Dear Eddie
by praticallyperfectpoppins
Summary: "I suppose I should thank you. Thank you. For all the memories, experiences and the rest in-between. I really did give my all to this school. Waterloo Road is my home; always has been and always will be." This is a story focused on Rachel and Eddie, mainly consistent with the series until the end. Mainly seen through Rachel's perspective. R&R x
1. Chapter 1

Hey, so anyone that read my story Safe Haven, I did delete it because I've been away for a while and after much thought, I decided to publish this. It's along the same lines but this goes from series 3-5 and I'm going to change the ending to one which I'm sure we'd all prefer (Reddie, hint hint). This is a little like the fic _If I Wrote You a Love Letter._ I can't remember who it's by but it's a favourite of mine so if I remember, I'll tell you. Also, this fic is going to be very long so hold on there. I hope you enjoy :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Waterloo Road. If I did, I wouldn't be writing this

* * *

 _Eddie Lawson- Deputy Head and Mathematics teacher. About early 40s. Possibly a problem in terms of attitude, refuses to cooperate, but cares very much for teachers and students. Hard worker._

 _Grantly Budgen- Head of English. In 60s. Lazy, incompetent, sarcastic, and possibly the least enthusiastic member of staff. Needs to be involved more with the school, shall make note. Can be rude to both teachers and students. Review._

 _Stephanie Haydock- Head of Pastoral Care and French teacher. Late 40s maybe? Questionable as to whether she can speak French well, or even teach it. Not enthusiastic either, prone to gossip, and has a worrying eye for men. Good with the kids sometimes, is determined to help them succeed despite her failings. Has an adoptive daughter in school: Maxine. Review also._

 _Matt Wilding- Head of Music and Drama. 20s. A good, hardworking teacher but close friends with Steph? Evident gossip, can easily be led astray. Good teacher._

 _…._

 _Tom Clarkson- English teacher. Early 40s, late 30s? Very good with the children, brilliant record, works hard, and receives outstanding results in the classroom. Possible promotion? Could be good for head of English or pastoral care. Has two children in school, Mika and Chlo. Unprofessional?_

 _Jasmine Koreshi- An NQT English teacher. 20s. Hard working, eager to please, a little too eager. Strong opinions, steady character, overall fairly pleasing._

 _Davina Shackleton- Teaching Assistant. 30s. Mainly cares for Karla, has plenty of potential, eager to please. Could train to be a teacher if wanted, would be good candidate. Rumours of potential relationship with Tom. Works frequently with him, may be unprofessional. Review later._

 _….._

 _Bridget Morley- School Secretary and School Bursar. 40s. Pleasant, welcoming, good secretary, valuable skills. No issue there._

 _….._

 _Candice Smilie- Senior Canteen Assistant. 40s. Works well and fast. All food is provided healthy. Quick judger, loud, has a way with the kids, keeps them in line at lunch. Son in the school, Bolton Smilie. Not questionable as she does not see him within working hours unless necessary._

 _Lewis Seddon- Canteen Assistant. 18 years old. Has a questionable past, works hard, keeps himself quiet. Dating Maxine Barlow. Good idea? Review._

 _17_ _th_ _November 2007_

 _Dear Eddie,_

 _If someone asked what had possessed me to write this then I wouldn't be able to formulate a coherent answer. You see, I am not entirely sure myself. I haven't known you very long. A week, in fact, and the truth is that you are driving me crazy. These past five days have been fuelled by petty arguments and irritation. In all my professional years, I have never known anyone like you. You are stubborn, resilient, and downright annoying, but I know there is more to you. There must be._

 _Jasmine Koreshi and Tom Clarkson are two perfect examples of respectable members of staff, and they regard you in the highest esteem. Most members of staff do, despite you not being here very long. So, there must be something I'm missing._

 _I am highly aware that you care about this school. Waterloo Road seems to mean as much to you as it does to me. Odd, considering neither of us have been here very long. It's endearing to say the least. At times, I almost fall for it when you protest strongly against my recommendations because you care so deeply. Then you give me that all so familiar glare and your mouth downturns in a horrible way, reminding me that we don't get along at all. There hasn't been one conversation yet where we can agree, where we can find common ground. I want to. Every time we have our enigmatic debates, I want to believe it will end in peace rather than another silly disagreement. I want to believe we will become a strong force of nature. The dream team._

 _Either way, I can't help but become increasingly frustrated with you. Do you remember my first day? You must do. Firstly, I should like to apologise on behalf of not only myself but for Rhea Cheetham. I know for a fact that your hostility grew from your competitiveness. You wanted that headship and I can't blame you. So, I suppose I wasn't a welcoming sight when you entered the office, thinking you had a whole day of playing boss to do. Miss Cheetham had stopped your chance at progressing in your career and so had I. So naturally, I understand why you were a little irritated at my being there._

 _But then you had to ruin it. I had heard so many great things about you. I even mentioned that when we shook hands. You just stared at me in that grumpy manner so well-known to me now and said nothing. I had been told about your previous teaching assignments, about all the good things you had done for the schools and the students, about the wonderful and talented mathematician you are. I didn't see any of that on the first day. I didn't see the amazing Mr Lawson that I had heard so much about. Rhea told me you were kind, caring, funny, and a man of integrity above all. You were the perfect teacher, she assured me. Honestly, I did not see that side of you on the first day. I know I'm partly to blame for that. You made a good sparring partner nevertheless._

 _To make it worse, you questioned my ideas and plans, accusing me of being a fleeting mark on Waterloo Road, unable to fulfil what I had planned. Of course you are going to doubt me, that is only natural. We don't know each other. I just wish you'd trust me more. When you asked about my plans, I could see the way you flinched when I told you, the way you stood up straighter as if to be intimidating instead of hurt. Trust me when I say making these changes will be good for the school. I wasn't labelled a 'Super Head' for the sake of it. In fact, I'd like to think I earned that name through my own hard work. A new curriculum is needed. Sure, you don't agree but think hard about it. A business and enterprise status! Vocational courses, specialist staff, a new I.T. infrastructure, dedicated facilities, and a new extended school. Why can't you see it the way I do? You asked about money as if it would catch me off guard. Everything had been carefully planned for weeks, ever since Jack Rimmer had left. They had phoned me immediately after his resignation. I didn't take the job to sit back and enjoy it. I had always planned to hit the ground running, knowing it would upset some staff, and even pupils. Being a senior member of staff, I thought you would have been more enthusiastic about it. All you did was accuse me of not knowing the kids well enough. It did hurt a little, even as I came across as quite curt._

 _'We have no one to teach it'; 'the kids won't want to be taught numpty courses' and my favourite 'I suppose it isn't hard to teach kids how to carry a rucksack'. I have to say you put up a spirited defence and I quite enjoyed it. Nobody has given me a run for my money in a long time. You then sarcastically applauded me on knowing the children in the school with all my 'ten minutes experience'. If only you'd believed me when I said I was a fast learner. And I'm learning fast about you._

 _It probably didn't help that I removed all of your belongings from the office, dumping them in a black bag. After having that unpleasant conversation with you, it was a nice feeling to do that to you. A little rude and unprofessional of me but it felt good at the time._

 _Also, when you assured me you would deal with Mr Budgen in terms of him being caught gambling on school computers, I didn't refuse you that because I didn't trust you. I did it because I wanted to prove I was good at something. I'd only arrived and I was still trying to figure out the staff, who were fine and who needed to be kept an eye on. Grantly was one of those teachers. I think I did scare him a little, however, when we had our meeting. He had sauntered in, evidently displeased at being called away in the first place. I stated the fact that he was not an enthusiastic member of staff, which even you can agree is correct. He promptly responded that I 'had it in for him'. Not particularly true, but I will keep him on close watch. After I told him I didn't approve of his attitude, he started to leave, claiming it was the end of the conversation. I didn't let him go just then. There was still his issue of gambling. He tried to lie his way out of it but I stopped him, taking out a copy of the school teacher's log in accounts, added with a note of the websites he visited. He was shocked to be sure. He did have two warnings from there. One from you, which had been his verbal from earlier, and one from me. Just to keep him in check, I told him I would probably find a third by the end of the week, even if I had to make it up. The look on his face was priceless. Safe to say, he has been fairly amiable with me since._

 _Then there were our little arguments. You followed me into my office after I grilled Steph Haydock, telling me you'd seen enough. If only you knew what I had in store. I was given a job to do, one to assess the school and its staff. I cannot have lazy, incompetent professionals on my management team or even at all. Surely you should agree with that. When you couldn't win the argument, you warned me that I should know what I'm doing. Believe me, I do. I am absolutely confident in what I am doing._

 _'You're doing all this bum up the backside stuff as if it means something to you. You're an associate Head. You'll be gone in six months."_

 _I could see how much I had upset you. I could also see how much you wanted me to be gone, not in six months but right then._

 _I briefly mentioned that I had dated a maths teacher once and he was dull. I mean, you are hardly dull. You've been keeping me on edge since I got here and you're exceedingly hardworking and dedicated to your job. You made a dig in response, something about my failing as a head teacher. It isn't my system, I had pointed out to you. You told me even so, it suited me pretty well. That caused a reaction in me, something I usually try to avoid. It seems a little funny now that of all things I could have called you; a dinosaur seemed a little strange. The word fit you pretty well, to be honest. The teaching system you believed in was prehistoric and was what made Waterloo Road fail in the first place. It is my job to fix that, you seem to forget. I must apologise, however, for saying there was no wonder why you weren't offered Jack Rimmer's job. Of course, a week later I can see you are perfectly suited to a headship, even if you don't agree with my conditions. You followed me to remind me I had only been there a day and I had managed to upset staff already, something I had been prepared for. Last of all, I told you I will give my all to this school, no matter how long I stay. And I mean it, Eddie. You can quote me on that. There is nothing I wouldn't do for any school I work at. That is why I became a teacher in the first place._

 _Grantly had then appeared, apologising for his misconduct. He had surprised you and me. To make sure you had the last word, you asked if I was involved in dark magic to receive an apology off Grantly. Honestly, I did not think much of you after that day._

 _Now I've been here for a full week, I would like to think I have seen your integrity and that you are kind and caring, perhaps not to me, but to everyone else. I haven't seen the funny side of you yet. I should like to think that I will see it at some point. You can't stay miserable forever._

 _In all honesty, I don't know where I'm going with this letter. I don't know what it was for. All of these things could be said to you in person, to the real Eddie. Yet, I know these words are not meant to be said aloud. I'm not quite ready to express these thoughts so perhaps writing them down is the best option for me. For now, that seems best._

 _I suppose I should apologise also for the things I said to you, although I'm not particularly that sorry at all. I'm sorry I hinted you were dull, even though, I do slightly believe it to be true. I'm sorry I undermined you and did not believe in your professional abilities. I do believe that I was proven wrong on that and so, I am sorry. I really do hope we will get along in the future. There is nothing I want more. It seems a little strange that I wrote a letter to a man, considering it isn't a love letter or anything of that sort._

 _So, this will be my only letter to you. I can't see why I should write another, unless you manage to really anger me but I think we're getting there. I can't see that happening now._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Rachel_

* * *

Rachel sat back in her leather chair; a little embarrassed she had written the letter at all. She had a journal with her, a plain black one that should be used for work. Since purchasing it, there was hardly anything in there, apart from brief notes on several occasions.

With the clock ticking by and the precarious amount of paperwork that needed doing, Rachel had been uncharacteristically distracted by a certain someone. Eddie Lawson was not a man she was attracted to, nor did she think she ever would be, but she thought about him a lot. She couldn't help but wonder what she had to do to please him so they could make a better team. It was not a known quality of hers for wanting to please staff, yet it made sense to her that Eddie and she had a healthy working relationship, something that had not yet occurred.

Looking down at her letter, she closed the journal hastily, leaving it in the top drawer. It was something she never wanted him to see, nor anyone else for that matter. He humiliated her enough without needing to add extra reason. As if on cue, Eddie stormed into the office, papers in hand.

"Blake Chapman," he declared darkly. "Thrown another table across the room. Sent him to the cooler but he's having none of it. He was calling me all sorts of names."

Rachel glanced down at the papers, silently questioning if they were for her.

"Oh." He looked at them. "These are for Steph, nothing to worry about."

Rachel stood up, her hands running along her skirt as she often did. "Right, well, I will go deal with Blake. Do you want to come with me?"

He thought about it for a moment, slightly conflicted. "No, I should give these to Steph but I'll be there as soon as I have."

She nodded, leaving her office with him close behind. They said nothing and soon he turned down another corridor to Steph's office. Rachel had found she sometimes enjoyed his presence; he had a certain air of authority about him. She had only started to appreciate that. Stopping outside the cooler, she could see Blake sitting with his head in his hands. He had been a particularly hard student to deal with recently. Nobody knew what the matter was. Blake could never be known as a high-flyer, nor was he always well behaved, but his recent behaviour definitely exceeded his usual cheeky comment and late homework. Rachel stepped into the room, almost holding her breath. She wasn't sure how to deal with him. Blake looked up at her, rolling his eyes.

"Mr Lawson couldn't handle me then, miss?" he sneered.

"Mr Lawson is busy elsewhere. I, however, am not."

Blake sat back, evidently deciding how he could proceed from there. Rachel reasoned he didn't know her well enough to make a reasonable assumption at how she would react to his behaviour.

"What did you do wrong?" she asked, giving him the benefit of the doubt.

"I ain't done nothing, miss, I swear. It was Mr Lawson. He was being well rude to me."

"So you knocked a table over."

"No, I didn't do that."

She hadn't seen Eddie's class. Then again, neither had Blake for the past ten minutes.

"Well, that's funny, because I spoke to your class and they seem to all think you did it. In fact, they know you did. Why don't you be honest with me, hm?"

Blake didn't seem to take that well. "What part of I didn't do it, don't you understand?"

Rachel stood up, sighing heavily. "The part I don't understand is your complete and utter disregard for the school rules, and your lack of respect for teachers and your fellow classmates."

Blake rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

She obviously wasn't going to break through to him just yet. Deciding to personally read his file and speak to Steph, she moved to the door, stopping as her hand touched the handle.

"You can stay in here until lunchtime. Think about what you've done. If you don't, I'm afraid you'll be missing out on lunch."

"What?" Blake slammed his hands on the desk. "You can't do that."

"I'm afraid I can." As she stepped out of the cooler, she noticed Jasmine walking past with a folder. "Oh, Jasmine," she called, "Do you mind?"

Jasmine rushed over quickly, eager to impress the new head teacher.

"Yes?"

"I was wondering if you would mind sitting with Blake Chapman. Only until the end of the period. I don't know who is meant to be in there now but they will most definitely hear from me."

"Sure," Jasmine nodded.

Rachel watched her sit down at the desk before she made her way back to the office. On her way, she bumped into Eddie, who she guessed was looking for her.

"I was on my way to the cooler," he explained.

"I know. I left Jasmine in there for the moment. According to him, he didn't do it. So I left him in there, maybe even over lunch if he doesn't admit to it. This kind of behaviour needs to stop. Perhaps I can contact his parents."

Eddie followed her down the corridor. "It won't be much help right now. I spoke to Steph about him just. He was taken off his mother a couple of months ago and is living in care at the moment."

"Oh." Rachel halted, frowning up at him. "Well, that will explain his current behaviour, wouldn't it? Surely Steph thought to say something."

"Evidently not," he grumbled.

"Right, then I'll make an exception this time. We should really figure out the best strategy to help him. Steph should have done that. She's head of pastoral care, for goodness' sake."

As they entered the office, the bell rang. Eddie looked out of the window over the playground. "I should be going. I have duty."

"Of course," she nodded. "I'll see you later then."

"I suppose."

He stared at her for a moment. She was unsure of what he was thinking but before she managed to ask, he had left the office. Rachel watched him go; a little disappointed he had to leave. Turning, she sat down at her desk, calling through to Bridget. She needed to speak to Steph about another error she'd made.


	2. Chapter 2

Rachel made her way down the empty corridors, relishing the morning silence. There was still another hour until school started and she had been surprised to see another car. As the headmistress, she made it her business to be there before everyone else. It turned out she wasn't the first for once and she was curious as to why. She knew whose the car was, even certain why they were there. Rachel still wanted the satisfaction of speaking to him.

As she entered the front foyer, she could see Eddie crouching on the floor as he desperately tried to fit poles into a tent bag. Rachel had to admit she was impressed by his dedication to the trip, considering how much she had plainly objected to the idea.

"Don't they have tents that pop up these days?" she teased.

She knew how much Eddie was taking his trip seriously. He had proposed on taking the likes of Bolton Smilie, Paul Langley, and Dominic Hammond on a wilderness boot camp to help them curb their behaviour. Rachel wasn't one of the supporters; outwardly suggesting numerous times that it wouldn't work. He peered up at her, irate that she would question him.

"That would defeat the object, wouldn't it?" he frowned.

She moved to the other side of him, her gaze running over the pile of equipment. "That's funny. I thought the trip was to Derbyshire, not the DMZ."

Eddie was growing increasingly frustrated, checking the torches as he spoke.

"The idea is to push the lads in a way they haven't been pushed before," he explained, "They've already given up in the classroom; let's see what they can achieve away from it."

Even with her disbelief, she was slightly amused, smiling down at him. "I do appreciate your enthusiasm, Eddie."

"But you think it's misdirected."

She shrugged, looking upwards. "Well, it's just the boys you are taking with you are…"

Eddie finished packing the bag, irritated that he had to explain himself. "Yeah, troublemakers, the class clowns, the under achievers. At least, that's what they think they are. Maybe in a new environment, they will show something different about themselves."

Rachel tried to believe him but she was finding it hard to. She would only be able to make a decision once he had returned.

* * *

Being the organised woman she was, Rachel wasn't happy letting Eddie leave until she had seen him one more time. Besides, she wanted to see some form of excitement from the boys who were going. At least then, she would feel more enthusiastic about the trip herself. It had cost her four staff. There was Eddie, of course, and Grantly, who had no other choice in the matter. Rachel had been determined that he would interact more with the children and that was a start. An English teacher, Tom Clarkson, had agreed to go and a classroom assistant, Davina Shackleton.

Outside, she could see Eddie briefly speaking to Grantly. Whatever the old man was saying, Eddie didn't seem pleased to hear it. She went down to them, managing to catch the end of Grantly's rant.

"You can't turn a bad lad into a good one by sticking him into a canoe."

Rachel reached out to tap him on the shoulder, wishing to ask for a moment with Eddie.

"Yes?" he snapped, spinning around.

He was evidently shocked when he saw her standing there, rather than a student. Rachel questioned the way he had reacted, considering she could have been anyone, but let it slip with the knowledge that she could always have a word with him when he returned.

"Hello, Mr Budgen," she smiled.

She could see Eddie smirking behind him.

"Miss Mason," he nodded, hurrying off in embarrassment.

Feeling rather smug, Rachel stepped beside Eddie, running her hand through her hair. She was looking at the boys who were huddled together, laughing between themselves.

"They seem excited," she stated.

"They should be. There's no reason why they shouldn't be happy to go."

"Because they weren't given a choice."

He glowered, throwing some of the bags into the back of the van. "Look, they'll be fine. They see it as a chance to miss school anyway, whether they are with teachers or not. Stop worrying about it."

Rachel was a natural worrier.

"Just have a good time most of all," she fretted, "Don't push them too hard." She hesitated. "And good luck."

"Okay," he sighed, "Give us a chance."

She wandered to the boys, interrupting their conversation.

"You behave yourself," she warned them, "And do what Mr Lawson asks of you. Most of all, enjoy yourselves."

"Yes, miss," they answered.

She nodded at Eddie with a smile, going back into the school. She was sure they'd be fine, even as she continued to irk Eddie. After all, he could look after himself.

* * *

Sitting on the edge of her desk, Rachel looked up at the four students in front of her. She had been anxious that morning, not only because of the trip, but knowing there was an inevitable awkward conversation to have. Brett Aspinall was standing by the window, trying as hard as he could to appear confident in his stance. He was failing nevertheless. Donte Charles was sitting on the sofa, arms crossed and sullen. Chlo and Mika had only just entered the office, both surprised at seeing the two boys.

Rachel had thought about what she was going to say during the weekend, knowing it was a sensitive issue but also aware they were basically adults. They should be treated as such. It was not one of the issues she wanted to deal with. It was compromising and it needed to be done. Glancing around the room, Mika took the first chance to speak.

"What's going on?" she inquired.

"Well, I thought as this is the first time you've all been back at school together that we should, erm, clear the air. Now, I've got a rough idea of what went on…"

"The whole school has," Mika spoke, glaring darkly at Brett.

"But I don't need to know the details," Rachel continued, "I just want you all to try and put it behind you. If you don't want anything to do with each other, that's fine. It's a big school. Just stay out of each other's way and if there's nothing nice to say than I strongly suggest that you all just keep your gobs shut. Yeah?"

She knew Mika and Brett had been together and Chlo and Donte were actually married. She also knew that Chlo and Mika were sisters. From the whispers around school, something had occurred between Chlo and Brett which Donte happened to find out about. Well, she knew what had occurred but she had to remind herself it was none of her business. Either way, there hadn't been a good outcome.

"Okay?" she stressed.

Chlo nodded, evidently eager to leave.

"Good," Rachel smiled, hoping they would be adults about it. "So let's shake on it."

Brett moved first, reaching out to shake Donte's hand. Donte glanced up at Rachel, disgusted. She nodded encouragingly at him, wishing he would be good enough to at least shake Brett's hand. He stood up, pausing in front of Brett for a brief moment before walking away to the other side of the office. Rachel closed her eyes, trying desperately to hide her disappointment.

"I'm sorry, miss," argued Mika, "I'm more than happy to stay out of Brett's way but that's as far as it's going."

"Mika…" Brett tried to walk towards her.

"You know how you could put things right? Sod off to another school."

Rachel stood. She realised it wasn't going to work the way she wanted. "Now, that's enough. Come on, I understand you've all had your feelings hurt."

She was plainly ignored.

"Is that what you really want?" Brett checked.

"Well, it's what I want, mate," exclaimed Donte, pleased to say what he wanted.

Brett ignored him. "Mika?"

She looked up at him, staring him right in the eye. "I never want to see you again, Brett."

"Fine." He turned to Rachel. "I think Mika's right. I think I should transfer to another school as soon as possible."

The bell rang, prompting the other three to leave without her permission. Rachel shook her head in disbelief, unable to respond. It definitely had not gone as she had hoped. Evidently, there was more work to be done. Brett left too, practically running out of the office.

* * *

Rachel sat there for a while, deciding if she should go after him or not. Eventually, she sprang up, walking as fast as she could to catch Brett on his way to class. She spotted him walking past the stairs a minute later.

"Well, the age of chivalry isn't dead," she called.

"I'm sorry," Brett frowned, "I don't understand."

She joined him, matching his stride with ease. "You offer to walk away from Waterloo Road for Mika's sake. Of course, you know, I can't let that happen."

He rolled his eyes, bothered that she was being so persistent. "Why not?"

"Because you'd leave too big a hole if you went."

Brett was one of those students that kept them in a certain place in the league tables. There weren't many students who were academically inclined. Brett was one of those that brought hope to the teachers when they didn't seem to be progressing with the other students. Rachel wasn't prepared to let him go, aware of what that would mean for the school.

"Really?" He sounded surprised.

"Yeah, you're an excellent pupil. You are the lead in the musical, editor of the paper, and generally one of the only good examples in the school."

They stopped in the front foyer. Brett laughed, glancing down the corridor.

"That's all very flattering but I don't think I have a choice. I'll cause more strife here than if I go. So, thanks for the pep talk…"

He was about to walk away, tugging his bag further on his shoulder. Rachel panicked, knowing she needed to convince him before the end of the day.

"She won't think any better of you, you know."

She had finally caught his attention.

"What?"

"Mika," she explained, "She won't see that you've fallen on your sword. She'll just think you're running away and leaving her to clean up your mess."

Brett was visibly taken aback by what she said, frowning as he struggled to reply. "But she said…"

"I know," she interrupted, "I know. Listen, this isn't very easy for me to say but sometimes women say exactly the opposite of what they mean."

"I don't think there was any hidden message in what Mika had to say," he protested.

"But can you be sure?"

She offered a questioning smile, knowing she was leaving him with numerous questions. At the end of the school day, she was hoping he would change his mind. She couldn't afford to let him leave.

* * *

During lesson time, Rachel had checked where Mika would be that day, learning her timetable in the hope of catching her. At break, she waited outside of the English classrooms until she spotted Mika slipping through the door.

"Mika," she called, "Can I have a word?"

Mika evidently wasn't pleased but didn't protest. She stopped by the window, unwilling to participate in the upcoming conversation.

"I'm sorry if you felt ambushed earlier," Rachel said. Mika grimaced, saying nothing. "I wanted to pay you the respect of talking to you like adults. Okay?"

"Okay."

"And about your request…"

Mika seemed to know what she was going to say beforehand, staring disapprovingly out of the window. "Go on," she prompted.

"I want you to talk Brett out of leaving."

Mika laughed bitterly, finally looking at Rachel.

"I know," eased Rachel, "I get it. You never want to see him again and the sooner he leaves…"

"Exactly," Mika snapped.

"Even if that means he gets to go away scot free. You may think he's doing the right thing but really he's leaving you, Chlo, and Donte to pick up the pieces. I don't think that's fair. I mean, he helped create the mess, he should clear it up."

Mika rolled her eyes, crossing her arms. "It's not why you want him to stay though, is it? Not your star pupil."

Rachel couldn't help but smile, approving of her sharpness. "Fair point. But I still think he should face up to what he did."

Smiling as she did with Brett, Rachel walked away, trusting the two would work things out between themselves. Or at least, she hoped so. Rachel wasn't one for dramatics but she would get down on her knees to beg Brett to stay, aware she would be in trouble if he left after a week of her being there.

* * *

Her whole morning had been filled with paperwork. Rachel took the opportunity at the lunch time to phone Eddie before visiting the canteen. She waited impatiently as the phone rang out, drumming her fingers against the desk. She was eager to hear how the trip was going. Knowing him, she trusted he had everything under control. He finally picked up.

"Hey, Rachel," he answered dryly. He didn't sound pleased that she had phoned.

"Eddie." She felt a genuine smile beginning to show. "I was checking on how things were going."

"Yeah, things are going great."

He seemed a little distracted. She could hear him muttering something to someone else. Conscious of that fact, Rachel proceeded on a purely professional basis.

"Are you sure? What are they all up to now?"

"Erm, they're just going around the track as a competition. It's bringing out a responsible side to them, you know how it is. Look, I've got to go. I need to drive down to the end of the track to be there when they arrive."

"Oh, of course." She paused. "I'll phone you later then."

She could practically sense him holding in a sigh.

"Great," he muttered, "See you then."

"Bye."

She was admittedly disappointed that their conversation hadn't lasted longer, ignoring the persistent thought that he had been unwilling to speak to her. Picking up her mug of coffee, she took a sip, looking out over the playground. She liked to see all of her pupils enjoying themselves. The school had been close to closure when she had agreed to overtake the headship. Seeing them reminded her of why she was doing this. Her eyes ran over all of the different kids, noticing a young girl walking out of the school gates, checking over her shoulder as she did. Frowning, Rachel put her mug down, grabbing her blazer and car keys as she hurried outside.

* * *

Rachel found her only minutes later, walking down the road in a housing estate. She pulled up beside the girl, knowing the student was fully aware of Rachel's presence.

"Excuse me, where are you going?"

"Home, miss," the girl answered, looking uneasily down at the pavement.

Rachel was displeased to be dealing with absences when there shouldn't have a problem at all. Yet, Waterloo Road had an alarming rate of truancy.

"No, I don't think so. Come on, I'm taking you back to school." Rachel was determined that the girl stay at school, whatever the excuse.

"I've got an optician's appointment," argued the girl, sounding rather desperate. "I'm going to be late. I gave Mr Wilding my note. He said it would be okay."

Rachel couldn't help her sigh of annoyance. Not only was she irritated with Matt for letting a girl out of the school without her permission, the girl was blatantly lying.

"I thought you said you were going home," she tested. Her finger tapped on the steering wheel as she watched the girl struggle for an answer.

"What I meant was…"

"Get in."

The girl clambered into the car, still protesting. "My mom will be worried."

"What's your name?" Rachel demanded, uninterested in a worried mother. That was something she could handle if need be.

"Louise Dodds," was the answer.

"Okay, Louise. Let's sort this mess out back at school." She clicked her fingers near the seat. "Seatbelt."

As Louise scrambled for her seatbelt, Rachel pulled away from the pavement, her escalating frustration getting stronger.

* * *

"I'm going to be blind!"

Rachel had heard enough wild accusations on her way back to the school. The car journey back had been full of protests and Rachel had nearly developed a migraine. As she climbed the stairs to her office, she didn't want to hear any more. Louise wasn't going to stop.

"Come on," she retorted. "It's bad enough you've been caught off school premises without permission and now ridiculous lying."

"I'm not lying," affirmed Louise. "I have to go home."

Rachel opened the door to her antechamber. "Come on, Louise." She spotted Bridget pinning up posters on the board. "Bridget, please could you put this girl in my office and keep her there."

Bridget complied with a nod, leading Louise away quietly.

"Thank you," Rachel breathed, running a hand through her hair.

She could tell already the girl would be a handful. Spinning around, she immediately set for Matt's classroom, not even pausing to take her coat off. Knocking on his door, she asked to have a word with him outside. They both ignored the 'oohs' from the students. As soon as the door closed, she made her point clear.

"Look, I know some schools are pretty relaxed about letting kids out for optician's appointments or whatever."

He nodded, although she could tell he was confused. Rachel knew Matt was a valuable member of staff. He had demonstrated that clearly in the short time she had known him. A quick word would be enough to warn him from allowing a mistake again.

"Okay?" he frowned.

"But I prefer to, you know, play by the books. So, for future reference, I consider a child being absent for an eye test an unauthorised absence. Yeah, do you understand?"

Matt almost laughed in his confusion. "I understand what you're saying. I just don't understand why you're saying it me."

"Louise Dodds."

"Yeah?"

Rachel was growing frustrated with his lack of cooperation. He appeared completely blasé about the situation. "You let her leave school for an eye test."

"No, I didn't," he replied, "I don't even know her."

"Right, well, great," she exclaimed, "you're her form tutor."  
"No, I'm not."

Rachel suddenly realised what had happened, ashamed she had made that mistake. She had been lied to again. Rolling her eyes, she was frustrated that she had been fooled by a girl. Partially, she blamed herself for not knowing the students better but she had to remind herself there were only so many students she could know after a week.

"I'm sorry."

She walked away; unable to look back. His bewilderment was palpable.

* * *

An hour later, she was sitting at the desk in the cooler, trying to get through her paperwork. The cooler had been empty with no teacher inside. Whichever teacher that was meant to be there earlier had evidently shirked their duties, unless it was one of the four who had gone on the trip. Either way, she had not imagined spending her afternoon in the room with Louise. She would rather be in the sanctuary of her office. The girl was sitting at the closest desk, completing homework she had been given earlier. Matt entered, placing his coffee down onto the desk. Rachel couldn't have been happier to see him.

"Hi," he smiled, "Sorry I'm late for my shift."

He placed his bag on the floor, relieved to take it off his shoulder.

"Great." Rachel almost jumped from her seat, pleased to retreat back into her office.

While she packed her work away, Matt stared curiously at Louise.

"What are you doing here?" He turned to Rachel, equally as confused as earlier. "Is she okay?"

Rachel stuffed her folder into her bag, glaring up at Louise. "No, she is not. She's a pathological liar."

"Sally?" Matt questioned.

Rachel shrugged her bag onto her shoulder, frowning at him. "Don't you mean Louise? Apparently, she's got to go home to see her brother because her mom's in Spain."

"It's true!" the girl exclaimed.

"Be quiet."

Rachel left the room, passing a sceptical look at Matt as she did. A part of her was starting to doubt how much the girl was lying. She was so insistent that Rachel was starting to wonder if she had made a mistake.

Once her office door was closed, she instantly sat down at her desk, checking through the school records. Louise Dodds was not in Matt's form but Sally Froggatt was. He had called her Sally, hadn't he? She rang the home phone, hoping someone might answer. If she had been walking home, her mother would have been at home too. No answer. She rang the work place of Mrs Froggatt. Nothing. She rang both numbers once more to check. Again, there was no answer from either. Rachel was about to ring Mrs Froggatt's mobile number, annoyed there had been no reply when Matt entered her office.

"There's no answer from Sally's home number," she informed him. "Shouldn't you be with her? She's already made one bid for freedom today."

Even as she said it, she knew there was a reason the girl had behaved the way she did. Rachel should have learnt from her years of experience that there was always a reason for everything.

"Yeah, I know," Matt nodded, "That's because I think her mom really is away. I don't think she's lying." He leant down on the desk. "Have you tried her mom's mobile?"

The number was already typed into her phone. She dialled the number, letting it ring out. The sound that greeted her only made her panic. She realised the predicament not only she, but Sally, was in.

"It's the international ringtone. She's abroad."

Rachel knew she had made a colossal mistake, chastising herself for allowing the error to happen in the first place. Matt stood straight, alarmed as she was.

"So Sally's little brother really is alone."

They rushed out of the office, both distressed at the possibility of what may have happened to Sally's younger brother.

* * *

Rachel followed Sally as she ran down the drive, hurrying to unlock the door. While the girl had already bolted inside, Rachel was on the phone, having been deprived of it whilst driving.

"Hello? Mrs Froggatt? This is Rachel Mason, head of your daughter's school. Now, Sally has been telling me all about your, erm, little holiday. If you don't reply to this message in twenty minutes, I am calling the police."

It may have sounded a little harsh, but a woman had left two underage children in a house for a week while she was abroad. The living room was empty when she entered. Sally was standing worriedly in the middle of the room. Although bland, there were signs of children living there. The place was full of ready-meals and takeaways.

"Ben?"

Rachel guessed he was supposed to have been in that room, his toys lying idly on the table. "So, where is he?"

Whatever happened, she felt personally responsible. She should have listened to Sally. If anything had happened, Rachel didn't know what she'd do. She didn't even want to think about it. If she had listened earlier, doing the job she was meant to, then he may not have disappeared.

"I don't know," muttered Sally anxiously. "Maybe Tracy's taken him?"

She carried on into the kitchen. Rachel followed, holding her breath in anticipation. "Is she usually late for something?"

"No."

Rachel wanted to know where they had found the child-minder. From the current situation they were in, she couldn't have been a reliable one. Once they had found Ben, she was going to get a hold of this Tracy to find out where she was and what she was doing, considering she was being paid to care for the children.

The back door was open in the kitchen. Sally ran through, terrified. With her quickening heart rate, Rachel started to worry that he had disappeared completely, following Sally into the square yard. They stood in the garden, looking around in hope that he would suddenly appear.

"Where is he?" Sally panicked, desperate for an answer.

"I don't know." Looking around the garden, Rachel reasoned there weren't many places he could have gone. The garden was securely fenced so he couldn't have left through there. "He can't have gone far, can he?"

She heard a faint voice calling for Sally. Rachel spun round, moving across the yard to where she thought she had heard the voice, noticing a cereal box sitting on the ledge of the shed.

"Sally," she called, rushing inside.

The voice was coming from the refrigerator. Yanking open the door, she was almost sick with nerves. It jolted open. Ben was sitting inside, staring up at her in puzzlement. Rachel flicked her head up to Sally who stood in the doorway, unable to hide her shock.

* * *

Minutes later, she was perched on the arm of Sally's sofa, the girl beside her, Ben pulled onto her lap.

"It was my fault," Sally declared.

"Oh, Sally," Rachel sighed, "That's not what I'm saying. You should never have had to lie for your mother in the first place."

"I couldn't get her into trouble."

Rachel felt embarrassed she felt the need to explain. A young girl should not have to cover for her mother. Yet, she knew that if Ben had stayed in the broken refrigerator any longer, he could have died.

"She's got herself into trouble." Her mobile rang, interrupting what she was saying. "Big trouble."

"Why?" Sally was starting to panic. "What are you going to do? Not call the police?"

"I don't know." Rachel was hesitant to make any promises when she hadn't even spoken to the mother. Picking up her phone, she was pleased to see Mrs Froggatt's number. "Hello? Ah, Mrs Froggatt." She walked into the kitchen, aware that Sally would want to listen. "Good of you to call. Well, I suggest you get straight to the school because that is where your children will be. I'm assuming you want to see them." She looked over her shoulder at the children. "Thank you."

* * *

It was one thing after another. Once Rachel had stepped into her office, Bridget had called through to say Mr Lawson was on his way back with the boys. It seemed there had been an accident concerning Eddie and he had been unable to continue the trip. The thought of Eddie hurt had left her extremely worried. She couldn't stop fretting as she waited for them to return. Not wanting to wait any longer, she had phoned Tom in a panic, but he had been vague on the details with no specification on how Eddie had hurt himself. That hadn't eased her nerves.

As soon as she saw the van enter the playground, she rushed outside, hurrying down the stairs. She could see him sitting in the passenger seat of the van. As she got closer, she caught sight of him with the realisation of what was worrying, unsuccessfully stifling a laugh. All of the apprehension had been for nothing. They were all back safe and well, mostly. Opening the door, she watched him struggle to get out. Of course, he found it hard to with a neck brace.

"Thank you," he muttered gruffly.

She could tell how bothered he was, disappointed by the outcome of the trip.

"Come on," she giggled, unable to remain serious. The sight of him sliding out of the chair was highly amusing. "Oh, God."

"What are you laughing at?"

"What hurts the most? Your neck or your ego?"

"I'm not in the mood," he grumbled. "I've had a bad day."

She couldn't help but emphasise with him. She knew exactly how he felt. After the day she'd had, she almost wanted to recount it to him, let him know what her worries were. He would listen. She somehow knew he would.

"Oh, your day has been a piece of cake compared to mine."

"Yeah?" he smiled, somehow brightened by her hardship.

"Yeah."

* * *

Eddie had moved straight to the cupboard in her office where he had found the whiskey bottle. He eyed it, making a note to return later. Rachel ushered Sally into the office where she offered a glass of water. As for Ben, Rachel had brought some of his toys with them so he could play on the floor in the antechamber. Waiting for Mrs Froggatt, Rachel couldn't help but pace. The more she thought about the situation those children were in, the angrier she grew.

Mrs Froggatt entered the antechamber a while later, heading straight for Ben. Eddie turned around, rather sharply. Rachel tried not to laugh in the situation they were in. He did look rather funny with a stiff neck. It wasn't the best time to be amused and he must have been in some pain. She was distracted once more as Mrs Froggatt brushed past, staring viciously after her. This was the angriest she had been in a long time. The woman was a mother. She should have acted like it. Rachel stood slowly as she walked past, holding her breath, nostrils flaring.

"Sally, it's alright," her mother said, "I'm not angry with you."

Rachel couldn't help herself. She was growing extremely vexed. She partly blamed herself for not noticing it earlier, but then she wouldn't have had to if Mrs Froggatt had just been a good mother.

"No, she's angry with you and I don't blame her."

They both glanced down at Sally who didn't reply, turning to look out of the window. Eddie sat down, upright in his condition. Rachel started to pace, her mind racing with all the things she wanted to say.

"Do you actually realise that this afternoon you almost lost your son?"

Mrs Froggatt had started to cry but Rachel didn't sympathise with her. They both glanced down at Ben who was blissfully unaware of the situation.

"And if you had," she continued, her voice rising, "it wouldn't have been anyone's fault but your own."

"I needed a break," Mrs Froggatt protested.

Rachel sighed shakily. "Have you any idea how pathetic that sounds?"

"Tracy, the child mind, she said…"

The head mistress paced in front of her, her finger tapping her chin in annoyance. Quickly she turned to Mrs Froggatt, her eyes blazing. "Oh, Tracy, the child minder. Yeah, I finally got hold of her this afternoon. Do you know why she couldn't go round to your house this morning?" Her voice rose into a shout, unable to contain her anger. "She had a hangover! Did she come with good references?"

Eddie swiftly disrupted the escalating conversation, hoping she would calm down.

"Rachel," he warned.

"Hey, I haven't even started," she told him. "She is lucky." She stared Mrs Froggatt in the eye. "You are lucky I didn't call the police.

"Rachel," Eddie disapproved, "I just think you're being a bit harsh."

Sally had been standing in the office the whole time. She moved to the door, staring at her mother. "I don't."

All three turned to look at her, almost forgetting she was there.

"I feel like calling the police myself," she continued.

"Sally, no," her mother begged, "Come on."

"No, it's not fair, mom," Sally cried, "I know you've had it hard but that's not mine and Ben's fault and you shouldn't make us feel like it is. I mean, when did we last have a holiday?"

Rachel was impressed that Sally was confident enough to defend herself. Standing back, she allowed her to have her say.

"I'm sorry, babe," her mother muttered.

"Promise me you'll never do it again."

"Okay, I promise."

Sally glanced at Rachel and Eddie. "Properly so Miss Mason and Mr Lawson are witnesses. Do it or I'll call the police."

"Okay," Mrs Froggatt whispered, "I promise. I will never leave you again."

Rachel went over to Sally, placing her hand on her back. "Go to your mom."

Sally did as she was told, hesitantly hugging her mother. Ben joined in too, eager to be close to her again. Watching them, Rachel couldn't help but smile. Eddie had stood, moving close to Rachel to see the touching scene. She peered up at him, eager to observe any sign that he was as contented as she. His arm could be felt brushing lightly against her own. Noticing her searching gaze, he smiled back. As she saw his mouth turn upwards, she looked away quickly, her cheeks turning a light shade of red. He still looked at her; she could feel his gaze on the back of her head, taking note intensely. She didn't pay him any attention. At least, that was how she wanted to seem.

* * *

An hour after the last bell had rung, Rachel left her office to where Eddie was sitting in the antechamber. She threw an empty pizza box into the bin, picking up her glass of whisky. His glass hadn't left his hand since the Froggatt's had gone home.

"Well, I think we can agree that the outing was not an outstanding success," she affirmed.

They clinked glasses; she smirked at his glum expression.

"It was a bloody shambles," he grumbled, "You must be over the moon."

Rachel sat down opposite him. Admittedly, she was disappointed they were still at that point in their working relationship where they thought one was after the other. They hadn't argued since her first day but there was still that edge. She was scared of it happening again.

"Of course I'm not," Rachel replied pointedly. "Yeah, I had doubts about the trip but I- I didn't want it to be a failure."

"Yeah, right," muttered Eddie, downing his drink.

"Obviously, the sight of you like that is something I wouldn't have missed for the world."

She laughed to herself, his grumpiness not distinguishing once. Putting down her glass, she looked up at him.

"It's hilarious," he grunted, "Good job it only hurts when I laugh."

She chuckled again. "No, I would have loved for the kids to come back transformed by the experience because I know that's what you wanted. Actually, I think that's the mistake you made. I think you set your sights way too high. The hit rates with lads like Bolton are so low."

"I know," Eddie sighed. "I just wanted to kick some arse, get them excited."

"Well, now you're talking." She sat forward, almost thrilled by their conversation. "Never give up. How about you and I put our heads together and we can see what we come up with? I promise you by the end of the school year, their arses will be well and truly kicked."

She could see a small spark in his eyes that suggested he was excited too at the thought of helping in another way. Rachel was pleased something had finally caught his interest, taking another sip of her drink. Surely, together they could make a success of something and if not, at least they were beginning to build bridges in their working relationship.

* * *

 _25_ _th_ _November 2007_

 _Dear Eddie,_

 _I am perfectly aware of my promise to never write a letter to you again but I'm finding it difficult not to. You see, I felt that something had changed between us today, something important._

 _You have to believe me when I say I did want you to succeed. As your boss and a working partner, I wanted you to bring a change in the boys that you obviously wanted so badly. On my first day, you passed me the sheet to confirm the trip and I had said you should enjoy it, there won't be another. I hadn't meant to put you down like that, you must know. It wasn't meant to be a criticism at all. The reason I suggested your plan wouldn't work was because I know how hard it is to change boys like Bolton and Paul. It isn't anything that happens overnight. I'm not saying it can't be done but that it needs time. Letting them traipse across the countryside will not make them encouraged in the classroom._

 _Even so, when I saw how excited you were by the slightest chance of improving their attitude, the idea caught on. I was excited with you and for you. You excited me. You made me believe it could happen. As you may have noticed, I believe in facts, in plain reality. It makes more sense to me. There are things that happened in my past that made me that way. Any imaginings of fantastical ideas and perfection, that just isn't what I believe in. Not like you, anyway. When I hear you speak to the students and your views on the world, it's romantic in a way. You have such a lovely view of the world. Because of that, you still made me believe anyhow. Only slightly, but most people cannot even brag of such a thing._

 _What worries me, however, and the reason for writing this is because you stirred something in me. A feeling I haven't felt in a long time. I cannot exactly say what it is. Is it attraction? I'm not entirely sure. It was there earlier this morning when we had our brief chat and you were trying to convince me why the trip was such a good idea. It thrills me somewhat to see how dedicated you are to the school and to the students. I know only last week I strongly affirmed there would never be an attraction to you but I managed to contradict myself so quickly._

 _The first time I felt it, I was looking down at you in the front hall as you strongly opposed everything I had to throw at you verbally. I was only testing you. Honestly, I hadn't expected much from your trip. I hadn't expected you to succeed. If you had or if you hadn't, it wouldn't have mattered to me. You didn't need to prove yourself. I only wanted to hear you defend yourself so strongly. Somehow I like it when you do that. It reminds me you're not as bad as you appear to be. There is more to you than I originally thought._

 _Challenge me. I want you to do that. Show me there is more to you than I ever would have thought possible. Does that sound wrong of me? Should I ask you that? I know you can only be much better than I had first anticipated and that can't be terrible, can it?_

 _While you were away, I did miss you. I know you were hardly gone the whole day but I missed you checking on me, even if it was to make sure I wasn't ruining the school. Then again, that's good because it shows how much you care about the work you do. I missed you challenging me, following me, and grumbling evermore about some irritation or another. It seemed strange to me that you weren't there._

 _The first issue this morning was of Mika and Brett. On my first day I really messed that up, do you remember? We had the student's presentations on their enterprise proposals. Brett had presented his thoughts on a school newspaper when Mika appeared at the door, ridiculously drunk and arguing blindly with him. I had wanted to exert my authority. Nobody knew me. Nobody knew what I could do. I had been denounced so many times that day by numerous members of staff, I wanted to show off. That backfired in the worst way, something that happened today too with Sally Froggatt. You tried to stop me, telling me you would deal with it. You claimed you knew the students better, you knew what the problem was. Of course you did. You have been working at Waterloo Road longer than me. I had only been there a few hours. I wouldn't let you, embarrassed you would do the job for me. So I shouted at her until she ended up emptying her stomach all over my chest and down my top. It must have been humorous to you, to say the least._

 _I tried to deal with that again today. Now I know it would have been nice to have you there. You do know them better and they could see right through me. Chlo and Donte were there too. Brett was told by the other three that he should leave. You know I can't let that happen. He is one of the only students at Waterloo Road who has achieved anything. That isn't to say I won't work hard with the other students, that's what I'm here for. I won't stop until they are all able to achieve something. But Brett wasn't going. It wasn't an option. I let him believe Mika was indecisive and Mika knew what I was doing. She still asked him to stay, however. So perhaps I didn't do too badly. Regardless, I wanted you to be there. You would have helped me, telling me what to do as always._

 _I phoned you in the middle of the day. You didn't sound particularly pleased that I had but I almost had an ulterior motive. Don't misunderstand me; I wanted to know how everything was going. I wanted to hear that enthusiasm you had shown earlier. You sounded a little stressed, a little annoyed that I had phoned. Hearing you like that, I was disappointed. I had thought you would have sounded different. The other reason I phoned was because I had missed you much more than I care to admit. Did you miss me too? Probably not. It was nice to hear your voice either way._

 _Then there was Sally Froggatt. Maybe you could have helped me there, you might have known her better than I did, and reminding me how wrong I was yet again in making an initial judgement. Luckily, Matt knew her well enough to show me my errors. I felt so ashamed of myself. I had been determined to punish Sally for her lying. Again, I had to exert my authority before anything else. I couldn't help myself. Maybe if I'd listened to her, I wouldn't have had to search for Ben. He would still be sitting in the living room, playing with his toys. Then again, I don't know how long he was in there. He could have been in there for a while._

 _I was ridiculously angry with Mrs Froggatt. I haven't been that furious in years. You see, I haven't had the best past, as I mentioned earlier. I don't want to explain why but trust me when I say that. The only thing I can say is that I know what it's like to not receive any parental love and seeing that mother mistreat her children was all too familiar. I didn't have the upper class upbringing you think I did, so don't be fooled by the flash car, impeccable suits, and posh accent. I wasn't always like this. Because of that, I have accepted I won't ever have a family. I won't have that happy picture of the husband and the children. It won't happen to me. With a past like mine, I don't deserve such a future._

 _Now Mrs Froggatt may not have the husband but she definitely had the children. She has two small human beings that she created, that she should love and care for. I would love to have children. I would do anything to have children. But I know I wouldn't make the best mother and I can't offer them anything anyway. You might understand why one day. And even with those children, she neglected them and left to treat herself. I could never do that. She took them for granted when I definitely would not have. She gambled with the option that her children may or may not be fine by themselves while she was in another country. How unbelievably irresponsible and selfish! I could never do that to a child. It angers me now writing this._

 _I don't know if you have children, Eddie. I'm guessing not. You would make a good father, I can tell, even with your constant moodiness. You'd be the kind of father to take your son to football matches, encouraging him to participate in sports and proudly telling anyone who'd listen about his achievements. You'd be the kind of father who would hold your daughter's hand, endure her make-believe, and buy her anything she wanted so she knew she was loved. I know you would. And that is not a bad thing. Why would it be? You wouldn't leave your children, would you, Eddie? I would like to think not._

 _And then you were back. There was first the issue of your accident. When I was told by Bridget, I immediately phoned Tom, hoping to hear from him. Again, there was that feeling, that new emotion I get. You had managed to hurt yourself trying to save Bolton who had been fooling around enough to fall onto a ledge up a mountain. A little ridiculous to say the least. That's when I got that feeling. You couldn't stand there and do nothing. You had to do something for your pupils, anything, even if it meant risking your own life or health. It is highly endearing. I like that side of you. Very much. And when Tom picked up the phone, he didn't explain. Not then. He left me guessing, telling me you had hurt yourself and I had to trust it wasn't a serious injury. I was panicking until I saw the van park in the playground. I desperately wanted you to be okay._

 _When I saw you with that neck brace, it was probably the best thing I've seen so far whilst working at Waterloo Road. How could I pass on a sight like that? I'm smiling just thinking about it. I guess we'd both had a bad day._

 _Then you were there to calm me when Mrs Froggatt had angered me beyond belief. You were a silent but reassuring presence in the background, something to fall back on. You also were there to stop me. I know I was furious at the time and I may have given you more than one filthy look, but I want to thank you. If you hadn't been there, I wouldn't have stopped shouting. Thank you for grounding me when I needed it. It seems to be becoming a habit between us, doesn't it?_

 _I say all of this and now I know I have come to what I really wanted to write about. When Sally hugged her mother and I looked up at you, I smiled and you smiled back. Simple, really. It sounds so, doesn't it? It didn't feel simple to me. There was a fluttering and, I don't know, there was something inside of me. I can't really name it. Affection, I suppose. I felt affection for you, that's all I can say. I have to admit, despite all of your flaws, there's a certain attractiveness there. You are attractive in a certain kind of way. I don't know how to explain it. With the broad shoulders, sloppy smile, and husky voice, I have to admit you are fascinating. You were as pleased as me to see a happy student and it affected me. You have affected me._

 _Does that sound stupid? I don't know. You probably go home and complain about that bitch of a boss you have if, of course, there is someone to go home to. So far, you haven't mentioned anyone. Even if you complain to a friend or family member, but I can't even assume you talk about me at all. You probably have more interesting things to think and speak about._

 _I think about you a lot. In my other letter, I mentioned it was because I wanted a good working relationship with you. I still want that and I do still think about that a lot, but with more fondness, I would think. I am not really sure how to describe it and I don't think I can, so please take my word for it._

 _Then there was that moment in the office. We shared our first understanding. We both understood what the other wanted out of the school, what we wanted to achieve, and we finally agreed. We finally agreed on our work. It was a break through. A much needed one, I must say. I saw the way you were as excited as me at the thought of new plans. Together, we can do so much for Waterloo Road, and above all, I am finally starting to achieve what I always wanted, to make a change, a difference, and for you to help me. I want you to help me._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Rachel_


	3. Chapter 3

Next bit done :) my main worry is the letter. I don't know how you're going to take it because it covers Rachel's past so... Let's see how it goes

* * *

It was another busy morning. With the new enterprise initiative, their paperwork had increased. Of course, Rachel didn't mind, but the same couldn't be said for Eddie. They had sat together at the round table in her office, sorting through letters that had been sent to the school that week. There was something peaceful about the two of them, side-by-side as they worked in silence. Rachel didn't feel the need to say anything.

Opening a letter, she was pleased to see a cheque enclosed to the school. Reading the sum, she couldn't help but be impressed.

"Wow," she exclaimed, "Local businesses seem to love our enterprise initiative. Look."

She handed the paper for Eddie to see. He whistled lowly, peering up at her. Even with the large sum of money, she could see his hesitation at praising the initiative.

"Enterprise? We've got a school magazine going and not much else."

She snatched the cheque off him, irritated that he needed to be cynical. They had been getting along reasonably well but he occasionally questioned her plans, unable to fully agree on certain issues. Placing the cheque carefully to one side, she sorted through her letters, deliberately looking anywhere but at him.

"There you go again. Looking for the negatives."

Eddie glanced at her doubtfully. Sitting back, he threw his hands in the air. "Ah, you know what I mean. Last week Janeece Bryant was a photographer. Today she's scrabbling round the school field looking for fossils."

Rachel smirked. Sure, Janeece had taken a sudden interest in archaeology, not a subject she had been expected to be interested in; even so, it was a start and at least she was showing enthusiasm.

"So what? She's getting so much out of it."

She stood, hoping to leave the rest of the letters until later. Secretly, she was hoping to spend time conversing with Eddie without having to work. Her attention hadn't moved from him since he had entered the room. As she stared at his hunched figure, appreciating the effort he was putting in, she noticed Grantly enter the room without knocking.

For someone who was known for his outlandish remarks and gruff confidence, he was unnaturally quiet. In fact, it troubled Rachel. He appeared to be a cross between shock and solemnity. She knew what that meant. Something terrible had happened and her easy day had been ruined before it began. Eddie noticed the teacher standing there, frowning as he too tried to guess what the matter was. Grantly finally spoke, gulping audibly.

"You're not going to believe this."

* * *

Rachel knew they were making an unbelievable amount of noise as they walked through the corridor. Nevertheless, it was taking all her will not to run outside. She couldn't believe what she had heard when Grantly explained what had been found in Janeece's archaeological dig. It was not news she had ever expected nor wanted to hear.

They went past Matt's classroom. The sound of banging doors and hurried footsteps caught the students' attention, and Rachel noticed Matt and Steph staring at them as they strode past.

It was deceiving, now Rachel knew of the situation, that it was nice weather outside. She felt queasy at the thought of what she was about to see. Glimpsing at Eddie and Grantly, she knew they were as confused and anxious as her. Grantly led her round the back of the school, the grassy area where she had allowed Janeece to dig. Never in her wildest imagination did she think anything so terrible would happen. She couldn't imagine the students' reaction when they saw it.

The hole was fairly big, large enough for two people to sit in, quite deep too. And then she saw it, protruding out of the side of the dirt. The word 'it' was probably not the right word to use at all. With a lump in her throat, Rachel stared down at the skeleton of a baby, aware of what that could mean. There was silence for a moment, none of the three sure of what to say. Rachel reached up, her fingers rubbing against the base of her neck. She didn't know how to proceed.

"Who would bury a baby on the school playground?" she whispered.

She could hardly speak.

"You haven't been here long, have you?" huffed Grantly.

Even with his usual disapproval, she knew he was as affected as her. Sighing shakily, she clutched at her neck. She glanced at Eddie to gather his reaction but he was staring sadly ahead of him. Rachel knew she was going to have to take control.

"The police are going to have to find out who the mother is. It may well be one of the girls in this school." She was still looking at Eddie who had turned his back from the hole, evidently unable to stomach the sight. "Eddie, can I leave you to tell the staff, please? I'm going to wait here for the police."

He didn't seem to have heard, still staring in front of him.

"Eddie?"

"Yeah. Yeah, course."

She strained to hear him. It was unusual for him to be so quiet. If she had wanted to say anything else, it didn't matter. Grantly and Eddie marched back into the school, neither of them speaking. Rachel watched Eddie until he had gone, knowing there was something bothering him. Once he was inside, she looked back down at the skeleton, nausea rising in her throat.

* * *

Once the police had arrived, they allowed her to visit every classroom. She had wanted to make some issues very clear, knowing the students would be disrupted by the police in school. It may not have been an uncommon sight, but it was for an uncommon reason. Afterwards, she remembered exactly what she had said in every classroom.

"There will almost definitely be a police investigation to find out who the mother is, but I want to make it quite clear, this is not a witch hunt. If, and I know it's a big if, I am talking to the mother of this baby, I want her to know she mustn't be afraid to come forward. Whoever she is, she must be feeling very scared and very alone. I cannot emphasise enough, we are here to help. We are not here to accuse or punish, and if you have any worries, you can always see me, or Mr Lawson, or Miss Haydock, or any member of staff for that matter. Okay?"

As soon as she had finished speaking to every year, she found Eddie waiting for her. He informed her that the police had arrived and a Detective Mellor was waiting outside for them. When they revisited the site, Mellor spotted them. She ducked under the police tape, hardly bothered by the sight she had seen.

"It's hard to tell," she admitted immediately. "It looks like the remains have been there for a while."

Rachel couldn't help but lean across to look, although she felt sick thinking about it.

"Oh, poor little thing," she exhaled. "How do you think it died?"

"We won't know the cause of death until forensics get back with the report."

"Any idea when?" inquired Eddie.

"Soon," was the answer.

Rachel clutched at her neck again, increasingly uneasy.

"If we don't have any luck," Mellor informed them, "we'll have to do DNA sampling. You may find you get press interest."

Eddie nodded in response, displeased at the thought. That was the last thing they wanted and needed.

* * *

Rachel took Mellor into the music room where Steph was with Matt, practising the musical. Considering she was head of pastoral care, Rachel thought Steph should be involved closely with the investigation. Not only did she know the students incredibly well, having worked at Waterloo Road for a number of years, she should be able to show certain sensitivity in the situation. At least, Rachel hoped so. It was a test to Steph to see how well she managed the pressure.

Entering the room, she only had to glance at Matt for him to understand. He allowed the singers to have a break and speak to them while Steph was excused, allowing Rachel the freedom to talk to her. Mellor had to explain to Steph exactly what she wanted for the investigation.

"We don't want to go pointing any fingers," she clarified, "but if you could draw a list of vulnerable girls, anyone that's been pregnant in the past, anyone in care, any child you might suspect that could be a victim of sexual abuse."

Rachel closed her eyes, understanding even more the brevity of the situation. It was not what she wanted to hear when working with children.

"Oh, and can you ask the school health visitor who's had the morning after pill recently?"

"I could give you a list of twenty right now," Steph laughed.

Even as she said it, she didn't seem to find it humorous. She stopped smiling, glancing at Rachel with clear concern. Rachel was too busy worrying about the girls to stop looking at Mellor. The students from Waterloo Road already suffered a bad reputation without being branded as pregnant murderers.

"I do hope you're not going to stigmatise Waterloo Road." She laughed awkwardly, meaning it to sound light hearted. "It, er, it could be anyone around here. Look, the grounds are hardly secure."

Mellor smiled, a little condescendingly. "It could be anyone in Britain but with these kind of crimes…"

"If," Rachel interrupted. "If it is a crime."

She would not allow the detective to make that presumption. Even with a dead baby, Rachel refused to believe in the worst of her pupils. Mellor only smiled again, clearly disagreeing.

"They are usually committed by young girls who don't travel very far to do it."

Rachel was starting to grow annoyed.

"Let's not jump to conclusions about the girls in this school." She looked at Steph. "So if you could help Detective Mellor with the initial inquiry, Steph."

Steph's gaze flickered to Mellor, evidently displeased at having to help her, but when Mellor met her eye, Steph immediately offered a mock salute.

"Yeah, I'm on the case," she grinned.

Mellor smiled awkwardly. "Okay?"

Steph nodded, no apparent understanding of the situation she was in. Rachel left to show Mellor to Steph's office upstairs, while the French teacher was left explaining why she couldn't be of help in the rehearsals.

* * *

After she had left Mellor in pastoral care, she went back to her own office, meeting Eddie outside. He had been waiting for her since talking to the staff. She strode into the antechamber, unable to control her frustration.

"I can hardly find my way around the school and now this."

Bridget ran over when she saw her walk past. "Rachel."

"Yes?"

The secretary looked between Eddie and Rachel. "There's a whole lot of journalists here."

Rachel turned to Eddie in despair, her heel stamping against the carpet.

"Oh, God," she moaned. "Eddie, can you deal with the mess?"

She started to walk back into her office, gesturing her thanks at Bridget. Eddie followed, frustrated as she was.

"Me? It's your job."

Rachel didn't think she had the time to speak to the press. There were more crucial issues, whereas Eddie had a little more time than she did.

"I know, but in this situation, I think it's important the girls have a woman they can talk to and, you know, I'd like to be here for them."

The amount of time she had spent at Waterloo Road, she was unsure if anyone would want to confide in her. She couldn't take that chance either way. Sitting in her chair, she watched as Eddie stuffed his hands in his pockets, a clear sign he was sulking. Looking out of the window, he smirked out of bitterness.

"Oh, yeah, that's right. Because us men are crap at all that sensitive stuff, hey?"

Their only real argument had been on her first day but she was highly aware that they could have another. She knew he had grasped the wrong impression.

"Listen," she demanded, "Today of all days, us two need to work as a team."

Eddie looked at the wall. She could see him physically deflate.

"Yeah, I know." He moved to the door, stopping. "I'm just being an awkward sod."

Hearing him say that, Rachel knew he felt doubted in his abilities to deal with careful situations. Once his back was turned, she couldn't help herself.

"I think you've got a heart of gold."

She kept her gaze on the desk as she said it, losing her confidence in the last second. He had turned around in surprise. With a small smirk, he walked off, missing the smile that had spread across her face.

* * *

An hour later, Rachel received a shout from Bridget; informing her Eddie had finished and would be on his way back up shortly. She practically ran down to the front foyer, unable to contain herself. He wasn't in the best mood. In fact, he was fuming. As they rushed through the corridors, he couldn't prevent the rant that burst from him.

"One of the journalists wanted to photograph the site. I could have slapped him. Obviously they're desperate to find the mother. They'll probably make her a big cash offer for a story and then subtly accuse her of murder."

They rounded the corner, coming face to face with Steph, who looked slightly out of breath.

"Erm, can I have a word? I think we might have found our girl."

Eddie glanced at Rachel. She was too fixed on what Steph was saying to take any notice.

"Who?" he prompted.

"Rhiannon Sedgewick. I've just got a feeling about her in me waters. She's very troubled."

As much as Steph was not always to be trusted, she seemed too agitated. Rachel had to trust her judgment this once.

"Okay. Well, I'll talk to her."

"Yeah, but the thing is when you try to communicate with her, she just clams up."

"Well," interrupted Eddie, "if there's anything in it, we have to talk to the parents."

Rachel nodded her agreement, determined to get something done about the dreadful situation.

"You've got enough to do. I'll just get the numbers off Bridget," Steph offered.

She disappeared with a clatter of her heels up the stairs. It was the first time Rachel had seen her run. Normally she would have worried about Steph taking charge, but she was still concerned with how personally Eddie was taking the situation. She glanced over at him, hoping he shared some of her amusement at the sight of Steph running. He looked extremely uncomfortable, glowering at the floor. Rachel stared at him in the hope she could figure out why. He had been like that all day. Seeing the dead baby had upset him more than anyone else and she wanted to know why.

"Are you okay?" she questioned.

He sighed heavily, looking everywhere but at her. "Yeah, fine."

He didn't sound fine but she thought best not to push it. If he wanted to tell her, he would.

"Oh, Eddie, thank you for dealing with the press."

"It's no problem."

His gaze flickered around, still not looking at her. He walked away without another word. Rachel watched him go, her concern growing further.

* * *

When Detective Mellor entered the office minutes later, the mood had lifted instantly. There was something infectious about her easy confidence and light manner. She had spent her time interviewing any girls that were of suspicion, only to try and find the mother. After some persuasion on Rachel's part, she had recounted her experience with Steph, laughing as she did. Rachel was glad there was someone who hadn't been completely discouraged by the day's predicament. The events affected her less as Mellor took her mind off of the issue.

"I suppose when you've been in a job as long as I have, you get a feeling about people," Mellor said. Both of them shared a knowing smile. "If I said the word crass to you?"

Rachel bit her lip, amused. "Hm, yeah, that just about sums our Steph up, I think."

They both laughed knowingly. Rachel thought about Steph and her managerial role within the school. She still had doubts of her being able to achieve an acceptable standard, yet she was also hoping she would manage to surprise her, prove her wrong. Suddenly, she remembered Steph had wanted to contact the parents of Rhiannon. Of course, she should be dealing with that, not her. She didn't mind leaving it to another member of staff but Steph wasn't known for her sensitivity.

"Oh my God," she gasped, "She's going to be contacting Rhiannon's parents. Erm, can you just give me a minute?"

As soon as Mellor had nodded, Rachel turned to leave the office, hoping to get the information from the secretary's files. She almost bumped into the woman in question in the doorway, her arm around Maxine. Maxine made no eye contact, staring resolutely at the dirty carpet. Guessing what was about to happen, Rachel exhaled heavily. She didn't want to even glance at Maxine until it had been confirmed.

"Ehm, I think I got the wrong girl," muttered Steph.

Rachel ran her hand through her hair, aware she had wanted nothing more than to find the girl, yet sympathetic that she was practically forcing her to relive her experience. Turning to Bridget, she knew Eddie should be involved.

"Bridget, can you get Mr Lawson up here, please?"

Rachel knew Maxine was going to be questioned, whether she wanted to be or not. She didn't want to pressure her into anything she didn't want to do.

Minutes later, she was sat on the office sofas next to Mellor, while Steph and Maxine sat on the other side. Eddie had sat on the edge of the desk, as far away as possible. Maxine was recounting her experience to them and Rachel was finding it hard to remain impartial. It turned out Maxine had been pregnant while she had been taking drugs, a phase in her life before Steph adopted her. Because of her heavy doses, the baby hadn't survived. She had a still birth while looking for Janeece who was at school. Rachel felt a small recognition of the pain the girl went through, an uncomfortable reminder of her own past.

"I wanted it to be mine so much." Maxine took a sharp intake of breath. "I've never had anything of my own, you know. That I could take care of…"

She trailed off, unable to continue. Rachel hated seeing someone in an inconsolable state, itching to comfort her but knowing she wouldn't help.

"Maxine, you've been very brave," she simpered. Maxine peered up at Rachel, her face red from crying. Rachel was almost too scared to ask what she needed to. "If you can cope with it, I want you to be even more brave." Maxine's eyes widened. "I think that the girls in this school need to know your story."

Everyone was staring at her, waiting for her reply. Maxine shook her head, her hands flying in the air to fall quickly into her lap.

"Miss, I-I can't. It's too…"

"You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, Maxine," she affirmed.

Rachel almost wished someone had told her that when she was younger. Maxine nodded, bursting into tears again. Her head hung low, almost in her lap, so nobody could see her face. Steph rubbed her back; desperate to relieve the pain Maxine was feeling.

"Max," she breathed, "You don't want anyone else to go through what you did, do you?"

Maxine shook her head. Abruptly, Eddie stood up, storming from the room without any form of excuse. Rachel had been waiting for him to react in some way. She knew he had been bothered all day and now she was determined to know why, whether he wanted to admit it or not. She reasoned if it meant his professionalism was in question, she had a right to know. Mostly, she wanted to make sure he was okay.

Glancing between Steph and Detective Mellor, she stood. "Excuse me."

He was standing in the corridor, hands on his head as he stared out of the window. It was evident how agitated he was, whatever the reason. She stepped out of the anti-chamber, closing the door behind her. Checking there was nobody else around, she stepped forward.

"Hey," she spoke, softly. He turned around, his expression tortured. Rachel had never seen him like that and she never wanted to again. "What's up?"

"Oh." He breathed out, trying to think of what to say. "I just can't cope with this."

She walked towards him, concerned. "Really? Why?"

"It's nothing really."

He started to walk away, probably back to his classroom. Rachel panicked, wanting him to confide in her.

"No, wait a minute," she called, "What?"

For the first time since he had entered the office, he looked her in the eye. "Just reminds me how much I miss my son."

She couldn't hide her shock. He saw it plainly as she struggled to say something. "Eddie…"

"I've got a report to write, Rachel."

He swung the door open, disappearing down the corridor before she could think of calling him back. The revelation was hard to register. She reached out her hand to lean on the balcony but thought better of it, returning to her office. As soon as Maxine saw her, she started questioning her.

"Am I going to get into trouble, miss?"

Rachel started, her mind still on Eddie. "What for?"

Mellor interrupted, hoping to sooth her worries. "The police are here to help, Maxine. You can always talk to one of us. No one is going to accuse you of being a criminal when you're not."

Steph stood up. She placed her hand on Maxine's arm, helping her stand. "Come on."

When she passed Rachel, she glanced her way.

"I'll see you later, Steph," she said lowly.

Steph nodded back, beckoning her daughter out of the office. Rachel touched Maxine's arm in support as she went past and the girl smiled in thanks. Once they were gone, Rachel couldn't help sighing heavily. She had wanted a fairly quiet day.

* * *

Rachel had spent the whole hour deciding whether she should go find Eddie. He would most likely be in his classroom, yet some part of her argued he needed that time alone. All day he had been miserable, even more so than usual. Once the period was nearly over, Eddie entered her office, knocking on the door. Rachel sprang up immediately, glad to see him. He handed her a piece of paper, a petition from what she could see.

"One of the worst cases of bullying I have ever come across."

Rachel glanced at it briefly, noting it was a petition to open the archaeological dig again. It was seemingly written by Karla Bentham, a girl who had been helping Janeece that morning and a pupil who had Asperger's Syndrome. In big writing, Eddie had written Aleesha Dillon and Danielle Harker's names, two bright pupils who had evidently taken a chance at mocking a disabled student. Everyone would be sickened by the petition, Rachel realised, and the two girls had persuaded Karla to do it to provoke a reaction. Rachel knew Eddie had already handled it; else he would have expanded on the situation.

"Look, can we talk?"

He was already leaving the office. When she spoke, he hardly turned, pointing his finger.

"I may have gone over the top a bit," he admitted. "What if we actually have to cancel the musical?"

Aleesha was the leading lady in the upcoming musical. Eddie's punishment was obviously to take her out of it, meaning there was nobody to fill her place. Rachel guessed he had taken Danielle off of the school committee too. A just punishment. He seemed concerned by what he had done, seeking some assurance.

"Er, well, if it gets the message through, good. Um…"

He nodded furiously, turning again.

"Right thanks." He started to walk out. "Thanks for your support in that. Appreciate it."

She could tell he was making himself busy on purpose. Even more frustrating, he was rushing around so she couldn't get a word in edgeways.

"Eddie," she snapped. He stopped walking. She spoke softer, knowing it was a sensitive subject. "Erm, I didn't know you were a father."

She was quite disappointed he had never mentioned that he had children. She'd always assumed he wasn't a father. Eddie seemed like the kind of man who would be proud of having a son, boasting about him all the time.

"I didn't tell you," he reasoned. "How could you know?"

Rachel was reminded she had no right to know about his private life, somehow disappointing her. They weren't that close.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

He looked at the floor, his hunched shoulders falling.

"No, I'm sorry," he apologised, closing the door. There was silence for a moment. She let him say what he had to, when he wanted. "Truth is, I'm the father of twins. Only one died of cot death."

Rachel glanced down, unable to meet his eye. No wonder he hadn't wanted to deal with the dead baby, she realised. Listening to Maxine must have brought back all sorts of unwanted feelings, much like her.

"Oh, God," she muttered.

He walked to the sofa, sitting down while his hands rubbed against his jeans. "Sudden infant death syndrome, SIDS. Stupid name."

She joined him, their knees brushing together as she sat.

"I couldn't imagine anything more devastating," she sympathised. As she watched his reaction, Rachel was finding it hard to remain professional. If she could have, she would have reached across to touch him.

"We did everything right. Put him to bed one night and the next morning… Alison couldn't handle it. She blamed herself. She blamed me. Then she got herself a new boyfriend."

Rachel felt her heart breaking for him. Part of her was annoyed with his ex-wife for abandoning him like that, but she was also aware the woman had suffered a great loss. There was no room to judge her.

"That sounds like a way of coping to me," she excused.

"Well, whatever it was, I was barred. Whenever I went round, there was a massive row. She said it's not good for our son. I just-I just wanted to see him. Look."

He fumbled in his blazer pocket until he pulled out a small photo of him holding a baby. She took it from him, looking closer. Seeing Eddie with the baby endeared her more than she'd care to admit.

"It's Michael," he told her.

"Oh." She smiled widely, enjoying the image of a much different Eddie than she was used to.

"Look." He handed her a picture of another baby, his chubby face beaming into the camera. "That was Stephen."

She gave a small smile, her mouth down turning quickly. He was gorgeous and so was Michael. From the way he spoke softly, she could tell Eddie loved them both very much, considering he didn't see Michael often.

"And how old is Michael now?"

He grinned, answering immediately. "Three and a half."

She beamed, imaging a mini Eddie as she scanned the photos. Rachel never liked to share personal details. In fact, she never revealed anything personal, especially not to someone she hardly knew. Somehow, Eddie had that feeling about him that suggested he could be confided in without judging.

"You know, Eddie, I may sound like an amateur psychologist but, erm, one thing I do understand is how important it is for a child to feel loved by their parents." She should have stopped there but she didn't. She couldn't help herself. "You see, I never felt that and it still hurts after all this time."

He realised what she was doing, giving her a comforting smile. His mouth opened as if he were about to say something when someone knocked on the door. They stood up hurriedly, Rachel quickly passing the photos back to Eddie so the person didn't see. Eddie stuffed them back into his pocket, flashing a panicked glance at her. Steph entered, unaware of what had passed between the two.

"Hi, sorry to interrupt but we know who the dad is. Lewis Seddon. I don't think she wants to tell him myself. She's terrified of what his reaction will be. I mean, do you think he needs to know?"

"Of course he does," Eddie exclaimed.

Steph was evidently distressed by that. Rachel knew she was hinting she didn't want to tell him. Luckily, Steph was frank enough to admit it.

"Well, I don't want to tell him. He's… Well, we all know what Seddon's like."

Rachel didn't. She didn't know him well enough. Lewis Seddon worked in the kitchens at Waterloo Road, having previously been a student. From what she had heard, he had been far from the model student. He had been known as aggressive and even dealing drugs at some point. Last year, she was aware that his cousin had been the man who had fatally stabbed Izzie Redpath, Chlo and Mika's mother. After proving that he had changed, Seddon had been given a job by the previous Head, Jack Rimmer. So, as much as Rachel had not seen that side of Seddon, she had most certainly heard of it.

Eddie sighed, knowing he was being asked to talk to Seddon. Rachel knew he didn't want to either.

"Yeah," she sniffed. "It's amazing what we discover about other people's capabilities." She was annoyed with Steph for not doing her job. The bell rang loudly, signalling a short break. "Are you volunteering, Eddie?"

"Yeah."

He walked out, glaring at Steph as he did. Steph looked straight at Rachel, shrugging apologetically.

* * *

Rachel had called the older students to an assembly so they could hear what Maxine had to say. It was vital to her that they learnt from this. Maxine stood on the stage, placed in the middle of a harsh light so everyone could see her. Rachel watched her with pity, knowing she was asking a great favour. Beside her, Steph and Eddie were sat near the side of the stage.

Maxine had been speaking for a while and from everything, Rachel was more satisfied seeing the shocked faces of the students. As much as it was a delicate subject, it was also a lesson that needed to be learned. She was sure they could take something from Maxine's experience.

"I know we learn stuff in PSHE about taking precautions, like, with your body and that, but it doesn't always feel real. You just think I'll be alright, it happens to other girls." Maxine wiped her face with her hand, looking up at the ceiling. "All I had to do was tell someone. A teacher or a doctor or some'et, but I kept it to myself, and because of that m-maybe my baby died for nothing."

She almost burst into tears. Rachel stood, knowing she needn't say anymore. Maxine took the hint, taking a seat in Rachel's chair.

"Today has been a difficult day for everyone," she announced, studying the array of faces. "What it's highlighted for me is the need we have to provide better sex education for the pupils in this school. I don't want other girls to go through what Maxine did. So, at the end of today you'll receive a letter informing the people who look after you that I will be liaising with the NHS to set up a sexual health clinic at Waterloo Road."

She could see already it was met with mixed reviews. Steph seemed to be nodding, perhaps the first time the ditzy blonde had agreed with the headmistress. Jasmine, who had been teaching that class, did not look entirely happy at the prospect. The bell rang, preventing Rachel from continuing.

"Okay, you can go."

* * *

On the way from the assembly, Eddie and Rachel caught sight of Matt staring forlornly at a poster for the school musical, plastered near the front doors so everyone could see. It was the end of the school day and Matt had waited to scribble Aleesha's name from the poster, a defining black hole where her name had been. When he saw them, he was obviously not going to back down.

"Look, I know what she did was wrong, okay? But I honestly don't think she understood the seriousness of what she was doing."

Eddie narrowed his eyes; annoyed his judgement had been questioned.

"She deliberately made a laughing stock out of a vulnerable pupil," he argued.

"Look, I'm not defending her but does it have to be this way?"

He was growing extremely agitated and Rachel was slightly concerned about his attitude toward the subject, more specifically his questioning of their judgement. Eddie only scoffed in response.

"We can't allow her to continue in a project that she enjoys and that makes her the centre of attention. What message does that give to the rest of the school?"

"Well, what kind of message does it give to the kids who worked hard on the show?" reasoned Matt. "Not to mention me and Steph."

Eddie scoffed again. Rachel reached out to touch Matt's arm, hoping to diffuse the situation.

"Matt," she sighed. "Matt, I know. Parkside Story is really important to this school. It's just, right now; it's not my number one priority."

"Fine." He started scribbling out the rest of the poster in his anger.

"Surely you must have understudies," Eddie insisted.

"Yep, there's…" He glanced up at the ceiling to think. "Janeece. Great, till she opens her mouth."

"How about asking Mika to reconsider?" suggested Rachel.

Matt shook his head, speechless. That didn't seem to be an option to him. They watched him walk away in disbelief. Rachel felt her body deflate, knowing she should pay more attention to the musical than she previously had. She turned to Eddie, who seemed as puzzled as her.

"I am not going to let this show die. After the hard sell I've done to the board."

They said nothing more on the subject, walking back upstairs.

* * *

Eddie had left halfway to her office, diverting to his own classroom. Rachel had thought a lot about the events of the day, and despite knowing he would disagree, she felt she had to do something. After a few moments in her office, Rachel decided to visit him, considering there was nothing else left to do. She was climbing the stairs near his classroom when she noticed Tom on the way down.

"Tom," she called. She waited until they had met halfway. "Mika. Do you know where she is in her head right now? You know, with all her hassles with Brett?"  
He took a moment to think. "I think she's getting over him slowly."

"Oh, good. Can you have a talk with her about the musical?"

"Starring with Aspinall?" Tom laughed, knowing the impossibility. "I doubt it."

"She's our only option so…"

He shrugged, knowing she wouldn't ask unless she was desperate. "Well, I could try, I suppose."

"I need you to succeed, Tom," she asserted. "Even if you have to pay her, anything. Yeah?"

They shared a small laugh before walking away.

"Good night," he said.

"See you."

* * *

Eddie was packing away folders of work and any loose papers when she entered his classroom. Rachel was glad to have caught him before he had left. She placed a small piece of paper on the desk, secretly pleased with herself.

"That's your ex-wife's number," she told him.

"I know it." He glanced down at the paper with irritation. "So what?"

"One little call won't hurt."  
He sighed, looking her in the eye. "I don't want you interfering in my life, Rachel."

She tut-tutted, crossing her arms. "I've seen so much misery today and you've got a child."  
"Yeah, okay," he muttered. She could tell she had upset him. "But there's the added problem of my ex-wife. You don't know her."  
She watched him, determined that he would agree. Her chest heaved as she thought of how to do that. Leaning close to him, she tried to sound as pleasant as possible.

"Eddie?" she smiled, "Do you fancy a drink?"

He leant down on the desk, a smile on his face. "Only if it's mind numbingly alcoholic."

She was simply glad he had accepted.

"You're on."

They both grabbed their work. Eddie walked to the door first, allowing Rachel to quickly put the paper into her pocket without him noticing. He would only discard it if he found it later. She turned around to find he had opened the door for her, waiting for her to go through first.

"Thank you, Eddie," she beamed.

* * *

"I think it's the bus home for me."

She tried to ignore the other two empty glasses in front of her. Eddie only laughed in response. They had been at the pub for almost two hours and she was surprised at how easy their conversation had been. Rachel was pleased he had sat beside her, his arm resting on the back of her chair. She didn't usually enjoy such close contact with someone she hadn't known long, yet she couldn't bring herself to care, not with Eddie.

"Although," she continued, "this was essential, I think, after the day we've had today." She put the glass down. "It's good to talk."

"To you, yeah," he agreed.

It surprised and pleased her to hear him say that. She looked him up and down, subtly, she hoped. After his two pints of beer, she was hoping he would be more averse to talking about Michael and Alison.

"But not to your ex-wife."

"Ex is the word," he grunted. "And believe me, I'm very happy about that."

"Yeah but you're not happy without your son, are you?" She watched him roll his eyes, as he realised what she was doing. "Wouldn't you be much happier with seeing Michael? I think you're letting the pain you feel push people out."

"I've said all I'm going to say on the subject."

She ground her teeth, annoyed he wasn't cooperating.

"The last thing I need right now, Rachel, is for you to point out my faults."

That was the last thing she was doing. She didn't see it as his fault but a simple error of judgement on both sides.

"Oh, just call her," she cried, "What harm will it do?"

Eddie rolled his eyes again, looking away from her. She leant towards him. "Huh?"

She stared at him longingly, waiting him to form some sort of answer. He turned back to her a few seconds later, reaching for his drink.

"Any more of this and we're going to end up falling out."

He finished his pint in one swig. She glanced briefly at his throat, the way it moved when he drank, and then smiled, deciding it was best to remain on pleasant terms with him.

Eddie placed the glass onto a coaster. "Night, Rachel."

"Night, night."

She waited until he had gone through the door, rummaging in her pocket for the slip of paper. Unfolding it, she dialled the number into her phone. As the line connected and she heard a questioning voice, she replied.

"Hi? Erm, is that Alison Lawson?"

* * *

 _12_ _th_ _December 2007_

 _Dear Eddie,_

 _Please don't be angry with me. I did phone her, despite your evident want not to. She wasn't pleased with me, especially my so called pathetic reasons for phoning. However, even with all her protests, I managed to convince her to contact me again. I hope you can forgive me. After everything today, I only wanted to make things better. I want you to be happy._

 _The day had started so perfectly, you wouldn't have thought anything were to go wrong. You and me sitting together, working together. I am glad; out of everything that has occurred that we can finally flourish in a professional capacity. You, of course, are still grumpy. There simply is no other word for it and that was evident before Grantly delivered the news. With all of the new schemes, I wish you'd place some trust in me. The enterprise initiative is being met with outstanding reviews, although you still somehow manage to find an aspect to complain about. Saying that, I'm used to it now. At least you apologise in your own way, explaining why you think so and allowing me to justify it. This is a new part of our working relationship since your accident. I knew something had changed._

 _Then Grantly ruined the peaceful routine with a statement that shocked me to my very core. 'A baby has been found buried in the school grounds by Janeece and Karla.' In a sick sense, I thought it was a joke. The situation isn't one you come across frequently, is it? Or even at all. Then there was the issue of how to deal with such a situation. I knew the girls would be placed under the spotlight, scrutinised for their personal lives. That was something I had issue with. A poor girl had lost her baby and she was being judged for it. Seeing the skeleton with my own eyes made me feel nauseated, to say the least. As it brought back memories with you, it brought back some of my own._

 _When I asked who would bury a baby on school grounds, and Grantly replied with: 'You haven't been here very long, have you?', it made me realise what I had committed myself to. This school was in need of more help than I had originally anticipated. If this occurrence did not shock people as it had me, then there is something not quite right._

 _Of course, Steph's professionalism was called into question today. On my first day, you accused me of questioning the teacher's abilities and who would be under close surveillance. You even excused Steph Haydock. Although you did, I can tell you are rarely impressed by her either. It isn't a question of what she'd do for the kids because I know she'd do anything. The real issue is her ability to teach and to provide a steady managerial role, particularly in pastoral care. Firstly, she made a judgement involving Rhiannon Sedgewick. It is easy to make a mistake, which is what Steph did but she did not handle the situation well. I was hesitant to give her responsibility in terms of speaking to Rhiannon and her parents if need be. Then there was her reluctance to speak to Lewis Seddon. Understandably, there is a personal issue there, as Maxine is her daughter and she and Lewis have a relationship. Yet, Steph can't keep running to us every time she doesn't feel like doing anything. I've had my eye on her since I arrived. Considering recent events, I'm considering perhaps giving the role of pastoral care to someone else. I'd like to think you'd agree with me but in reality, you'd probably only resist the idea. Yet, after today, I should think my decision is the right one._

 _We have been working well recently, haven't we? I'd been wishing for this for a long time now and I'm glad we've finally put our differences aside. You see, I meant what I said earlier. You really do have a heart of gold, Eddie. I mean that wholeheartedly. I know you doubted me to begin with when I asked you to deal with the press. You probably thought I didn't believe in your ability to handle sensitive discussions with the children, but that's far from the truth. In a way, I was almost handing it to you because I didn't want to do it and I knew you could. Rather bad of me, I know. Also, you've proven how much you care for the school and that's enough for me._

 _That was reinforced afterwards when you came back from the press interviews. You were fuming about one thing or another, yet what I noticed was that you defended the mother, saying you didn't believe she had killed the baby. That meant a lot to me, actually. All day I had been opposing presumptuous beliefs that had risen from the finding. Of course, I had believed from the beginning that the mother was innocent. Innocent until proven guilty. Everyone else seemed to demonise her, even the teachers. And you didn't. That meant more to me than you know. I was so tired of having to correct people when they spoke of the 'crime'. How can they talk about the pupils in that manner? You were the only one who didn't. So, thank you._

 _I had known since we saw the baby that something was wrong. It was evident immediately. At first, I thought you were just distressed at what was found, and in some ways you were, but it was more than that. I know I pushed you today and I do apologise. I wanted to know what the matter was. Of course, I didn't find out until you told me you had a son. I never knew you had children. In my last letter I did mention the fact that you would make a great father. Even if you don't see Michael often, I know that's true. I could see it when you spoke about him._

 _First of all, I would like to give my sincerest apologies about what happened between you and Alison, and what happened to Stephen. That must have been heart-breaking for you. And for Michael to lose a twin, never knowing what that was like. It truly is devastating. I'm sorry, Eddie, that someone as great as you had to go through a time like that. You don't deserve it. Obviously, nobody does but I want you to know how sorry I am. When you confided in me, I was pleased you trusted me enough to do so. Evidently, it isn't information you share with everyone, else it would have been common knowledge. Thank you for that. It meant more than you'll ever know._

 _I confided in you too. Not as much and not in detail, but I admitted something I haven't admitted to anyone else in a long time. My parents didn't love me. It wasn't the occasional nagging or anything else parents normally do. I don't say that like a child does when their parents don't give them what they want. My parents really did not love me. We weren't the wealthiest family. Well, to say that would be an understatement. We were living in abject poverty. This is where I admitted before that I hadn't had the best upbringing, not like the one everyone imagines I had. I hide it well, don't I?_

 _My mother had me illegitimately. That didn't bode well with my religious grandparents and my mother stuck with my father anyway. He was a lazy drunk. Not the best parental figure for a young child. They had another child soon after. There's something you don't know about me. I have a sister. Safe to say, I haven't seen her in a while. In that time, both of my parents weren't interested in their children. I fed Melissa at night, I changed her nappy, and I sat with her and comforted her when our parents were screaming at each other. Eventually, my mother got bored and left. She didn't leave a note. She didn't say goodbye. She simply left._

 _When I was in my twenties, I received a message from an aunt saying she knew where my mother was and she wanted to see Melissa and I. We went, naturally, out of curiosity. I wanted to see what my mother had become. She was a bitter, old thing, much like I remembered; apart from she had aged terribly. When Melissa had offered to make a drink, leaving us alone, my mother had confessed how she regretted giving birth to me. I had changed my name since then but she still called me by my birth name. "I only kept you to spite my parents. I thought your father would have loved me more but he didn't. I should have aborted you when I had the chance." Now, you can see why I wasn't thrilled to hear that. I'm sure your mother said nothing of the kind. But mine did and when Melissa returned, she stroked her hair and told her she was proud of what Melissa had become. Not me, a teacher, but Melissa who happened to take after her. She was a shallow, inconsistent thing, Melissa. I can't hate her, however, she's my sister, and she still stuck by my side when I needed her._

 _Then there was my father. He was hardly ever around after mother left. He came home frequently drunk. A habit he picked up was to drag me from my room after he had arrived from the pub, beating me. I had never any suspicions that he had beat my mother while she was at home but once she had left, I had an inkling she hadn't left over just arguments. Never did I let him near Melissa. That was inconceivable. He died of cancer when I was sixteen. I know I should have felt grieved for him to die so suddenly and painfully, but I didn't. I was unbelievably relieved._

 _I'm not entirely bitter, don't get me wrong. As much as it may confuse you to hear me say this but I feel nothing towards my parents. Not sadness, anger, or even bitterness, just a simple absence of feeling. And if I may confess one last thing to you, I too have lost a child. Not as heart-breaking as yours. At least, I don't think so._

 _When I was in my late teens, I had done a lot of terrible things. Stemming from one of those incidents was an accidental pregnancy. So, in some ways, perhaps I was like my mother. Now, I had no idea who the father was and I wasn't going to find out. I didn't tell anyone. I was too scared to. I must have been a few months pregnant when I mentioned it to my 'boyfriend'. Let's say he wasn't pleased. He was aggressive too. To think I had escaped one abuser to fall right into the arms of another. He showed me just how much he was angry and by the end of it, I was in agony. A short while later, there was blood everywhere and I was in immense pain. Turned out, I never had to make the choice of having the baby or not. I had a miscarriage. So, I don't particularly have an emotional connection to my child as you might have done. I never felt it kick or turn or anything like that. In fact, I recall it with hardly any emotion. It was a part of my life I refuse to acknowledge and therefore, I don't believe it was me. It was probably a sign, a warning that it should have happened that way, that I shouldn't be a mother. I couldn't have given the child anything anyway. I didn't have anything for it. Not even love._

 _So, now you know. I mean it when I say my parents didn't care, which is why I'm so adamant for you to see Michael. You are not a drunk, or runaway, or the least bit aggressive, but childhood impressions can last a lifetime. I'm not saying you're a terrible father because I can see you love Michael very much. So, what I want you to understand is that your absence, whether long or short, will make an impression on Michael. I want you to be in Michael's life as much as possible, to savour those moments. Before you know it, he will have grown into a man and those moments cannot be reversed. Please consider this._

 _That was why I phoned Alison. Frankly, I was a little jealous when you mentioned her. I know it is wrong of me but I was glad to hear she was an ex and quite simply staying that way. Not knowing you were a father, I ruled out any possibility that you had ever been married. Hearing you had, I didn't like that. It is wrong to presume that at this point in our lives, neither would be in a serious relationship. I mean, at our age, of course we have. But something inside of me was struggling to come to terms with the idea you'd been married and I don't understand why. I know I feel something for you, that much is obvious to me now. Still, I'm finding it hard to accept that I'm jealous. Am I? I honestly don't know. Even if I am, I want you to sort things out with her. I want you to see Michael._

 _I know I'm not speaking to the real Eddie and I'm glad not to be. If you knew the truth, you would probably be disgusted by me and that is not what I want. Please don't judge me. Either way, this letter was meant to explain why I want you to see Michael. It doesn't seem to come across that way but that's what it is._

 _Yours sincerely,_

 _Rachel x_


	4. Chapter 4

Hey, sorry about taking so long. This has been sitting here since I wrote the last one but I haven't really had time to upload it. I was on holiday for three weeks, working every day for two, and then I've just come back off a camping trip! So, yeah, sorry about that.

This is the same as the others but I wanted to round it up before I posted something different. The next chapter will be from Phil's perspective, and for the person who asked, I will eventually get round to Eddie's. There will be more from him much later on and even a letter in response to hers, so hang on there.

Anyway, I don't hope to cover absolutely everything and as it gets further into their relationship, I want to skip things and add some parts of my own. This will probably be more towards series 4, maybe. So, here it is!

* * *

The click of her heels echoed across the corridor as she rounded to the staircase by her office. Rachel gripped the handle of her briefcase tighter, distracted by what lay ahead. If she had to admit it, she was tired. Her night had been spent staring at her laptop screen. The bid meant a lot to her and she couldn't afford to lose. A lot rested on the promises she had made.

Halfway up the stairs, she heard the sound of steps behind her, noticing Eddie shortly behind her. It was unlike him to be there so early. Slowing down, she waited for him so they could walk together. Part of her wanted his reassuring presence. He was always so sure of himself, a trait she had never quite possessed.

"Morning," he grumbled.

From the way he was dressed, she was worried he had forgotten about their conference with the local businessmen. She emitted a light sigh.

"Please don't tell me you've forgotten."

He frowned. "Erm, no. We're pitching for Rochdale's business and enterprise centre. Right back to the DFES, which is why I'm out of my bed an hour earlier than normal."

Glancing at his attire, she felt her brow crease. Rachel had trouble believing he was going to wear his usual clothes for a business meeting. She had warned him on several occasions of the informal nature of his clothing, yet he always chose to ignore her. The crumpled jeans, untucked shirt, and grey blazer. Humming in annoyance, she looked over her shoulder at him.

"Well, you could have put a tie on or something."

Eddie rolled his eyes as they reached the top of the stairs, his pace getting faster.

"Oh, well, if that's what's going to swing it then maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all."

She ignored him, opening the door to the office. They both nodded respectively to Bridget as they walked past, closing the door behind them. All Rachel wanted to do was work, heading straight for her desk.

"Okay," she declared, "Shall we have a go then at this presentation?" She looked at his small briefcase. "Hey, where's your stuff?"

He tapped the side of his head with a smug smile.

"Oh, come on!"

"Calm down," he laughed. "I know what I'm going to say. I want it to come out naturally." He watched as she sat down, dissatisfied. "You know, as if I mean it."

"Well, I've added a bit through my section." She opened her laptop, tapping quickly on the keyboard to show him. "Vocational learning entitlement for all pupils." He shrugged, looking out of the window. She took it as an opportunity to check whether he had spoken to Alison since she'd last asked. "Erm, I take it you haven't spoken to your ex-wife yet."

He groaned, rolling his eyes.

"Shouldn't you?" she prompted.

"Haven't I said enough about that?" His temper was beginning to rise. "Look, are you worried about this presentation or not?"

He walked around the desk to see her PowerPoint. She scratched her neck, unsure of whether to say anything again or not. From the way he was staring determinedly at her work, she decided not to.

* * *

The office clock signalled ten minutes before the morning bell rang, signalling the beginning of school, and they were still standing at her desk. She should have been in briefing but she had already sent a small list of notes to Tom. Instead, she was still reading through her presentation with Eddie. He squinted down at the small screen, his hands in his pockets to show how little the presentation affected him.

"You don't know how much it will mean to the children of this school so we're begging you to consider…"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," he blurted. "Hang up a minute. Begging?" He straightened as she stared up at him, confused at his problem. "You trying to make us look like a couple of pillocks?"

"There's nothing wrong with a bit of sucking up if it works."

"No, but there is such a thing as trying too hard." He walked out of the office, hands still in his pockets. His voice could be heard through the antechamber. "Begging…"

She watched him go with a shake of his head, confused at his reaction. Although she thought there was nothing wrong with her wording, she still deleted that part. He always knew how to make her question what she did.

* * *

Rachel was starting to wonder where he had gone to. It was half an hour after the beginning of school. He hadn't been in the staffroom and he was usually there in her office afterwards, complaining about one thing or another. Trusting his judgement to be late, she decided to check her make-up in her compact mirror. As she finished, she noticed Eddie walk in.

"Sorry, I had to nip out for something."

She glanced over at him, biting her lip as she observed his clothes. He had changed his jeans to trousers, boots to shoes, his shirt was tucked in, and he had a tie on. A small laugh escaped her. Eddie growled, throwing his hands in the air.

"Oh, it's a one off, okay?" he told her, grabbing his tie and tugging on it.

Snapping her mirror shut, she left it on her desk to walk over to him. "And I appreciate it. I mean, come here."

She chuckled lightly as she readjusted his tie. His back straightened, his neck stretching to allow her to tighten and fidget with his tie. The gesture felt entirely natural. Rachel tried to ignore the way their skin brushed lightly together when her fingers grazed his neck. Bridget appeared at the door, knocking lightly.

"Rachel, your guests are here."

"Oh, thanks."

She was a little disappointed at being interrupted, finishing with the knot. Eddie lowered his hands to tug on the front of his blazer before resting them on hers for a minute. His fingers curled around her wrists.

"Ready?" he checked.

"I'm as ready as I'll ever be."

He squeezed her hands a little but before she could hold onto him, he had let go. They walked out of the office, Eddie allowing her to go first. He raised his eyebrows and smirked as he saw the small group walking up the stairs. Rachel was aware he already knew Nigel, who was the chair of governors. Rachel hadn't had the satisfaction of meeting him yet. She recognised him, however, leading the way with the visitors from DFES behind him.

"Hello." She smiled widely, despite being incredibly nervous. This was something she should be used to by now.

"Hello," grinned one of the men. "Oliver Little from the DFES."

He shook Eddie's hand but not hers. Frowning in annoyance, she tried to think nothing of it.

"Eddie Lawson, deputy head," said Eddie.

"And we all know Nigel, our chair of governors," Rachel was unable to look him in the eye. "Shall we go through to the boardroom?"

Oliver offered a positive response. With his encouragement, a look of genuine kindness that seemed to radiate from him, Rachel stepped in front of the small group to lead them to the meeting room. A room that was actually a converted classroom for the day. She was aware that Eddie had lingered, having a quiet word with Nigel. It was highly probable that he was schmoozing but that didn't stop her need for him to be by her side, trying to remain confident. What did she do before she knew him?

* * *

"I believe passionately that a business and enterprise status will allow us to innovate in a way that would suit the pupils, the school and the community. And with the avid facility of a purpose built training centre…" She turned briefly to glance at the model, causing them all to look. She was always confident when it came to this, fighting for something she believed in. "We envisage being able to provide vocational skills, and equip the children with tools for lifelong learning. The impact would be immediate. No long term promises that take generations to pay off."

"Very impressive," Oliver approved.

She glanced at Eddie, who smiled in encouragement. His approval was palpable and she bit her lip to prevent a smirk that threatened the appear. It meant a lot to her. He stood, knowing she had finished, and brushed past her.

"Thank you," she concluded, meeting their eye individually.

She sat down in Eddie's chair, worried but still confident in his speech. Although he hadn't written it down, she knew he was a natural charmer when it came to the school. She was confident he'd be able to sell it.

"We've already put in place a number of work experience initiatives and business start-up exercises, which have been embraced enthusiastically by both the pupils and the local community…"

They were interrupted by a timid knock on the door from Bridget, who entered with hesitation. Rachel spun in her chair, irked that her secretary had bothered to intrude on the meeting. She had been told specifically beforehand that there should be no interventions. Bridget seemed to sense that, glancing down at Rachel to check her reaction before addressing Eddie.

"Mr Lawson, there is someone here to see you."

"Bridget, I thought I said absolutely no interruptions," snapped Rachel.

With her nostrils flaring, Bridget visibly gulped. She looked back at Eddie.

"O-only, it's your wife."

Eddie's shoulders slumped, glancing around the room in confusion, his gaze coming to rest on Rachel. He seemed to have an inkling as to why his wife would be there, but said nothing. Rachel wished she could shrink from his accusing stare.

"Erm, excuse me."

He left without a second glance. Rachel couldn't help the panic she felt when she saw him stride down the corridor. She stood up quickly, thinking desperately of something to say.

"As Eddie was saying…" She stood there dumbfounded for a moment.

"Enthusiasm from both the pupils and the local community," Oliver prompted.

The edge of her lips twitched upwards in an attempt to smile, her nerves returning at full-force. She clasped her hands together to stop them from shaking.

"Thank you, yes. That was it."

Cursing Eddie for not hinting at what he wanted to say, she knew she had been hasty in trusting he would be fine. As she opened her mouth to speak, she heard Eddie's shout from the corridor.

"We…"

"You can't leave him here!"

Everyone turned to look at the door, astonished at the fury of his voice. Rachel closed her eyes, realising what she'd done. This could turn into a disaster. Turning back to the businessmen, she continued.

"We have set up some very specific…"

"This is stupid. Alison, come back."

"Set in most… I'm sorry. Could you just bear with me a minute?"

She rushed outside, gasping for air to calm her nerves. Making sure the door was closed, she practically ran down to the end of the corridor where Eddie was still shouting.

"Alison, why are you doing this?"

Alison seemed to have gone when Rachel arrived. Eddie was holding a young boy in his arms; one Rachel had to admit was unbelievably adorable. She flashed a smile at him before Eddie turned around, noticing her. His arm flailed in the air as he gestured in the general direction Alison had left.

"She's left him with me!" he cried in disbelief.

Rachel didn't want to upset him even more but they had businessmen to please. "Hey, listen, we've got to get on with that presentation. I'll get Jasmine to look after him."

She moved to turn around, thinking incorrectly that he would agree. He shook his head angrily, hoisting Michael up further in his arms.

"No way," he exclaimed, "I'm not having another stranger upset him even more."

"Eddie, did you hear me? We have got to…"

"Rachel, did you hear me? You'll have to present on your own and if you want someone to blame for this, blame yourself."

He was seething and she knew it was her own fault. She watched desperately as he walked away, holding Michael close to him. She could see Michael's wide, brown eyes staring at her as his head bobbed over his father's shoulder. Rachel needed Eddie's help. This could not be done on her own.

"Come on," she heard him mutter.

"I don't know your presentation," she called after him.

She stared at his back, incredulously, sighing heavily. Standing still for a moment, she groaned loudly, her hands covering her face. It was evident that Eddie would not be helping her and she had no idea as to what his speech was about. She had to do something quick. Entering the conference room once more, she smiled shakily at them. They didn't look pleased at the interruption.

"Ladies and gentleman, I'm really sorry about that. For now, would you mind awfully retiring to our hospitality suite, it's just around the corner."

The hospitality suite was really just the cooler that had been decorated by Lewis, with added refreshments such as wine and light snacks. Rachel wanted to give a good impression and she hadn't done well so far. She could tell they were disgruntled, collecting their paperwork.

"Right, so, first door on the left," she instructed, "I will be following you very, very shortly, I promise. I know this is very out of the ordinary."

She opened the door for them, laughing awkwardly. They glared at her as they went past.

"Thank you," she added.

As soon as they had gone, she picked up her phone, biting her lip. Lewis' peevish voice answered, irritated further that he was being hurried into catering for the businessmen.

* * *

Stepping out of the conference room, Rachel raised her eyes to the ceiling, muttering under her breath. "Lord, help me. And give me the strength to not murder Eddie."

Fixing her usual, forced smile, she entered the suite with a sharp intake of breath. There was a lot of damage control to take care of.

"Well obviously, that little incident should not have happened."

"Little incident?" Oliver disbelieved. "Your deputy head is in the middle of a family crisis, which he brought right into the centre of the school."

She had to reason it was partly her fault for calling Alison in the first place. How was she to know Alison would dump Michael at the school while Eddie was working? Rachel had reasoned that the woman should have been decent enough to wait until the weekend or after school hours.

"Well, don't worry because I-I'm going to be dealing with it."

"A bit late now it's happened," Nigel cut in.

Rachel could tell her approval ratings were dangerously low.

"Unfortunate, yeah," she nodded, "Unfortunate to say the least." She picked up the nearest bottle of wine, noticing most of their glasses were empty. "But it's made me realise there's a much better way than a…" She poured a glass for Nigel. "A dry presentation to show you guys just what this school is capable of…" She poured a glass for Oliver too, walking around the circle of businessmen, making sure their glasses were full. "And this is our business enterprise ethos…" She put the bottle down. "In action. Some of you will be aware that it is our end of term school musical this evening but what you don't know is we have a matinee performance." She made a show of looking at her watch. "Erm, curtain up in less than two hours' time."

She had lied about that. With Eddie gone and their plan ruined, she needed something to keep them interested. Of course, Matt wasn't going to be happy when he found out, especially as Mika had only started rehearsing that day. Lewis wasn't happy either, spinning around abruptly in confusion.

"Eh?"

She ignored him, starting towards the door.

"Now, I'm just going to check with the musical director that, you know, everything is on the go, so, er…" She stopped at the door, looking at Lewis who was evidently displeased at the sudden hurry. "And those sausage rolls and things. Are they going to be out of the oven in time for the interval, Lewis?"

"Yes," he nodded, rushing out of the room.

"Great, thank you. I really appreciate you guys stopping on for the show." She saw Oliver nod at her. "Our pupils and staff have put one hundred and fifty per cent into this musical."

"Well, that's something, at least," said Oliver, his pleasant demeanour returning. "I'm looking forward to meeting the parents. A school show is a good indication of a strong partnership with the community."

All the businessmen nodded and Rachel felt her heart almost stop. The parents wouldn't have time to see the musical that afternoon, they were at work. The matinee didn't exist until five minutes ago. Cursing internally, she smiled at them, trying to remain outwardly confident.

"Yeah, well, all I can say is you're in for a real treat."

She nodded encouragingly, hoping they would become excited at the prospect, slipping out of the room. As she made her way down to the hall, she had to stop herself from running. They had barely any time at all. The hall stage was filled with students rehearsing. Mika and Brett were at the front, noticeably bored of the other. She could see Matt facing them, instructing them on one thing or another. They all stopped talking when they noticed her enter.

"Matt, I am really, really sorry," she sighed, "but we are going to have to put on a matinee performance this afternoon."

She heard Steph laugh shortly before all of the pupils started to protest. Matt glanced at Jasmine in shock, who was sitting nearby, before looking back at Rachel.

"You're joking?" he tested, an edge to his voice.

"No. No joke."

He gestured toward the wall. "Look at the time! We can't put a performance on this afternoon. They're not ready."

"It's an emergency," she exclaimed. "We've got a room full of VIPs waiting to be entertained."

"I don't care! We haven't even done our dress rehearsal."

"I totally understand but needs must; it's got to go on. In fact, you've got about two hours max."

He laughed hysterically, turning around to look at the pupils and then back. Matt was staring at her in a way that suggested he would have showed her just how displeased he was if she wasn't his boss.

"This is ridiculous. You want a full performance in front of what? A dozen people?"

He was trying to challenge her as calmly and diplomatically as he could, whilst failing miserably. She already had an answer, noticing Steph in the corner of her eye. Steph seemed to find the whole thing highly amusing.

"N-no. That's where Steph can help because you can do a cover of the local area."

"What? In these heels?"

Steph peered down at her shoes, making a point of how much she didn't want to move.

"You can cope," sniffed Rachel, "Jasmine, you come too."

They stood, evidently annoyed at being interrupted and coerced into an awkward situation. Matt started to instruct the panicked students, particularly Mika who still hadn't learnt the whole of the script. Rachel walked out into the front foyer, knowing the two women were following. She stopped by the front doors, turning to them.

"Steph, phone the local community centre, old folks home, get round to the local pubs if you have to. Take Maxine and Janeece with you. Get them to round their mates up. Tell them there is a free concert happening, loads of refreshments, that sort of thing."

"What?" frowned Steph. "Of booze?"

"Yeah, I guess so. I'll pay you out of petty cash. Jasmine, I need you to pull out all the stops and entertain our VIPs, just until we're up and running. Yeah?" She opened the door, walking out of it. "I don't mind if you have to sing a song."

"But I can't sing," Jasmine protested.

"Well, dance then."

"And what?" challenged Steph. "You're off to have a nice lunch with your friends?"

Rachel almost winced at the impression she had given to the other members of staff. Naturally, people liked to assume she had middle class friends to go with her middle-class upbringing.

"Who me? No, no. I'm in the middle of a custody battle."

She could see the surprise on both of their faces but she had already left the building, fumbling for her phone. As the phone rang out, she made sure Steph and Jasmine had left to do what they were meant to. They had left and from the other side of the phone, she heard the line connect.

"Alison? No, no. I just want- I want to chat."

* * *

In order to see Alison, she had to drive to the centre of town to a small coffee shop. Alison was already waiting inside, seemingly irritated at her daily routine being interrupted. A waitress brought their drinks over. Rachel peeked up at Alison who was sitting opposite her. She wasn't what she had expected.

Alison was older than her, but then again, so was Eddie. She was actually rather intimidating but not for the reasons Eddie outlined. A well-educated, established woman- well dressed, quite short, and with long blonde hair to match her piercing blue eyes. She seemed the type of woman Eddie would be attracted to. Rachel couldn't help but compare herself to his ex-wife, realising they were completely different in terms of appearance.

"Thank you," she smiled to the waitress, trying to remain calm.

Alison pursed her lips as she received her drink. "Thanks."

"Okay, I've got five minutes," Rachel told her.

"Look, if you're here to plead Eddie's case then…"

"No, I'm not interested in being a marriage counsellor but from where I'm standing it looks like you're using your little boy to get back at Eddie."

She could tell that was the wrong thing to say but Rachel didn't have time to be discreet. Alison leant forward, her voice rising in pitch.

"What the hell makes you think you've got the right to an opinion? You've no idea what I've been through."

"Well, I've got an inkling because Eddie told me."

She sounded rather presumptuous, aware she didn't know everything and of course, Eddie wouldn't always be completely innocent. He was well known for his grumpiness and Rachel found it hard to believe that he wasn't as much a cause for upset as Alison.

"Oh, yeah, yeah." Alison leant back, her elbow resting on the back of her chair. "Yeah, I can just imagine his version of events."

Rachel sipped her tea, not particularly interested in hearing the details. Any other time she would have wanted to know but she didn't have the time. She was always interested in hearing about Eddie outside of a professional capacity.

"What I don't think you know is the hell he's been through too."

"Yeah, it must be really tough when the only thing you've got to worry about is when the next live football match is on."

Rachel looked down, imaging Eddie as an avid football fan. It made sense to her. However, she could also see Michael beside him, rather than the image that he would be alone.

"Eddie told me you had a boyfriend," she mentioned.

"No. A few months of a screaming baby can test the most solid relationships. No, I was the one left with the nappies whilst Eddie had his freedom, allowed to play the field."

She couldn't imagine Eddie 'playing the field'. She couldn't see him that way, although she knew she didn't know him as well as the woman before her, something that irritated her a little.

"Look, I just think you two really need to sort this mess out," Rachel persisted. Alison flicked her hair to one side, rolling her eyes. "Right now, I really need a deputy head I can rely on." Alison stared at her, her expression hardening.

"So, please?"

There was no response. Rachel knew somehow that she would agree with her, although she didn't know how. She had to.

* * *

Rachel parked her car beside Eddie's, noticing he was in the passenger seat while Michael gripped onto the steering wheel with his little fingers. He noticed them both in the car, getting out rather sullenly. Michael was left in the car so he wouldn't overhear the conversation. Alison got out quickly too. They both looked each other up and down, comparably calm since the morning.

"So, what's this all about, Alison?"

"Let's talk, Eddie," she suggested.

Rachel called out to him as she walked back to the school.

"It starts in ten minutes, Eddie. I really need you there."

She knew he would be, especially with Alison and Michael there too. Trusting them to sort things out, she went straight into the hall. Surprisingly, the hall was heaving with people, filling the seats that had been laid out. It turned out Steph could be responsible after all.

There were two spare seats on the front row beside the businessmen. She sat next to Oliver Little, leaving the chair on the end for Eddie.

"Good turnout," Oliver mentioned when she sat down.

"Yeah, it's not bad for a school with no track record in the performing arts." She turned around to see two men behind her swigging canned beer. Oliver noticed too. She laughed awkwardly, patting her hair. "As you can see, we are up against it."

"Still, you have managed to get bums on seats."

As much as Steph had completed the task successfully, she needed to have a word about the kind of people that turned up. She checked over her shoulder to find Eddie, who entered with Michael in his arms. Alison was behind him, looking extremely happier than she had previously. He put Michael down in a chair at the back and Alison sat beside him, one of the only free chairs left in the hall. Selfishly, Rachel was relieved to know Alison wouldn't be sitting near Eddie. She watched him walk over to her, falling into the empty seat beside her. He was beaming, leaning over to say something, but the lights dimmed and he sat back, deciding to leave it till later.

* * *

The show was going fairly well, Rachel had to admit. Despite Mika stepping in that morning, she had done well so far, and Matt and Steph were hilarious as Brett's on-stage parents. As the audiences laugh filtered across the hall, Rachel looked over to the other side, pleased to see everyone enjoying themselves. Her happiness was cut short when she noticed a woman sitting on the front row, staring at her. The woman nodded in recognition, a small smile resting on her face. Rachel looked away sharply, taking a deep breath and sitting back. She was too scared to look again.

* * *

In the interval, Rachel couldn't find Eddie anywhere. Firstly, he had missed the meeting and then he was nowhere to be seen afterwards, even when there was no excuse. Partly she wanted him because her mind was still racing from seeing the woman earlier. She needed his physical reassurance. Pushing past the crowd of people, she found him with Michael. Rachel called to him, gesturing for him to follow. He was evidently displeased at having to leave his son but still trailed behind her.

Five minutes later, Rachel had managed to serve the businessmen hot drinks and she even shoved a coffee into Eddie's hands, frustrated he had been absent all day. He shrugged nonchalantly, back to the confident Eddie she knew so well. Since then, he had happily spoken to each businessman individually, laughing as they recounted their favourite parts of the musical so far.

"Yeah, that was a funny bit," he agreed. "It's not bad, is it?"

"Yeah, seems like they're having a good time out there," Oliver smiled. "To be honest, so am I."

Eddie nodded happily, taking a sip of his drink.

"It's very dramatic," tested Nigel, "A little like your altercation earlier."

"That's all sorted."

Eddie had said it passively but Rachel could see from the flash in his eyes that he was annoyed. Before anyone else could speak, they were interrupted by a woman behind them.

"Congratulations everyone," she grinned. "The kids did you really proud."

They all smiled at her before turning back, all apart from Rachel. It was the same woman who had been staring at her during the performance. She smirked at Rachel, holding up her drink in mock celebration, turning her back to retreat into the crowd. Rachel responded with a bewildered stare. Blinking rapidly, she turned back, her eyes darting around the room.

* * *

In the second act, Rachel couldn't concentrate on the singing. She peered quickly to the woman's seat but it was empty. Sighing in relief, she sat back, closing her eyes to regain composure. Eddie noticed, leaning closer to her.

"You alright?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm a bit nervous."

She tried to laugh it off, staring at the floor. She must have been convincing. Either that or he was too overly happy at seeing Michael again to care.

"Rachel, I'll never be able to repay you for what you've done. It's not just me and Michael, you know. I think me and Alison are ready to talk too."

She nodded at him, smiling encouragingly. He went back to watching the play with a satisfied grin. She stared at him for a moment, taking in the way he looked when he was happy, knowing she had caused part of that. Smiling, she went back to concentrating on Brett and Mika.

* * *

When the musical had ended, she made her way onto the stage. There had been a standing ovation and there were still the occasional whoops and shouts when she stood in front of the audience.

"What a triumph for Waterloo Road's brand new music and drama department," she congratulated, "and I hope, one of many enterprising productions. So, let's hear it for the creator and director of Parkside Story." She looked around her, trying to spot Matt. "Mr Matt Wilding."

Matt entered from the side of the stage, completely ecstatic. She patted him on the back and he nodded at her, beaming as he looked over his cast and crew. The audience went silent as they waited for his speech.

"Can I let you in on a little secret? I was a bit uptight today." The pupils laughed and Steph shook her head. Rachel didn't know how uptight he had been but she knew part of that stress was her fault. "I know, I hid it well but this group of people, cast and crew, pulled together today. They really did me proud. You know, but more importantly, they did themselves proud. I'd like to thank the spectacular Steph Haydock." The audience clapped respectfully. "And of course I'd like to thank Jasmine Korechi for her penmanship." There was another round of applause. "All the extra thank yous for Mika Grainger who stepped in as Shannon at the very last minute, and our backstage wonder, keeping us on track in the face of adversity, Miss Karla Bentham."

Karla entered the stage, smiling awkwardly as the pupils cheered for her, notably Aleesha and Danielle the most. Rachel needed to keep an eye on them. She hadn't forgotten the petition incident from the archaeological dig.

As she listened to Matt's praise for the pupils and staff and how the kids in the audience responded to the musical, Rachel was reminded of why she had entered the profession, especially for underprivileged children. They had worked hard to achieve a successful school musical through their own accord. Seeing the look on the pupil's faces, Rachel felt proud for the first time since being at Waterloo Road. She finally started to see what she was working for.

* * *

At the end of the day, when the school was practically empty, Rachel led the businessmen and Nigel to the front foyer. He was in deep discussion with her about Karla, interested in her progress. Having been a chairman for a number of years, he had been one of the governors interested in her development since arriving at Waterloo Road. Having heard of the incident with Danielle and Aleesha, he had wanted to know what the school had done about it, more poignantly, Rachel.

"Extraordinary." He nodded. "The cases of bullying and Asperger's are horrendous."

"No, not here," she confirmed, confident in her authority. "I never tolerate bullying and neither will my staff."

"Good for you," he approved.

They stopped at the front doors. It was the first time that day Rachel felt she had done something right. The success of the musical had encouraged the businessmen and Nigel to take their application more seriously.

"Well, thank you for an entertaining and enlightening day," smiled Oliver. "I thought rockback at Waterloo Road had a promising future when I first read your application." He smiled at Eddie. "Now, I'm sure it has."

"So do we, Oliver" Rachel agreed. "I'm sure you won't regret it."

She shook hands with the rest of the businessmen and Nigel. Eddie followed suite, all thanking each other for the day.

"See you again, Nigel," said Eddie.

"See you. Thank you very much."

They continued their pleasantries before the businessmen finally left. Once the door clicked shut, both Rachel and Eddie exhaled heavily, relieved the day was over. Rachel moved her head towards Eddie's shoulder, standing up straight at the last moment.

"And thank you, Eddie." She couldn't stop grinning, unbelievably relieved. "I mean it."

"Nah, it's all good if we manage to pull it off," he shrugged. "I just don't want to end up being a salesman instead of a teacher."

"It won't happen," she promised.

"It better not." He turned to face her fully, placing his hands on her upper arms. "Congratulations, Rachel. _You_ did it."

She laughed, closing her eyes in relief. When she opened them, they shared a delighted smile. Something about the sight of his mouth warmed her.

"Look, I better get off," he muttered. He perked up, pulling at his tie. "I've got a son and ex-wife to wine and dine, thanks to you."

He walked away completely content. She watched him go sadly, left standing alone in the foyer.

* * *

 _17_ _th_ _December 2007_

 _Dear Eddie,_

 _Today ended in unqualified success, I have to say. It has to be admitted that it hadn't started well but we managed to pull it off in the end, didn't we? At least, I did most of the time, until I managed to drag you back._

 _Firstly, I would like to thank you for the effort you put in before you were disturbed by Alison. I cannot tell you how many times I have been exasperated by your informal clothing. We have discussed this many times, haven't we? Every time I scold you for your scruffy shoes, crinkled shirts, and jeans. Every time you respond with a roll of the eyes and a scoff as if I'm unnecessarily nagging you. You are the deputy, Eddie! Wear something more formal. You did that today. Finally. Of course, there was a bit of prompting on my part but you did it anyway, so thank you. I have to say, you looked rather good. I know you don't like wearing formal clothes, evident from the way you kept on itching your collar and tugging on your newly ironed blazer. It meant a lot that you had left to get changed, taking my suggestion to heart. A tie really does do you the world of good. It did something for your bone structure too. Does that sound weird? It does, but I have to admit that I am attracted to you._

 _Okay. There you go. I am attracted to you. Very much so, actually. I'm blushing now just thinking about it. I wouldn't have thought when I first met you that I would ever feel like this. There are so many things to say but I don't know how to, so let's start with what happened today._

 _I would like to apologise for Alison dumping Michael with you whilst you were working. When I phoned her, I didn't know that was what she would do. It shocked and panicked me when you were called out by Bridget. I could see the almost accusatory way you looked at me. I mean, it was obvious what I had done. I had been planning to keep my contact with her a secret until she calmly contacted you. Somehow I had imagined she would go to your house and you would see Michael while you sorted out your differences with Alison. It didn't quite occur as I had hoped and so I'm sorry for the embarrassment I caused you. I was the reason you were called away from the businessmen and were left in an awkward situation. And when you heard Alison was at school, you knew I had ignored your protests and defied your wishes to do it yourself. What hurt most, I could also see your disappointment in me._

 _You see, I now consider us something like friends. I'd like to think after what we've shared and what we've achieved, we would be good enough to be friends. That was why I was adamant to help you. I could see how much you missed him and with my attraction and care for you, I wanted to help you in some way. You may have seen me as persistent, irritating, and unnecessary, but it was necessary for me. And it did work out in the end, didn't it? You deserve every happiness in the world. I mean that, Eddie. Believe me. So now you know why I was so persistent, especially with the reasons I outlined in my earlier letter. Does this mean we can move on and work from it? I hope so. I really do._

 _I am also glad we have created a perfect working relationship. We listen and work with each other extremely well. I promised you that there will be no more sales pitching and I meant it. At least, not for you. There was finally a breakthrough for me today. I've always wanted to help underprivileged children. I have already mentioned my parents. Things happened after that, which I refuse to mention, but I needed to change my life around. I had nothing and I was nothing. So, I did what I had to do and threw myself into education and work. It was hard; I had to change my whole life around. I came through as a different person, literally. Learning from those life mistakes, I didn't want anyone else to have to learn the hard way. I didn't want any child to go through what I did. That is why I'm a teacher. I want to help underprivileged kids make their way in life with fewer difficulties, if I can help it._

 _Now, I found a first glimpse of this when Matt made his speech. I saw the pride in him and in them. They were so happy to have achieved a success that they were positively glowing. The musical really was a success, one of many, I hope. I want there to be more of that. I want Waterloo Road to be full of success so those children can go and fulfil their potential. Now, doesn't that sound wonderful? I finally saw that today. It was a hint of things to come, of things this school could achieve. And I can tell you now, Eddie, I am proud to be a part of it. I cannot wait for what lies ahead._

 _One thing that I must admit, it bothered me to see Alison. I always knew it was inevitable we would meet at some point, particularly after my contact with her. However, it was disconcerting that she knew you so well. I don't know what I was expecting because she would obviously know you well. You were married to her. She had your child. She said some things that didn't quite measure to my image of you. I had to admit in the end that I have only known you so long; my judgement of you is not completely honest. Also, I know my judgement will be clouded by the fact I am attracted to you. Still, I had a glimpse of how horrible you can be when I first arrived at Waterloo Road so I know you're not an angel. Either way, it made me uncomfortable to see you with her. You were the picture of a happy family, and I couldn't be happier for you, but at the same time, I didn't want it to be Alison. Is that bad? I'm not sure. I did ask about her boyfriend but she made sure that I knew there was nobody in her life at the moment. That made me uncomfortable too. At least, if she had a partner, there was no worry of you and her…_

 _There's something else that is bothering me. You noticed during the musical that I was upset by something. Truth is, I saw someone. Someone I never wanted to see ever again. Her name is Tess Doyle. There I was, finally relaxing and feeling like I had found a place to belong, when I looked across and there she was. It was like Fate was mocking me for believing I could leave my past behind me. In my first job, I don't want to mention what; she was someone I worked with. A friend, I suppose. At the time, anyway. Seeing her made everything come rushing back to me. It scared me more than anything. Luckily, you were there and you were positively glowing from the day's events. I couldn't stay scared for long. When I checked in the second act, she had gone, which scared me again. I was relieved, don't get me wrong, but why was she there? Why now? There are so many questions that I won't get answers to. Will she tell people about my shameful past? I hope not. I really do._

 _One last thing- I almost did something embarrassing at the end of the day. When everyone had left and it was only you and me in the foyer, my first reaction was to rest my head on your shoulder. Imagine if I had! It seems to me that you're the kind of guy who'd let me so I didn't embarrass myself. It would have been nice. The offer was more than tempting, although it wasn't an offer. Your reassurance meant more to me than anything. With your hands on my shoulders and those brown eyes staring at me so intensely, I didn't know what to do. Then the moment was ruined. You mentioned going to meet Alison and I felt my heart in my mouth. Something inside of me twisted painfully. I watched you go, not able to ask you for a moment of your time. As long as you're happy, I don't mind really. Please be happy, Eddie._

 _Yours sincerely,_

 _Rachel x_


	5. Chapter 5

To be honest, I'm not sure how this goes. If you could review and tell me what you think, that would be great :)

There will be a few time hops now. I thought it would be nice to break up the story a bit so it's not as monotonous. Also, it's nice to develop my writing a little more so I'm not always following something that's so set already. Tell me if you like this or not. Especially if you think this is sorta realistic for the storyline or whether it's slightly AU for Phil.

Thank you :)

* * *

 **2010**

"You have to go see her, Philip."

Philip tried to avoid Miss Lipsett's stare, his feet shuffling against the gravel. Everyone had been sent inside once the bell had rung, despite the sight of Philip Ryan punching a younger student to the floor. Miss Lipsett, who had been on duty, was quick to react and was trying to reason with him. He wasn't having it.

"I'm not saying I won't go see her. I'm saying I don't want you to come with me."  
He could see her indecision at letting him go. He was an exemplary sixth form student. One who had just attacked someone else.

"I'm sorry," she sighed, "I have to inform Miss Mason of what I saw. You understand."

Sighing heavily, he ran his hand through his curls. "Fine. Can you go in before me and then I go in? Or can I go and you see her later?"

Miss Lipsett couldn't seem to understand why he wanted to see Miss Mason by himself. She probably believed he was hoping to get away with it if he managed to convince his aunt that he was innocent.

"I promise I'll tell her the truth," he added, "You know she'll be suspicious. I can't get away with it."

Scrutinising him, her lips pursed thinly, her hands delving into her coat pockets.

"Fine. I'll come to check on you in the cooler. If you're not there in an hour's time, I'll find you myself and take you there."

He held up his hands in surrender. "Fair enough."

She watched him go as he hurried up the stairs and back into the building. His long legs took him quickly to the head's office, subconsciously slowing when he reached the top of the stairs. He could imagine her there behind her desk, surrounded with piles of paperwork and an always filled cup of coffee. With his hands wringing together, he entered the anti-chamber, smiling timidly at Joyce. She hardly acknowledged him, typing away furiously on her computer.

Philip hesitated at the door. His hands trembled as he reached up to knock loudly. The sound of her voice through the wood caused him to panic slightly.

"Come in," she called.

Stepping inside, he could see her scribbling quickly into a journal. It was a book he had seen often, lying on her desk, sitting on her shelf at home, or wedged between her folders in her bag. He had often wondered what was hidden inside. Whatever it was, it was clearly important to her.

Her usual polite smile was replaced with a genuine one when she realised who had entered her office. However, her hands scrambled to hide the journal as she stood.

"Philip," she grinned, "What are you doing here?" Her eyes darted to the clock. "Aren't you meant to be in lessons?"

Her happiness changed to concern, walking over to the sofa by the window. He knew it wasn't a question that he joined her.

"I, er, I was sent here." He noticed how her eyebrows rose in disbelief. "By Miss Lipsett. I did something really stupid."

He dropped down beside her, his head falling in his hands. "I'm so sorry, Rach. I didn't mean to let you down."

Her hand rested on his knee, her body extremely close to his. Even as he didn't look at her, he could feel her concern.

"You know you could never let me down, Philip. Don't be ridiculous."

He reached for her hand, unashamed he needed her support. She squeezed his in reassurance. His eyes studied her face, the frown lines that had found their way onto her forehead, the dark circles under her eyes, and the slight wisp of grey hair. There was an unconditional love for her that had only appeared in the last year or so, particularly when his mother left. Melissa had never let him see his aunt and after getting to know Rachel better, he wished he had always known her that well. She was the mother he'd never had. She was the mother he should have had all along.

"I punched someone in the year below," he confessed.

Her expression softened. Philip was glad that she hadn't reacted as angrily as he thought she would.

"Oh, really? Why?"

"He was being really demeaning and I asked him to stop. He didn't so I hit him."

He deliberately missed out that the boy followed him on purpose, asking him personal details about Rachel and her past. As soon as the word 'whore' had left his mouth, the boy had found himself on the floor with a nosebleed.

"Now, I know you wouldn't normally hurt anyone physically." She looked him up and down. "I'm sorry, honey, but you're not always capable of doing so."

"What?" he exclaimed.

She bit her lip to stop herself from smirking. "You're obviously going to have to sit in the cooler for a while and I'm giving you a lunchtime detention tomorrow. I don't expect a similar incident for the rest of your time here, yes? I will come and get you when I think you can leave."

"It's alright. Miss Lipsett said she would check on me."

Rachel sat back, her hand slipping from his.

"Good. I don't have to deal with you then."

He could tell she was joking. She reached across to brush her fingers against his hair affectionately.

"Are you okay? Are you sure you don't want to talk about it? You know you can always talk to me."

"I know, Rach. Stop worrying. It won't happen again, I promise."

He reached across to hug her, hoping to ease any worries she might still have. Rachel held onto him tightly. He could feel her smile against his shoulder.

"I love you," she whispered.

He stood up, grabbing his bag as he did.

"Alright," he nodded, "That's enough now. I'll see you later."

"Sure."

Philip left her bemused, rushing to the cooler as he thought about how he'd hit the boy again, as long as Rachel was never hurt by the comments made.

* * *

As soon as the bell rang, Philip lingered outside in hope of getting a lift off of Rachel. Bolton and Paul had joked all day about Philip's temper and Ros had been standing at the gates, staring longingly at him. He had no interest in seeing her, not since their relationship had ended. Eventually everyone had left, bar some of the teachers. He heard Rachel before he saw her.

"I can't help that, Adam. I have to do it."

Adam was close behind her, his frustration matching hers.

"Excuse me for wanting to spend time with my fiancé," he cried, "Why is it so hard for you to put your work down and go out?"

She turned on him, her cheeks flushing red. Noticing the tension, Philip stepped closer to the car, taking sudden interest in the floor.

"This is my job!" she yelled, "I have to do it. I can't keep on having nights out like you. I haven't always got the time. If you want to go out then go without me. You convinced me to go out last week and you were an hour late."

"Is that what this is about?"

"No, I just don't have the time right now. You know I would otherwise but I have a lot of work to catch up on."

Adam was about to retort a response when he noticed Philip, nodding towards him. Rachel glanced over her shoulder, her body slumping slightly as she caught sight of her nephew. Philip turned around partly, pretending he hadn't noticed them there. He didn't want to embarrass them any more than they already were.

"I'll see you tomorrow then," sniffed Adam, marching towards his car.

Rachel watched him leave longingly before trailing her way to her nephew. He held tightly onto the strap of his bag, nudging towards the car door.

"I hope you don't mind," he apologised, "I just didn't fancy walking home."

"That's alright," she shrugged, "You can get into the front, if you want. Adam won't be coming with us anyway."

They were silent as they got inside.

"We're fine," she added unnecessarily.

Philip had seen enough of his mother's arguments with her partners to know when something wasn't right. He also knew enough to say nothing.

"I suppose I'll have to stay downstairs for dinner," he mused.

"Don't be ridiculous." She started the engine, avoiding his eye. "You can stay upstairs. You don't have to stop with me."

"I want to. It's good he's not coming anyway. I actually prefer your culinary skills, although I do miss chicken nuggets."

The car pulled away, turning slowly out of the school gates. He noticed how her eyes constantly flickered to where Adam's car had been.

"I told you time and time again," she scolded lightly, "if you want chicken nuggets, you can cook them yourself. I won't have them."

"You always cook dinner though. When am I ever going to make them?"

"That's not true. Sometimes Adam cooks."

He could hear the catch in her voice, her hands tightening on the wheel. It was silent for a moment.

"Yeah, and you hover until he gets annoyed and lets you do something. Even then, you keep on telling him what to do."

"He doesn't do it right."

"He's a chef…"

"And?"

He chuckled, leaning back into his chair. Even as upset as she was, Rachel bit back a smile.

"Okay, I can be quite assertive," she nodded, "I'm not that bad."

"Not assertive, Rach," he laughed, "Bossy."

Philip waved her hand away as she slapped him sharply on the arm.

"Now, that's just not true…"

* * *

Philip was the only one still awake. Rachel had gone to bed early, feigning a headache. There were two missed calls to Adam and she had left Philip's company shortly after. He only nodded in response, wishing her a good night. She deserved a good night's sleep. All evening he had been thinking of the journal she had. He knew he shouldn't be so interfering but somehow it seemed important he know.

After an internal debate, he stood, glancing around the room as if Rachel would appear suddenly to accuse him of being intrusive. When she didn't rush into the room, he peered at the bookshelves and catalogues under the coffee table, knowing how carefully she hid the journal. It wasn't there. He then went to search through her briefcase, thinking she may have stuffed it in there. It occurred to him briefly that she could have left it in her office but he wasn't about to stop looking for it.

Luckily for him, he found the black spine protruding from the multi-coloured folders. He pulled it out, weighing it in his hands for a moment. He could put it back and forget all about it, or he could take it and risk her disapproval. This was a serious breach of privacy.

Closing his eyes, he took a shaky breath before opening it somewhere in the middle. Reading the first name that caught his interest, Philip seemed to realise what the journal actually was. It was a diary, but not a usual diary of day to day things. As he flicked through the pages, it was a diary addressed in letters to Eddie. Much to his surprise, they didn't stop when Eddie had left but to that day. Yet, Philip couldn't believe his luck. The letter she had written earlier that morning was the final letter. It filled the last page, finishing resolutely at the bottom.

Surely then, she wouldn't know it was missing. Glancing around, Philip was embarrassed he would be caught. Turning off all of the lights, he went to his room, shoving the diary under his bed. Lying under the covers, he tried to calm his erratic breathing, hoping his aunt didn't have a sixth sense. He knew exactly what he had to do.


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry I've been so long. I have all these prepared already and I never seem to get round to posting them. It's not even as if I've been busy. So this is the next one. Hope you enjoy it and many apologies for the wait. R&R :)

* * *

Rachel was practically humming with happiness as she walked to her office. She'd had a relaxing Christmas. At least, she had in between her paperwork for the new building. There'd been a brief interaction between her and her sister, Melissa. She never knew where Melissa resided until she received a phone call from a cousin stating Melissa was staying there for the holidays. Rachel had immediately inquired into her, asking about her nephew and how the two were living. She'd received a card for her trouble and she'd sent one too. Throughout the two weeks, she had thought frequently about Eddie, questioning her judgement to not buy him a present.

Being the first in that morning, she quickly snapped out of her thoughts when she entered her anti-chamber. Whatever happened in the holidays had to be forgotten. She had work to do. Opening her office door, she was surprised to feel the door hit against something solid. There should be nothing there. She shoved open the door to find one of the file cabinets had fallen over and there was paperwork littered all over the office. She knew that was no fault of the cabinet as the drawers in her desk had been pulled out too.

"Oh, my God," she whispered.

She closed the door behind her, running her hand through her hair. It was a struggle for her to process what had happened.

"No."

She walked around. At first she had tried to avoid stepping on paper but that was quickly deemed impossible. Sighing heavily, she threw her bag and coat onto the sofa, making her way to the desk. Picking up the phone on her desk, she dialled a number she usually tried to avoid.

"Yes, hello. Police, please."

She ran her hand through her hair again, looking around the room. Sighing heavily, she shook her head. This wasn't something she needed on the first day back. Looking down, she noticed her private file was on her desk. She picked it up to find it was empty.

"Oh, no."

She stared at the empty blue folder, hoping the papers would suddenly appear. Hopefully, she would find it when cleaning up the mess. She threw the folder back down. Hearing a voice in her ear, she flinched.

"What? Erm…" She put her hand on her head. "Yes, sorry, erm… We've had a break in at Waterloo Road School."

* * *

Rachel was standing at the top of the stairs when she saw Eddie climbing up them. She saw his brow crease as she finished speaking to the police officer. Thanking the man for his time, she stepped towards Eddie who seemed troubled by the news.

"Hiya," he greeted, "I just found out."

She tut-tutted, raising her hands in the air. She was still displeased from the morning's events, not something she had wanted to deal with in her first hour back.

"How much did they get?" he asked.

"Not a thing."

He frowned in confusion. "Really? What about petty cash?"

"Intact. Just vandals." She started walking towards her office. After thinking about it, she had a mere suggestion of who it may be but she couldn't let her fear overtake her. "Well, what a lovely welcome back, huh?"

"Huh."

She opened the door to the anti-chamber, looking over her shoulder at him. She couldn't help noticing the way he blinked heavily in tiredness, captivated by the way his eyes flickered around in a flash of brown.

"And how about you? How was your break?"

Rachel knew she was more than curious to know how he spent his spare time.

"Well, it was fine," he shrugged.

"Only fine?"

They entered the office but his attention was on her, not noticing the mess at first.

"Quite good, actually," he admitted.

She gestured at all the paperwork. She had managed to clean up some of it before the police had arrived. Bridget had also helped but Rachel had asked her to do something else, feeling guilty. Eddie looked around, his eyes widening.

"Blimey."

She stepped over the paper, going over to the sofas. "Yep."

Crouching down, she started to sort the paperwork into organised piles.

"Had a bit of time with my lad," he told her.

She looked up at him, genuinely interested in what he had to say about Michael. Seeing his hesitation, she smiled in encouragement.

"Not much but, you know."

"Oh, well, better than none at all, eh?"

She was glad to hear the pride in his voice at the thought of Michael. It was what she had hoped for when she had contacted Alison in the first place.

"Saw Alison a couple of times."

He had said it so matter of fact that Rachel felt herself gulp. Looking up instantly, she noticed a small smile on his face.

"Oh?" She was surprised at how quiet her voice was. Looking back at her paperwork, she shuffled them busily. "That's good."

"Yeah," he nodded, "I never really thanked you, not properly anyway. So, er…"

He stopped a moment, seemingly embarrassed. Holding up his hand, he showed her a present wrapped in red paper. Eddie shuffled over, handing it over to her.

"I got you this."

"Aw," she smiled.

He sat down on the edge of the table, leaning over in anticipation of her reaction.

"I think you'll find it oddly appropriate for today."

She tried to undo the wrapping paper without ripping it, proving to be quite difficult.

"You didn't have to," she blushed. She paused. "It's pretty well wrapped for a man."

Eddie beamed, tugging his bag closer to him.

"Yeah, perfect precision of a mathematician."

She laughed, looking down at the present. Realising what it was, she felt a surprised smile appear.

"Wow. Crime and Punishment."

When she and Eddie had first started working together, he had inquired into her years of teaching English. She had admitted a book she loved was Crime and Punishment. Throughout her childhood, it was one of the few books she had access to, although he did not know that, and she had made sure to teach it when possible to her class. Knowing he had remembered and purchased it specially meant more to her than she cared to admit. Plus, the storyline of Raskolnikov and Sonia was ringing uncomfortably true for her.

Smiling up at him, she wanted him to know how touched she was, but unsure how. However, the way he looked at her, she could tell he knew she was grateful.

"See," he grinned, "Totally appropriate for what you've got to do today."

Still smiling, she placed it carefully on the side.

"Well, thank you very much but we are only visiting, remember?"

She continued to clean, secretly still worried she had not yet found the papers for her personal file. The trip that day was the least of her worries.

"It's only a matter of time with Bolton and his little gang," she heard him mumble.

"Hence the visit."

Eddie smirked, as dubious about her trip as she was his.

"You still think you can scare him straight?"

She sighed, unable to show her annoyance. Throwing a heap of paper onto the sofa, she glared up at him.

"Look, he's got eighteen months before he enters the real world." She ignored the rise of his eyebrow. "And he thinks it's all a game but you know he's got talent worth nurturing."

Eddie rolled his eyes, turning his head.

"But still, taking him out of the mocks…"

The thought must have been completely distasteful to him as he clutched his bag tighter to him.

"You really think these boys take these exams seriously?" she questioned.

"No, but they should."

She shrugged, feeling her mouth downturn.

"They should matter to everyone in this building," he grumbled, "I'm on my own there."

He looked forlornly at the wall. Rachel bit her lip, trying desperately not to laugh at him, especially as he wouldn't find it humorous.

"Come on, don't be a martyr. Anyway, they can sit them when they get back and they might take them more seriously after the trip."

"No," he frowned, "I thought you were visiting prison, not Lourdes."

He stood up, shrugging as he walked out of the office. She frowned after him, irritated that she hadn't had chance to argue her point.

* * *

Eddie didn't seem to be the only one who was having doubts about the trip. Rachel found herself sitting on the edge of Bridget's desk as she listened to Candice Smilie. The canteen worker had asked for a moment of her time only a few moments earlier. As a respected colleague and the mother of Bolton, Rachel reasoned she could have all the time she wanted. Candice was sitting in the secretary's chair, trying to explain to Rachel why she didn't think Bolton should go on the trip to prison.

"H-He's just too excited. I mean, he thinks it's going to be a holiday. You know, where he can muck about."

Rachel refrained from smiling, leaning slightly forward.

"Yeah, I know, but that's what he thinks about everything, Candice. I mean, that's the whole purpose of the trip."

She wanted to get the point across. The only people who knew what was going to happen there, besides herself, were Matt and Eddie. She hadn't even told the parents. It was meant to be a surprise. That would all be ruined if Bolton didn't go. He was the main reason they were going. The original 'bad boy' at Waterloo Road, she was determined he would learn a hard lesson. This was her chance to change him.

"Well, I don't care," Candice argued, "I don't want him to go."

"Fine, fine," she sighed, resting her hands on her thighs, "but at least tell me the real reason because I know. I know Bolton's dad is in prison."

Bolton had told anyone who would listen the glorified tales of his father and his comfortable lifestyle behind bars. Rachel didn't believe his father was living so well but she didn't want to front him about it. Candice glanced up at her, lips pursing. She quickly looked down at the floor, her fingers knotting together.

"Might be. Might not be. That's what I tell Bolton to, you know, stop him asking questions." Her voice was starting to shake. "I don't know where his dad is and I don't want him to know where we are."

Rachel's eyes widened in realisation.

"I thought, you know," Candice muttered, "I-I might… But this Christmas, when he hadn't heard a word from his dad, I found myself making all these excuses." Rachel titled her head, intrigued and apologetic at the same time. "And I think this trip, I think it might be bringing up too much for him."

"You could just tell him the truth."

She shook her head. "No."

Rachel knew Bolton had to go, no matter how much Candice objected.

"I just don't think that it's doing Bolton any favours by pussyfooting around him," she admitted, "I mean, he has got serious behavioural problems."

She noticed Candice's eyes snap up in a glare, her voice dropping any warmness.

"Oh, I'm to blame, am I? Blame the parents."

"Yeah," Rachel nodded calmly, "And I blame the school, and I blame society, and I'll blame Gordon Brown if it will make you feel any better, Candice. We can play this blame game all day if you want to."

Candice seemed to accept her reasoning, sighing lightly. "Okay. Okay, he can go."

Rachel smiled in relief, clapping her hands together in excitement.

"You will not regret that." They shared a small smile. "And I think you'll find some serious improvement."

The door swung open to reveal an upset Matt. He stopped in front of them both, shoulders slumping as he humphed.

"They've locked me out of the mini bus."

* * *

Rachel stormed outside with Matt in tow, who had apologised all the way down. From what she could see, the bus was closed and all of the boys were visibly sitting inside.

"I'm sorry, Rachel," Matt exclaimed, "I never meant to…"

"It could have been worse," she assured him, "They could have decided to drive off. After all, they have got the keys." She reached into her coat pocket. "Luckily, I have got a spare seat."

She took them out, unlocking the sliding door. Pulling it open, she glared at them all. As much as she had tried to assure Matt, she could feel her temper rising. The day hadn't started as well as she'd hoped.

"Out!"

They all clambered out of the bus, laughing between themselves. She didn't have the patience that morning to deal with unruly pupils, let alone spend the day with them.

"I said get out!" she yelled, stepping back.

They lined up in front of her, still clearly amused. There was Bolton at the end, his faithful sidekick and best friend, Paul Langley, Dominic Hammond, and Shaid Kapoor. They were four of the worst behaved pupils at Waterloo Road, not to say they were bad people, but she was about to change that.

"Do you think it's funny?" she sniffed.

"We are laughing," remarked Bolton.

She turned to him, her voice rising. "Well, I'm not!"

They all stared at the floor in clear repentance, apart from Bolton. She was surprised at how angry she was. He glared defiantly at her as she looked between the four, seeing the discomfort in their guilt.

"Do you know what everyone said in the staffroom when they heard I was taking you to a prison? They said best place for them." Steph and Grantly had been particularly happy to voice their opinion on the 'cretins' visiting their home place. "And lo and behold, before you have even left the school, you have proven them right."

Bolton pushed himself from the bus, striding towards the school gates. "Fine."

"Where are you going?" she asked.

He didn't even turn around as he answered her. "Home. There's no point in being here if you all think I'm a waste of space." He turned to the others. "Ain't I right, lads?"

She walked towards him slowly, weighing the keys in her hand.

"You're absolutely right," she nodded, "There is no point you being here unless you change your behaviour."

"That's what I keep sayin'," he cried.

"So, I'll make you a deal."

He stopped, suddenly much calmer. "I'm listenin'."

Rachel had to stop herself from smiling, pleased at how predictable he was, playing right into her plan.

"You can drop out." She bit her lip, nodding thoughtfully. "But only after you've been on the trip. If you still think school is a waste of your time after that, then I'm off your case. Is that a deal?

He smiled smugly. "Deal."

She nodded, pointing towards the bus.

"Get in then." She turned to the other three. "All of you, get back in."

Bolton threw the keys back to Matt, laughing to himself. She slammed the door closed as soon as they were seated; irritated there had been a glitch before they'd even left the grounds. However, she was glad they had all attended. Before she opened the passenger door, she noticed Matt, who looked terrified.

"Cheer up," she grinned, "We'll win this one."

She opened the door, climbing into the passenger seat. Even with her optimism, she knew it was going to be a long day.

* * *

Rachel walked to the front of the school, Bolton beside her. They had returned from the school trip and enough had happened to frighten the boys into behaving. As for Bolton, that still remained to be seen. She had asked him to stay a little longer, hoping they could talk. Her aim was to change his mind about leaving school. After what she had seen, she was sure Bolton would want to.

She could see Eddie ahead speaking to Paul. Even though he supported her, she could still see the remnants of doubt. He was obviously checking on how the trip had gone. He looked over, nodding in recognition. She smiled, sauntering past him. He continued talking to Paul. As she passed, she couldn't help overhearing part of their conversation.

"I guess I better start revising," Paul said.

"Really?" Eddie's eyebrows couldn't have gone any higher.

"Yeah."

Incredibly smug, Rachel entered the school, passing a knowing smile at Eddie. He shook his head in disbelief. She went straight to her office with Bolton in tow, aware of how difficult the next conversation was going to be. Once they were inside, she rummaged in her bag to pull out the CD.

"Now, before I play this, are you absolutely sure you don't want to change your mind about coming back to school?"

"No way."

She shrugged, placing the CD into the television. She was a little anxious about how he would react. It couldn't be a positive reaction either way.

"Fine," she muttered.

She pressed the play button. It was a recording from the trip earlier when Bolton had placed in a cell. Bolton appeared on the screen, sitting down with his back against the wall. She put her hands behind her back, waiting for his response.

"He said it wasn't turned on," he frowned.

"Apparently, the best bit is about ten minutes in. Wait a minute."

She picked up the remote control, fast-forwarding the recording until she saw his hand move upwards to his face.

"There." She stepped beside him, scrutinising the screen. "Are you crying there?" She looked into his eye. Difficult, considering he was staring at the wall to show how uncomfortable he was. "It's hard to tell without sound."

A second later, Bolton was striding out of the door. She put the remote down quickly, running after him.

"Bolton." She reached out, taking his arm to stop him. "I know you're feeling stupid."

"Why'd you do that?" he shouted. "So you could all have a good laugh later on in the staffroom?"

"No." She grabbed him to stop him leaving again as he turned from her. "It was never about that," she cried.

"You must be right happy, finally showing me up," he fumed.

"Hey, you didn't give me any other choice, Bolton. I had to find a way to get through this macho crap." He started to pace in front of her, his hands deep in his pockets. "I want to talk to the real Bolton."

"Well, this is him!"

"No, it's not," she sighed, "It's what everyone thinks you are or what you want them to think."

"What am I really?"

"You're a kid. You're a kid who gets pushed from pillar to post by his mother, and despite what he says, he hasn't heard from his dad for ages."

The door to the anti-chamber opened as Bolton pushed his face into hers, shouting furiously.

"Shut up about my dad or I'll…"

Eddie entered, always having good timing.

"Alright," he yelled, "that's enough."

She held up her hand to stop Eddie from continuing.

"It's alright," she shouted. Pausing, she spoke softer. "It's alright."

He stared at her a moment. Giving him a nod and reassuring smile, she watched him as he stepped back, glaring furiously at Bolton. Rachel turned back to the boy, speaking considerably calmer than before.

"But more than that, you are someone who thinks he's a waste of space and is quite happy to prove that to himself and everyone else on a daily basis. All that, all that…is actually quite impressive."

Bolton looked up, his brow creasing. "Eh?"

"Because to pull that off, day after day, must take so much strength and bloody mindedness." She smiled up at him, trying to let him know he was being complimented. "In fact, do you know what I think? You could do anything you want to. Yes, I know, roll your eyes. You've heard it all before, haven't you?" He nodded, still not looking her in the eye. "I'm not using it as a stick to beat you with. I am guaranteeing it. You give me the rest of this year and you'll be on your way."

"What do I have to do?" he muttered.

"Turn up and listen."

He finally looked her in the eye. "Is that it?"

"Yeah, that's all I've ever asked of you or anybody else. You're making life hard for yourself. You're fighting everything constantly." Hesitating, she laughed. "You must be knackered, but if you learn to work the system, work with it, yeah? You'll be surprised what you can get away with. Hey, look. They let me run a school."

She could see the small smile appearing as Bolton considered her speech.

"Will I see you tomorrow?" she asked.

He shrugged. "Maybe."

"That's good enough for now."

She let him leave, patting him lightly on the back before he did.

* * *

Rachel made her way down to the hall. It was parent's evening and, although she didn't have to be there, she wanted to check on how they were doing. Eddie had informed her of the teacher's wager that day. It had been mock exams all day and the teachers had complained that exams were much easier than before. Eddie made them a bet that if they passed the exam, he would buy each person a bottle of whiskey. Naturally, Grantly had been the first to put his name forward. Jasmine had been the only one to pass, which hadn't been met with a warm response by the other teachers.

Smiling to herself, she joined Tom in the hall, who was pouring himself a cup of tea.

"Well…"

He turned in her direction but was staring at something behind her.

"Good turnout," he nodded.

"Yeah. Better than I expected. Well done." A lot of parents didn't bother to turn up, especially to hear how badly their child was doing. Tom was still staring over her shoulder. "What's the matter?"

He glanced quickly at her.

"Well, I, erm, I couldn't understand why Danielle Harker was trying to stop her mom coming to parent's evening."

Rachel looked over her shoulder, noticing a complete contrast in Danielle's appearance. Her straight hair had been left naturally curly, all of her make-up was gone and her uniform was on correctly, her skirt past her knees.

"Oh, yeah."

Biting her lip, they shared a small laugh. They both looked over one more time, trying to avoid her eye. Danielle spoke briefly to Aleesha, which was shortly interrupted by her storming away in anger. Tom quickly touched Rachel's arm to let her know he was going to speak to Danielle, hoping to calm her down. Rachel watched them go, aware of why they had probably had an argument.

* * *

After parent's evening was over, Rachel walked past Aleesha and Danielle who were talking quietly, evidently having already made up from earlier. She went straight to Candice and Bolton, holding up the CD for him to see.

"Bolton, I've got something for you."

He seemed genuinely surprised that she was giving him the option to have it.

"Thought you might want to keep it, just in case," he shrugged.

"I don't think I'll need it, will I?"

He took it from her, smiling. "Nope."

Smiling back, she muttered a goodbye to Candice before heading back to her office.

* * *

"Eddie, before you leave…"

She rushed towards him as his hand reached out to open the front door of the school. He stepped back, smiling inquisitively. It was a little rushed but she had thought a lot about it that day. He had given her a present. She had to give him one back, didn't she?

"Hey, Rachel," he grinned, "What is it?"

"I just want to say thank you again for getting me that book. I loved it, honestly. So, I got you something too. Think of it as my own thank you for being such a good deputy."

Her fingers clutched the package tightly as she held out his present, wrapped in some cheap paper she had gotten from the art room. He didn't seem to mind. Taking it from her, his grin grew even bigger.

"Wow, you didn't have to do that."

"I know," she smiled, "But you didn't have to get me anything either."

He ripped the paper off eagerly. Rachel blinked hard as she saw her hard efforts to wrap it wasted. Eddie whistled lowly in surprise when he saw what she had got him.

"You kept on saying how Michael likes them and, well, I thought it would be nice for you two to do together," she explained hurriedly, "And I know what you're like. You'll probably be really precise about it."

Eddie held the train set in his hands, his eyes wide.

"I can't take this, Rachel. This make is really expensive. Michael can just have another one."

He still held it firmly in his hands, looking up to meet her eye. She smiled reassuringly at him.

"No, honestly," she protested, "I want you to have it. I want you both to enjoy it."

Eddie almost bounced with joy, his arm moving towards her but then falling back to his side.

"You don't know how much he'll love this," he cried, "Thank you so much. I can't believe you got this. You didn't have to."

"As long as you love it then it doesn't matter."

She couldn't help the slight blush on her cheek as he beamed at her, the way she instinctively smiled back without hesitation.

* * *

Being the last person to leave the school, apart from the cleaners, Rachel walked across the car park towards her car, taking no notice of her surroundings. It had started to rain; her umbrella perched protectively over her head. From somewhere near her, she heard a sudden shuffle. Startled, she spun around. There was nobody there from what she could see. Surveying the car park, she noted there was nobody else there. Her car was the only one left. Reasoning it must have been an animal, she got into her car, trying to calm the pounding of her heart.

* * *

 _4_ _th_ _January 2008_

 _Dear Eddie,_

 _You asked me how my Christmas was today. I told you I had a fairly peaceful one, in all honesty, but that was because I did nothing and I saw nobody. None of my friends really keep in contact with me often. I am not the sort of person that has many friends. Mainly because a lifestyle like mine hasn't given way to close contacts. It isn't entirely comfortable for me._

 _I did manage to speak to my sister though. Melissa was staying with Charlotte, one of our cousins. Charlotte was actually rather annoyed with her. Apparently, she turned up without any warning, Phillip in tow, expecting to stay over the holidays. I am certain I have mentioned Melissa before and her flighty nature. It didn't surprise me at all. All I can say is the two of us didn't end on the best of terms last time we met but I was glad to speak to her over the phone. I sent her a card and she sent one back to me, including a picture of Phillip. He doesn't look much like her really. He takes after his father. Phillip isn't anything like I remembered him. He's suddenly a tall, awkward, acne filled teenager. I don't know when the photo was taken but he didn't look all that happy. I don't know him very well in all honesty. He could be a lot like Melissa for all I know. Either way, I'm glad to have seen how he is and heard how he is getting along. A very clever boy, apparently. I couldn't have been more proud._

 _I was glad to hear how you spent your Christmas. Of course, you went into more detail after the school day, confessing your time spent with your son. You apologised for wasting my time but you never could. I loved hearing you talk about Michael. I love seeing how passionate you can be. Please don't ever apologise for that. It was nice to hear you getting along so well with Alison too. I was a little irritated at how well you seemed to be getting along but that isn't my place to say. Unfortunately. Even so, I am pleased that you are happy to confide in me, something that is fairly new to the both of us. I am honoured that you trust me enough to do so._

 _Anyway, any happiness that had occurred over Christmas was short lived after I stepped into my office. It was the last thing I had expected and needed this morning. What a terrible thing to return to! What worried me the most was that the only things missing were the papers from my personal file. I mentioned before a certain Tess Doyle. It may be a coincidence or it may not be, that she happened to appear on the last day of term and on the first day back, my personal file goes missing. I cannot accuse her without full evidence, of course, but I am finding it hard to believe otherwise. She knows things about me that I don't want anyone to ever know. Not now. If this ever came out, I don't know what I'd do. I can imagine your reaction and that terrifies me. It terrifies me before everything else. I could lose my job, everything I've worked for. I'm so scared. The worst thing is, I can't tell anyone, besides the police, because it isn't something that anyone can ever know. I must have that file back. And if Tess Doyle has it, as I feared, then God help me._

 _On a lighter note, you somehow managed to bring a little happiness this morning with your surprise gift. You'll never know how much that meant to me. Thank you. When I was younger, my mother had a rather battered copy of Crime and Punishment. That and two other books: Pride and Prejudice and The Adventures of Winnie the Pooh. They were the only books she would keep, I don't know why. When she left, they stayed with me, probably because she didn't read anymore and was not bothered to take them with her. My father definitely did not read so I hid them. The books Melissa took home were either torn or burnt. He didn't like her reading. I read the three books avidly. They were my only lifelines to education. After he died, I don't know where the books ended up. I still have Winnie the Pooh and that is all. The other two disappeared somewhere along the way. Once I could afford it, after my new life, I bought a copy of Crime and Punishment. I let a friend borrow it and never received it back. I was more than disappointed. In the end, I never saw the book again. So, when I became an English teacher, I was quick to establish the book in some way and I was pleased to let the book bring joy to others as it did to me._

 _So, you can imagine my joy when I opened the paper to find my own copy of Crime and Punishment Even more so, you had remembered from a conversation previously. It had taken everything I had not to blush. I was incredibly flattered, to say the least._

 _Then I didn't see you again for the majority of the day. I had that trip to attend to. I was a little dubious at first, despite knowing my plans always work. That soon turned to enthusiasm when I managed to make a deal with Bolton, that he leaves the school if he didn't learn anything from the trip. Matt was terrified, bless him. I believe it was more to do with his striking performance rather than spending a day with those four, but it could have been a mix of the two. Even with all my enthusiasm, I was still slightly nervous. Prisons scare me._

 _When one of the actors, Peter, took us to the holding cells, it was quite overwhelming for me. I have never been to prison, but something you may not know about me, I was close to being there. Luckily, a different call was made and I was sent to university to change my life instead, something I will be forever grateful for. Someone I met to help me change my life was a woman by the name of Francis Myers. She did a lot for me, led me in the right direction when I needed it most. She was actually the officer of the prison ward. When I was given the choice to go to prison or start a new life, Francis came to me and made my options quite clear. The prison ward she managed was a women's prison. She told me a few stories of her own, what happened in there and the people she came across. Those stories terrified me and still do. I still keep in contact with her now and again. She's made her way in the world since then. At one point, she was actually in charge of security at Buckingham Palace. Can you imagine that? She was an impressive woman. At least, she was to me. She had her flaws, quite evidently, but she was ambitious._

 _Anyway, being in the prison disturbed me more than I cared to admit. Knowing how close I was to being there and what that meant for me, I wanted the boys to realise that also. I wanted them to feel part of that fear. And I honestly think they did._

 _The prisoners were all actors; I know that, although a few times I was terrified. A couple of them whistled at me. I hate that sound. It fills me with dread for so many reasons. Ever since I started at university, I've hated male attention, especially when it is unnecessary. Even when pretending, I couldn't help but tremble slightly when I heard the whistles._

 _Then there was another actor, Rob, who was playing a prisoner. I've met him before, twice. Being there and hearing him be so degrading towards me, I hated it. My whole childhood was degrading for me, particularly when I was a teenager. Being a respected professional, I was hoping I would never be degraded again. Something he called me, Eddie, was 'sexy'. Now, we all have to agree, that is not a word that is often associated with me. However, that was a word I heard quite often for the late years of my adolescence. There aren't many words in the English language that I hate so much as that word. It makes me repulsed to the very centre of my being. And that was how I felt when he called me that. Naturally, it isn't his fault. He was doing his job and how was he to know it would make me uncomfortable? As the person who consented to the trip, I'm sure they thought I would be pleased with whatever they did. Anyhow, it doesn't matter. As much as it does bother me to some degree, I know it was unintended._

 _One thing that affected me today was Bolton. Oh, you should have seen him. Like I've said so many times, he needs a positive male role model, something he does not get at all. When I spoke to Candice, I hate to say that she is mostly to blame. I mean, of course, the school have to help with his behaviour also but all of this comes from the home. Not that she hasn't done what's best for him, but what he needed was to know the truth. He should have known about his father. I'm certain she told him afterwards, probably because he asked, but it was hard to see him scramble for lies just so he could incorporate some sort of father figure into his life. Hopefully, after everything that has happened and having been told the truth, Bolton will start to improve his behaviour, even if that means he still has a bad attitude but actually attends all of his lessons._

 _Now, I know you had your doubts, didn't you? I know you didn't believe I could change Bolton, especially as your attempt resulted in an injury. But this is the start of something great for him and I hope he realises this, as well as his teachers. We are there to support him and I know you will. You didn't say anything after but I saw your surprise when you were speaking to Paul. Admit it, I did well. And I hope we will continue to do so together, as a team._

 _Yours sincerely,_

 _Rachel x_


	7. Chapter 7

Rachel had entered the front foyer when she heard Eddie yelling from close behind her. She hadn't seen him angry for a while, not since Alison had dumped Michael with him during their presentation. Hearing his voice, she was surprised at how loud he actually was. She was almost at the stairs when Eddie barged through the door, his phone pressed to his ear.

"Yeah, well forget it then. That suits me."

He put the phone down, shoving it back into his coat pocket. She noticed that he was positively infuriated. Knowing what was about to happen, she listened attentively. With a low grumble, he stalked past her.

"Ugh, can you believe it?" he cried, his fast pace matching hers. She stared at him, frowning; wondering what had caused his mood swing. They started walking up the stairs while he continued to moan. "I mean, one minute she's all 'Yeah, come round. Stay for supper' and then it's 'No, that's inconvenient for me. I'm not changing my plans'."

Realising why he was so upset, she smirked. "Morning, Eddie. In the doghouse?"

"Obvious, is it? It's all your fault, you know."

"Well, thanks," she frowned.

She knew he didn't really mean it that way. They reached the top of the stairs, stopping by the door of the anti-chamber.

"You could fit on the back of a stamp what I know about marriage," she laughed, "But it seems to me you two are still blaming each other."

He sighed deeply, his shoulders slumping. For the first time, she noticed he looked quite tired.

"I know I may have handled it bad in the past." His voice was considerably calmer. "But she can't seem to get beyond that point. You know, she acts like the first three years of Michael's life were a prison sentence for her."

She looked down at her watch, starting at the time. For someone who was consistently early, Rachel had seemed to awaken later than usual that morning. She held up her hands, gesturing towards the office. Cursing the time, she wished she had longer to speak to him.

"I'm really sorry, Eddie," she apologised, "I've got so much to do."

He shook his head, pointing in the opposite direction, towards his classroom.

"No, no, no. So have I."

"Can we talk later?"

"Course we can."

She grinned, looking over her shoulder as she started to walk away. "Great. I'll see you."

As she turned around, the door to the anti-chamber opened and Bridget hurried out. She spoke in a hushed voice as she addressed Rachel.

"Stuart Hordley would like a word."

Rachel frowned at her, unable to comprehend who that was. "Who?"

She walked into the chamber to find the person in question sitting there. He stood up when he saw her. Scrutinising his appearance, she guessed he was a businessman of some sort, a man with an exotic background, greying hair and a suspicious look. He stood up when he saw her, clinging tightly to his briefcase.

"Hi. Stuart Hordley."

"Er, hi," she frowned, "Have you got an appointment?"

She glanced at Bridget, almost accusatory. It wasn't the secretary's fault if the man insisted on seeing her, but she needed someone to blame for her morning being interrupted. She had a ridiculous amount of work to do.

"No, sorry," rushed Stuart, "I-look, I just need a couple of minutes of your time."

"Why?"

She laughed lightly, trying to appear pleasant in order to hide her irritation. She started towards her office, knowing he was following her.

"The proposed new training centre," he explained, "I put in a bid for it. Hordley Construction."

She didn't personally know who had put bids in for her building. As the head teacher, Rachel was expected to appear on the final meeting to hear the bids and advise on who she thought best. Although she had no understanding of why he was there, she nodded in recognition, looking over her shoulder at him.

"Oh, okay. Right, five minutes, Mr Hordley."

"Please call me Stuart," he smiled, stepping into her office. "It's company policy."

She closed the door behind them, giving him a reassuring smile. "Okay."

"I really appreciate you giving me this time. I know your job is probably like mine."

While he was talking, she put her bag down on the round table beside her desk. She shrugged her coat off too.

"Spinning plates," he continued, "Eyes on the back of your head."

Finishing, Rachel moved to stand in front of him, realising what he wanted.

"Something like that," she nodded, "I'll give you the same disclaimer as the others. I have no influence over the outcome of the bids. I can help you information but, well, the rest is really up to you."

She walked around to the other side of her desk, her fingers brushing lightly across the top.

"Yeah, my bid was rejected." He put his briefcase down beside the chair. "I only found out yesterday. Apparently, I was way over budget."

She wasn't sure what to say. It wasn't the turn that she had expected.

"Oh, well, erm, that's a shame but…"

He sat down, interrupting her. "Yeah, I'll just get to the point, shall I?"

Suddenly cautious, she frowned down at him.

"I want you to do everything you possibly can to have my bid reinstated," he demanded.

"Even if I wanted to," she glowered, "I can't do that. I'm only here…"

"Involved in an advisory capacity, yeah. I do know how things work around here, Rachel."

She took a step back, aware her mouth was hanging open. As far as she was concerned, she had not given him permission to call her by her name. Rachel, first and foremost, was a professional and her first name was strictly out of bounds for anyone other than Eddie. Walking round the desk, her voice dropped lower, speaking harshly.

"I think you need to talk to the committee about this. I can't help you."

He nodded, pulling a sheet of paper from his briefcase. "Yes, you can," he smiled, "And you will."

Placing the sheet on the desk, he pushed it towards her. With one look, she recognised it as one of the papers that had gone missing from her personal file. She hadn't managed to find them since the first day back. As her eyebrows rose, she couldn't remove her attention from the paper. It was terrifyingly specific about one thing in particular.

"You remember Tess Doyle, don't you?" he inquired, "My secretary. She came to your school production."

Rachel moved to look closely at the paper. She had hoped it was a coincidence that Tess had appeared at the school play and nothing more.

"She saw your picture in the newspaper," he continued, "Waterloo Road gets new super head."

Rachel sat down, her eyes scanning the typed lines.

"She didn't recognise the name, well, of course she wouldn't."

All she could see were: THIS CHANGE OF NAME DEED…. RACHEL MASON… CALLED AMANDA FENSHAW WHO IS A…

"But she's very good with faces. Do you know what? Rachel really suits you. Tess didn't think it would work but now that I've seen you in the flesh, I'd say it was a pretty good choice."

She stared up at him, horrified. She knew exactly what he was doing and why he was there. With her missing paper in front of her, the brevity of the situation was starting to sink in. Standing up, Rachel thought she was going to be sick. Rolling up the sleeves of her cardigan, she found it hard to look at him. Her mind seemed to have stopped working.

"So, this is what's going to happen," he told her. She kept her back to him. "Your stock is very high at the LEA. They value your opinion. You're going to pick up the phone."

She walked towards him, hoping to scare him out of it.

"You're taking a very big risk," she warned, "One phone call and you could be inside for blackmail."

And she could be inside for much worse.

"That's what we entrepreneurs do, Rachel. We take risks."

It wasn't the response she had hoped for. She walked away again, her palm pressed firmly against her forehead.

"It's my company against yours. Wrap on the knuckles for me or humiliation and the end of a glittering career for you. You wouldn't want to throw away everything you've worked so hard for now, would you?"

She faced him, staring him in the eye for the first time since he had given her the paper.

"I want you off the premises," she demanded.

"Yes, of course," he smirked.

Immediately, she moved to the door.

"You need time to consider," he nodded, "Only don't take too long."

He stood up, picking up the briefcase. As soon as he was standing straight, she threw the door open so he could leave. Gesturing towards the paper, he grinned at her.

"Oh, and, erm, you can keep that. There's plenty more where that came from."

"I don't expect you to see or speak to me again."

She could hear Eddie speaking to Bridget outside. As they left, she saw him hand Bridget a large pile of paperwork. Rachel was glad to see him, knowing he would be reasonable. Eddie stopped talking when he saw the two leave her office. Looking at Rachel, she could see he had cheered up considerably. Her pleasure at seeing him quickly changed to embarrassment, not wanting to be seen with Hordley at any cost. Eddie glanced between the two expectantly.

"Eddie Lawson, my deputy," she introduced. "Er, Mr Hordley."

Hordley shook Eddie's hand, pleasantly. "Stuart, please."

Eddie shook his hand happily. "Nice to meet you, Stuart."

"Stuart is a developer," she explained. "He's bidding for the building work."

Eddie nodded in response. Wanting Hordley to leave, she looked at Eddie.

"He was leaving."

"I was just getting a feel for the place." Stuart spoke over her.

"Good for you," approved Eddie.

"I'm really impressed by this new key skills programme. You're the one whose co-ordinating it, aren't you?"

"Runs itself really," shrugged Eddie, evidently flattered, "But, yeah, it's coming along."

"I hope you wouldn't mind if I could sit in on a lesson. It would really help to see things from a client's point of view."

She quickly cut in; trying to send some kind of sign to both men that Hordley had to leave.

"I don't think that's appropriate," she excused, "It's a bit short notice."

Rachel stared at Eddie, hoping he would get the hint. He was too overwhelmed by the thought of his programme getting noticed that he didn't even see her looking at him.

"Well, I've got my lessons for life meeting now. He can sit in on that if he likes."

She looked back at Stuart, her eyes narrowing.

"I thought you were going," she prompted.

"No, not straight away." He looked at Eddie. "That would be great."

"I think you'll find it interesting," Eddie beamed, checking his watch, "And it kicks off any second now so…"

Leading Hordley away, Rachel stared after them, gulping. Before he left, Stuart glanced briefly over his shoulder at her, smirking.

* * *

Rachel was standing by the window an hour later, the paper in her hand. She turned around a few times before sitting down. Staring at the paper, her eyes kept on scanning over the same parts. Picking up the phone, she took a shaky breath.

"P-Police."

She was silent for a moment as she waited for the line to connect.

"Hello? I-I, erm… I…"

As her hand started to quiver, she slammed the phone down. Sighing heavily, her eyes were still focused on the paper.

* * *

Entering the staffroom, Rachel noticed Eddie talking to Grantly. Stuart was still there, standing in the kitchen area with Jasmine and Matt. What Grantly was ranting about, she had no idea, but she caught the end of it.

"As long as our censorious senior management aren't afraid of me telling it how it is."

When he saw her behind him, he hurriedly held his laptop up over his face. Rachel hardly took any notice. She had more important things to worry about than what Grantly Budgen thought of her. Seeing Stuart, she was still concerned he was there.

"Mr Hordley, you are still with us."

Stuart seemed surprised by her hostile attitude, annoying her more.

"Yeah, Eddie asked me to stick around a bit."

Eddie took the opportunity to update her on his plans.

"Stuart has offered to sit in our mock interviews this afternoon."

He smiled at her, proud of himself for making the deal. She knew he wanted her approval but she couldn't bring herself to give it to him.

"Ah, well, that's great," she muttered, "Erm, aren't we taking too much of your time up?"

"No, it's not a problem," Stuart shrugged, "I'm happy to do it."

She glanced at Eddie who wasn't looking at her. He wasn't going to be much help. Why was he sometimes so clueless? Frustrated, she took a step back while glaring at Stuart.

"Can I have a quick word with you?"

He nodded. "Sure."

They moved over to the other side of the staffroom. Rachel purposefully led him there so they didn't seem suspicious by leaving the room but none of the staff could hear them. Spinning around, she was starting to lose her temper.

"I think you should make your apologies and go."

He raised his eyebrows, amused at her reaction.

"You get a budget of three million a year, sixty odd staff. It's quite a responsibility. I have the same problem. I need that job so get on the phone to your friend and get my bid reinstated. Otherwise, this lot get to find out who you really are."

He smiled condescendingly at her before walking away. Rachel watched his retreating form, worried that he would say something that could ruin everything she had worked for. She couldn't let him stay.

* * *

Rachel held her breath as she walked down the corridor. She desperately needed to see Eddie, hurrying towards his classroom. After everything that had happened, she needed someone to confide in. She stopped at his door, peering inside. She could hear him talking about fractions to a rather bored class. Standing there, she was too scared to say anything or even knock. He noticed her at the door as she stepped back. Trailing off, he stopped altogether.

"Alright, just wait here."

He opened the door. Scared she had annoyed him, she held up her hands.

"Sorry, sorry to interrupt." He closed the door behind him, shrugging lightly. Rachel clasped her hands together, her fingers rubbing the back of her hands. There was an awkward pause. "Stuart Hordley. Has he-has he said anything?"

"About?" he laughed.

"About, you know, the contract, the bid. Me? Has he said anything?" she pressured.

"No." He frowned, staring down at her. "Knows his stuff though, gotta give him that. He wants this big time."

"Yeah," she whispered.

She looked around, wishing they were alone. He had a class to get to and she had other responsibilities, there was no time to stand and chat. Eddie's phone beeped. While he was looking at it, Rachel was hoping she could reach the point of why she was there.

"Eddie, I think I might need to ask your, erm, your advice about something."

His concentration was still on the phone.

"Listen to this," he scoffed, "Soz. Soz! About this morning."

"What?" she cried, momentarily confused.

"I'm not texting her back, that's for sure."

Rachel blinked. "Who?"

"Alison," he rambled, "She probably wants me to send her some sort of reassuring message because she…"

She pressed her fingertips to her forehead, closing her eyes.

"Eddie!" she snapped, "Where did Hordley go?"

"Grantly's giving him the grand tour," he explained. He scrutinised her for a moment. "Then he might pop in to Jasmine's class."

She raised her hands, rolling her eyes. It seemed he wasn't going to listen to her.

"Thank you."  
She walked away, unable to hide her irritation. As she went round the corner, she could still feel Eddie's gaze on her.

Rachel was sat in her office when she heard the door to the anti-chamber open. Rushing out of her office, she heard Grantly and Stuart talking.

"Right," exclaimed Grantly, "And here end-eth the grand tour."

"Well, thank you," smiled Stuart, "Your input was infallible."

They shook hands in a friendly manner.

"You'd be a shoe in if I was making the decision," nodded Grantly.

"Yes, and you're not," she corrected him.

She smiled widely, letting him know that he should be leaving. Grantly stared blankly at her before turning abruptly. Once he had left, she noticed Stuart smiling at her.

"My deputy is on his way," she told him, "So if you could make your excuses and leave."

"We still have a phone call to make."

"I haven't forgotten. I'll be in contact. Now go."

She moved towards her office, hoping she never had to see him again.

"I promised those kids an interview," he argued.

Rachel halted, looking over her shoulder. Her eyebrows knitted together as her mouth downturned. "Oh, you're a man of your word, of course."

"You and I may have our differences but there's no reason I can't deliver for those kids of yours," he argued, "There's no reason to be bitter."

As he said the last sentence, Eddie entered the anti-chamber, striding as he always did. Having caught the end, he paused.

"Who's bitter?" he asked.

"No one." Smiling in reassurance, Rachel walked towards the both of them. "Actually, Stuart was just going…"

"I have a proposition," announced Stuart.

Eddie's head shot up, interested. "Yeah?"

"We're looking for a junior to help us every week after school." He glanced quickly at Rachel. "I could, if you would like, make these interviews real."

"That would be fantastic!" cried Eddie. He looked over at her, irritated she wasn't agreeing with him. "Unless Miss Mason has any philosophical objections."

"It's not the done thing, is it Amanda?" Stuart pretended to be taken aback by his mistake. "Sorry. Rachel."

She noticed Eddie was staring in confusing at Stuart before his expression returned to neutral. He forgot as fast as he noticed. Rachel smiled nervously, looking down at the floor. She was starting to panic. It was as if she were drowning quickly but every time she reached out for help, she was pushed further under.

"Well, it's the done thing for me," Eddie piped up.

She looked back up, her face turning as cheerful as always. It didn't matter what happened, she was still in the workplace and she had to be professional.

"We'd be very grateful, Mr Hordley. I can't think of a better way to show what a difference this school could make in their lives."

As she said it, she realised she sounded out of breath.

* * *

Rachel was followed by Stuart into her office where he continued to question her on various topics. Eddie had left to teach a class, ignorant of her wistful expressions. Stuart had perched himself on the edge of the round table. She had her back to him, not wanting to look at him for too long.

"If this goes well, who knows how many of your pupils we'll end up taking on board?" he chatted.

She turned round, watching him carefully.

"How long have you known Tess Doyle?" she asked, not interested in his small talk.

"Just make the call and I'll be out of your hair."

Rachel looked over to the window, avoiding eye contact. "If I get them to reconsider your bid, what happens if you don't get the contract? There's nothing I can do if they award it to another firm."

"That won't happen," he affirmed.

He leant forward, uncomfortably close. A knock on the door interrupted their conversation. Eddie pushed the door open, noticing the short space between them. His eyes flashed from one to the other. Embarrassed, Rachel looked away. She was sure he might get the wrong impression.

"Stuart, lunch before you face them?"

"Yeah," nodded Stuart. "That would be great." He stood. "Let's hope these kids don't end up eating me alive."

Rachel followed the two out of the office. "There's an idea," she muttered. He glanced at her, raising his eyebrows. "Oops."

Before anything else could be said, Candice appeared.

"Hiya," she smiled.

"Hey," greeted Eddie.

Candice spotted Rachel, rushing towards her.

"C-Could I have a quick word, please?"

"Candice, what is it, yeah?" she snapped.

She stared after Hordley, not entirely listening to what Candice had to say. Even if he hadn't said anything yet, Rachel didn't want even a mention of anything to Eddie, especially after he called her the wrong name on purpose.

"It's about these lessons for thing, thingy that you've got our Bolton involved in."

Rachel returned her attention to Candice. "Lessons for life. I spoke to you about that earlier."

"Yeah," Candice acknowledged, "and I was washing lettuces for two hundred kids who are going to leave it outside. I might have misheard a detail or two."

Looking at Candice, Rachel closed her eyes, sighing.

"Okay. Well, we've created this group focusing on key skills and practising…"

"Yeah, I know all that," interrupted Candice.

Rachel noticed how it was a pattern that day that nobody seemed to be listening to her. Pressing her fingers together, they rested against her chin. She closed her eyes again, starting to feel mentally exhausted.

"It's the job bit I missed," Candice prompted.

"Oh, well, that's a new development. Candidates are being interviewed this afternoon."

She moved to step around the dinner lady but Candice only followed her movement.

"Oh, thanks," she beamed, "Thanks for putting our Bolton forward. He's dead excited. He keeps on going on about helping to chip in for food and that."

Rachel couldn't help but genuinely smile. She loved to hear how well Bolton was progressing, particularly after their agreement. He had done well to keep up so far. Even so, she didn't want to raise their hopes.

"Well, it's only a few hours a week and I don't know how much they're going to pay him. Please don't get your hopes up. It might not even happen."

Candice couldn't help smiling. "It's going to make a man of him. It's the chance we've been waiting for. Thanks."

With an affirming nod, Candice left Rachel alone, brimming with excitement. Rachel raised her eyes to the ceiling, sighing slowly. Knowing she should leave Stuart alone for the time being, she returned back to the sanctuary of her office.

* * *

After the break, Rachel was bombarded with files to sign after Bridget returned from lunch. To save her secretary from moving to and fro, she moved to stand by the desk, leaning against the wall while Bridget held up a clipboard with yellow paper attached to it.

"Rachel, I just need you to sign these three letters, okay? Just here, here and here."

She pointed to the various lines where Rachel had to place her signature. Rachel nodded, taking the clipboard slowly off of her.

"And can I leave the rest till later?" she asked.

After the day she'd had, she didn't want to sit going through various files that had been piled on her desk for a long time. Bridget gave her a knowing look, nodding.

"Sure."

Rachel was sure she was a secretary sent straight from heaven. As Bridget waited patiently for her to sign the papers, the door to the anti-chamber swung open. A man that neither recognised stormed in, halting in front of the two.

"You're the boss," he cried, "I need to talk to you now."

Rachel was taking aback for a moment, still leaning against the wall. Her secretary was quick to react.

"Look, you need to make an appointment," Bridget seethed.

Standing up straight, Rachel glared at the man under lowered lids.

"Is there something I can do for you?" she questioned, quietly.

She was starting to get tired of men asserting their authority.

"Yeah, you can sort out that little tramp you have working with my son."

"I'm sorry?" Rachel snapped, "You are?"

"I'm Darren Brigg's dad."

Darren Brigg was a student with additional needs. He had problems with dyslexia and learning difficulties. Realising this was going to be a sensitive subject, Rachel decided to keep as calm as possible. Darren needed a lot of support.

"Okay, Mr Brigg. Come in."

She gestured towards the office, deciding to keep the clipboard for later. Pressing her back against the door, she let Mr Briggs move past. Once he was inside, she raised her eyebrows at Bridget, who returned the gesture. Rachel closed the door behind them.

"So, who's your complaint about?" she asked.

She knew who it might be. Out of all the teachers, Davina worked the closest with him. Davina worked closely with all pupils who needed additional support. She'd been helping Darren recently since he was sitting his mock exams.

"Perverts like her shouldn't be allowed near my kids."

Realising the brevity of the conversation, Rachel placed the clipboard down on the rounded table, moving to sit behind her desk.

"Right. Take a seat," she suggested.

"It's Shackleton. Davina Shackleton."

He sat down opposite her. She ran her eyes over him, noticing his rather arrogant demeanour.

"Can you tell me what Miss Shackleton has done to offend you?"

He scoffed, rolling his eyes. Rachel pursed her lips together.

"I thought she was a bit low cut, high rise on parent's evening. I can cope with a bit of flirting but not when she's all over my fourteen-year old son."

Rachel sat back, her lips parting. She realised the accusation that was being constructed and was worried what that meant for not only Davina but the school. Although she hadn't been there long, Rachel trusted Davina immensely.

"Now, I want her sacked today," he demanded, "Right now."

"If you can explain exactly what happened, Mr Brigg," she ordered.

"Well, she touched him up."

Rachel couldn't help but grimace. She didn't believe him but she realised she had to do the correct thing and follow the procedures.

"You're suggesting that Miss Shackleton touched your son inappropriately?"

He blinked rapidly; somehow surprised she had asked that question.

"Yeah," he confirmed.

She stared at him, not sure what to say.

"That's exactly what I'm sayin'," he added.

"That's a very serious accusation."

He sat straighter, staring defiantly at her. Looking at him, Rachel could tell it wasn't going to be easy to reason with him.

"Okay," she nodded, "Well, let me explain the formal procedures I've got to take." Mr Briggs frowned, obviously surprised. "You will be required to write a formal statement telling how…"

"Oh, typical," he exclaimed.

Rachel tried desperately not to roll her eyes. It seemed she was going to be continually ignored and interrupted that day. Mr Briggs jumped from the chair, heading for the door. She didn't even try to stop him.

"Yeah, go on," he shouted, "You hide behind your procedures."

She watched after him, blinking rapidly before sinking into her chair. All of the fuss wasn't wanted or needed. As she took a shaky breath, she noticed Bridget's head appear round the side of the door.

"You alright?" she asked.

* * *

Rachel knew she had to sort the problem with Davina first. She shouldn't give herself time to reflect on her personal issues. Walking past the conference room, she hoped Eddie had seen her. She caught a glimpse of Bolton entering the room, dressed formally in a suit. He entered the room, grinning in confidence. She smiled at Candice, proud of the effort he had made. Candice seemed to feel exactly the same. She saw Eddie about to follow Bolton.

"Eddie, have you seen Davina?"

"No." He glanced over at the line of students outside the room, waiting for their interview. "Is there a problem?"

"No, it's fine," she denied, remembering that he ignored her earlier, "I just need to speak to her. Do you know what? I don't think this is a good idea."

"What?" he grunted, "The interviews?"

"Well, him handing out jobs," she explained. "It's like he's trying to buy our influence."

"It's got nothing to do with the tendering process. You can't stop it now. Look at their little faces."

He made a show of looking over at the students who, Rachel had to admit, did look excited. She sighed, staring at them. Eddie knew she would make sure her students were happy, even if she didn't always agree with it. He noticed her worried stare, stepping closer.

"Are you okay?"

Now he noticed. She glared up at him, her mouth twisting.

"I'm fine." She glanced back over at the students. "Yeah, you're right."

She smiled in encouragement before walking away. As the students peered at her as she moved past, she tried to smile reassuringly at them.

* * *

Rachel eventually found Davina in an empty classroom with Jasmine. She could see they were talking but she figured she had priority because she was headmistress. Opening the door, they immediately fell silent when they saw her.

"Davina. Can I see you in my office now, please?"

She could see the panicked look Davina flashed at Jasmine but she said nothing, heading straight back to her office.

They were sitting at her desk five minutes later. Davina was on the other side, usually reserved for students and visitors. She was evidently nervous, her fingers wringing together. For the most part, she tried to avoid eye contact with Rachel but when she looked up, she smiled awkwardly.

"I, erm, I thought it was only pupils who got nervous."

She glanced up at her, hoping for some kind of reaction. Rachel was sitting rigidly in her chair. Staring widely at her, Rachel shook her head slowly. Davina tried to explain herself.

"You know," she smiled nervously, "when the head sent for them."

Rachel sat slightly forward, her chin resting on her curled hand.

"Look, can you just talk me through what happened between you and Darren Brigg in the English lesson?"

She put her hand down, leaning forward slightly to scrutinise Davina. The supply teacher looked sideways, realising what was happening. Her nerves didn't seem to be calmed by the question. Shaking her head, she turned back to Rachel.

"Nothing happened."

"Well, his father claims…" Rachel paused for a moment, unable to continue with Davina staring at her. "Apparently, Darren told his father that you touched him."

She could see Davina was startled.

"What do you mean touched?"

"You know what I mean," she sighed, "Touched him inappropriately."

She sat back, her eyebrows rising as she waited for an explanation. Davina suddenly started at the question, growing angry.

"What? No. No way. No, that is a complete lie. I wouldn't… Look, I think Darren Brigg's dad is just annoyed with me."

"Annoyed?" Rachel shuffled forward in her seat. "Why?"

"Well, because he likes me and h-he's been asking me out, and he's brought me flowers, and…"

Rachel sat forward, her elbows resting on the desk. Seeing the movement, Davina's courage faltered and she was suddenly embarrassed to speak to the head.

"Er, okay," she pressed on, "I've text him a couple of times."

Rachel felt her lips part in astonishment. She couldn't believe someone as intelligent as Davina could be that stupid.

"But I've told him I'm not interested." She paused, trying to gage Rachel's reaction. Rachel was only staring at her, wide eyed. "And so he obviously is not good with rejection, and, erm…."

She stopped on a whisper, unable to look for very long at her boss.

"So, you're telling me this is all about some fling that you've had with one of the parents?" questioned Rachel.

"No, no," she protested, "I never went near him."

"But you've been receiving texts from him and he's been giving you flowers?"

Davina blinked rapidly, staring down at the floor.

"Look, there is nothing going on between us."

"Whatever has happened," Rachel shouted, "it has blown up in our faces because he is accusing you of sexually assaulting his son and if he goes ahead with this, it will mean police involvement. It's going to mean suspension."

Davina shook her head slowly, unable to respond. Rachel realised how harsh she was being. Of course, Davina knew where she was in the wrong and Mr Brigg was evidently trying to cause trouble. Rachel just didn't have the patience that day to deal with the issue. Taking a deep breath, she calmed down.

"Davina, I'm sorry."

She sat back, trying to think clearly. Davina was scratching her chin, staring anywhere but at Rachel. Rachel was sorry she had lost her temper.

"I'm sorry," she spoke softly, "But you must understand I have got to follow this up. He hasn't made a formal complaint yet but I'm warning you, just prepare yourself."

She doubted there would be any complaint, considering his reaction earlier and the fact that she believed the story to be untrue. Even so, she didn't know Mr Brigg well enough to say that was what would happen. Davina nodded timidly.

"I swear, Rachel. I'm not lying to you about this."

Rachel looked down at her desk, finding herself unsure of what to say.

"So, what?" Davina asked, "What now? It's my word against his, is it?"

"No." Rachel shook her head. "We'll deal with it. You can't let this guy ruin your career."

Davina peered over to the window, upset at the realisation that that was exactly what Mr Brigg could do.

* * *

Rachel was called through by Bridget who told her Eddie wanted her in the conference room. Apparently, he would like her to be there when they announced who had secured the job. She couldn't say no to that. Walking there immediately, she found all the students standing in a huddle before the two adults. Rachel avoided Stuart as much as possible, standing close to Eddie, almost hiding behind him, arms crossed.

"Well, you all did really well," complimented Stuart, "but I've decided to give the post to Bolton."

Bolton grinned, glancing around his peers in surprise. There was a steady murmur through the small group but there were no angry reactions. Rachel glanced at Eddie, who returned the gesture. He smiled proudly. She was happy for Bolton, naturally, but was worried that he would be working for Stuart.

"No way, man," Bolton cried.

Stuart walked around the tables to shake Bolton's hand.

"I don't believe it," laughed Bolton, "Ah, that is wicked, man. Good choice."

Rachel started to clap, wanting him to know they supported him. As they all started to clap, Bolton glanced over. She smiled widely, nodding in encouragement. He smiled back.

"Good choice," he repeated.

Eddie strode over to Bolton, shaking his hand too. "Congratulations, Bolton."

Rachel called over. "Well done, Bolton."

He beamed. "Thanks, Miss."

One of the students, Michaela, rolled her eyes. She was another one with behavioural issues. "Can we go now, sir?"

Eddie moved over to speak to them before they left. With his back turned, Stuart took the time to stand close to Rachel, bending over her.

"It's amazing how putting a little faith in someone can make all the difference, ay?"

"Oh, what a noble thing you've done, Mr Hordley," she chided.

She looked over at Eddie, wishing he'd notice that she needed his help.

"Hm, you have a phone call to make," he reminded her.

"Yeah, well, I'm not going to make it."

Stuart stared at Bolton, musing over his choice.

"Eddie tells me you've put a lot of work in with that lad."

Scared for Bolton, she glanced in his direction. He was still speaking to Eddie, glowing with happiness. She could hear faintly what Eddie was saying as he patted him on the back.

"I'm impressed," Stuart smirked, "It would be a shame to see that all go to waste."

She stood straighter, staring up at him. Even though she guessed what he was saying, she was too worried to consider the implications for the boy.

"You see, with a lad like Bolton, it's all about building his confidence with proper training and support."

"Sorry?" Rachel panicked, "What are you saying?"

"What I'm saying is that it will take about a week to undo all the work you and Mr Lawson have done."

Bolton was walking out of the door when he turned to look at the both of them. He signalled the peace sign, thanking Rachel and Stuart once more. Rachel stared after him as he walked past the classroom.

* * *

Once the school bell had rung, she waited until most of the students had gone to return to her office. Convincing the board to reinstate Hordley's bid was proving hard but she reasoned she had no other choice.

"Look, his plans for the place are exactly what I-I want. Well, at least let him have the chance to set out his bid. If he doesn't match up then fine, get rid of him. Oh, come on, George. What building ever comes in on budget? Well, at least he's not trying to disguise his costs." Hearing his response, she sighed in relief. "Thank you, George. You'll have your reward in heaven." She laughed, mostly out of giddiness. "Yes, I know. Yes, I'll see you later. You too."

Putting the phone down, she kept her gaze on the desk, wanting to be alone. She didn't look at Stuart, painfully aware of his presence opposite.

"See how easy that was," he reasoned.

Looking up, her gaze darkened. "Goodbye."

Shrugging, Stuart started to pack his paperwork away. "Well, it's so nice to finally meet you after hearing so much about you from Tess." He stood, pausing at the door. "Good old Bolton, eh? You did a good job with him."

With a final smirk, he left, slamming the door shut behind him.

* * *

Rachel was sitting at the round table, reviewing the plans for the new building when Eddie walked in. She had hoped he would have gone home. Usually, she enjoyed him joining her but she didn't want company after the day she'd had, especially from Eddie.

"Hey, listen to this," he exclaimed, holding his phone. He started to read from it. "'I'm going to London next weekend. Can you look after Michael, please?' Can you believe it?"

She smiled up at him, trying to remain pleasant.

"It's like I'm a supply nanny or something," he ranted.

She looked back down at her plans, knowing she couldn't concentrate on them any longer.

"Well, at least you two are communicating now," she said, softly.

Her speech died away. Instead of talking, she started to fold her paper up busily. Eddie noticed her unusual behaviour, stuffing his phone back into his pocket.

"You alright?"

"Yep, fine."

He watched her curiously.

"You seem a bit off today."

"No, no," she insisted, "I'm alright." She stood, walking past him. "I just, er…" She closed the door in case anybody happened to linger in the anti-chamber. "I don't want us getting too friendly with any of these contractors."

Eddie shrugged. "Mr Hordley. He could be good for us."

She sighed in response, rolling her eyes. All day he hadn't listened to her and Stuart was not the man Eddie believed him to be.

"He's a businessman," she reasoned. "He thinks in money. I already feel compromised enough giving him the run of this place."

"Yeah, alright."

By the way he avoided her eye; she could tell he was going to ignore her.

"No, I'm serious, Eddie. I don't want this school associated with any hint of corruption."

"Corruption?" he scoffed.

Her foot tapped fast against the floor as she folded her arms tightly.

"We don't know this guy from Adam so we say thank you very much for what you've done today, and we leave it at that. I don't want him on the premises again."

Before he could argue with her, there was a knock at the door. Rachel was scared it was Stuart again, nearly stepping behind Eddie. The person behind it wasn't Stuart but Bolton. He appeared, still in his suit with Candice behind him, pushing him inside.

"Go on," she urged.

Bolton was holding a bunch of flowers tightly. He stepped up to Rachel, shoving them close to her face. "These are for you, Miss."

She smiled down at them, taking them from him. They were exactly what she needed to brighten her day. Seeing Bolton progress so well, especially after the trip, made everything worthwhile.

"Thank you very much, Bolton." She turned them round in her hand. "But why?"

He looked over at Candice expectantly.

"Because you got him a job," she explained.

"I didn't get him the job," laughed Rachel, "He got it himself."

Smiling at him, he blushed. He stared at her for a moment before rapidly looking between her and the wall.

"W-w…I…See you tomorrow, Miss."

Nodding awkwardly, Bolton rushed out of the office. Candice and Rachel laughed, sharing a smile. Once the door had closed behind Candice, Rachel walked towards her desk, staring thoughtfully at the flowers.

"Why would he give Bolton the job?" she mused.

"His indefinable spark?" Eddie grunted.

She could tell he was annoyed, upset that he was irritated with her after the day she'd had. He couldn't see what was wrong with Stuart. Rachel sat down, holding tightly on to the flowers.

"The suit?" he continued, "Look, even if you're not sure about Stuart, look how chuffed he's made Bolton. He's perfect for this school, Rachel."

With that, he left with a slam of the door.

* * *

An hour later, she was hurrying through the empty school corridors; head down as she searched for the car keys in her pocket.

Her hand reached outwards to push open the door in front of her. As her fingers pressed against the door, it was opened by someone else. Looking up, she saw Stuart standing before her.

"Ah, Miss Mason. Well, thanks to you I am officially back in the running."

She looked sideways, nodding. "So, it's all worked out for you," she muttered, "Erm, we've really got nothing more to say to each other."

Scared of being alone with him, she tried to move past him but he stepped in front of her, blocking the doorway.

"I really admire your spirit. Your word is your bond."

She glanced around, wanting to be anywhere but there.

"But you and I haven't quite finished," he continued, "Now that I am back in the running; I need you to actually make sure I win that contract."

She stared up at him, incredulously.

"You can do that for me, can't you, Amanda?"

He walked away, as smug as he had been previously. She stared after him, unable to perceive what had happened. After everything that had occured that day, she had hoped she would never see him again. Evidently, he was going to be staying longer than anticipated.

* * *

 _21_ _st_ _January 2008_

 _Dear Eddie,_

 _I am surprised to say this but you disappointed me today. After everything that had happened, I needed you this once. I'm not a woman to ask much from anyone and I certainly don't expect to be looked after constantly, yet I was in desperate want of your support and care. I'd like to think I gave you that support when you needed it. Sadly, I couldn't say the same for you._

 _There has to be some recognition that you didn't understand what was happening. You saw this as an opportunity to advantage our students so I must applaud your intuitive. However, you trust too easily, being a man of good will. You expect the same from every person. Sadly, this isn't always the case, seen in Mr Hordley and you missed the most vital aspect of all- he is a terrible man, Eddie. He didn't do all of this from the good of his heart and he is certainly not interested in helping our students. I wish I could have made you see that today, rather than anger you._

 _It started a normal day with a rather lovely start, despite your initial moodiness. It was nice to hear you so active in Michael's life, even if you were arguing with Alison. You are obviously seeing your son more and working issues out with your ex-wife, which is what I had hoped for. I am happy for you. I liked hearing about all of the ups and downs, even if there seem to be more downs recently. After everything, I want you to know I am proud that you can confide in me. It makes me happy._

 _I had hoped for a nice day. You know, it had seemed that way before Bridget came running out to greet me. The only problem seemed the amount of paperwork I had to do, which, mind you, I still have not done. Then there was Stuart. I told you before that Tess Doyle appearing in the school production was not a coincidence, especially once my personal file had gone missing. I had a bad feeling about it. It's been three weeks since it has gone and I haven't found it anywhere. What worries me is that my file, papers that cover my whole life, are stuck with a man who will abuse that power terribly. You know I haven't had the best past and I've done so many things I'm not proud of. He knows what I've done. He knows that it will ruin absolutely everything I have worked for._

 _By giving me my papers for my legal name change, he is letting me know he has everything he needs to ruin me. He calls me by my birth name-Amanda. That was my name, Eddie, before I became who I am now. Amanda Fenshaw was a young girl who had nothing and did vile things to change that. Nothing did change. It wasn't until I officially became Rachel Mason did anything change at all. They gave me the choice to pick what I wanted. Rachel was the name of a woman I had once admired. She was a nurse, working tirelessly to benefit others. When I was younger, I looked up to her. She was the only person I looked up to then. So I took her name, hoping it would give me luck and I chose Mason because it originates from the stoneworkers. I needed that strength and I wanted to be strong. That name change was the beginning to being strong, to not be that frightened young girl who was used and abused._

 _Little does he know that Amanda used to wash herself every night and morning, scrubbing her skin until it was bright pink, hoping it would remove the dirt from her, that she wouldn't be filthy anymore. She would try and cover herself in perfume in the hope that she wouldn't smell of sin. Little does he know she would cry herself to sleep every night, working endlessly to try and support herself and her little sister. She would take beatings, turn black and blue, throw up nearly every day and drink herself stupid to keep her 'boyfriend' happy._

 _When he called me Amanda, it took me back there. He tried to degrade me. Little does he know that he couldn't degrade me further. I have done so many bad things that it doesn't matter in that sense. He can try and degrade me all he wants but I cannot be sunk any lower. I'm not Amanda anymore. I am Rachel Mason._

 _Even so, I am terrified. My whole career is at risk and I'm afraid of what everyone will think of me. They say you can't run from your past. I believed I could. Look what's happened now. After everything, I was hoping I had started a good life for me, that although I'm destined to be alone, I at least have the respectable career. Turns out I probably won't have that anymore either. I don't want to see the staff's faces when they hear what I've done and the person I was. I don't want to see your disappointment in me. Please don't be disappointed. I don't think I could take it._

 _To make matters worse, I'm worried about Bolton. He's done such an amazing job since the trip to prison. He has turned up every day, looked fairly smart, participated, even though he can still be outspoken and cheeky. That effort was evident today when he turned up in a suit. Guaranteed it was borrowed but he wants to change. That is enough for me. I couldn't have been prouder of him, something you mistook today. You thought I was upset he had been offered the job, that Bolton had no talent worth nurturing. We both know that's not true. There is nothing more I want than for Bolton to succeed but under Hordley's watch? I don't think so. Hordley will mistreat him, I know it. What am I to say? He was so happy. Candice was happy, and you, you were happy. How could I ruin that? How can I prevent him from making his own way in life? What reason can I give you three for not allowing him to have experience in the world of work? I could not say, unless I was to give away that Hordley is blackmailing me. Then you'd want to know why and I can't risk that._

 _Today has been full of my being ignored and dismissed. Only poor Bridget tried to take notice of me today. Bless her, she did try. I hate to say that there is nothing that I can confide to her in reality but I do appreciate her effort. So, we shall see what happens with Hordley. Hopefully, there will be a miracle and I won't ever see or hear from him again, and we can carry on as we've always been._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Rachel x_


	8. Chapter 8

The car park was fairly empty when the silver Audi pulled into the school gates, stopping as close to an entrance as possible. Rachel was glad for the peace. Her mind had been in turmoil since Hordley had arrived. As soon as the engine ceased, her phone started to beep. She hoped it was someone more inviting, yet she knew who it would be. Groaning, she glanced down to see Hordley's name flashed on the screen.

 **Good luck today. Remember our agreement.**

She snapped the phone down, huffing. Adjusting the mirror to look at her reflection, she swept her fringe nervously. She had tried hard to look good that day. It was vital to make a good impression to secure the contract for the building, something she had been planning since being asked to Waterloo Road. Nobody was going to take that away from her. She had plans and all that changed was the constructor who won the bid. Running her fingers across her eyebrows, Rachel hoped it was good enough.

* * *

As she hurried down the corridor, she noticed a group of boys fighting further down by the lockers. One of those boys was Paul Langley. After all of his good behaviour since the trip, she was disappointed to see he was involved. Running over, she struggled slightly since she was carrying an armful of folders and two bags.

"Hey," she shouted.

They all started to run in different directions, including Paul. Unluckily for him, he wasn't fast enough.

"Paul."

Some of the boys ran into her side, knocking her folders onto the floor. With her attention on Paul, she didn't even notice them.

"What is going on?" she screeched.

He stopped at the top of the stairs, clearly frightened by her anger.

"Er, nothing, Miss," he shrugged.

He ran the rest of the way up the stairs, dashing across the corridors as the bell rang. She stared after him, annoyed that he had caused a problem already. It wasn't the kind of problem she needed that day.

* * *

While the students were in registration, Rachel took the short time of peace to sort some of her paperwork. She was putting a file back into her filing cabinet when she heard a knock at the door. Bridget appeared, quite alarmed by something. Rachel turned to look at her, worried there was a problem already.

"Stuart Hordley is here," Bridget whispered.

Rachel couldn't help but panic, considering the importance of the day.

"Really?" she frowned.

"I thought it was odd," Bridget agreed, "Shall I send him away? It doesn't seem right, not today."

Rachel looked down at the carpet, knowing she had to see him. Gulping, she shook her head. "No," she shuddered. "You know what? It's probably some technical thing. Send him in. It's fine."

Bridget smiled at her, trying to lift the sudden sombre mood.

"Okay," she said softly.

Rachel smiled back, moving over to her desk. She wanted something solid between the two of them. Before she could sit down, she heard his voice.

"Hi." He looked her up and down appreciatively, closing the door. "I'm glad I caught you before the bid meeting."

"One last chance to twist the knife," she sniffed.

"Oh, come on," he laughed, "Don't be so melodramatic. I just wanted to check in on you and check we were singing from the same hymn sheet."

She sat down, trying to look anywhere but at him. "I don't have a choice."

"Of course you do." He walked over to the window, taking notice of the students below. "You can follow your conscious and choose whoever you like." His attention moved back to her. "But then I would have to follow my conscious and tell the school that their beloved head teacher is not quite the woman they think she is."

She stared down at her desk, holding her breath. From the corner of her eye, she saw him sit down on the sofas on the other side of the room.

"It's not easy keeping a secret like that, is it?"

She looked over, trying to smile. "Do you know the ironic thing is that I would have probably backed your bid anyway? Without all this."

He sat back, surprised at her admittance.

"Well, there you go then. It's no big deal. Everyone is happy."

Her eyes widened. Shaking her head, she kept her gaze down. She had to keep on reminding himself that if he got the bid then she shouldn't have to see him ever again.

* * *

She left her office, noticing Eddie leaving his classroom. Since Stuart had been involved in Waterloo Road, there had been a slight distant between the two of them that hadn't been there for a while. Even so, she was glad to see him.

"You off?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm late already."

She was annoyed she had allowed herself to be late. Stuart had taken up her time and once she was alone, she had needed a while to calm down. He still scared her immensely. The two started down the stairs together. She clutched her keys and handbag tightly in her grip, desperate to get into her car as fast as she could. Eddie was still flicking through a folder absentmindedly . She was reminded of Paul, knowing Eddie was the teacher to speak to.

"Listen, I think we might have a problem with the lessons for life group," she told him, "I've just seen them being taunted by some other kids."

"Really?" She could tell he wasn't that bothered. "Aren't they big and ugly enough to look after themselves?"

"That's hardly the point," she snapped, "We wouldn't tolerate it with anyone else in this school."

They reached the end of the stairs, turning around the corner. She looked up at him, frowning in concentration.

"Shall we set up a support group? Let them share?" He waved his hands in the air, rolling his eyes to show her just how much he disapproved.

She knew he had missed the point, huffing and struggling to match his pace.

"Huh," she retorted, "You know, I just want it sorted." Looking at him, she noticed he wasn't even looking at her. "I want the kids to get the same as everyone else, yeah? And if you can't handle it then I'll sort it out when I get back."

He finally turned to look at her. By that time, she had stormed ahead. Eddie jogged to catch up with her.

"Okay. Leave it to me." He paused for a second. "You alright?"

She closed her eyes, slowing down.

"Oh, I'm sorry. It's just this whole building process is really getting me down."

"Well, you've convinced the LEA you need it," he shrugged, "That's the easy bit. It doesn't matter who builds it."

She couldn't understand why he was so blasé all the time about everything, except Michael. He didn't even look worried. Clicking her tongue, she couldn't help but disapprove.

"That's easy for you to say," she exclaimed, "I already had Stuart Hordley knocking on my door this morning."

"That's not a bad thing," he sighed, "At least he's keen."

She glanced over at him, trying not to show just how irritated she was. Stuart had kept in frequent contact with Eddie since he had first appeared, claiming interest in the lessons for life programme. Since she hadn't guessed what he was up to, Rachel decided to leave it.

"Yeah, his bid is pretty good," she admitted.

Eddie nodded, pleased with himself. "Yeah, well, there you go, see. Nice bloke too. Seems really switched on."

"Let's hope the LEA agree, hey?"

Eddie slowed down, staring ahead. She followed his gaze, spotting Steph at the end of the corridor. The French teacher was struggling to walk whilst carrying a box of French food, two carrier bags and her handbag. When she noticed the two, she beamed, evidently having enjoyed her trip for the past week. Rachel was not in the mood to hear about Steph's supposed hard work whilst in France.

"Oh, here we go," muttered Eddie, "The wonderer returns."

Steph laughed as she got closer, walking fast towards them.

"Bonjour," she cried, "à vous deux. Comment allez-vous?"

Eddie looked her up and down in amusement, trying to remain serious. "Seems like someone had a good time."

Rachel grinned at him. Steph, however, didn't notice his sudden perk of mood, laughing with him.

"Good, Eddie, but busy."

He raised his eyebrows, glancing at Rachel. She was staring in beguilement. When she noticed Eddie's eyes on her, they shared a knowing smirk.

"Captains of industry," Steph continued, "Cultural ambassadors, educationalists. All of them very interested in our proposals."

"Very interested?" he frowned, "As opposed to signing on the dotted line?"

"We'll have to see," she remarked, "There was one of them, Claude, from the cultural estrange commission. He is as good as in the bag and a handsome devil to boot."

Rachel could hear Eddie sniggering lightly, biting her lip to stop herself from following suite. Rolling her eyes, she nodded at Steph. Steph only took that as encouraging.

"I wouldn't be surprised if a hefty cheque wasn't winging its way to us as we speak."

"Oh, I hope so," agreed Rachel, "giving the costs of the trip."

"Oh, talking of which." She reached into the box to pull out a folded piece of paper from the top. Handing it over to Rachel, she didn't hide her apologetic smile. "My expenses."

Rachel checked it. With a sigh, she glared at Steph, her lips pursing. Steph noticed, shrugging.

"Well, I can't just rely on my feminine wiles, even though they have served me well up to this point, if the trip is anything to go by."

Eddie glanced sideways, no longer trying to hide his laughter. Steph chuckled in encouragement as Rachel nudged Eddie lightly in warning.

"Well, I shall be in my office if any of you need me," Steph told them.

She walked between the two, waiting for them to part. As she tottered away, Rachel and Eddie turned to watch her leave. As she kept her eyes on Steph's retreating form, she felt Eddie step closer.

"My office?" he laughed, "I hope she doesn't mean pastoral care or she's in for a bit of a shock."

While Steph had been busy schmoozing, they had assigned the role to Tom Clarkson, knowing he would be a much better choice. With Steph having been away, she didn't yet know that job no longer belonged to her.

"Am I wrong to worry that Steph sees fundraising as a form of speed dating?" she questioned.

She frowned up at him. He didn't even notice, still chucking quietly.

"I wonder if this guy Claude actually exists," he mentioned.

Rachel couldn't help but giggle in response, leaning close to him without realising.

"Well," he shrugged, "She's finally found something she can put her back into."

Smiling widely, she looked up into his eyes, sniggering. When he met her gaze, she was almost startled, blushing.

"Eddie," she warned, her voice only a whisper.

He grinned. Feeling his strong gaze on her, she kept her eyes down, noticing the time on her watch. She moved to the front doors.

"I have really got to go," she sighed, "Do you know I feel like getting in that car and keep on driving?"

"Fine. Besides, if you don't go, they'll choose the cheapest option and we'll end up with a shed."

They paused at the door, staring at each other.

"Hm," she smiled blissfully. She'd forgotten that she was annoyed with him.

"Go on." He nodded towards the door. "We'll hold the fort."

She smiled one last time at him before running outside and down the steps.

* * *

Rachel almost broke the speed limit on the way to the LEA offices. All she could hear was the continuous ticking of the clock in her mind, making her bite her lip until it turned bloody. She was relieved to have made it when her phone started to ring. Usually she would have ignored it but it was Eddie. He wouldn't bother unless it was necessary.

"Hi, Eddie." When she heard what he said, she sat up in panic. Sighing heavily, she closed her eyes. "She did what?" From her peripheral vision, she noticed the subject in question walking past. "Er, no, let me deal with Janeece. I'll speak to you later."

Stepping out of her car, she kept her focus on Janeece so she wouldn't suddenly disappear. She checked her watch, huffing once more when she saw the time. She didn't have time for this. Running after her, Rachel was hoping to catch her in time. She was halfway up the stairs that led into town when Rachel caught up with her.

"Janeece," she yelled.

The girl turned around, smiling as if nothing were out of sorts.

"Where the hell are you going?"

Janeece's smile dropped. Rachel had to concede she actually looked quite upset.

"Aw, Miss, it wasn't my fault," she excused, "All they wanted me to do was sit on a bloody chair."

Rachel reasoned that didn't mean she had to lock her supervisor in the cupboard. Glaring at her, she stuck her hands on her hips. She took Janeece back to her car, asking her to get into the passenger seat. With another glance at her watch, she knew her pupils were the priority. The students were meant to be at work experience.

"He said I was useless," Janeece whined, "and that I would never amount to anything."

"Well, you've just about proved him right, haven't you?" she retorted.

Janeece clicked her tongue, shuffling so she faced the window. Sighing, Rachel kept her gaze steadily on the girl.

"In school, you can get away with a lot. Outside, you just gotta, you gotta grow up and be responsible."

"You sayin' this was my fault?" cried Janeece.

"Work is not fair. Some of it is going to be boring. Some of it is going to be hard and you'll meet people who will think the worst of you, and if you let them write you off then they will."

Janeece look ahead, her arms crossing in irritation.

"So you want me to go and apologise to Mr Dumb Arse?"

Rachel tried not to smile, knowing Janeece did not need encouraging. It would be best if she wasn't aware of how amused Rachel actually was.

"You better believe it," she demanded, "although I don't think they'll want to see you for quite some time, and I'm not about to beg them to change their mind because it took an awful lot to get you in at the first place."

Janeece sat forward abruptly. She had only just realised the consequences of what she had done and what that meant for her.

"But Miss, this is my future."

"Well, prove to me that you are serious about that."

"I am," she cried.

Rachel scrutinised her for a second, her eyes narrowing.

"Okay," she nodded, "Okay, we will go back to square one. You can join Maxine at Kirby Mills."

It was a little risqué as Maxine was Janeece's lifelong best friend. The two could possibly get up to more trouble, which wasn't what she wanted or needed. Even so, the supervisor at Kirby Mills was known to be strict, considering it was a home for the elderly. It was exactly what Janeece needed. Janeece didn't seem to think so, her head flinging back onto the head rest.

"You kidding?" she huffed, "Is there nothing else?"

"There was somewhere else, Janeece," she chastised, "and you blew it."

She heard her phone ringing. Picking it up, she checked the caller ID. It was George Philby, the man who was leading the meeting for the new building. Rachel knew she was going to have to answer. As she answered the call, Janeece sat back with her arms folded, staring ahead in defiance.

"Yes, hello. Yes, I know. I've been unavoidably detained." She looked across at Janeece accusingly. The girl noticed, glaring at her in disbelief. "Urgent school business." Janeece turned away. "I'm sorry. I will get there as soon as I can. Bye."

She snapped her phone shut, resting her head back.

"What's the point?" Janeece asked. Rachel sighed heavily in response. "Might as well wag off school for all the good it's worth."

"You will not," hissed Rachel, "You've embarrassed us all enough for one day." She threw her phone into her handbag, taking her keys back out. "I'll drive you there myself if that's what it's going to take." She turned the keys, listening to the engine start. "Put your seatbelt on."

Janeece followed her instructions silently; irritated her work experience had not gone as she had hoped.

* * *

Rachel eventually entered the meeting room with an apologetic smile. She was forty minutes late, her car keys still in her hand.

"I am so sorry I'm late," she apologised.

George Philby smiled condescendingly, his fingers knotting together.

"It must have been very important," he simpered, "After all, this is the single most important capital project your school has ever seen."

She noticed the members of the LEA grumble between themselves, checking the time on the clock behind her. Nodding stiffly, she sat down, dropping her bag down beside her.

"I was helping a pupil in crisis," she explained.

"How very noble."

"No, not noble," she smiled awkwardly, "It's what you pay me for."

He didn't smile back, shuffling the papers in front of him.

"Right, well, we're all busy people so why don't we crack on? We haven't the time to recap for your benefit, Miss Mason, but I'm sure playing catch up shouldn't be too hard for a woman of your talents." She narrowed her eyes. "Right, next stop, and I think for many of us, the clear front runner, the bid from Ladmore Construction."

As she looked around, she noticed most of them smiled at the mention of Ladmore, nodding in approval. Pulling out her own copy of the bid, she took a deep breath. It was going to take a lot to change their minds.

An hour later, she had been given the chance to explain why she wanted Hordley Construction. It wasn't completely hard. Hordley had planned a building that had everything they wanted; it just didn't match up with their price range.

"Whilst all the bids have something to commend them, for us the Hordley bid stands out. It's modern, it's energy efficient and it best matches our key performance indicators."

She looked around, smiling in encouragement at the members. George glanced up at her, the only one who didn't seem convinced.

"Yeah, well, it would at that price." He started to flick through Hordley Construction's bid. "I mean, I can see why Miss Mason likes it. It has all these fancy knick-knacks and promises everything under the sun." Rachel closed her eyes briefly. "But, a lot of it simply doesn't add up." While he looked around at the others, she took the moment to down half of her glass of water, her eyes flicking around nervously. "I mean, who are Hordley Construction anyway? We've never used them before. Can anyone hear vouch for them?"

There was a murmur as they all replied in the negative.

"We have to deliver best value and the other bids do the same for less." He picked up another booklet. "The Ladmore bid, for example. Now, that's coming in at half a million cheaper and a firm that the LEA has had a long standing relationship with. In fact, if it's a straight choice between Hordley and Ladmore then we'd save ourselves a lot of time and make the decision right now." Rachel snapped her head in his direction, blinking rapidly. "We all know that Ladmore is the right choice."

She was aware of what he was doing, annoyed that she wasn't going to have her say.

"Erm, excuse me," she interrupted, "but I would feel much more comfortable if we stuck to the agreed agenda."

"We're just trying to speed things along," George reasoned, "What with the delay and all."

Glancing around at them all, they were all concentrating on the Ladmore bid. She knew she was going to have to be firmer.

"I completely take on board issues of cost and accountability, but we need to remember what this building is." She smiled at them all. "This may just be a set of specs and a price tag to you but it's me and my staff who are going to have to make this building work." She looked George in the eye. "It's our students whose lives will be shaped by it. If it doesn't fulfil our needs, it won't fulfil its purpose."

They all seemed to agree with her, nodding. She could hear the faint 'That's true' and 'Makes sense'. George was taken aback by her defiance, evidently not expecting her to argue.

"Oh, right, well, thank you for that, Miss Mason."

She nodded in recognition.

"And as we're sticking to the agreed agenda," he sighed, "We'll make it time for lunch."

As he stared at her in irritation, she looked down at the table, unable to hold his gaze. Rachel managed to hurry out to her car after she greeted all of the LEA members, something she had missed due to being late. As she tried to unlock her Audi, a car pulled up close behind her.

"On your lunch?"

She dreaded hearing that voice. Peering over her shoulder, she saw Stuart with his window down. He seemed completely at ease to be there. She glanced around nervously.

"You shouldn't be here," she accused.

"We all do things we shouldn't," he smirked.

Hearing voices nearing, her head snapped upwards. The LEA members were leaving the building in a group, discussing matters between themselves.

"Get in," Stuart ordered.

She hurried into the car, not wanting to be seen with him. As she moved round, she could feel him staring intensely at her.

He took her to a nearby Indian restaurant, knowing the LEA members wouldn't be visiting a place like that. Stuart persuaded her to order food, although she wasn't particularly hungry. The only thing she had agreed on purchasing was a glass of wine. Stuart didn't even notice, wolfing down his food. He looked up, noticing that she hadn't moved.

"I've done all I can," she explained, "Most of them favour Ladmore, have done from the start. Probably all golfing buddies or are taking back handers. There's nothing I can do."

She dropped her fork onto her plate, ignoring the loud clang it made. Her food was hardly touched.

"Don't put yourself down," he soothed, "You have enormous power. It's your school."

Rachel glowered at him. "They hold the purse strings."

"So what?" he shrugged, "You are a successful head teacher saving a troubled school. Threaten to walk; they'll do anything you ask."

She watched him as he nonchalantly took a sip of his drink. Her eyebrows knitted together as she considered his request.

"I can't do that," she denied, "I'm not going to compromise everything I've worked for, for you."

"Well, to be fair, you compromised everything the moment you took on a false identity, and you compound it every day you continue the lie."

She lowered her eyes, embarrassed.

"Come on, Rachel," he jested, "You are taking this too seriously. You said yourself that you would have backed my bid. That is all you have to do."

She still kept her concentration on her food.

"Or you'll ruin me," she stated.

He exhaled slowly, studying her closely.

"In this case, I don't have a choice so sadly, neither do you."

He continued to eat, acting as though there was nothing odd about their arrangement. She continued staring at her food. Pushing her plate away abruptly, she realised she wasn't hungry.

* * *

She excused herself to hurry to the bathroom once back at the offices, glad to be alone for a moment. Washing her face in the sink, she wiped her face slowly with a nearby towel. Her reflection in the mirror was one of a tired woman and with that image, she turned her back to the sink. Rachel threw the towel away, her hand pressing against her stomach instead. Her palm dug into her, trying to quell the nausea arising. Once she felt considerably calmer, Rachel reached into her bag for her make-up. Wiping her eye with her finger, she pulled out her lipstick, turning back to the mirror. She tried not to notice the darkening rings under her eyes.

When she finished, she hurried down the spiral staircase, gripping tightly onto the banister. She needed something to clutch onto. As she neared the bottom, she could hear George talking.

"Eric, relax," he was saying. "We have it in the bag." She paused at the bottom, peering over the side to see him standing with his back to her, at the door. "Yeah, you'll get your tender. Trust me. Eh, she's just being a bit uppity." Her gaze shot upwards when she heard him. "But everyone else is on side and it's not her decision." Pursing her lips, Rachel leant backwards. "When have I ever let you down, ay?"

He turned around and started when he noticed her there. Blinking back his surprise, he walked past her as if he hadn't seen her. She watched him leave, her frustration building.

* * *

When Rachel was given permission to speak, she took it as her opportunity to defy George until he had no other choice but to agree. It was time that someone took her career and her authority seriously.

"When I took this job, it was on the understanding that the LEA were fully committed to turning this school around."

"We are," George frowned.

"But at the first chance we get to make a difference and you're uhm-ing and ah-ing."

"Oh, come on."

Surprised at herself, she sat back. It seemed she was going to take Stuart's advice after all. "Look, if you weren't serious about that commitment then I am going to have to strongly reconsider my position as head teacher."

Everyone turned to her in astonishment.

"What?" exclaimed George, "You're threatening to walk over which set of builders we employ?" He glanced around for everyone else's reaction. "I don't understand. What is it about this particular bid, Miss Mason."

"It's the best," she argued.

"And the most expensive. Are we to believe that a few eco-friendly trimmings are going to solve all the school's problems?"

"Well, of course not," she exclaimed passionately, "What we need is the commitment, not the half measures." She paused to take a deep breath. "Our kids are meant to feel proud of their school." George hung his head. "And they should feel their school is proud of them."

"Look, if we were to go for this bid, you are aware that it will use all of Waterloo Road's allocated contingency funding for the next five years? You do understand that, don't you?"

Her eyes widened before narrowing. "If that's the case then so be it. As I've said, we need this."

"So you're prepared to sacrifice any, er, emergency repairs or future development just for this?" he scoffed.

"If that's what it takes."

He shook his head in disbelief.

"As I've said, I don't understand what makes this bid so special to you, Miss Mason."

"Well, I could ask you why you're so attached to the Ladmore bid." She sat back, smiling slightly. "Or will that seem a bit too uppity?"

The two locked into a strong glare, both willing for the other to give in. Eventually, George withered under her gaze, continuing the conversation with the LEA members. He didn't ask for her to speak again. Half an hour later, he finally addressed her.

"Well, Miss Mason, I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for your input. A fighting performance and if that's it, I'll ask you to leave as to our final deliberation."

She glanced around, realising she could leave. "That's it?"

"Oh, I think you've said enough."

He tried to laugh lightly but she could hear the catch in his voice. Looking around, he tried to remain pleasant.

"Well worth the wait," he simpered, "We'll inform you of your decision by the close of today."

"Well, thank you for listening." She stood up, grabbing her bag in the process. Halting at the door, her hand rested on the doorknob. "And please choose carefully. There's an awful lot at stake."

She left without another glance at them, scared at what she might see. Closing the door hurriedly behind her, she leant against it, trying to catch her breath.

* * *

Rachel went straight back to school. As she strode through the corridors, she hated to admit she was pleased to be back. There was something safe about being in the corridors. Smiling to herself, that happiness was ruined when she saw Paul pushing three small boys across the corridor.

"Hey, stop that," she shouted, jogging over. She hadn't expected to see students there. It was the end of the school day. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"  
She guessed Eddie hadn't done much to change the issue with the lessons for life group. Paul didn't seem to understand why he was being yelled at, his head turning from side to side in confusion.

"We're allowed," he informed her, "We're re-enforcers. Mr Lawson said."

She had guessed wrong. It turned out he had done something. Whether it had worked or not was another question. Paul noticed her confusion, stepping forward with his fist still curled on the boy's shirt.

"We were going to take them to your office."

She looked around the small group of boys who were terrified. After convincing Paul to let them go and for him to go home, she ran up the stairs to find a large group of pupils huddled outside her office door. Her mouth hung open in shock, counting them at about thirty. She halted at the top of the stairs, her mouth slowly forming a straight line.

* * *

Throwing open the door to her office, Eddie trailed behind her with his hands in his pockets.

"I asked you to have a word," she cried, flinging her arms up in the air, "not form a vigilante force. I've got half the school lined up out there."

She fell down onto the sofas, tired after a long day.

"I know," he acknowledged, "They're keen." He seated himself beside her. "But when have you seen the likes of Paul Langley here after home time and doing something for the school?"

"Yes, but this, Eddie?" she proclaimed, her arm rising to gesture at the door.

He suddenly fell silent, looking rather sheepish.

"I'm sorry," he sighed, "but what you said this morning was right." She glanced at the desk and then back at him. "Being in the lessons for life doesn't mean we have to make their lives any harder. Obviously, we need to monitor it but I think it will work and so does Tom."

Her eyes stayed steadily on him, considering his expression as he spoke. He didn't notice a small smile appearing as she watched him.

"It was his idea," he continued, resting his hands on his thighs. "But I should have waited for your okay and for that, I apologise."

Eddie noticed her smiling at him, returning the gesture. There was silence for a moment as they regarded the other.

"Apology accepted." She bit her lip.

He beamed warmly. "How did it go with the LEA?"

Sighing heavily, she shook her head in response. "Don't ask."

"Who did they give it to?"

"Er, they are deciding as we speak." She turned her gaze up to the ceiling, troubled about the decision they may make.

"What about your pal Stuart?" he laughed, "How did his go?"

"He's not my pal!" she shouted, suddenly irritated.

As he frowned, she looked away from him, blinking hard. Standing, she hurried to her desk.

"Everything okay?" he asked.

Rachel never wanted him to know about her deal with Stuart. It was incomprehensible.

"Yes," she smiled, "Everything is fine. Seems LEA meetings don't bring out the best in me, that's all."

She laughed, trying to make him forget about her outburst. He had already, beaming up at her.

* * *

Rachel was on her laptop when Janeece ran into her office. She hadn't expected to see her, especially an hour after school. As soon as the door crashed into the filing cabinet, Janeece made it quite obvious why she was there.

"Miss, I want to go back to Kirby Mills."

Eyes widening, Rachel laughed in excitement.

"Well, those are words I never thought I'd hear." She gestured towards her. "Come in."

Janeece hurried over to the desk, pleased with herself. Seeing her sparked a reminder to Rachel, who clicked immediately onto her e-mails.

"Actually, you know what?" she remarked, "There was a message from them." Reading it, she blinked in surprise. "Oh, apparently, you were involved in an accident?"  
She squinted up at Janeece, waiting for her to defend herself and trusting it wasn't serious. Seeing Janeece roll her eyes, she assumed it wasn't.

"Miss, it was an accident, honestly."

Rachel continued to read the e-mail, trusting to let that incident slip.

"And there's a message from your supervisor, Linda Dawkins." Janeece sighed, turning away slightly. "She said she was impressed with your patience and your positive attitude." She nodded encouragingly at the girl who suddenly perked up. "And the school should be proud of you."

She glanced back at the message, checking to see there was nothing else of importance.

"She said that?" queried Janeece.

"Yeah."

"That Linda was on my case the whole time," she moaned.

"Really?" frowned Rachel.

"You know when someone's winding you up and you don't want them to win? It was like that all day. I could have just said sod it and gone home but I didn't."

Again, Rachel had to stop herself from laughing. "Good for you."

Janeece was visibly pleased with herself, her shoulders slumping after the day she'd had.

"So, I'm going back then." She folded her arms smugly. "I'm not scared of her. I'm not scared of anything, me."

* * *

Shortly after Janeece had left, Rachel received a phone call from George Philby. Her hands shook as she reached for the phone, pressing it against her ear.

"Councillor Philby, yeah." Her office door opened and Steph stepped in, grinning. Rachel held her hand up. Steph was the worst person to be there when Rachel heard the news. "Right. Well, it was never about you or me, was it? No, I'm just glad the school is getting what it deserves at last." Steph sat down opposite her. "Okay, well thanks for letting me know." She nodded in response, despite him not being able to see her. "You too."

She placed the phone down quickly, exhaling in relief.

"Is everything okay?" Steph questioned, mainly for her own gain than worry.

"Yeah, Hordley Construction has won the bid." She smiled unconvincingly, unable to make herself sound any more excited than a dull monotone.

"Oh, Stuart," she exclaimed, "I bet you're pleased."

Rachel glared at her, annoyed people thought she and Stuart were friends. "Why?"

Standing up, she moved to the round table to collect paperwork she had left there.

"Well, Stuart," Steph shrugged. "I thought we all rather liked his plans." Rachel peered over her shoulder, not bothering to hide her annoyance. "And he's quite easy on the eye as builders go."

She giggled, assuming Rachel would participate in her particular view. Rachel picked up the paper from the table, changing the subject quickly.

"Yes, well, Steph, your expenses." She threw the papers onto the desk in front of the French teacher. "I mean, how did you manage to spend that much?"

"Well, I think the expression is speculate to accumulate."

Her smile faded when she noticed the way Rachel was staring at her.

"You know," she added, "If you want money, you've got to sweeten the pill."

Rachel walked round the desk, back to her seat. Sinking into the leather chair, she reached out for the expenses, running her eye over the list.

"I was representing the school," Steph defended.

"There will be no more trips abroad until this one yields results. As finance director, I'm sure you understand that."

Steph looked over to the window. It was evidently not what she had hoped for.

"Does this mean I can reclaim sole use of my office?" she asked.

Rachel knew she would be annoyed that Tom was in there but it was her perfect chance to explain to Steph that she no longer held responsibility as head of pastoral care.

"Well, that's the other thing I wanted to talk to you about. As this funding initiative is going to keep you occupied for some time yet, and Tom seems to be flourishing in the pastoral care role…" She could see Steph roll her eyes slowly in realisation. Seeing Steph affected by the news, Rachel almost felt sorry for her. "Well, Eddie and I, we were thinking of offering it to him on a full time basis."

As Steph nodded sombrely, Rachel sat back; glad that certain topic was out of the way.

* * *

It was early evening when Rachel started to pack her bags, standing at her desk. She had her back to the door, sure she was the only one left in the building. There was no one else's car in the parking area. Hearing a door open, she spun around in shock. She couldn't see anyone. Rushing to the anti-chamber, she called out.

"Bridget? Are you still here?"

Her hopes were dashed short when she nearly walked into Stuart at the doorway. Gasping in surprise, she flicked her hair, trying to appear calm.

"Have you heard anything yet?"

Blinking fast, she kept her gaze on his chest rather than his face. "Yes."

He stared at her, eyes wide as he waited for an answer. It was the first time she had seen him worried.

"Well?" he prompted.

"You got it."

She stood there, arms firmly by her sides, still staring at his chest when he raised his hands. Punching the air slightly, he relaxed back into his usual demeanour.

"Yes," he laughed. Lowering his voice, he tried to make direct eye contact with her. "Thank you."

"Now, you've got what you want," she answered softly, "Can you leave, please?"

She went back into her office, grabbing her bag. His presence was felt behind her.

"Come on," he begged, "Don't be like that. We both got results. You got a great new building for your school. You should be proud of that."

"Proud?" she spat.

"Rachel, I'm not happy with the way things turned out. I know it wasn't easy but today can be the start of a long and rewarding relationship for the both of us."

Gulping, she unconsciously took a step backwards, suddenly scared of the way he was looking at her.

"Your secret is safe with me," he assured her.

She felt his fingers brush lightly against hers before he turned abruptly, leaving her alone. Once he had gone, Rachel backed against the desk, her eyes wide with terror.

* * *

 _17_ _th_ _February 2008_

 _Dear Eddie,_

 _I have dreaded this day for a long time. Since Stuart came to see me weeks ago, almost a month now, I have been terrified about what might happen at this meeting with the LEA. You see, it seemed so simple to everyone else. Oh, Hordley Construction will get it because they have such a good bid and he is such a great guy. That's how it appeared to you. Not to me. It was a good bid but there was the issue of cost, which accounts for why his bid was originally rejected. So now I have allowed Waterloo Road to progress on no funding for the next five years so I can save my career from a horrific end. That hardly seems fair on the children. I did not come into this job expecting to protect myself rather than those I swore to help. I hate Hordley and I hate myself._

 _Think about this. How could you live with yourself, having to do something that goes against everything you believe in? As if I wasn't pathetic enough._

 _I woke up trying to remain positive. I even made an effort to look nice. It may sound presumptuous of me but I know you noticed. Is it strange to say I liked that? I liked that feeling of knowing you appreciated the way I looked. I don't usually when it comes to men but it was different with you. It was almost exciting. That happiness was cut short by Hordley, yet again. Somehow, he managed to find my phone number and has been sending me frequent reminders, as if I need reminding. First, he text me this morning once I reached the school and then he had the audacity to visit me on the day of the meeting. Even Bridget noticed something was wrong. The dear has noticed how much Stuart is bothering me and on many occasions has told him I am away or otherwise occupied, meaning I am allowed a moment of peace every once in a while. She doesn't have to but I appreciate it. I thanked her today, actually. She wanted to send him away this morning, which was exactly my first reaction. However, it would be a mistake, considering all the evidence he has against me._

 _Oh, Eddie, I don't even know how to make it any more obvious. I hate him. I hate him but he terrifies me at the same time. Part of me hopes you will notice so you can help me, yet I don't think you have. I know you've noticed something but you haven't really seen it as anything negative. You assume like everyone else that Stuart and I are friends and that is the end of it. He sickens me to the very core of my being. I noticed the way he looked at me. He must think I am blind, or even worse, stupid. When he looked at me, it wasn't like when you do. There's a difference. You look at me in a way that suggests you appreciate how I look in a way that is neither sexual nor threatening. You simply keep it kind and considerate, as always. Stuart is neither kind nor considerate._

 _I first noticed it this morning when he entered the office. Obviously my effort to look nice was evident to him too. It wasn't comfortable at all so I tried to ignore him, thinking it would pass. Nothing really happened in the office, apart from the fact that he blackmailed me. Again. Then he asked me to lunch outside of the LEA offices. I mean, of all the places he could be and he had to be there. It was nearly as bad as Philby being buddies with Ladmore. Apart from I had no choice. If they had seen me with him, he would definitely not have gotten the bid. End of. What a stupid, inconsiderate, selfish thing to do. Worst of all, he found the whole thing amusing. I could feel his eyes on me then too. I daren't look at him the whole time because I was scared of what I would see. He stared at me so intensely that it frightened me. It didn't excite me as it might have done if it was you but it frightened me to the point where, if he had tried to do anything, I might just have been sick on him. Serves him right, I suppose. I don't think he would have taken too kindly to it though._

 _Now, I am sure he is using his threats as something more. He came to see me after school, when everyone else had gone. Naturally, he was curious as to whether he had won the contract or not. When I told him he had, his interests suddenly changed. I naively thought that might be the last of him, that I wouldn't have to see him again. It makes sense, you know. He blackmails me to get his bid reinstated and then the contract. It's a natural progression. Once he's achieved that, there's nothing else he'd want from me. I was so wrong. Having that wasn't enough for him and I suppose for men like him, it never was. He was looking at me in that way that made me nauseous. It reminded me of when I was younger and I was nothing more than a body to some men. He reminded me of that degradation and desperation. Before he left, he brushed his fingers against mine and I knew. I knew he was never going to leave me alone. He got one thing and now he's after another. I'm so scared, Eddie. For future reference, if anything happens between me and Stuart, please know it was never and never will be consensual on my part. Remember that._

 _But I don't want to think about him anymore. On a lighter note, I'm pleased that the lessons for life group are getting the support they need out of the classroom. I mean, they may have gone too far, especially Paul, but it's a start. Even if they need to exercise a little control, at least we know they are taking the responsibility seriously. I do appreciate it. Although, I didn't appreciate the angry students who had been left outside of my office. I'm sure they didn't appreciate it either. You did make a mistake today. Yet again, we all do and I was reminded once again of how much you really do care for this school and the people in it, students and staff. It comforts me to have such a dedicated deputy head teacher. So, thank you._

 _In all aspects, I wish some of the other staff were more dedicated. You know who I mean. Steph Haydock has the student's best interests at heart, I know she does, yet that does not cover her lack of ability in teaching. She tried her hardest as head of pastoral care and I understand that, but Tom Clarkson is a more sensible choice. We can both agree on that. I did pity her, however, when I told her the news. She obviously loved that job. She just didn't do it well enough._

 _Moreover, I am extremely happy with Janeece. She did start rather shakily at the museum. Bless her; she was pleased as punch to be going this morning. Since her fossil expedition, she was so excited to find a career in archaeology; I did feel rather sorry for her when she objected to going anywhere else. I take it the museum wasn't quite what she was expecting, which is a shame. Janeece had finally found something to take interest in, only for it to be taken away so suddenly. I guess that's why she thought it was a good idea to lock her supervisor in the cupboard. Afterwards, I did get plenty of abuse from the supervisor but it was worth it. In fact, I actually found it quite amusing, even though I cannot condone that sort of behaviour, especially from one of my pupils. So I was glad to hear such a good report back from Kirby Mills and that she will be returning. Janeece has a great capacity to care and love, shown today._

 _I'd like to think we've done a good job these past few weeks. With everything that is happening, we need to continue going from strength to strength and I really do believe we can. I'm starting to believe we could do anything if we tried. But what I really want to say is, I am more attracted to you than I've ever been. It annoys me slightly, considering we haven't been that close these past few weeks. Your ignorance about Hordley has created a deep rift between us. I deeply regret not becoming closer to you. After everything with Michael, I really thought we would only grow closer but I can see that can't happen while you are still in contact with Hordley. That upsets me greatly, yet what can I do about it?_

 _There were moments today when I honestly thought there could be a spark there, I don't know. Only a few of many through the past few weeks. You see, even though I have been attracted to you for a while now, this has become more intense as time goes by. For example, this morning when we had finished speaking to Steph. You made some joke about her, to which I laughed at. I looked up at you and your eyes were so consuming, passionate, dark and intriguing, I didn't know how to react. What embarrassed me was that I couldn't do anything but blush. I'm sure you didn't notice and if you did, you probably thought me deplorable._

 _Then again in the office when you were speaking. I can't even remember exactly what you were saying, something about Paul I guess. It was as if it were a moment in a movie, an incredibly bad, cheesy one. One where everything seems to fade and all I can see is you. All sound seems to dim and I can't help but feel at peace watching you. There is something soft, warm and gentle about you. I'd like to think I have seen that side enough to find you attractive but I often wonder what would happen if I was on the receiving end of that side, to feel that love. Then you noticed me, smiling back. Time seemed to stop and it was just you and me. There was no bickering, disagreeing or judgemental silence. There was me and there was you. And we were happy. Now, wasn't that wonderful?_

 _Yours,_

 _Rachel xx_


	9. Chapter 9

This is quite long, a little longer than usual. Just letting you guys know if you don't want to scroll through.

Also, the next chapter will be from the future again and from Eddie just so we can keep that bit going. Hope you guys like it :)

* * *

Rachel rushed from her office, heading straight for Bridget who was sat in her chair. Her fingers gripped the back of the secretary's seat as she leaned over her shoulder.

"Bridget, have I missed an email from Stuart Hordley?"

Even so, Rachel's eyes scanned the screen in case she happned to find something Bridget had missed.

"No," was the immediate response.

Rachel stood, her mouth down turning. She glanced at the screen one last time but she could see nothing of importance. Eddie managed to enter at the same time, hearing Bridget's answer. That was exactly what she didn't need.

"What?" he cried, striding into her office, "Still no word from Stuart?"

She followed after him, struggling to match his pace. Even though it was Stuart, she felt the need to justify his actions. She had to be seen supporting him, no matter what.

"Well, it's a massive project, Eddie. You know, there are all sorts of things involved."

He scoffed in response, evidently displeased. She stood behind her desk, hoping to get back to work.

"Like?" he challenged.

"I don't know," she barked, "I'm not a builder."

She sunk into her chair, clinging onto the arm rests. Eddie hadn't finished his rant. It was the morning and he still had a lot of time to show the staff how irate he was on certain subjects. Flinging his arms in the air, he stomped up to her desk.

"Well, he's still got to let us know what's going on," he protested, "We don't want to disrupt these kids any more than necessary. Has he submitted any kind of building share?"

She rested her head against the back of her chair, eyes closing. It was the last thing she needed to hear. The morning had been fairly quiet until he had entered the office. Her patience was reaching its end.

"Eddie!" she snapped, "Please, just stop going on."

He dug his hands into his pockets in clear offence. As he looked around in bewilderment, she could see he was only worrying about the school. Sighing, she shook her head.

"I'm sorry." Leaning forward, she pressed her hands down onto the arm rests. "Nobody wants this to run as smoothly as I do."

She only wished Stuart kept to his promise after everything he had done to secure the job in the first place. Eddie seemed to think so too, sitting on the sofas.

"I'm starting to have doubts about this bloke. I think he might be a bit of a git."

She looked down, not wanting him to see her doubts. After all of her effort for him to see who Stuart really was, he had made a decision on his own when they were supposed to remain on amiable terms with him.

"After all the support you've given him," he claimed. Her head snapped up, annoyed he had seen a connection. "He can't even let you know what the plan is."  
"Excuse me?" she hissed, "All this support?"

She shook her head frantically in denial. Eddie evidently didn't see anything wrong with what he had said; pressing on the matter in hope that he could explain himself.

"Yeah. You know, he might not have got this gig if it wasn't for you."

Swivelling her chair, she faced him fully. Her finger hit hard against the wood as she spoke. "Hang on. He got this gig because his bid was best, end of."

He raised his eyebrows. She could tell he didn't believe her.

"Okay?" she checked.

He ran his hand through his hair. From where she was sitting, Rachel could tell he was avoiding eye contact, his elbow resting on the cupboard beside him. She almost felt guilty but she needed to express how little involvement she had in Hordley's bid, true or not. If anyone was going to catch her out, it was going to be Eddie.

"Yeah," he nodded, quietly, "If you say so."

Knowing they had to move on from his bid, she decided to get back to the crux of the problem. Standing, she moved over to the table.

"Right," she decided, "Even if I have to call him a hundred times, I am going to get an answer out of this man."

Her phone was lying on the side. Picking it up, she started to dial his number, a little concerned she knew it so well.

* * *

Eddie returned to her office at their morning break, inquiring into whether Stuart had contacted her. Her answer was a no. She had sat down at the table, phone in hand. Over the two hours, she had rung him enough times. Any more, she reasoned, and it would become awkward. When she could offer no answers, Eddie started to yell. Rolling her eyes, she listened to him as he raised his concerns, raising them loud enough for the rest of the school to hear.

"Why has he missed his start date?" he demanded, "I mean, this is getting farcical. Doesn't he understand we have to plan around this?"

He was interrupted by the door opening. Stuart stepped in, noticing the stressed tension in the room. Eddie spun around, even angrier when he saw who was standing there.

"Oh," acknowledged Rachel, letting her phone drop on the table.

Stuart's phone beeped from a message. Digging it out of his pocket, his eyebrows rose when he read what was on his screen.

"Six mixed messages?"

"Yeah," she nodded, "They're all from me."

Eddie took the chance to voice his displeasure. "Little matter of a training school you've been paid to build."

Stuart held up his phone, showing that it was changed to silent.

"I've been in a meeting all morning," he explained, "I've got a subcontractor who is trying to play me off to another developer. I called his bluff…"

He stopped short when Eddie dug his hands into his pockets, huffing loudly. Eddie clearly wasn't buying any of his excuses. Realising this, Stuart stuffed his phone back into his pocket.

"To cut a long story short, the digger is moving tomorrow."

"'Bout time," Eddie muttered.

Rachel didn't want there to be an argument, at least, not with Stuart. She had only just finished her deal with him, knowing he still had plenty of information that could get her in trouble.

"That's really great news. We are really glad."

Her forced cheerfulness did not slip Eddie's notice. He turned to stare at her, annoyed she wasn't going to agree with him. Stuart took her response as truthful, nodding.

"Good," he smiled. Glancing at Eddie, he stepped closer to her. "Er, Rachel, I would like to speak to you about a personal matter, if I may."

She frowned, knowing he shouldn't have asked in front of Eddie. Blinking quickly, she hoped Eddie would argue into staying. That idea was cut short when the bell rang, signalling for him to leave.

"I'll get back to my day job," he grumbled, storming out.

He didn't leave without another glare at Stuart, slamming the door behind him for good measure. Rachel licked her lips nervously, duly noting Eddie's missing presence. She would have preferred him to stay. Stuart started walking towards her.

"Look, I'm really not happy about what transpired between the two of us and I would like to explain why I did what I did."

He stepped too close to her. Uncomfortable, she stood up, moving back to her chair behind the desk. She preferred to sit there whenever he was in the office, comfortable with a tangible object between them.

"Well, why don't you start with the word 'blackmail', Stuart?" she sighed.

"I understand how you must be feeling, given that you feel you have compromised yourself."

"You think?" she snapped.

He stopped in front of the desk, towering above her. Hordley was intimidating, despite his apologising nature.

"However, I would like the chance to explain myself. You can't refuse me dinner, can you?"

Her eyes shot up sharply, realising she had no other choice.

* * *

As she was sorting through her folders, Grantly entered her office. She was trying to find paperwork that she had been meaning to sign for some time. Somehow, she had managed to lose it somewhere within her piles of folders. While she was flicking through the papers, she still managed to notice Grantly's unusual cheerfulness.

"Funny how great minds think alike," he spoke.

She laughed, not really paying attention to what he was saying. When she didn't hear him speak again, she flicked her hair round to stare at him.

"Well, you wanted to see me." He nodded in hope she would affirm his assumption. "And I wanted to see you."

Rachel continued to flick through her files, growing frustrated when she couldn't find the specific papers she needed.

"Yes. Well, here we are." She glanced quickly at him. "You go first then."

"Erm, well, as you know, I am a keen observer of staff movements." She moved across the office, sorting through all of the papers. He followed her movements as she walked in a circle around the room, always behind her. "And I can see that certain members of staff have had their roles enhanced. Steph Haydock, for one."

While she was listening, she managed to pull out three new folders from one of the drawers, dropping them on the table.

"Mm," she prompted.

"And, er…"

"Ah," she grinned, finding the papers she wanted.

Picking up all of her folders, she tried to wedge them all back into one drawer. Once she had finished, she went back to her desk to tidy away the mess she'd made.

"Er," frowned Grantly, "I just-I can see the way you are taking the school and a certain amount of fluctuation is part and parcel of any dynamic organisation."

Occasionally she would glance at him, yet she still wasn't concentrating entirely on what he was saying. She was trying to order her files.

"Have you got anything specific in mind?" she asked.

Grantly straightened his back, looking extremely nervous. If she hadn't been concentrating on something else, she might have realised he wasn't acting his usual cynical self.

"Well, I just thought as a senior member of staff, there might be an opportunity for me to contribute to the development of the school?"

She narrowed her eyes as she listened to him speak, her lips parted as she thought about his proposal. When he finished, she couldn't help but grin. She was glad to finally see him showing some enthusiasm about his job, growing excited at the prospect of working with him.

"Grantly, that is really great to hear," she exclaimed. She walked around the desk, pleased to have the conversation. "And it's quite a coincidence because that is exactly why I wanted to see you."

She stopped a few feet away from him, her hands on her hips. He stared at her in confusion.

"Huh?"

Gesturing towards the sofa, she sat down, patting the seat beside her.

"Come. Come sit down." Seeing him hesitate, she bit the tip of her thumb as she waited for him. "Come on."

He sat down beside her. Rachel sat relatively relaxed, her legs crossed and her arm resting on the back of the sofa as she turned to face him. He didn't seem as confident, his shoulders hunched and his hands tucked tightly between his knees. What he didn't know was that Rachel had already planned an activity for him in his free period. Steph, being an old friend of Grantly's, had mentioned that he had once won two competitions and Rachel was eager for him to share his talent. She was sure he would enjoy doing the lesson, considering it was an activity he obviously liked to do.

"Now, a little bird told me that you have got a hidden talent," she noted, "And I want you to share it with the lessons for life group."

He shrugged, although he seemed very flattered. Grantly always loved to be praised. She leant forward, tapping him lightly on the shoulder.

"We want you to teach them ballroom dancing."

His flattered smile dropped, his mouth becoming a straight line.

"How did you find ab- What? You can't be serious. No." His voice rose as he became infuriated at the idea. He turned back to the Grantly that she was so used to seeing. "Teach ballroom dancing? To that lot?"

She was slightly disappointed he was not more enthusiastic about the lesson. Rachel had believed he might have enjoyed it, especially after hearing the stories Steph had spewed in the staffroom.

"It's PE and History all rolled into one," she offered.

"And how does that compare to Madame Haydock's appointment as financier?"

She closed her eyes, realising what he wanted. In all honesty, Grantly struggled with the role of head of English, not because he was incapable but because he was lazy.

"It doesn't," she admitted.

He stood abruptly, rushing to the door. "No, thank you. I'll stick to being head of English."

As he grabbed the handle, she stood, moving back to her desk.

"Yeah, well, that is next on my to do list." When he froze, she continued. "We are looking at staff restructuring in the next few months. Our current structure doesn't fulfil its purpose at all. Lesson six, Grantly."

He had no other option than to obey. With a sharp humph, he left the office without a backwards glance. Smiling to herself, Rachel sat back down at her desk, pulling her newfound paperwork towards her.

* * *

Her fairly quiet day was quickly ruined when she received a phone call from Tom. Jasmine had seen Michaela White push another pupil into a car that morning on the way to school. She had intervened, only to find herself on the wrong side of Michaela. The girl was not too pleased and neither was Jasmine, who had ranted to Tom about how much she disliked her. Rachel agreed that Michaela was a terrible student, having a few words for the girl that she shouldn't ever repeat aloud, but knew that she had the same behavioural issues as Bolton had. The difference was that Michaela was harder to convince.

Tom phoned her from his office on the school phone, explaining the situation.

"Tom, I think you did exactly the right thing. Well, why don't you let me have a word with her? No, I'm sure she was over-reacting." The door opened and she saw Eddie step in. Seeing the look on his face, her smile dropped. She knew it couldn't wait, whatever it was. "Tom, got to go. Yeah."

Putting the phone down, she didn't think she had time to listen to another angry outburst.

"Who's done what to you?" she inquired politely.

She stood, taking folders to her filing cabinets as she did. He pointed towards the door, his mouth moving, although no sound came out. It seemed whatever had annoyed him had left him physically unable to speak. She would have let him know how comical it was if he wasn't so frustrated.

"Cocky little sod," he managed. "Showing off to Mika Grainger."

She started, making a show of trying to guess who it was. It was too obvious.

"Brett Aspinall?" she tried.

Since the incident between Brett and the Grainger sisters, Brett had done everything and anything for Mika to like him again, even in a platonic sense. Eddie started to gesture wildly, walking close behind her.

"Starts pressuring me about my car," he cried. "Why am I driving a planet boiler when I could be flogging round on a push bike?"

She noticed he stuck his hands into his jean pockets, a usual gesture. It was one she had become used to. Eddie liked to sulk very much.

"Well, that's the trouble with teaching," she smiled, "We give them a set of values and before you know it, they are making us live by them."

Eddie rolled his eyes, standing taller by the minute.

"Yeah, you're next on the list. Believe me."

"Oh?" she frowned.

She sat on the edge of her desk, ready to hear what he had to say next. He stopped in front of her, their feet almost touching. She was glad that his frustration had led into friendly banter, something she regularly enjoyed.

"The new build," he told her, "Make sure it's a green paragon or they'll have you."

Her loud laugh was interrupted by a knock on the door. Steph slipped in, beaming.

"That's two thousand pounds in the kitty," she declared, satisfied with her result, "Thanks to Stuart Hordley."

Rachel tried not to flinch at the name, annoyed she was being associated with Hordley for a number of reasons.

"Two thousand?" she gulped, speaking softly, "That's very generous."

Eddie's eyebrows shot up, nodding at her suggestively. She ignored him.

"Well, I had to work my magic on him, of course," laughed Steph, "but that's what you'd find from a finance director, even one who doesn't have her own office."

She finished quietly, hoping Rachel hadn't noticed. Her eyes stayed on Rachel's shoulder rather than her face, smiling forcefully.

"And so far has cost more than she has made," Rachel noted.

She glanced at Eddie, letting him know how irritated she was with being questioned. Steph looked back up, remaining as amiable as she possibly could be.

"It takes time to make contacts, Rachel."

Eddie, wanting to find humour in the situation, changed the subject.

"Talking of which, any word from Claude?"

Steph giggled, swaying slightly. "Oh, well that's why I'm so bleary eyed."

Eddie's eyes widened, pretending to be interested. He was only going to mock her later for it.

"I was on the phone to him last night for over an hour," she informed them.

Eddie glanced at Rachel in amusement, checking she was as humoured. She wasn't.

"So, if we get a penny for every minute you spend talking to him, we could double everybody's wages," muttered Rachel.

She didn't mean it as a joke, yet Eddie nodded in agreement, grinning widely.

"You can't raise money for these 'capital projects'," Steph sighed, wagging her fingers, "of yours without speaking to people."

Rachel raised her eyebrow, pursing her lips. Before she could retort an answer, Steph skipped out with a smile. Eddie waited until she had definitely gone before turning back to Rachel, still grinning.

"Well, well, well, Mr Hordley seems like a man out to impress."

Standing at the mention of Hordley, she instinctively walked to the other side of the chair. She didn't want to have that conversation with Eddie. Not then or ever.

"And your point is?" she challenged.

He cocked his head to the side, finding the situation very enjoyable. His hands came out of his pockets to lean forward on her desk.

"I'm just saying," he shrugged, "You know, he might have a thing for you."

"No, he doesn't."

She said it so quickly; she could tell he didn't believe her. Shaking her head in denial, she wished he did.

"No, he might have a bit of…"

She leant on the desk too, their faces close. Looking him in the eye, Rachel wanted it to be clear that she would not be affiliated with Stuart in any way.

"Don't even go there," she warned.

He stood straight, smirking. With a shrug, he left the office with one quick glance over his shoulder before he disappeared. Frowning, she dropped into her seat, exhaling deeply.

* * *

Jasmine had rushed into her office moments later, hoping to speak about Michaela and her bullying record. Rachel decided to sit the same as she did with Grantly, wanting it to be less formal than usual. It didn't matter to Jasmine either way, she was fuming.

"I can't believe she is going to get away with this scot free," she cried. "She's a thug and she should be excluded permanently."

Rachel held her hand up to stop her. She was concerned about Jasmine's attitude towards Michaela, something that could lead to a difficulty later on. Also, she was finding it hard to understand what the English teacher was saying, since she had a strong, Scottish accent.

"Yeah, we know that but unfortunately we can't accuse the girl without any evidence."

"I flamin' saw it."

Rachel cocked her head to the side, scrutinising her. She trusted Jasmine more than most but she knew it was never a good sign that a teacher was so angry with a student. Jasmine noticed her frown, shuffling slightly away from her.

"Oh, you don't believe me either, do you?"

In situations such as thus, Rachel knew she had to remain objective.

"I believe you reacted to something you saw or something you thought you saw." As she spoke, Jasmine looked away, unable to process the fact that her boss doubted her. "But maybe next time, just think before you barge in."

"I did what anyone else would have done," she argued.

Rachel reached out for her cup of coffee. She needed something to keep her going if the situation was going to continue.

"Yes but you are not anybody," she snapped, "You are a teacher and you'll learn with experience that sometimes it is better to take a step back."  
She sipped her coffee; realising Jasmine wasn't going to calm down any time soon.

"Oh, so now it's all my fault?" she exclaimed.

"Don't go getting so defensive," frowned Rachel, "Let's think about this." She placed her coffee back down. "You know, maybe your actions have given Michaela the chance she needs to back up her story."

Jasmine opened her mouth as if to defend herself. Shaking her head, she grabbed her folder off the table.

"Oh, I'm sick of this."

She rushed out of the office. Rachel watched her go, her lips parting with an unspoken protest. There was nothing foreseeable that she could do to change Jasmine's mind.

* * *

That became apparent when she found herself sitting behind her desk with a very upset Michaela and two shaken friends. The three had rushed in to present Michaela with a mark across her cheek, a mark that seemed to have bled. Her two friends were standing either side of her, holding onto her shoulders. Watching them carefully, Rachel knew she had ended in a sticky situation.

"I'm sorry, girls," she sighed, "but it's all too easy to accuse teachers of assault. There must be some explanation."

"Yeah, Korechi punched me one," Michaela protested.

Rachel doubted that if Jasmine had punched Michaela, it would have ended in a bloody scratch. It would have been more realistic if she had a bruise, one that wouldn't have formed that fast if it had only just happened.

"See, obviously, I don't know that."

Michaela sighed in frustration, her eyes flicking between her two friends.

"Can you believe this?" she shouted, "You's are like a gang or somethin', stickin' up for each other. What do you think this is? Paint?"

She gestured to her scratch, dabbing her eyes with a tissue. Rachel was growing irritated, her chin resting on her hand.

"I can see what it is."

"Maybe I should go to the police then." Michaela folded her arms triumphantly.

Rachel knew she was going to have to be careful, whether she believed the girl or not.

"I did not say there wouldn't be a full investigation," she snapped.

"Yeah, well, there better be. Korechi should be sacked for what she did to me."

"Any more cheek from you and you can go to the cooler," Rachel shouted.

She didn't want to be dealing with the situation, annoyed it had happened at all. Whether Jasmine had hit her or not, she had angered her in some way to get such a forceful reaction. Michaela scoffed in reply, folding her arms tightly. She was as arrogant as she was disrespectful.

"So I get punished for being hit?" she hollered.

"Right." She pointed at the two friends, who she realised; she did not know the names of. "You two girls back to class." Pointing at Michaela, she ignored the girl sniffing loudly. "You, Michaela, you can wait here."  
Rachel stood, following the two girls to the door. Michaela looked as if she were about to cry when the head mistress walked past.

"Can I have some water, Miss?" she wailed.

Closing the door firmly, Rachel took a deep breath.

* * *

As soon as Michaela had disappeared down the corridor, Rachel rushed down to the pastoral care office. She had called Eddie down too, knowing he should be involved. After she had recounted her experience to both him and Tom, she started to pace, knowing the implications of such an accusation. Eddie was sitting on the edge of a cupboard, arms crossed and disbelieving. He was a close friend of Jasmine's and was a great believer in her innocence. Tom was sitting behind his desk, extremely worried, his hand covering his mouth.

"I don't believe it," cried Eddie, "Jasmine hasn't got it in her to assault a pupil."

She spun around, arms crossed. The three girls could be making it up, guaranteed but they had another witness, the boy who Jasmine had tried to protect, testifying against her as well.

"Well, Shane Watson is saying he saw her throw Michaela up against a car, right?" she uttered.

Leaning over Tom, she noticed him glance up at her in worry. His eyes flickered between Eddie and her.

"Maybe I shouldn't say anything," he sighed, "Look, I know it was just a throw away remark…"

She leant further across the desk, letting him know he had no other choice than to tell her. It didn't matter to her whether it was a casual remark or not, she needed to know everything.

"Tom, I need to know all the facts."

Her words were perfectly punctuated. Tom glanced nervously at Eddie, who nodded. Looking back at Rachel, he took his hand away from his mouth.

"Jasmine did say that she could slap Michaela one."

"Join the queue," laughed Eddie, "So could I."

Rachel threw her hands up; annoyed he wasn't as professional as he should be. Standing straight, she was starting to doubt herself.

"Well, I saw for myself how angry Jasmine was," she thought aloud. "Look, we need to investigate this formally." She turned to Eddie. "Get some written statements from Michaela and her little gang."

"I'll get them to tell the truth," he stated.

Seeing how serious he was, she leant forward, firm in her order.

"You will play it by the book," she hissed.

"They are setting her up."

She didn't have time for Eddie to be ignoring her.

"We need to be seen being fairer than fair on this," she demanded. "It is the best way to protect Jasmine." Leaning on the desk again, she directed her attention to Tom. "Tom, I want you to re-interview Shane, yeah? We've got to know that Jasmine saw what she thought she saw."

As Tom stood to leave, Eddie called after him.

"Offer him money."

Rachel stood straight, losing her temper.

"Eddie!" she yelled.

He ignored her, shrugging in a form of apology. Walking behind Tom's desk, she knew Michaela's parents would have to be informed.

"And I guess I will call the parents," she told him.

She dropped into the seat, reaching for the phone. Eddie leant back, his arms folding tighter than before.

"Oh, I expect they're upstanding members of the community," he replied sarcastically, "Just like their daughter."

He stormed out of the room, leaving her alone. Staring after him, she couldn't help shaking her head in disapproval, despite him already having left.

* * *

As soon as she had finished her phone call to Mr White, who was extremely agitated about the situation, Rachel called through to Bridget to get Jasmine to her office. When she stepped into the anti-chamber, Jasmine was waiting for her. Rachel walked straight through into her office with the young woman following. Grabbing the door, she turned to her.

"Just one question, Jasmine." She let her in. "After we spoke this morning, did you confront Michaela White?"

Closing the door, she stepped in front of her, eager to hear what she had to say. She was sure Jasmine would deny it, which, if Michaela was lying as most people thought she was, than it would only be natural for her to respond in the negative. Jasmine shook her head, confused as to why she was asking.

"Oh, I didn't go looking for her if that's what you want."

Rachel was trying to gage what she was saying.

"But you found her?"

"Well, she was provoking me so I just said what I thought."

Rachel started to walk across the room, realising that Jasmine had seen Michaela since their last meeting.

"I know it was stupid," cried Jasmine, "Look, I'm sorry."

She followed Rachel, nearly bumping into her when she suddenly spun around.

"I'm sorry," sighed Rachel, "It's way too late for regrets. Michaela is accusing you of assault."

"No way," she laughed, hysterically, "There is no way I assaulted her."

Shaking her head, Rachel started walking over to her desk. "I cannot begin to tell you how serious this is, Jasmine."

Her hand covered her eyes for a moment, needing time to think. Since Michaela had appeared in her office, everything had happened quickly, leaving her no time to think clearly over the matter. Jasmine followed her, eager for her to listen.

"Oh, Rachel, please," she begged. When Rachel stayed silent, she started to shout. "You've got to believe me."

Rachel spun around once more, her hand dropping to her side.

"It doesn't matter what I believe," she cried, "The girl has a cut on her face."

"What?" Her voice rose in pitch.

"And we have two witnesses saying you hit her."

She must have realised who the two witnesses were, stepping back.

"Oh, she's lying."

Rachel sat down behind her desk, knowing it was best if she stayed professional. She had made an original judgement on Jasmine when she first arrived, thinking her to be a promising teacher. Her judgements were usually sound, never wrong. She was finding it hard to believe that Jasmine did punch Michaela, as the girl claimed, but she had no proof otherwise.

When she didn't respond, Jasmine rushed to the desk.

"Her mates are lying."

"I advise you to talk to your union rep as soon as possible about this." Upon hearing that, Jasmine's mouth hung open in shock. "Michaela's dad is coming to see me. We're going to have to institute formal proceedings, Jasmine."

"And so what's going to happen with me?" she shouted.

"Well, I hope if you're telling me the truth…"

"If?"

Her mouth didn't seem to be shutting, opening wide in disbelief. Glancing out of the window, she scoffed.

"I don't want to lose you," stressed Rachel, "and I hope to goodness that that doesn't happen, but you have to understand striking a child is gross professional misconduct."

"But I didn't hit her!"

As Rachel shook her head, Jasmine stormed out of the office. Running her hands through her hair, Rachel was starting to grow irritated with how her staff seemed to be dealing with the situation.

* * *

Mr White appeared soon after. He was a lot like Michaela in terms of appearance, making it obvious who he was as soon as he arrived. Eddie had warned Rachel before that the White family, if they took it to the police, might make claims of racism. Realising the serious implications, she was hoping to stay on the good side of Mr White.

She beckoned him into her office, offering for him to sit down opposite her and Eddie on the round table. As soon as he sat down, he made it quite clear what he wanted.

"Well, I hope you're going to sack her."

"Well…" She hesitated. "Not until we find out exactly what happened."

"Have you seen my daughter's face?" he hissed, "What do you think happened? Did she punch herself?"

Rachel didn't want to make him any angrier than he already was, despite the fact it was a high possibility Michaela had hurt herself. Eddie didn't seem to care.

"She might have done," he answered.

He was sitting rather rigidly, having taken an instant disliking to Mr White. On every occasion, he had tried to make it plainly obvious where he stood in his opinion, something Rachel didn't need. He was supposed to remain professional. Hearing his response, Mr White shook his head.

"I'm not putting up with this. I'm going to get the police."

"Oh, hang on," interrupted Rachel, "I don't think it is in anybody's interest to involve the police."

She was internally starting to panic.

"It is if I get justice for my daughter."

"Don't the police already know about your daughter, Mr White?" asked Eddie.

He sounded so calm, yet she knew he was furious. It wasn't as if he were wrong. Michaela had had dealings with the police before for petty things and her long history of bullying didn't put anything in her favour. She jumped in quickly when she saw the way Mr White was staring at her colleague.

"I'm just as shocked about this as you are. I've already told the teacher herself that if it is true, she has no future at Waterloo Road. Mr Lawson is collecting written statements from your daughter and her friends and we're interviewing Miss Korechi directly after this."

"It seems to me that she's done it."

"That's what they said about the Birmingham Six," Eddie muttered.

Rachel rolled her eyes, wishing Eddie would learn the art of subtlety. He wasn't supposed to be subjective, no matter how much they all believed Jasmine was not guilty. Mr White turned to Eddie, growing angrier by the second.

"I don't like your attitude, mate," he spat.

Eddie only raised his eyebrows in response. Sighing in disapproval, Rachel stood up.

"Well, luckily I'm conducting this investigation and I promise you, I will get to the truth of what happened."

Opening the door, she made it obvious that the conversation was over. It seemed Eddie and Mr White shouldn't be in the same room for too long. He stood, pausing in front of her.

"You better."

Once he had left, she glanced over at Eddie who rolled his eyes dramatically. Pushing the door closed, she sat down opposite him, running her hand through her hair. Eddie leant across to drop the statements in front of her.

"Have a read of these."

* * *

As soon as Jasmine had found her union rep, which happened to be Grantly, he demanded a meeting immediately. Eddie moved next to Rachel, sitting beside her as she sat behind her desk.

"Sit down, Jasmine," she offered.

She and Grantly sat opposite them.

"This won't take long," Grantly drawled, "Naturally, we deny all the trumped up allegations that the little scallywags brought up."  
Rachel already held the three statements in her hand, passing them to Jasmine, who read through them quickly. She flicked the pages frantically.

"This is a load of rubbish," she uttered.

She handed them to Grantly. He flicked through them too, his eyes widening.

"But they have all said exactly the same thing," Rachel noted.

"Exactly is the right word," grumbled Grantly, still reading. "She through, o, u, g, h. She-God, help us. They've even spelt the same words wrong."

Rachel narrowed her eyes, knowing what that meant. It didn't mean they should dismiss the allegation because of it.

"She threw her arm right back and battered me," he read.

Jasmine rolled her eyes, her head shaking in disapproval. Grantly flicked through them once more before throwing them onto the desk. Rachel glanced at Eddie to gage his reaction. He was smirking.

"Battered Michaela," whispered Grantly. Then he spoke louder. "Battered Michaela. All three have the same words, the same construction."

"But there aren't too many ways to describe what happened," she argued.

Jasmine glowered at her, probably not realising she was doing so. "Nothing happened."

Rachel stared between them, waiting for them to respond in another way. Eddie sighed, ducking his head down.

"They all chose the word 'battered'," Grantly frowned, "Why?"

Eddie leant forward, eager to be able to voice his opinion. "Because they collaborated on it."

Rachel glared at him, tilting her head to show her irritation that he had decided to participate so subjectively. He noticed, choosing to ignore her.

"Exactly," nodded Grantly, "Constructing a little lie to ruin a teacher's career is almost a sport for them."

Eddie nodded eagerly in agreement. "I certainly wouldn't put it past them."

He was directing it at Rachel but she ignored him. She couldn't be seen to take sides. It was completely unprofessional.

"And nor would I," she sighed.

"Can't we look into this?" he begged, "Can't we get them on their own? Put the pressure on? They'll soon crack."

"No, we can't, Eddie," she exclaimed, "We can't do that."

He sat up, his eyes widening. She could tell that there was nothing he wanted more than to prove Jasmine's innocence but he wasn't doing it the correct way.

"We operate in this world, as you all know…" She glanced at Grantly and Jasmine when she finished the sentence. "Where teacher's words equals the pupils."

Jasmine glanced at Grantly, hoping he would help. He was quick to voice his opinion, his voice the usual monotone.

"Hm, and we're paying the price for that every single working day."

Sitting back, Rachel tried to keep her voice calm and steady.

"As much as I don't like it myself, Grantly, that is the way it is, and we have got three pupil's words." She picked up the statements again, weighing them in her hand. "I'm sure they wrote this all together, but unfortunately, to the outside world, this is a significant indictment."

Jasmine glanced once again at Grantly, evidently desperate for him to help her. She exhaled loudly, still shaking her head. Rachel knew what she had to do but scared to do so. It was something she never thought she'd do.

"Jasmine, erm, I'm suspending you with immediate effect."

The young woman glanced over at Eddie for his support if Grantly was to do nothing. He could do nothing either. Grantly offered Jasmine a comforting smile, although how much comfort she received from it, Rachel did not know. Opening the top drawer in her desk, Rachel took an envelope, which she had asked Bridget to leave there earlier. Holding it out, she found it difficult to speak.

"The terms of the suspension are explained fully in here."

Jasmine stared, horrified at the sight of the envelope. She visibly gulped, sitting back rather than taking the letter. Rachel realised she wasn't going to take it from her so she continued.

"They require you to leave the premises and not to return unless instructed to do so by me." She could see that Jasmine was close to crying, her eyes turning watery. "And you will be on fully pay." Sighing heavily, she placed the envelope on the desk, pushing it closer to the edge if Jasmine wanted to take it. "This is the last thing I thought I'd be doing."

Grantly's head shot up when he heard her.

"Then don't do it," he reasoned, "It sends out all the wrong signals to them out there."

Rachel shook her head, knowing she could do nothing else. It wouldn't be the right thing to do. Jasmine looked down at the desk, trying to hide her tears.

"This is the worst day of my life," she stated, "You know, I can't believe I'm being punished for doing something I didn't do."

Eddie stood, moving closer to Rachel. Being a close friend of hers, he felt a compelling need to help Jasmine as much as possible. His hand rested on the back of Rachel's chair. She could feel the warmth of him near the back of her neck.

"It's not about being found guilty," he assured her, "No one in this room thinks you are. It's only a week, just until we can investigate this properly."

Grantly leant forward, trying to argue one last time.

"Why that little gang of thugs aren't suspended too is beyond me."

He sat back again, knowing he had strained his opinion. Eddie's gaze rose to the ceiling. Rachel felt his hand move from behind her, disappointing her greatly. He dug his hands into his pockets, his shoulder slumping.

"I have to agree with Grantly."

Rachel sat forward suddenly, wanting Jasmine to look her in the eye. She had no time to change Grantly and Eddie's mind. It was an impossible task.

"Jasmine, this is a neutral position, yeah? It's a way of diffusing the situation."

Jasmine didn't make eye contact, still staring downwards.

"I know you must be feeling really gutted," she said softly, "and I'm really sorry. You're a promising teacher."

Exhaling shortly, Jasmine left without another word. Eddie immediately set after her, probably to ease her worries, sharing one last look with Rachel before he left. Grantly still sat there, not moving an inch. Rachel stared helplessly after Eddie until he disappeared, wishing he had stayed with her instead. Seeing Grantly staring at her, she took notice of him.

"It's procedure," she hissed.

"It's a complete farce."

Standing as abruptly as Jasmine did, he left too.

* * *

She was still sitting behind her desk an hour later, yet Eddie had joined her again, it being his free period. He was still questioning her about Jasmine, wanting her to do something that would change anything.

"Well, I've done it all by the book, according to the LEA." She was growing tired of having to explain herself.

"Yeah, and if it goes against her, that's it. End of her career."

She lowered her eyes as he stared out of the window. Rachel didn't know what he wanted her to do. There was a knock at the door to save her answering. They both looked up simultaneously to find Stuart enter. Rachel suddenly wished they hadn't been interrupted. Stuart was surprised to see Eddie there.

"Our dinner arrangement?" he reminded her.

Licking her lips nervously, her gaze lowered to her lap. She wished he had asked to speak privately, embarrassed to be caught in front of Eddie. Eddie glanced down at her in shock, his eyes widening.

"Yeah, er, I wasn't expecting you quite so early," she laughed nervously.

"I thought we might have a couple of drinks first. I know you teachers don't like to be out too late mid-week."

"It must be really nice having someone look after you so well," Eddie taunted bitterly.

Stuart's smile fell when he heard him. Rachel was glad for once that Eddie wasn't subtle, trying not to smile.

"Yeah, we're going over plans for the new construction," frowned Stuart, "You're welcome to join us, if you want."

Rachel bit her lip, staring up at Eddie. She shuffled closer to him in her chair. He didn't notice, smiling forcefully.

"I've made other arrangements," he grumbled.

She moved forward even more, reaching out to brush the tips of her fingers against his hand.

"Actually, Eddie, it would be really great to get your view."

Secretly she wanted nothing more than for him to stay. She hoped he would hear the catch in her voice, the way she was practically begging him. He glanced down at her until Stuart answered for him.

"If you can't join us then it would be great to get them down in writing for me."

Eddie raised his eyebrows, nodding shortly. "I'll do that."

She shook her head, trying to catch his attention. He moved his hand, her fingers just missing his. Biting her lip, she started to panic. The situation between Jasmine and Michaela had left her with no time to consider Stuart's request. She'd almost completely forgotten about it. Stuart raised his eyebrows, letting Eddie know he wanted him to leave. The closing of the door was a clear sign that their dinner alone was inevitable. She sat back, deeply disappointed.

"Thank God he didn't accept my invitation," Stuart laughed, "We're dining at the Langford. I thought we might choose somewhere quiet where we can talk."

Running her hands along her thighs, she just wanted the day to be over.

"Well, I know you can afford it," she sniffed, "given your personal contribution to the school funds."

"It's an investment into Waterloo Road and it's young people," he explained.

She tried to smile, grabbing her bag and coat. Letting him go first, she didn't want him to see how bothered she was to be spending time with him.

* * *

"It's good food, huh?"

Rachel didn't know how to answer. She didn't think she could make it more obvious that she didn't want to be there. After her second glass of wine, she still had only eaten a third of what was on her plate. Stuart noticed, wiping his mouth with a serviette.

"Look, Rachel. I'm not trying to justify what I did."

It managed to catch her attention, her eyes lifting to glare defiantly.

"No?" she breathed.

"Okay, maybe I am," he admitted, "Truth is, I don't like myself very much for what happened and perhaps I'm trying to find some sort of absolution, I don't know."

It didn't change her mood. Rubbing her hands lightly against each other, she slowly ran her fingers across the back of her hand. As she considered what he said, she rested her elbows on the table.

"And the blackmail, huh?" she sniffed, "Do we forget about that? Did that never happen?"

"I wouldn't have done it if I didn't have to," he reasoned, "I just needed to know my bid was on the table."

She didn't answer, turning to look out of the window. After the day she'd had, she would rather be outside, going home. He saw her fold her arms.

"Look, I'll destroy any evidence that Tess has," he offered, "Better still, I'll give it to you. I just need you to understand."

When there was no answer, he tried even harder for her to listen.

"You know what? I'd rather give the job up." She finally turned her head. "I mean it. Just say the word."

After everything he had done to her, Rachel admitted it would be easier for him to carry on with the build. She knew that he didn't mean what he said.

"Okay," she nodded thoughtfully, "Okay, that's what we'll do." She could see he was panicking. Leaning forward, she decided to enjoy it while she could. "I'll get in touch with Mr Philby. Tell him there's been a question raised concerning the procurement procedure. It will set us back six months but we can cope with that." She entwined her fingers, resting her chin upon them. "We need that facility up and running by next year."

"I'm aware of that."

"I really wish everything could have been done in the proper way," she sighed. Lowering her lashes, she was suddenly too ashamed to look at him. Her fingers ran across her forehead as she tried to remain calm. "What I did in that meeting put me at a par with you."

"You had valuable information and you used it," he defended, "You didn't seek it out. You didn't blackmail anyone. Philby made the final decision, not you."

She glanced out of the window, crossing her arms once more.

* * *

When she was handed another glass of wine by the waitress, Rachel had to admit she was treading a fine line. She'd hardly eaten all day and Stuart was not someone she would want to be alone with when intoxicated. Also, she knew she hadn't ordered the glass, which made her all the more suspicious. He must have noticed, gesturing towards her glass.

"I took the liberty."

Thanking the waitress, Rachel didn't thank him. He drank some of his immediately. Despite the tension between them, Stuart appeared to be having a good time. She lifted her glass up but, wanting to gain some control, placed it back down again.

"Stuart, I mean it. You have got to be on site first thing tomorrow morning. My credibility is on the line."

He smiled, lifting up his glass. "Good food, good wine, good company."

Scowling, Rachel lifted up her glass too. "Open and honest business practices."

She wanted to make it clear why they were there, rather than what he hoped for. Swigging her glass of wine, she drank half of it in one gulp. Her excuse was that she was going to need it.

* * *

 _2_ _nd_ _March 2008_

 _Dear Eddie,_

 _What a day! I am confident that you will agree when I say that everything is such a mess. First Stuart and now Jasmine. One thing after another. My mind is completely chaotic right now. I'm struggling to process everything. Perhaps those glasses of wine didn't help._

 _I know before I may have mentioned that I liked your passion and your drive, but honestly, Eddie, stop moaning. Whatever Stuart does is not down to me. I cannot beckon him at will, which I wouldn't want to anyhow. My hands are tied. I hope I've sorted it now, although I am not entirely sure. Stuart says he is a man of his word but only when he benefits from it, so we shall see._

 _Turns out, he hasn't quite finished with me yet, as I expected. No, he asked me to dinner. He asked for purely professional reasons. At least, that was his excuse, but I know it was a lie. He keeps on apologising as if it would mean anything to me. He blackmailed me. He terrifies me. And he wants me to forgive him? To say 'oh, never mind, Stuart. We all do stupid things'. I don't think so. I can't forget the way he brushed his fingers against mine two weeks ago. It was uncomfortable and the way he looked at me was frightening. I had done my best to forget about it, yet when he took me to dinner, he reminded me all over again. He didn't even give me any choice. Like I said before, anything that happens between us is not consensual on my part. There was no question. He expected to take me to dinner without protest. The worst thing is, he knows there will be no argument on my part because he can ruin me before I can even say no._

 _It irritated me further that he dared to ask in front of you. In the morning, he didn't even try to hide that he wanted something more and when he interrupted us in the afternoon, I believe he revelled in seeing our discomfort. I'm glad you dislike him now. I've being trying so hard this past month to help you see what he is really like and now you have seen for yourself, not to the extent that I wish, however._

 _Also, I know I complained about your moaning but I am glad to see that you still care deeply. That is why I allow you to rant so often. I love to hear you grumble about one thing or another, mainly because it shows how much the school means to you, as well as the people in it. When I first arrived, you strongly opposed my ideas yet you are so invested now that you wouldn't think so. It was warming to see you argue in benefit of the students. It was what attracted you to me in the first place. And as much as you infuriate me, you do make me laugh when you rant. I can't help myself. Half of the time I have to stop myself from laughing because I know you wouldn't appreciate it. Brett Aspinall, for example. Seeing you so furious at him was rather amusing. I hardly ever see you stuck for words. It was rather refreshing._

 _Then I had to see my fair share of Grantly today. When he first appeared in my office, I thought he had changed suddenly. Of course, I should have realised that wasn't the case. It was rather naïve of me to believe that he could turn from a lazy cynic to an active member of the school in the space of a morning. I had hoped so, in order to save his role as head of English. Last week, when I heard Steph giggling about Grantly's talent in ballroom dancing, I only inquired further to hear whether it were possible for him to teach the lessons for life group. All they've been doing is accounting, interviews and such; I thought it a lovely surprise to learn something a little lighter. So, why not have some dancing lessons? Grantly didn't seem to think so, completely opposing the idea. However, it turned out he did have a good time, didn't he? Matt text me earlier, after my dinner with Stuart, telling me how the lesson went. Apparently, our Mr Budgen is just at good at breakdancing as he is ballroom. Who knew? Not Bolton, evidently, who asked him to do so in the first place. I even received a video that has been circling around since this afternoon and I must say Grantly surprised me. He's much livelier than anyone could give him credit. Even his remark of needing more talcum powder after all that dancing made me laugh. Guaranteed, I was a little giddy from the alcohol I had consumed. After the wine, I had helped myself to the brandy in my house to calm the tremor that had developed in my hands._

 _As for Steph, she still hasn't produced any results yet, has she? I mean, how long does she need to get someone to sponsor our new language labs? Surely, it isn't that hard. This Claude, whether he exists or not, better produce a result soon else Steph will not be bleary-eyed any longer. Even with all your amusement on the subject, I can't have it. She is wasting our school's money which, thanks to me, we no longer have much of. So, as much as she is incompetent, the lack of money is mainly my fault and I must admit that. That is partly why I have put the pressure on Steph, even more so now._

 _Then there was all that trouble with Jasmine. I never thought anything like this would ever happen. The situation spiralled out of control before I could even understand what was happening. One minute, Jasmine had intervened in a bullying incident than she was being accused of assault by Michaela, who happened to be the one pushing young boys into cars. Whether Jasmine lost her nerve or not, I know she would never have purposefully hit Michaela. One other thing, if she 'battered' or punched Michaela as is the preferred verb, then it would have resulted in something different to a cut cheek. How can a punch result in a wound like that? I don't understand it. It clearly wasn't thought through and stupid on their part. At the end of the day, we cannot prove this, and if an allegation is made, what can I do but go through with the procedure? Why has everyone except Tom spoke against me? I did what I was meant to. I did my job. Why is that so wrong? Please tell me._

 _Your problem is that you think with your heart rather than your head. Your way of thinking isn't thinking at all. You feel it instead. You feel that Jasmine is innocent and you feel you should help her; therefore, you will do anything to support her. It's that straightforward to you. Yet, it isn't really. You look at me and you can't understand why I think so mechanically. Well, what else am I meant to do? I have a job to do and doing anything else would result in my professionalism being called into question. That isn't something I can afford, especially not know. Not with everything else that has happened. I cannot follow my heart. I haven't done that in years. Instead, I look at the facts and that is all I can consider. If that seems so terrible to you than I apologise but there is nothing I can change about that. If Jasmine is as innocent as she claims then she will be back with us before you know it. Until then, we shall content ourselves with what we have._

 _Yours,_

 _Rachel xx_


	10. Chapter 10

This one is short compared to the others, which is good for you :P I've got exams and then a busy summer so updates will be far and few but I'll still be going so don't worry. And this is also for becstaarrrr who needs a little Reddie boost in this hard time of relapse x

* * *

It had become a daily routine that Rachel would start her work at school before everyone else arrived, and when Eddie did join her, he complained about one thing or another. She took it as a compliment that he wanted to share his troubles with her, let her comfort him. That morning, Eddie had stormed in ranting about Brett and Mika who had taken all of the light bulbs from the school corridors. They were planning to change them to more eco-friendly bulbs, which had not been given permission for. Except that, apparently, Rachel had given the permission.

"Eddie," she sighed, "It was an off the cuff remark." She pulled a letter from an envelope that was in her hand. He placed his hand over his face, annoyed with her.

"Mika was doing her eco warrior bit and I said if she cared so much then what were her and Brett doing about it?"

She started to read the letter, not particularly annoyed with what had happened. Having eco-friendly bulbs would be good for the school, especially if Mika and Brett wanted to do all the work themselves. In front of her, Eddie dug his hands into his pockets. It obviously had disgruntled him more than it should have.

"It would have been nice to be told."

She dropped the letter, realising she wouldn't be able to read it while he was still there.

"How was I supposed to know what they had planned?" she cried, "I half hoped they would use the school council."

"That's a bit beneath them;" he scoffed, "That's not the only thing you haven't told me."

She leant forward, almost breathless from the endless possibilities of what he might know. Then, by the way his eyes brightened, she knew it couldn't be anything serious. It had to be about Jasmine's meeting.

"What? About the parent governors?"

Eddie raised his eyebrows.

"I only found out about it myself last thing," she huffed.

"Ever heard of a phone?"

Rachel could imagine her on the phone to Eddie at home, almost like a young girl would be with her high school crush. Picking up her folders, she proceeded to stuff them back into the cupboards.

"I just didn't want you charging in and making things worse," she explained.

Even with her back to him, she could feel the irritation radiating off of him.

"Do you think I could?" he cried. She peered over her shoulder at him. "Michaela's lording it and the school is waiting for a supply teacher who never shows."

She walked back to the desk, frustrated she had to keep on explaining herself.

"Well, I called the agency and they're sending someone in."

She was hoping that would change his moaning to the agency but it didn't.

"We don't need someone else," he strained, "We should be fighting tooth and nail for Jasmine."

Looking up, she stood straight as her lips parted in protest. "No, Eddie," she argued, "What we are required to do is to remain impartial."

Rachel couldn't help pointing her finger, accusatory. He tutted, rolling his eyes. The closer they became, the more he tended to ignore her advice.

"I'll remember to tell her," he huffed, heading for the door.

It caught her attention, her head snapping upwards.

"Have you seen her?"

Eddie spun around, not realising what the problem was.

"She's looking for a reference to retrain," he explained.

"Eddie, you've got to keep your distance. Is that understood?"

He didn't even look at her as his hands dug further into his pockets, nodding.

"Yes," he whispered, reminiscent of a petulant child.

As he was about to leave, there was a knock at the door. She was still shaking her head in disapproval when Eddie opened the door, trying to ignore her. On the other side was a man she had never seen before, a satchel over his shoulder. He looked quite surprised to see Eddie.

"Hello, Wilson Bingham," he greeted, "Replacement supply, covering Miss Korechi's class."

Eddie glanced over at Rachel. She ignored him, glad that something was finally going right.

* * *

After lunchtime, Rachel had heard about the revelation of Matt's sexuality. It wasn't a complete surprise to the staff but to the students, it was a new stick to beat him with. It was a revelation brought on by Matt's school trip that morning. They had gone to a software company, where the CEO just happened to be Matt's boyfriend. Maxine had found out and before they had even left the company, everyone at school knew. Since then, Matt had been mocked everywhere he went. It had been two hours since he had arrived back.

Knowing he was in the cooler, Rachel went to find him. She saw him sitting with Dominic, who clearly had done something that Matt had managed to forgive him for. When they noticed her arrive, Dominic left. She stepped back to let him pass, smiling before closing the door firmly behind her.

"Been an eventful day?" she asked.

He smiled awkwardly in reply, nodding his head slowly. He was sat on the edge of a desk, still unable to look her in the eye. Walking past him, she sat on the desk next to his.

"You in the mood for a talk?" she continued.

"Any choice?" he sighed.

Exhaling lightly, she looked down at the floor. It was obviously going to be a difficult subject to approach.

"Matt, I can imagine how you must be feeling," she began.

"Really?" He looked at the wall, away from her. "It's not your private life being branded around, is it?"

With Stuart always nearby, Rachel was sure she could be exactly in the same position. She knew what that could be like, to have everyone know about her life outside of the school.

"No," she nodded, "but that doesn't mean I can't put myself in your shoes, and I would like to offer my help." He finally met her eye. "Offer it as a friend."

Smiling in comfort, she managed to get a small smile back.

"Any time," she confirmed.

Standing, she knew he needed time alone. She glanced at him once more as she left, resigning herself back to her office.

* * *

Rachel was typing on her laptop when there was a knock on her door. It was too polite to be Eddie so she guessed it was a visitor. Looking up in surprise, she was about to call them in when Stuart entered. She closed her laptop immediately.

"I thought you weren't coming."

She had waited all day for him to arrive, thinking he would have appeared early in the morning. Stuart closed the door behind him, not bothered how late he was.

"Contractors meeting. Sorry."

When he turned to her, she noticed that he was holding a large, brown envelope. Her back straightened at the thought of what was in there.

"Still, I hope I'm worth the wait," he joked.

As soon as he was close enough, she reached out for the envelope, snatching it from him. She wanted it in her hands as soon as she could, wishing for it all to be over. Inside was a blue folder, which she slipped out. It was full of various papers. Flicking through them quickly, she picked up a newspaper clipping that she had never seen before. Reading the headline, she nearly flushed with shame. The picture was of her and Tess just behind. She had known she was on a newspaper but had never seen it. Seeing a flashback to her past, Rachel felt her grip tighten on the paper.

"It's all there," said Stuart, "A man of my word."

Surprised at the interruption, she glanced up quickly.

"Thank you," she whispered.

Closing the folder, she slid it back into the envelope. She never wanted to see those papers again, not if she could help it.

"I'm grateful," she added, louder.

Rachel managed to look him in the eye. When he smiled at her, she stood, wanting him to leave now she had all the evidence.

"Any other time I'd offer you a drink but I've got a governor's meeting."

"That's okay. I'll settle for a chance of taking you to dinner again." Hearing him try and offer another date, she lowered her eyelashes, embarrassed to reject him. "I thought that Thai place might be worth exploring." She refused to look at him. "Shall I take that as a yes?"

Looking back up, her eyes only reached his shoulders.

"I can't."

She tried to smile but she couldn't.

"Rachel, it's a meal," he frowned, "Two consenting adults sharing a bit of food. If it goes any further then…"

"That won't happen," she interrupted.

She had to make it clear where she stood, knowing it wouldn't stop otherwise. He was clearly disappointed, scaring her all the more.

"Apart from everything else, I want to start with a clean slate," she explained.

Stuart looked deeply bothered by her rejection, unsure of how to proceed.

"Right. You got what you want, and erm, that's it."

When she managed to look him in the eye, he wasn't even looking at her.

"Let's leave it at that, please," she pleaded, her voice quieter than she had hoped.

He nodded; about to say something when there was a loud, rapid knock on the door. Rachel knew who it was before they had even entered. As she hurried to shove the envelope into the top drawer, Eddie's head poked around the door.

"Oh, I'm sorry," he frowned, "I didn't realise you've got company."

She knew he had seen the envelope. He was trying to pretend he hadn't noticed, his attention changing to Stuart, almost glaring at him accusingly.

"No, you're fine," excused Stuart, "Rachel and I are just about done, I think."

He couldn't have been more right, she thought. Sitting down, she tried to smile in reassurance. Who that reassurance was for, she wasn't sure. Stuart turned back to her, nodding awkwardly.

"Thank you for your time." He seemed so sad; she parted her lips to say something yet didn't know what to say. "I think we're straight."

He left before she could form a coherent answer. Breathing heavily, she tried to calm herself as Eddie closed the door angrily behind Stuart.

"What did knob the builder want?" he huffed.

Looking down at the desk, Rachel didn't think she could answer him. He knew she wasn't going to answer without prompting, walking towards her.

"Well, it was more than just delivering something."

For once, she suddenly wished she and Eddie weren't always so honest with each other and for the first time since her first day, she didn't want him with her. She wanted him to leave. Sighing heavily, she managed to meet his strong gaze.

"As you ask," she snapped, "A date and I said no. Happy?"

Getting his answer, Eddie forgot completely about Stuart.

"I'll be happy if you let me address the governors."  
She knew he had only let it slip because he was more worried about Jasmine.

"I thought we agreed to be impartial," she warned.

He handed her a thin booklet, beaming with pride. "I wanted to present some evidence."

As she flicked through the pages, she realised with the booklet contained, pursing her lips.

* * *

Once the school day had finished, Rachel was watching the children leave on the playground when Eddie approached her, inquiring as to whether they should return to her office. They needed to prepare for when the governor's arrived. While they were striding through the corridors, Rachel wanted to know how he had collected all those incidents of Michaela's bullying. Turns out, he had asked Mika and Brett to do it, although he didn't explain how.

"So, what's the pay off?" she beckoned, eager to know. "Mika Grainger would not do your dirty work for nothing."

"I merely persuaded her on more important things than solar panels."

She was pleased with his initiative but wasn't sure how well it would persuade the governors.

"It's great," she reasoned, "but it's not going to be enough. Unless the governors believe Jasmine is a decent teacher, there's not a lot of hope for her. Do you think she's going to turn up?"

He checked his watch as they started up the stairs, still confident in Jasmine. Despite her nerves, Rachel was glad to see he believed so strongly in another member of staff.

They were in her office, staring out of the window when the governor's cars parked outside. Glancing at the clock, she noted it was half past five. Crossing her arms tightly, she could feel Eddie close behind her. He reached out to move the blinds, watching them exchange handshakes outside.

"Here we go," he muttered, "Crack open the custard creams."

He sounded nervous.

"I thought you were the one who was confident of the result," she frowned.

She knew she had to meet them, turning to leave the office. It wasn't until she stepped out into the corridor that she realised Eddie wasn't following her. Pausing, she was conflicted on whether she should return or not. She decided against it, hurrying down the stairs.

* * *

She ushered the governors into the meeting room, where they were fairly pleased with the arrangement of biscuits pushed their way. Eddie eventually appeared, sterner than usual. Nigel seated himself in the middle with Rachel and Eddie either side. The rest of the governor's filled the remaining seats, grumbling between themselves. They fell quiet when Michaela and her father entered. Rachel noticed Eddie's frequent glances between his watch and Jasmine's empty seat.

After ten minutes waiting, even Nigel became impatient, turning to her.

"Miss Korechi was aware of the time?"

Rachel glanced quickly at Eddie, checking his reaction. She could see how displeased he was. He moved back in his seat, trying to remain passive.

"Yes," she clarified, "We checked."

"In which case, it is unfortunate she has elected not to appear," sighed Nigel, "It does tend to suggest she is less than certain of her own defence."

Eddie quickly jumped in, eager to help Jasmine in any way possible.

"Actually, before we kick off, I'd like to show you this report."

Nigel eyed the booklet sceptically. "Is it pertinent?"

"I think you should be the judges of that."

He handed the copies of the booklets across the table, having already thought ahead. It was shocking how many cases there actually were of Michaela's bullying. As they all pulled one in front of them, Eddie opened the booklet with relish.

"This was drawn up by the school council. It lists over forty incidents of bullying perpetrated by Michaela."

Frowning at Eddie, Rachel couldn't help narrowing her eyes.

"You what?" cried Michaela.

They all opened their booklets, apart from Rachel. She was trying to gage how Eddie would respond in the situation.

"Let's have a look, shall we?" he smiled. He started to read from the various incidents. "First day back, Michaela White held a year eight boy's head in a full sink of water until he nearly passed out."

He stared at Michaela only seconds after he had started reading. He wanted to see her reaction. Rachel could see Mr White was visibly surprised, evidently thinking his daughter incapable of such a thing. Sensing that, Michaela turned to him.

"He's making it up, dad."

Mr White sat back, his arms folding. He seemed to be reassuring himself.

"Yeah, they're just sticking up for each other."

Eddie shrugged, not bothered by Mr White's ignorance.

"So, you don't remember that incident? Well, let's try this and this had seven different witnesses. Michaela and her gang made a year nine boy eat grass and moo."

These incidents must have ranged since Michaela first started at Waterloo Road as Rachel had never heard of that. Naturally, Eddie was picking the worse scenarios to highlight her viciousness. Michaela's eyes widened but reacted in no other way. Seeing her so unaffected by other's misfortune, Rachel glared at Michaela, watching her carefully. She always knew that the girl had never given much thought to her exploits and that bothered her greatly.

"Shall I carry on?" Eddie questioned.

"Mr White, that does cast a different light on matters," asserted Nigel.

Mr White looked down, not answering. Even two seats away, Rachel could feel Eddie's enjoyment.

"Michaela White is a thug and a bully," he stated.

While her father's head was still down, Michaela glared at Eddie. Mr White's head shot back up, glancing at her for some kind of reassurance. She was frantic to persuade him.

"No way, dad. Look, it was Sasha. I was just there."

Eddie was smiling in his knowledge that she was guilty, as guilty as she was in lying about Jasmine. Mr White was finding it hard to believe her, glancing at the booklets in the governor's hands. Michaela turned to Eddie, smug.

"It doesn't matter anyway. Korechi hit me. I had a bruise out there." Her finger moved close to her face, measuring how big her apparent bruise was. "There's no getting round that."

Rachel had to argue that Michaela did not have a bruise. She had a cut. It had bled, not swollen. Eddie knew that too, smiling to himself. Nigel sat back, having not seen Michaela before, not knowing what injury she had.

"Michaela has a point, especially as Miss Korechi is not here to dispute these claims."

Eddie smile dropped, blinking in surprise.

"I'm sorry but this is daft," he declared passionately, "Just because Jasmine isn't here, it doesn't mean…"

She could see him growing angrier, close to losing his professionalism. Leaning forward, she warned him softly, hoping part of him would be calm when he heard her.

"Eddie, you said yourself."

There was a second when he searched for reassurance, his eyes finding the comfort in hers. She didn't know what to do or say. To spare them the awkwardness, Jasmine introduced herself with a timid knock. Both of their heads turned to the door. Seeing her, they sat back in surprise.

"I'm sorry I'm late," she pardoned.

"Miss Korechi," Nigel muttered, evidently irritated.

She walked towards the table, not bothering to sit down. Rachel and Eddie unknowingly folded their hands simultaneously.

"Look, what I've got to say won't take long," she said, "I didn't batter Michaela."

Eddie glanced over at the student in question, who scowled, turning her head to Jasmine.

"Says who?"

Mr White turned too, his arms folding especially tight. Even with all eyes on her, Jasmine remained steady in her answer.

"Says your mates. They just fussed up. Sasha hit you."

Mr White turned from them all, infuriated that his daughter had been proven wrong. Michaela was wide eyed as she considered her English teacher. Knowing that Jasmine was clear, Rachel checked with Eddie. He had calmed considerably well.

"So, there is no case to answer," he smiled.

Rachel couldn't help but smile also, relieved Jasmine had been found innocent.

"Hold up, Eddie," interrupted Jasmine, "I'm not finished."

Sitting forward, Rachel was worried that the teacher had formed the wrong conclusion.

"Jasmine, if Sasha and Angie are withdrawing their witness statements then you leave here without a blemish."

Michaela was biting her knuckle, her hand suddenly falling into her lap.

"Well, this ain't finished," she exclaimed.

"Oh, I don't doubt it." Jasmine paused, thinking carefully about what she was going to say. "So if you fancy taking me, then go ahead. Or you can always try learning from me, someone the same as you. Someone who came out the other side." Rachel couldn't help but see Eddie's reaction. Noting his pride, she couldn't help the small smile that tugged on her lips. "So, please, don't go reinstating me because you think I've learnt my lesson. This is me as I am or this." Rachel and Eddie shared a grin, unable to hide how satisfied they were with the result. "My resignation."

She placed it carefully in front of Eddie. He didn't even take note of it, grinning up at her.

* * *

Rachel strode into the office moments later with Eddie in tow.

"Yeah, it was almost as if she had been coached," she laughed.

She was half hinting that she knew of Eddie's visits to Jasmine's. He had done well to try and hide them, but he couldn't get past her. Rachel secretly thought it was adorable. She had asked him to not help a friend of his and he had ignored her all the same. She should have been angry but she wasn't. Looking over her shoulder, she saw him shrug, still beaming from the meeting.

"Not coached. Reminded. Why we do this. It's not out of respect, is it?"

Picking up her coat, she flung it over her arm. Her fingers grasped her bag as she turned to him.

"Listen, I've got to take the governors out for a drink. Can I leave you to lock up?"

"Yeah, course," he nodded.

"Okay, nighty night," she smiled.

She left her office, hearing his quiet response.

"Yeah, night."

As she closed the door behind her, she could still feel his strong gaze on her as she disappeared from his sight.

* * *

 _5_ _th_ _March 2008_

 _Dear Eddie,_

 _Not much has happened today, not really. The first problem of the day was Brett and Mika, which I do believe has been sorted. It's nice that our pupils show plenty of passion, whether it drives us insane or not. I don't care what they do, as long as nobody is put at risk and they are happy to do the work themselves. I have to admit, I was rather amused when you stormed in, complaining about one thing or another. Mika obviously put you through your paces today. Good for you, sticking to your beliefs. I know she's been hounding you about your 4x4, hoping you'll do the Earth a favour and cycle to school. You don't seem like the kind of man who cycles much. The image of you doing so does make me laugh._

 _Hearing about Matt today has made me reflect on what might happen if I were ever in that position. Understandably he was upset, but I don't think it was much of a surprise, was it? For the children maybe. Not for me. Bless him, he had a bad day. I have to give him credit that he did well to carry on as always. I can't imagine what that humiliation must be like. Well, I can. I can imagine what I would feel like if it so happened that my past was revealed, but then I am still only imagining. It hasn't happened, and after Stuart gave me the folder, I hope it never will._

 _I have never been glad to see Stuart, although when I saw him today, I couldn't have been happier. I wanted that file and I wanted to get rid of it. Anything and everything that could lead to my past was in there. It hurt somewhat to see how much evidence there was but what can I do? I cannot change my past. Trust me, if I could, I would. That happiness was short lived when he asked me on a date. He didn't phrase it quite like that but it was obvious what he was implying. What made me nauseous was that he thought there could be something between us. The dinner we went on was boring in the fact that absolutely nothing happened. We talked about various things, about my past, but that was it. I can't believe he thought there could ever be anything between us, that we could go beyond colleagues. We're not even colleagues? Are we? He is building the new centre for my school so in a way we are._

 _Either way, it was uncomfortable to see his disappointment. As I've said before, I don't like male attention. Stuart seems to be giving plenty of that, which I don't need. I almost felt sorry for him when I rejected him. Almost. He looked rather pitiful. I was glad, to begin with, when we were interrupted, although I wasn't glad that you noticed the envelope. I hope you never have to see what is in that folder. It would kill me if you were to know what I had once been._

 _It was nice to see you support another member of staff with such conviction. I know that you and Jasmine formed a fast friendship when you both started at the school, which I respect completely, and to see that friendship at full force when Jasmine needed the support the most, it was nice to see. It was nice to see that you care so strongly. I know you do but to see it in action was a surprise and a comfort. Sometimes I couldn't help but wonder whether you would do the same for me. I don't think our friendship is the same as Jasmine and yours, if we can even call what we have a friendship. I would like to think so. Even so, it would mean everything to me if you did support me as much as you did her. I've never had anyone care about me as much as you cared about Jasmine._

 _I've noticed more moments between us too. I don't know whether you notice them but I have. To anyone who has read these letters, which so far is nobody, they would know that I am attracted to you. I've been hoping that it hasn't been that obvious but I'm not entirely sure. Like this morning, your eyes brightened and I knew exactly what you were thinking. To have that connection with someone is so nice. I don't know what other word to use. It is nice. I've never really had connections with people before. It doesn't usually happen, especially not in the work place. Or like on Monday when I had to suspend Jasmine and your hand rested on the back of my chair. It drove me to distraction to feel you so close. I don't know whether I wanted you to touch me or not, not in any way other than for support, to feel your touch on the back of my neck. If you had, I might not have remained as professional as I would have hoped. And again that day when Stuart arrived to take me to dinner, when I reached for your hand, you didn't move away. You let my fingers rest on yours. You didn't respond in any way, which I take as a good thing. I don't believe you let just anyone rest their hand on yours. I can't even explain how desperately I wanted you to go._

 _As for today, I feel as though our personal boundaries are becoming non-existent. I mean, the better friends we become, the closer we always seem to be to each other. When the governor's arrived, I could feel you standing right behind me. Close enough that if I took one step back, I would be pressed against you. Since when did that happen? How have I not noticed how close we have become? I don't know, yet I don't want it to stop. Not ever. It felt so natural to have you there. Even when you reached across to move the blind, you were so close and yet I didn't feel uncomfortable or worried. I shouldn't let you that close. Not as a professional and certainly not as anything else._

 _And one more thing, when we were waiting for Jasmine and I tried to calm you down, there was something more that I couldn't quite work out. You were seeking comfort and reassurance from me and I was trying to give it to you as best as I could. We didn't speak and we didn't even touch. We just looked at each other. And somehow, we managed to find what we wanted. I'm not sure what it was. It surprised me that you did find comfort from me and that I was able to give it to you. That means more to me than you know. I want you to remember that. If you ever need me, I want to be able to give you comfort._

 _I shall finish this here; else I shall be pondering on this for far too long._

 _Yours,_

 _Rachel xxx_


	11. Chapter 11

So this is a break from the letters and such and back into the present tense. This is from Eddie's perspective and I hope it's okay. Let me know what you think :) Much love x

* * *

 **2010**

All Eddie could hear was the rustle of his trousers as he strode down the corridor. It was another end of the week, another promise of a lie in and much needed peace.

The past year had been spent as the head teacher of Kingsway, a secondary school at the opposite side of Rochdale. It had been the perfect location and position for him after the year before. There had been a very conscious decision to stay aware from a certain area and from certain people. As far as Eddie Lawson was concerned, his time at Waterloo Road would firmly remain as a fond memory and nothing more.

His first year as head teacher was almost over and he had been given nothing but positive reviews. Of course, he strived to be perfect but he was always aware that he could never be better than _her_. Gaining the headship wasn't as satisfying as he had always thought it to be.

Glancing down at his watch, Eddie noticed he needed to be home in less than twenty minutes. Philip was meant to be visiting him and the careless boy had forgotten his spare key. He had messaged to say he would be stood outside. Eddie didn't want to leave him waiting in the cold. Despite it being spring, it was one of the coldest springs to date. There was a certain chill in the air.

"See you Monday," called one of the teachers.

He nodded in their direction. "You too."

Kingsway's art teacher bristled past, noticing him with a wide smile. Jennifer was an incredibly positive and enthusiastic member of staff, and very attractive, as far as Eddie was concerned. There had been hints that she wouldn't mind them crossing the personal boundary, yet Eddie knew better than to mix his professional and personal life.

"I see you're off home then," she grinned, stopping to talk.

He wished she hadn't.

"Yeah," he nodded, "I have family coming round to see me. I don't want to keep them waiting."

Mr Lawson was not a man to discuss family life in school. At least, not since being at Kingsway. Even such a hint of his personal life thrilled Jennifer.

"Ooh, that sounds exciting. Doing anything good?"

He knew what she was doing and he found he couldn't bring himself to tell her anything further.

"Not really, just a chat." Eddie glanced down the corridor, conscious of the time. "Sorry, I really have to be going. I'll see you later."

"Sure." She watched him leave, frustrated that he hadn't taken another hint.

Eddie clambered into the car, immediately phoning Philip. He had struggled at first with Bluetooth. It made him feel slightly old; he realised he was out of his depth when it came to new car technology. Philip had been the one to set it all up, joking thoughtlessly that he had had to do exactly the same thing with _her_. He had stopped short, realising his mistake. Eddie had pretended he hadn't heard, inquiring into something else.

The line connected and he was relieved to hear the boy answer.

"Hey, are you there yet?" he questioned immediately.

He could hear the slight huff of breath from the other side, probably Philip walking.

"Yeah, I'll be there in five. I might pop to the chip shop. Do you want anything?"

"Well, I was going to make us something fresh. You need it, mate."

It was silent for a second.

"Fine," Philip sighed, "I haven't been getting much at home. Women are crazy over these new diets."

Eddie could imagine, smiling to himself.

"Well, nothing like that, I promise," he chuckled, "Just wait till I get there. No chips."

"Got you. No chips."

* * *

Eddie had to admit he was glad to see him. There had been far and few visits between the two since last year but Philip was now a permanent fixture in his life. Philip had found a father figure in him that had been absent the whole of his life and had been happy to keep in contact. Plus, he made a good friend for Michael too.

Their dinner had been pleasant but Eddie knew there was something bothering Philip. He kept on flickering his eyes towards his bag lying against the wall, occasionally falling quiet.

"Are you alright, mate?" he asked.

Philip flicked his head up, momentarily surprised. "What? Oh, yeah. I'm fine."

He didn't seem to want to elaborate so Eddie thought to change the subject.

"Well, you must be pretty busy with planning for university and all that. I've heard you've been doing quite well with your A-Levels and you've been doing a bit in comedy?"

"Yeah, I have done a couple of small comedy shows," he nodded, "They seem to be doing quite well. Hopefully, I can carry on with that when I go to university."

"Where are you going?"

"Well, I have offers from London, Manchester, Edinburgh, and Birmingham, but I was just thinking of staying in Manchester."

Eddie couldn't help but show his disapproval. His fork fell loudly onto his plate as he stared ahead at Philip.

"Look, Phil, I don't think that's a good idea." He could see he was going to be met with resistance but that boy was going to see sense if Eddie could help it. "Go and live your life. Don't think you have to stay here for whatever reason. Why not go to London or Edinburgh? Expand your horizons."

"I just think it's best to stay here," he explained, "Manchester is still a train's journey away. I can stay in the city centre. It's just that I would feel better knowing I'm a short distance from home. I'd like to know that everyone is okay."

Eddie knew exactly who Philip was thinking of, knowing that _she_ wouldn't want him to stay for her sake.

"Besides, I've travelled a lot when mom was moving round," Phil continued, "I've finally found a place I'm comfortable and happy."

"And you will always be welcomed home," smiled Eddie, "But go and find more places. Everyone will still be here and okay when you return."

"But you can't promise that."

Eddie watched him for a moment and knew there was something wrong at home. There had to be. Since he had moved in with his aunt, he had been increasingly happier, but something was stopping him from leaving her.

"Phil, what's wrong? Really."

Philip took a deep breath, his gaze flickering back to his bag.

"Well, I found something. Something I think you should read."

His questioning stare made Philip reach for his bag, fumbling through. Eddie was extremely confused as to what it may be. Philip had grown into a confident man within his aunt's care, yet he had suddenly became the same nervous ruin that had been evident last year. He took out a small, black book from his bag. Suddenly Eddie realised what he had done.

That book was too familiar to him. He had seen it in _her_ hands, in _her_ house and in _her_ office. Of course he had never known exactly what it was but he could guess. She had been careful not to let anyone near it and he was sure he was one of the only people to know of its existence. Philip had taken one of _her_ most intimate items and for what?

He stared sceptically at Philip who held the book out for him to take. Eddie didn't know whether to berate him or accept it. Slowly, he reached out and took it. His fingers brushed over the front in longing, almost scared to open it. This was confidential property and a severe breach of privacy. Yet he found himself opening the front page. There were a few scribbles that made no sense to him but Philip had given it to him for some reason. He flicked the next page over and saw a list of teacher's names from Waterloo Road when she had arrived, interesting summaries beside them. Eddie could even smell the faint hint of her perfume where her wrist had brushed against the pages. Turning another page, he was startled to see his name. There was a letter addressed to him. He flicked through the whole book, his heart beating fast. The book was full of letters to him.


	12. Chapter 12

I think the letter on this is the longest so far but that is because it's where Eddie finds out about Rachel's past. Let me know what you think about this as we don't really know much about Rachel's past. Also, if there's anything you'd like me to address or any concerns, let me know :) Of course I have my own idea about this but I'd like to hear feedback. Thanks, guys!

* * *

Rachel had to concede that she was in a perfectly good mood. It was rare but it was undoubtedly treasured. Somehow, she had woken up, spring was in full force, and she had felt perfectly content. Nobody could have ruined her day. Not even when she was facing Grantly, watching him stare down at her set menu in disgust.

"The governor's AGM? Which pupils are involved?"

"Okay," she nodded, rushing to her desk. She picked up a list of pupils who she had marked down. "We have Aleesha Dillon and Danielle Harker."

She was interrupted straight away as Grantly's head shot up at the sound of their names.

"No, not them. Not those two."

Looking over the paper at him, she judged his reaction whilst still leaning over the desk. Grantly had asked for more involvement within the school and she had given him no other choice. The governors were to be given a set menu, created by the pupils to show how well the lessons for life group were progressing. It was Eddie's creation and she was steering it to success.

"Well, those two have a lot to learn about community spirit," she reasoned. "We have Paul Langley, Bolton Smilie, you know, the lessons for life group."

While he continued to frown at the menu, Rachel seated herself, waiting patiently for his response. She was prepared to debate with him.

"You want me to produce this with that lot?" He glanced up, shaking his head. "No. You've got to be joking."

She stood, knowing he would bend to her will eventually. As she stood beside him, she couldn't believe that he didn't want to help the pupils when he had specifically asked for more responsibility.

"You're my last hope," she simpered, "And you'll be doing a personal favour for me."

Any thought that she could owe him a favour certainly motivated Grantly. And so, as she seated herself once more, Rachel had to admit she couldn't have anything but a good day.

* * *

The sofa beside the window had beckoned her and she had sat there to spend a minute or two to drink coffee. Rachel had managed to catch up reasonably well on her paperwork, due to a filled weekend and she was using her time to relax briefly. Crossing her legs, she was listening to the phone ring at Bridget's desk when Eddie stomped in, closing the door behind him.

He didn't say anything but she could see him bristling with anger. He stood there, hands in pockets, glaring down at her. It made her uncomfortable but she ignored it. Rolling her eyes, she set her mug onto the table. He had been like that all week and she didn't know why. She had trusted that he would tell her but he still had not mentioned anything, unusual for him.

"Did you get out of the wrong side of the bed this morning?"

He dug his hands further into his pockets, unable to comprehend why she had asked.

"What exactly do you mean by that?" he grunted.

She was used to his sulkiness, amused by the situation. It didn't occur to her that it was anything she had done.

"Oh, come on, Eddie," she laughed, "I'm joking."

Rachel leant forward with a smile, her fingers curling on her knees.

"Yeah and I'm not laughing."

Cocking her head to her side, Rachel could feel her good mood starting to waver. She couldn't wait for him to tell her any longer. He'd never been so irritated before.

"What's wrong? You've been a pain in the butt all week. What is it?"

There was silence for a moment before he managed to blurt out his response.

"I know."

With wide eyes, her fingers curled even tighter. Within seconds, she had contemplated what he had said and denied it. Rachel couldn't bring herself to believe it was true. How could he know? Her breathing became erratic, her anxiety swelling to an almighty rate. She tried to calm herself but all she could manage was a sharp intake of breath.

"What do you know?"

She knew she didn't have to ask at all. The answer was horrifying to her. Eddie would say it either way so she might as well have it done on her terms, clasping the only control she had.

"I know about your past, Rachel."

Unable to take her eyes off of him, she wasn't sure what to do. She should have protested, fiercely objecting to any criticism he had, but she stayed silent. He had muttered her name with such distaste, looking away as he said it, allowing her to see just how disgusted he was.

"Amanda," he spat. "Whatever your name is." He managed to look her in the eye. "Who'd have thought it, eh? Our fine, upstanding head teacher…" His resentful stare caused her to close her eyes, frightened to hear him finish the sentence. After everything that had happened, she thought he would never find out. "…Was once a prostitute."

Her lowered lids slowly began to rise again, tears threatening to fall, matted in her lashes. Sighing shakily, she didn't know how to respond to him. Rachel couldn't even conceive how he had found out. There were endless possibilities, but none that should have ended in this result. Hearing no response, Eddie pulled on the door handle.

"Eddie, where are you going?" she panicked.

His leave terrified her, partly because she couldn't bring herself to be alone, even with all his anger.

"I thought you had principles." His voice was rough with resentment, a sound she thought she'd never hear. "Got your new build boxed off with your mate, Stuart Hordley, if that's his real name. Nice little carve up."

Before she could defend herself, he had slammed the door behind him. She winced at the sound, the way it rang through her ears, her hands gripping tightly onto her leg. Glancing down at her coffee, she found she wasn't thirsty any more.

* * *

It had only been five minutes since he had left, yet Rachel knew she had to speak to him for her own peace of mind. And his.

Peering through the window of his door, she could see him leaning over the desk. There were piles of coursework for him to mark but he wasn't moving. He just stared at the paper on top. She entered without knocking, feeling all familiarities they had disappear.

Eddie glanced up, disgruntled to see her. Picking up a pen, he started to mark the coursework. Rachel stood directly before him, hoping he would take notice of her.

"Stuart Hordley and I are not mates, or cronies, or anything like that," she confirmed quietly. When he didn't look at her, she raised her voice. "Eddie!"

He dropped his pen onto the desk, the thud dangerously loud in the atmosphere. His fingers knotted together as he waited for her to speak. He couldn't look at her for long.

"Then what was he doing handing that file to you?"

It became clear how he had discovered her secret. He had seen the file when Rachel stuffed it into her drawer and he had read it out of curiosity, no doubt seeing the terrible amount of evidence piled against her. Embarrassed, she changed her attention to the corridor outside.

"Being public spirited?" he snarled.

"His secretary, erm, she used to know me before I went into teaching." She was finding it hard to speak above a whisper, her voice wavering. As she spoke, he returned his attention to the desk. "He was doing me a favour."

He humphed righteously. "I don't believe you."

"Well, that's your choice," she decided, "How long have you known?"

He sat back, reluctant to discuss the subject matter even as he had been the one to bring it up. She needed to know. He knew that and without wanting to admit it, he couldn't deny her still. His hands dropped to his sides as he tried to avoid answering.

"Does it matter? I know. That's problem enough."

"It was a very long time ago," she protested.

He peered out of the window. "No," he announced, shaking his head. His finger tapped against the wood, punctuating every word that left him. "It's now. It's yesterday. It's this term. So many lies, Rachel."

Eddie had grown aggravated by the last sentence, uttering her name in despair. She watched as he buried his head in his hands, rubbing his forehead. It hurt her to see him so distressed, blinking quickly to rid of any tears that had begun to form. Since Stuart had arrived at her office, she had prepared for the worst. Seeing Eddie sigh heavily, his hands dropping back onto the desk as he met her eye, she knew nothing could be worse than his disappointment.

"I know you," he muttered.

"I've got a past I'm not proud of," she stammered. "What's wrong with wanting to put that behind me?"

His gaze dropped to the desk, unable to look at her any longer. She could feel her bottom lip begin to tremble as her eyes flickered to the wall, her shoulders drooping. As she tried to figure what she should say, her breathing became irregular, threatening to leave her altogether. Rachel turned away in embarrassment, deciding to walk down the aisle between the tables. She had to explain. He had to know.

"I was seventeen and things were bad at home and I got the offer of making a thousand quid a week."

If she wanted his forgiveness, she had to be honest with him. Crossing her arms, she glanced over at him but he still did not acknowledge her presence. Her bottom lip started to tremble stronger than before. Slightly irritated that he had reduced her to a flustered wreck, she pressed on.

"And it took me two years to get out of that." Her voice was audibly shaken as she struggled to control her conflicting emotions. He must have heard her urge to cry, glancing up briefly. "And the only route out was to get myself an education. That is why I'm here."

She started to walk back to him. As he spoke, his voice was low and steady, a sharp comparison to her inner hysteria.

"It'll get out, Rachel. It always does." He watched as she ran her tongue along her bottom lip, trying to calm herself. "Can you imagine the headlines?"  
"Can't we just focus on the here and now?"

She winced as she heard her voice rise in pitch, her panic painfully evident.

"Oh, for God's sake!" he shouted. He sat back abruptly, his hands rising in the air in protest. "If Stuart Hordley's secretary knows, how long before everybody knows?"

If he worried that much then perhaps he did still care for her. She stepped forward, imaging that he would admit it.

"Why does that bother you?"

Eddie lurched forward, his hands raking through his hair. He was struggling on what to say. She waited as he hunched over his desk, grabbing his pen to take his frustration out.

"I'm worried about the potential damage to this school," he yelled, jabbing the pen on the desk. "I can't stand the fact that you and Stuart Hordley…."

He stopped, unable to finish his sentence. She lowered her gaze, finding it increasingly difficult to look at him. His jaw had jutted out as he leant back, closing his eyes.

"He knows about you and he got the contract."

She knew he had started to hate Stuart, evident since he had won the contract for the new build. Eddie had managed to work out that she had been blackmailed. It wasn't an irrational guess and she knew it would only fuel his hate for Hordley.

"For the record, Stuart Hordley's bid was miles better than anyone else, and it is as simple as that."

She wanted him to look at her, trying to smile. After the comfort she had given him recently, she had foolishly hoped he would be reassured as he always was. He was staring at her in a way she had never seen before, not even on the first day. For the first time, Rachel thought he hated her. It was obvious that he did not believe her. Unable to bear his judgement, she rushed out of the room before he could form another argument, humiliated beyond belief.

* * *

After the first period, the four senior members of staff were scheduled to have a meeting. Steph and Tom had arrived on time, making themselves coffee and chatting between the two of them. Rachel sat down; her chin perched on her hand as she waited nervously for Eddie. After ten minutes, they had to concede he wasn't going to arrive. She almost didn't want him there after the morning she'd had. Tom strode over to the door, peering out expectantly.

"Do you want me to go find Eddie?"

If he wasn't going to participate in the meeting then she wasn't going to force him.

"No," she frowned, "Let's just get started."

She started to flick distractedly through the piles of work she had. Tom sat opposite her, still glancing occasionally at the door.

"What?" Steph exclaimed, "Without him? Does anybody think he's been acting really funny lately?"

Steph was well known for being the staff gossip but she did sound genuinely concerned. Rachel was worried that the staff had noticed, that they might figure out that it was something to do with her.

"Earlier he said he didn't want Stuart Hordley to work here," she continued, hoping to get a reaction from the other two.

Realising he might say something; Rachel bit her lip in panic. She didn't believe he would do that, still, there were remnants of worry, lowering her head to stare at the desk. All that she knew of Eddie, she knew that he would never stoop to the same level as Hordley, yet part of her was still frightened of the possibility. She was scared he would disappoint her as much as she had him.

Ceasing her worries, the office door opened. Three pairs of eyes fell on Eddie who hadn't seemed to notice his late arrival, unapologetic at wasting their time. Seeing him, she felt a twinge of irritation.

"Oh, we've got a very busy day," she remarked, "What with the governor's AGM."

He sauntered in, dropping into the empty seat beside her. Usually the both of them enjoyed sitting together in meetings. The sudden change had left them both unsure of how they should behave when with other members of staff. She glanced over at him.

"I presume you're going to talk them through the new staff structure?"

He stared at her. Even though he was watching her, she knew he wasn't thinking clearly about what she was saying or what was happening around him. The revelation of her past seemed to consume him.

"Yeah," he grunted.

She hardly realised that her eyebrows jerked upwards, a clear indication of how irritated she was. He stared back, a clear indication of how irritated he was. Remembering where they were, Rachel glanced around nervously. Steph and Tom were both suddenly interested in anything that wasn't their head and deputy, their attention fixing on their paperwork. Rachel's fingertips grazed across the side of her mug then the paper in front of her, unsure of what she was doing. For once, Steph's forced chirpiness managed to save them from awkwardness.

"I'm certainly looking forward to the kid's buffet."

"Well, we've got Grantly in there, keeping them in check," assured Rachel. She tried to gain some control of the meeting. "Tom, if we get the green light with the new staff re-structure, I've heard Wilson's done a really great job. Do you think he will be interested in a permanent post?"

She was hoping to involve Wilson Bingham who had been covering Jasmine's classes while her suspension was still going. Even as she spoke to Steph and Tom, she could feel Eddie's heavy glare on her, resilient despite where they were. Peering over, she could feel herself falter. Rachel was ashamed that her confidence seemed to drop whenever Eddie was angry with her.

"Dunno, really," Tom spoke, "He has done a good job. He should be in the running for supply teacher of the year award."

She smiled widely in response, nodding in acknowledgement. As Tom's gaze dropped, she glanced over at Eddie who hadn't moved once since sitting down. His eyes darkened when she looked at him. Her smile fell.

* * *

Rachel pushed her chair back, marking the end of the meeting.

"Thank you, yeah."

"Cheers," thanked Tom, the first to leave.

"We'll meet up again after the AGM," she informed them.

They started to file out, apart from Eddie. She hadn't noticed until he called her back. Pausing, she realised Steph was staring after them. He must have realised too.

"Can I have a word, please?" he asked.

Understanding that she was no longer welcome, Steph turned slowly. Rachel walked back into her office, allowing Eddie to push the door closed as he stalked after her. She turned abruptly, measuring his anger against hers.

"Oh, so now you've got something to say? You made that meeting really uncomfortable for everybody."

She turned to her desk, hearing him follow.

"Yeah, well, I feel a bit out of the loop here," he cried, "You're going to have to bear with me."

The papers in her hand were dropped onto the desk. She couldn't even look at him. His voice dropped lower, more urgent than angry.

"I need to know. Why did Hordley pass that information to you?"

"I told you."

"Yeah, he did you a favour," he snorted.

Rachel could see that he needed more convincing. She wasn't even sure she could offer a convincing argument. Whilst she fumbled for a suitable answer, he leant forward.

"Why?" he prompted.

"I don't know," she exclaimed, her emotions rising again. "You're going to have to ask him that."

He scoffed as she gathered her folders. She was growing irritated again, not wanting to have had the conversation in the first place.

"Oh, Eddie," she sighed, "Let's just leave it, yeah? The bid has been accepted. Stuart is going to build us a fantastic new building. He is as passionate about it as we are." Her hands shuffled through the work on her desk, preoccupied. "We are supposed to be focusing on the kids."

"I am focusing on the kids!"

The room seemed to pause as she stared at him. It didn't seem as if she was going to get through to him after all.

"This is not about Stuart Hordley. Yeah? He is going to come through on this project."

She threw a pen into the pen holder, hearing it clatter.

"Yeah? How are you going to ensure that?" His eyes ran up and down her body, his face wrinkling in disgust. "Sleep with him?"

Rachel could not begin to register what he had said in the seconds he moved to the door. Her mouth trembled, her eyes lowered as his words rang across her mind, echoing cruelly. Her hands shook as they pressed hard against the desk, the tips of her fingers turning white. Bridget appeared a moment later with a filled cup of coffee after she had heard the faint noise of Rachel crying.

* * *

Minutes later, she was rushing after him. It was the end of break so she guessed he would be outside, collecting all the students who tended to linger. The coffee and brief break had given her misguided confidence. As she left the front doors, she could see him standing straight, hands delved into his pockets.

"Back to class," he yelled," Break is over."

Seconds later, she was beside him. Her hand rested briefly on his arm, hardly thinking about the touch. Eddie turned to her, his gaze dropping quickly to her hand. She lost her nerve. Her hand fell back to her side.

"Listen, I need you to know I didn't sleep with Hordley."

His attention moved to someone behind her.

"Get that hat off," he barked.

Her head jerked back in surprise, not expecting him to be so loud, so harsh. Sighing, her hand rested on her forehead to calm her thumping heart. Eddie leant closer to her as her fingers ran through her tangled hair.

"I'll ask him, shall I? He knows about you. You've got nothing to hide. I'll go and see him."

"Who do you think you are?" she hissed, "It is none of your business."

Her voice had risen as much as possible without shouting. It would be a great embarrassment if someone heard them.

"Anything to do with this school is my business." He noticed two boys fighting in the distance. "Pack that in!"

Her head jerked again, her hand falling down. Rachel felt her tongue press against the side of her mouth while she tried to find a convincing argument, one that she knew would be a lie.

"Look, he won that contract fair and square."

"So, you won't mind me going to see him then?" he nodded, rushing off.

She stared after him incredulously, turning a full circle slowly as she peered around her, trying to quell some of her desperation. His feet stomped against the stone steps, shouting one last time for good measure.

"And get rid of that gum!"

The bell rang out across the school for next period and Rachel decided to check on Grantly. He was her only salvation in knowing that everything was fine, compared to the day she'd had. He was leaving the food technology rooms as she was walking down the corridor.

"Oh, I was just coming to see how it is all going." She could tell he was startled to see her, pressing his back against the door. "Is everything okay?"

He smiled widely, which usually would be an indicator that he wasn't. Grantly never smiled voluntarily. "It's going great, yeah."

Rachel didn't notice his forced mood, too bothered by her own issues to care.

"Oh, good," she nodded, "I was just singing your praises to the chair of governors. He can't believe it. You know, he's got a restaurant in town."

Grantly shook his head in disbelief. When she knew he wasn't going to respond, she continued.

"Well, he has and he's just offered a slap up meal to the person who makes the best dish."

"Oh, really?"

"Grantly, I just want to say that I am really impressed with the way you've been handling things recently." She had been worried at handing him more responsibility but had happily been proven otherwise. "I know I've had doubts about your, well, your level of commitment but I'm really pleased that you're proving me wrong."

"Hm, perhaps I'm getting second wind in my old age."

She laughed lightly in response, glad to feel some relief. Grantly was encouraged by her laughter but he also looked incredibly panicked.

"Well, erm, look. We're up to our eyes in it at the moment, Rachel." Listening to him, she nodded understandingly. "And I've got to get back. Can I give you a shout when things are a bit less hectic?"

She nodded, excited for the end result. "Absolutely."

Rachel moved to step around him but he stepped the same way. They shared an awkward smile before he went around her. Her morning had been filled with distractions and so Rachel wanted nothing more than to return to normality, striding back to her office.

* * *

The pen shook in her hand as she tried to sign her name along the dotted line. Bridget, as always, had brought in a mound of paperwork that needed signing. Usually Rachel enjoyed flicking through the papers. It was fairly easy and something to keep her mind occupied, but this time it was different. Eddie never left her mind, the way he looked at her etched at the forefront.

He had known all week. The whole time he had known about her past and said nothing. Should she have seen it? How could she not have noticed the way he looked at her with disgust? It was as if her worst nightmare was forming before her eyes. Eddie meant a lot to her, professionally and platonically. Their friendship had progressed from one strength to another, only to be torn apart as soon as she had thought her past had been left behind.

If she tried to pretend nothing had happened, would he eventually forget or would he get angrier? But she couldn't pretend nothing had happened. This wasn't the usual silliness that Eddie got angry about. This was something she knew he had every right to be angry with. At least, she thought he should.

Her pen dropped onto the desk as her head fell into her hands.

"He hates me."

* * *

Eddie stormed into her office moments after she had finished signing letters. She was waiting to see whether he had contacted Stuart after all of his earlier bravado.

"Well?"

"I haven't contacted him yet," he told her, "but I've done a bit of digging."

He dropped a pile of printed paper in front of her. There was a picture of Stuart on the very first page. She had foolishly believed Hordley had been left in the past, but this discovery had resurfaced him painfully fast. Her demeanour was slipping so she rolled her eyes, starting to file her papers into a folder.

"Look, Eddie, can you just deal with it, yeah? I had a past. It's over." She got up, stuffing the folder into a drawer. "Can we just move on?"  
Eddie couldn't seem to move on, pressing on the issue. His finger stabbed at the picture of Stuart.

"I think this guy would stoop very low to get what he wants and that includes blackmailing you."

Luckily her back was to him, else he would have known it was true from the way she froze, her eyes staring ahead. He had guessed what she didn't want him to know. After everything, she had managed to keep that from him. She didn't want him to know anything more about her, as if her old profession wasn't enough. Rachel was already incredibly ashamed. Scoffing, she tried to smile, peeking over her shoulder at him.

"Blackmail? Eddie, that is so far from the truth. It is laughable."

He smirked, taking sudden interest in the carpet.

"Do you know how I can tell you're lying? Your lips are moving."

It was becoming a habit that he left before she could answer.

* * *

After the day had finished with the relief of the final bell, Eddie had volunteered to see the governors, checking on how their AGM had been. Nigel returned with him to the office. Hearing them enter the anti-chamber, she met them halfway. She smiled encouragingly at Nigel.

"Any news?" he asked.

During the day, they had found that their exemplary Mr Bingham was not as he seemed and there was a rush to find Janeece before any harm was done.

"No, Tom and Steph are over there now."

There was a moment of silence when nobody knew what to say. Nigel glanced down, deciding to congratulate her on how well the AGM had gone.

"Look, I know now is not the best time but the governors were really impressed with your plans." Hearing him say that, Rachel couldn't help but smile, proud to hear his praise. "You've made an incredible impact in a few months. Well done."

She was still smiling until she saw Eddie. He was visibly sulking. Even as angry as they were with each other, she knew he had to receive some credit.

"Well, they weren't just my plans, Nigel."

The governor nodded, glancing at Eddie. "Yes, Eddie. Well done to all the staff and pupils."

Eddie raised his eyebrows in response. Nigel turned to grab his bag which had been left on the chairs.

"That's what they say about your job," he smiled. Rachel was still staring at Eddie who refused to look anywhere but the floor. Nigel turned back round. "Flaming hard work but where else do you get the chance to change lives?"

Eddie finally took notice of her. She wished he hadn't. His fury was clear and her smile faltered.

"Well, I better be going," Nigel continued. "Waiting for the staff report, Eddie."

His response was a short nod. Rachel smiled forcefully, wanting the atmosphere to remain pleasant, especially with the governors there.

"Thank you, Nigel."

He left blissfully unaware of the tension. Taking a deep breath, Rachel sat down in Bridget's chair. She had let her secretary go home early, knowing that if Eddie returned, she didn't want her hearing their conversation. Even as she had her back to him, she could still feel his disappointment and upset. He sat opposite her, careful to sit far enough away but still on the edge of the desk.

"We have to sort this mess out one way or another," he remarked.

Her hands rested daintily on her knees, gripping the thin material of her skirt.

"Have you contacted Stuart?"

They both sounded considerably calm compared to their earlier conversations. She wanted it to stay that way.

"Not yet but if he is blackmailing you, I don't expect him to admit it."

She shook her head, her eyes lowering. If she was going to lie, she couldn't look at him as she did.

"He's not blackmailing me."

"No?" he glowered, "Well, like you say, what you did was twenty-odd years ago so what difference would it make if people found out?"

He suddenly reminded her of Stuart, something she thought would never happen. What he said terrified her. For a moment, she questioned whether Eddie was as good as believed him to be. She scolded herself for questioning him. Eddie was nothing like Stuart.

"Why? What are you…?" She sat forward, images of the whole school discovering her secret filled her mind. "What are you saying?"

"I'm going to the LEA."

It wasn't what she had expected but it was better than she had imagined. Even so, it was everything she had wanted to avoid. Her head dropped down, her eyes widening in fright. She met his hardened gaze with her own, wide and pleading.

"Don't do that," she whimpered, "I beg of you."

It sounded pathetic and it probably was. His head turned in another direction, his fingers gripping tightly onto the edge of the desk. Glaring down at her, she realised he was more disappointed than ever, if that was even possible.

"Now that is exactly what I didn't want to hear you say."

"Look." Her voice became unsteady. "He…" She exhaled shakily, her voice revealing how close she was to crying. "He told me that he was desperate and his company was going under. He heard about me and he…"

Eddie's head shot up, his eyes widening in realisation.

"He blackmailed you."

She couldn't keep on lying to him. It wasn't possible. There were a lot of people she could deceive but he was not one of them. That fact made her uncomfortable and she was unable to look at him, the edges of her mouth twitching.

"That's it then." His hands slapped against his thighs. "We go to the police."

She considered him for the first time that day, watching him as he stared down at her. He had always been so understanding. She couldn't comprehend why he didn't see it the way she did.

"If we got to the police, it gets out. If it gets out, I resign."

"Why? I thought it was all about the school, about the kids. Sounds like all you're worried about is your career."  
His conclusion hurt her more than she cared to admit. He couldn't have been further from the truth.

"Eddie, you know that's not true!" she shouted.

"'Course, without you, we'd all be lost," he scoffed.

She leant forward, more desperate by the second.

"We have got absolutely nothing on Stuart Hordley. Nothing! He denies it, it's his word against mine, end of story."

He looked away from her again. She could feel his resentment from where she was sitting. Rachel leant back in her chair, her spine straight against the wood. Regarding him, she realised why he was so angry with her.

"Can't handle it, can you?" He didn't even glance her way as she spoke. "I had sex with men for money twenty years ago because I had nothing else. You can't see past that."

He stood up immediately, incapable of saying anything else to her. She watched him as he disappeared down the corridor, closing her eyes as her chest ached dully.

* * *

It was dark outside when Steph phoned Rachel. She informed her of what had happened and how Janeece was. Eddie appeared halfway through the conversation, listening with interest.

"Thank you, Steph. You have done a brilliant job and thank Tom. Yeah, I will see you tomorrow. Bye."

She placed the phone back in its holder. Eddie was leaning against the doorframe, his arms folded.

"Janeece okay?" he asked softly.

Nodding, she smiled in relief. "Yeah, she's fine. She doesn't want to come back but… "

The corners of her mouth downturned as she considered what had happened.

"She'll bounce back," he assured her, "knowing Janeece."

"I hope so."

There was a terrible silence as neither knew what to say. He was staring once again at the carpet. Rachel wanted nothing more than for him to forgive her.

"There must be something we can do about our differences over- over what I did."

His eyes met hers, back to how they used to be, caring and warm, but there was an underlying sadness.

"There is."

She was relieved, her chest heaving as she became excited at the prospect of them being friends again. She couldn't stop herself from smiling up hopefully at him.

"I know there is a massive divide between us, Eddie, at the moment but stick with it, yeah?"

He walked towards her, pulling out an envelope from inside his blazer. She moaned, knowing what it was. She looked away, unable to accept what was happening. After everything, she had hoped he would stay.

"I'll work my three months," he bargained.

"We are on to something really big here," she protested.

"We can't work through this, Rachel. I have to go round it."

She couldn't help the way she stared pleadingly at him. The last thing she wanted was for him to leave. They were still a dynamic team in their profession. It had taken them a long time to build that bridge and it had burnt quicker than it had started.

"Don't resign, please," she begged.

"I've made my mind up."

He placed the envelope carefully on the desk, pushing it towards her. She refused to even look at it, blinking back any tears that would fall if she considered her job without him.

"I'm sorry," he sighed.

He left with a long, lingering look, almost as sad as she was that he had resorted to resigning. She could feel her bottom lip tremble, biting hard to stop herself from crying. It wasn't until he had gone that she let out a sob that wracked through her body, shaking her more than she thought possible.

* * *

 _12_ _th_ _March 2008_

 _Dear Eddie,_

 _Out of all the people who have discovered my secret, them being very few, I believe I am the most broken by your discovery. Melissa knows. Tess knows. And Stuart knows. Now, of all the people who could ever discover my past life, you were the last person I wanted to know. It was shameful enough when my little sister found out. She was thoroughly ashamed and I never want to see her look at me that way again. When I helped the police, I debated whether I should tell her, but when I had to take on a secret identity, I knew I had to. There was no other choice. She was still a child. That was one of the worst days of my life. I never thought anything could be as painful as that._

 _Then you found out. The way you looked at me in disgust and disappointment. I thought I could handle the pressure and continue as I always had but I was so wrong. It broke me. It broke me that you found out, that you hate me for it._

 _I could tell something had been bothering you this past week. It's funny after everything that has happened, we have that connection. Some people I've known for so long and I have never and will never have that connection. You always confide in me and I thought you would again. Now I realise you could never have done so because I was the problem. Do you realise how painful that was? The way you looked as you told me you knew. I honestly believed my chest was being ripped in two because that's how it felt. It may not have seemed it to you but I was in agony. How can I live with that shame? How can I live with the knowledge that you will no longer be there because of me?_

 _I tried to tell myself that it didn't matter. I do not need your consent and blessing to forgive myself for the past. But I do. I really do. I need you to understand. When you said my name, it was the ugliest thing I've ever heard, hearing you say my birth name, breaking the barrier between now and then. I never thought I would hear you say that name. I don't ever want to hear you say it again. Hearing it from Stuart, I can deal with that. He plays dirty and that name made me feel as such. You don't._

 _Yes, Eddie. Now you know. From all the times I have avoided admitting it in all of my letters, I was a prostitute. All those times I've mentioned I was not of the upbringing you suspected but quite the opposite. I couldn't have been any lower in the world._

 _When I visited you in your classroom, I wanted you to understand why I did what I did. In my other letters, I mentioned that my family had lived in poverty. When my mother left, I took a job in a nearby café, hoping to manage the money that my father failed to give. At the time I was at college. My teachers had told me I could have a bright future so I tried to keep that impression. Melissa needed supporting, even in something as simple as food and clothes. I bet you didn't think about those things when you were younger. Your parents bought everything for you, supporting you in every way as parents should. I didn't have that and neither did Melissa. She grew so quickly, she needed new clothes all the time. That was when Melissa started to have a lot of problems with her behaviour. I think the fact that our mother left us and our father paid us no attention, Melissa couldn't handle that. We hardly saw each other either. I was up early in the morning, went straight to college, and worked till late at night. Melissa could never seem to get over that. And she still hasn't._

 _When my father died, we were left with no guardians. We moved to a small flat nearby, one of the only places I could afford. Having to pay the rent, I stopped attending college to have another job. My new job was waitressing at a dingy restaurant. I met a girl there, Tanya. She had two jobs also but her second was where I met Richard. Tanya told me frequently that she made a ridiculous amount of money in a week. She never told me how and didn't tell me what the job was to begin with, despite my begging. If only I'd known. Finally, she gave in and introduced me to Richard._

 _He was ridiculously handsome and I still think so, although it is a shame he wasn't as ugly as his personality. Perhaps then I would have known to stay away from him. At first he was kind and gentle. Nothing like you were when we first met. I'd never really had male attention before. There was one boy once who I was good friends with, although I never saw him in a romantic way. I often wonder how Adam is now. Anyhow, I was incredibly flattered by his affection and fell for him harder than I should have. Being so young and influential, I offered myself to him before I had even thought about it. He told me I was beautiful, intelligent, and important. He told me I was good._

 _You see, it turned out that there were a lot of girls that were those things to him. I did not see that until later. After a month or so, he told me that he could help me with a new job, one just like Tanya's. He convinced me that I deserved a better life and he could help me there. One night a friend of his came round. At least, he told me he was a friend. I can't remember his name nor do I care to. His friend disappeared and Richard told me he was in the bedroom. 'Be a good girl, Amanda. Do this for me. We need the money. He'll be gentle. Just like me.' He wasn't gentle and I didn't feel good. I knew it was wrong but I wanted Richard to be happy with me. I wanted him to love me. Somehow, I thought we'd always be together._

 _After it had happened, I lay there, feeling dirtier than I ever had in my life. I felt pathetic. Richard came in, waving the money in front of my face as if it would lift my mood. It made me feel worse. Bursting into tears, I ran into the bathroom, locking myself inside. I had to go home. I had to see Melissa. I didn't do such a thing. I lay there with the taps running in the bath, letting the hot water wash over me. Since then, I have never felt clean._

 _This continued but I saw Richard less. He didn't have time for me anymore, he told me. He was busy. I was sent to a house where plenty of other good girls were. That was where I met Tess. She was a vivacious thing and I can tell she still is. It never bothered her what she was, not as it did me. This was the same time I found out about my unexpected pregnancy. It could have been anyone, couldn't it? I tried to keep it secret, scared of what Richard would do. Then I realised that he was meant to be my boyfriend, he should know what to do. He would support me. How foolish I was to think so. There were a lot of things he called me, most which I could never repeat. Not on paper or speech. He beat me. He beat me until it hurt to breath, till I could barely keep myself upwards. I'd never felt so stupid and pathetic in my life. I'd done this to myself._

 _After a while, I started to feel agonising pain in my lower abdomen and when I reached down, there was blood all over my fingers. I managed to drag myself to the bathroom where I tried to clear away the mess. It was strange really. In school I'd seen those diagrams that show the development of a baby but seeing, well, whatever it was, it wasn't a baby. It hadn't even developed properly. There were no definite fingers or toes or anything like that. It was a small lump. I tried to hurriedly get rid of it by flushing it down the toilet but Tanya found me, having heard of my idea to see Richard. She was the one that convinced me to bury it. I couldn't even tell if it was a boy or girl. I couldn't even have the satisfaction of naming the child._

 _A few weeks later, I was trying to entertain another customer when the police barged in, surrounding the place. As you may have read on the newspaper article, it was a vice city crackdown. There had been numerous leads into the establishment and they had enough evidence to put everyone away for a very long time. That was when I met Frances. She was at the police station when I was dragged in, sobbing because I had to get home for Melissa. I needed to look after her. How was I supposed to do that inside of prison? When the police interviewed me, Frances made it quite clear what my options were. So, I had to make the decision. It wasn't hard really. By giving them all the information I knew and allowing them to arrest Richard, I was given a new name and relocated across the city of Manchester. Melissa came with me but as soon as she was old enough, she disappeared and I didn't hear from her until I discovered she was married with a child._

 _So, you see. That is really what happened. What you don't seem to understand is that it really was a long time ago. To me, Amanda Fenshaw and Rachel Mason are two completely different people. They are separate to me. The way I was before isn't the same as I am now. Do you know the first time I came into teaching was the first time I ever felt self-worth, the first time I ever felt that my existence was acknowledged and appreciated? I stepped into the classroom and they paid attention to me. The students actually listened to what I said. You must have been appreciated from the moment you were born, I'm positive. Unlike you, I never was. It was the first time I had been respected in any capacity, personal or professional. With Melissa gone, I had no more responsibility to anyone else but myself. I worked as hard as I could, physically and mentally. I pushed myself to the limit in hope that I would never sink that low again. It was convincing to some degree. A lot of people believed me to be as you did, another middle class woman who was privileged enough to receive an upstanding education._

 _Is that enough for you, Eddie? Is that what you wanted to hear? Can you possibly bring yourself to forgive me now? I know what I did. I know why you are disappointed in me. I can see it in your eyes so clearly. You thought I was this perfect woman, a dedicated, hard-working woman who could never do any wrong, apart from be an occasional snob. Well, it turns out I can do far worse and you found out the hard way. Part of me wants your forgiveness. I'm desperate for us to return to how we were, but that is a naïve way of thinking. Another part of me allows me to realise that I don't need your forgiveness. Why should I depend on you? But I really do._

 _I read my last letter to you when I came home. We were so close. We were such good friends. I honestly believed I could be happy at Waterloo Road. Happy being the headmistress and happy being with you. Everything seemed to fit together so perfectly for the first time and it was ruined before I'd even had chance to settle properly. Do you hate me? I can't count how many times today I thought you did, the way you looked at me. And what would I have to do for you to forgive me? Do I have to beg on my hands and knees? Tear myself apart for you to be satisfied that I am guilty enough? You're worried for the school and I can understand why, but are you worried for me? I know it bothers you. Is it your concern for how the school will be perceived or is it because you are disappointed in me? Could it possibly be both?_

 _I really want you to answer these. I could never ask you in reality. I'm too ashamed. I don't think you would answer them completely honest either. You seemed rather hesitant today in answering my questions, mostly not answering them at all. Today was a complete mess. You didn't believe what I said. We didn't listen to each other and we definitely did not meet halfway at all. I can't stand seeing you so angry with me but I don't know what I have to do for us to return to normal. But we won't return to normal. You're leaving._

 _Of all the words I associated with you, resignation was not one of them. I didn't think for one second, not even as we argued with each other, that you would consider leaving. I didn't know that I had disturbed you that greatly. What embarrasses me more is that I sat and cried for almost an hour after you had left. Maybe I would have been okay if you hadn't handed in your resignation. Maybe I wouldn't have been so desperate. I don't know what to do anymore, Eddie. I want you to tell me. I want you to stay. Please._

 _Rachel xxx_


	13. Chapter 13

It's been a long time but I've been ridiculously busy. I just haven't had time to put the detail in, so here's another one. I hope you like it.

Please let me know if it's worth continuing. Thank you all x

* * *

Rachel and Eddie's relationship was slowly getting back on track. At least, by that, she counted it as him being able to look at her and speak to her through more than one syllable. She was standing by the front doors when he climbed out of his car. It embarrassed her somewhat that she did anything to catch an undisturbed glimpse of him whenever she could. Every time she was with him recently, she wasn't able to meet his eye. He was speaking to Paul, flicking through a book of his. She leant forward a little to try and watch them more closely. Paul left and Eddie stopped at the bottom of the front steps. He turned round, checking his watch.

"Alright, you lot," he called, "Five minutes to registration. Get a move on."

She smiled at a student as they went past before her attention went back to Eddie. She moved to meet him but he spun around, walking straight past her. Stopping short, Rachel was unsure what to do for a moment before sullenly returning to her office.

The first thing she did was get herself a cup of coffee, knowing she needed it. She hadn't been getting much sleep recently. It wasn't until she was stirring in her sugar that the door to the anti-chamber door opened and Eddie strode in. She was a little disappointed, thinking it was Bridget. God knows she needed a good chat with someone.

"Have you told anybody I'm leaving?" he questioned.

He was about a metre away from her. Noticing, she was annoyed that he had been trying to keep his distance.

"No, not yet. I was going to put it in the final newsletter to parents." She smiled up at him but he remained serious. Her smile dropped. Entering her office, she was trying to plan a way to convince him to stay. "I'm trying to write out the new deputy head job spec. It's given me a chance to really think about the role." She sat herself at the round table, reaching for her draft. "I want to expand the senior management next year."

He nodded his head thoughtfully, his hands sinking slowly into his pockets.

"So, they're not parachuting anyone in then?" he asked quietly.

She knew he was finding it difficult to adjust to his decision. He had been wavering carefully between resigning and admitting he wanted to stay.

"No, no. Just a straightforward replacement. With the new staff restructuring next year, and in some ways you going now, makes it a relatively easy transition."

Smiling up at him, she was waiting for some kind of reaction. He only stared at her blankly. While she reached for her coffee and he thought she wasn't looking, he rolled his eyes.

"Well, fingers crossed we'll get a good field of candidates," she mused cheerfully.

She smiled sweetly at him as she sipped her coffee. She tried not to wince at the bitterness of it. Maybe she should have added more sugar.

"Any internal candidates you think?" Eddie was looking around the office, taking interest in the decoration of the walls.

"No." She put her coffee down. Thinking about what to say, her eyes narrowed as her gaze ran across the ceiling. "I want new blood, fresh ideas."

The phone started to ring, interrupting the slow conversation. She got up to answer it.

"Someone with real enthusiasm and passion," she continued.

He huffed lightly as she passed him.

"Hello?" She held the phone to her ear.

She could hear the receptionist explaining that there was a problem with the new build work. Eddie spoke over her, confusing the two conversations.

"Tom Clarkson's done a good job with pastoral…"

She held up her hand and his voice faltered as she pressed the phone to her ear.

"Okay, erm, we'll send someone down in a minute." She put the phone back down, sighing heavily. "Oh, great." She turned back to Eddie. "Looks like we've run into our first little snag with the building work. Apparently we have a little protest on our hands."

He rolled his eyes again, a very common gesture from him over the past week.

"Sounds like one for you, Eddie," she prompted.

He blinked in surprise. "Just for a change," he muttered darkly.

* * *

"We need to nip this in the bud," cried Eddie.

Mika and Brett had decided to start a protest against Hordley's new building, something to do with saving the trees. They hadn't moved from the spot where digging was meant to commence and the builders were unable to continue.

She headed for her desk, standing in front of her leather chair.

"No, no, no, no," she frowned, "I need to. Aren't you supposed to be teaching? Me and Tom can deal with this."

Rachel expected him to be annoyed and he didn't disappoint.

"No, I'm not teaching at the moment," he insisted, his brow furrowing.

Tom looked between the two, evidently trying to figure why Eddie wasn't being involved. Rachel leant over the desk.

"You're meant to be finding yourself another job," she told him, "Not worrying about this place."

He bit his lip hard as he considered her reasoning.

"Right." He went to leave but changed his mind halfway, pointing wildly at the phone. "But I bet you in five minutes, Hordley will be on that phone wondering why his one hundred and twenty quid workers are sitting round on their backsides drinking tea and playing rummy!"

He glared angrily at the both of them before slamming the door shut behind him. Rachel felt her mouth twitch as she tried to stop herself from laughing, smirking down at the desk. Tom turned back round with a frown.

"Eddie's leaving?" he asked.

"Yeah, he, erm, resigned last week."

Tom carried on glancing around the room, confused. Knowing they didn't have much time, she needed to get Mika and Brett back into the classroom and on track.

"Right, well, I think we should let them stew for a bit before we speak to them. With a bit of luck, they might get bored and call it a day." She chuckled nervously. "Oh, and we also need to make sure that no more kids get involved and then it's over to you, Tom."

He finally managed to pay attention to what she was saying. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you know," she shrugged, "with your good parenting skills, you should be able to talk Mika around. Get things back to normal."

He nodded, although he still didn't seem to be paying attention properly. Rachel wondered what the matter was. This was no time to ponder on private matters.

"Right, yeah," he nodded.

She sat back in her chair as he disappeared from her office.

* * *

Rachel had been called by Tom and Jasmine when a large group of students had rushed to go see the protest. They had been trying to get in through the gates covering the new building site. That was exactly what she didn't want.

"Inside now," Tom yelled.

"Come on, kids," she added.

They all collectively groaned as the three teachers stopped between the gate opening so nobody could see or get past.

"The playing fields are out of bounds," she informed them, holding her arms out, "Nobody is allowed beyond this point."

The students looked between each other, daring one to defy the headmistress.

"Is that because of the tree protest, miss?" Janeece inquired.

Rachel paused for a moment, surprised Janeece had asked so politely. She had been incredibly quiet since the incident with Bingham.

"No," answered Tom, "Because we don't want you endangering yourselves."

"Or do you just not want us to hear what they've got to say?" tested Chlo, glaring at Tom.

All the other students chorused their 'yeah'. Rachel frowned, knowing that whatever personal problems Tom and Chlo had needed to be kept away from easily influenced students.

"We've got nothing against free speech, Chlo," she responded, "That's why you've got the school council."

"And I don't know about you but I'm getting a little bit sick of Mika's free speech right now," Tom snapped.

Rachel's eyes widened as she considered the two, smiling slightly. Teenagers were always testing. Brushing her hair out of her eyes, she and Tom simultaneously peered over at the small protest.

"Why don't we just drag them in kicking and screaming?" he sighed.

"Oh, Tom, you've got a lot to learn about teenage girls if you think laying down the law is going to make them do what you want them to do. Never worked with me and it won't work with Mika."

She turned back to the students, almost forgetting they were gathered around.

"Come on, kids," she ordered, "Go back inside. That is enough."

They started to trundle away, muttering between themselves.

"Come on." She clapped her hands to rid of any students that lingered in hope of joining the protest. "Move on."

Once they had gone, Tom followed her back into the school. Rachel finally realised the predicament she was in. Eddie was right. Stuart would be phoning shortly to demand why his builders were wasting his money just because she couldn't reign in two of her students. They had been stood by the window for ten minutes, hoping they would eventually come back inside. She didn't have the patience to wait for them anymore.

"Getting them in was the easy part," noted Tom, "But how are we going to stop the protest?"

"I'm not," she glowered, "You are. Your powers of persuasion coupled with the threat of forty-five days exclusion should bring them to their senses."

Tom didn't seem to understand why she was being so harsh.

"What happened to not laying down the law?" He blinked rapidly.

Rachel didn't need to explain herself. She didn't want to see Stuart again and there had to be no excuse for him visiting her. Mika and Brett had to come back in. Also, they were technically truant and the protest was creating a great distraction throughout other students.

"Tom, my role as head and your role as a dad upholds a part. Mika and Brett are disrupting the whole school and they're pulling other kids into it."

The larger the protest got, the more trouble she would be in. He seemed to agree with her to some degree, nodding furiously.

"I'll deal with it," he affirmed, moving past her.

She glanced over her shoulder. "Tom." He turned around. "I want those builders digging holes in the next twenty minutes."

Tom carried on down the corridor, nodding slightly as he went. She had other things to worry about but the possible consequences of the protest was starting to trouble her.

* * *

Her plan to exclude Eddie from all decisions was going well thus far but she knew she had to rub it in a little more. There had still been no mention from him that he might stay, despite her best efforts. He was currently teaching a year ten class who had the exact person she was looking for. Rachel had waited for Paul to be in his class, making a show of how she had made the decision on her own with no input from her deputy.

Halting at the door, she watched as he animatedly spoke to the students, wandering between the tables. She entered the class as he was talking to Bolton.

"…Equals ten percent. Late night was it, Bolton?"

"No, sir," he muttered.

Rachel had to admit that he did look tired, although it was probably due to him staying up late. Eddie had noticed her, stepping over to find out why she was there.

"I've just come to have that little chat with Paul," she explained in a whisper.

He was evidently disconcerted at not being consulted on the matter. Glancing quickly over at Paul, his voice rose slightly in agitation.

"I thought we were leaving that till the head of department meeting?"

"It's an executive decision so hm…"

She wasn't going to explain herself any further and she could see the irritation building in him. Seeing her smile caused him to humph self-righteously.

"Huh." He turned around with a sigh. "Paul, can we have a word, please, mate?"

The whole class 'oohed' as he looked around the class in confusion. He obviously thought he was in trouble.

"Calm down, everyone," snapped Eddie.

Rachel turned to leave the classroom as Paul weaved through the tables. She didn't ask Eddie to join her. She knew he would anyway. He patted Paul on the back as he walked past.

"Nothing to worry about, mate," he assured him. He then turned back to the rest of the class. "VAT on forty-three quid. No calculators. I'll be back in a minute… Bolton!"

Sitting on the ledge outside, she leant against the window. Paul sat opposite her, weary of what she might say.

"I'm sorry I interrupted your lesson," she apologised.

Paul shrugged. "It doesn't matter, miss. It means I get to skive work."

Grinning, she decided to keep it short now Eddie had joined them.

"So, what would you say to re-joining the main school curriculum?"

"What?" cried Paul, "Back in normal class?"

Eddie closed the classroom door. Ignoring his presence, she pressed on.

"Well, you know, based on the strong progress you've made this term, we think you're ready."

He looked quickly between her and Eddie in amazement. Eddie nodded confidently, trying to edge his way into the conversation.

"So I get to sit my GCSEs?" Paul asked.

"GCSEs and everything that comes with them," he answered.

Paul started to nod, laughing quietly. "Yeah."

She laughed slightly too. "Okay then, you can return to your lesson now."

Eddie went to follow but Rachel called him back. She wanted to twist the knife just one more time. He was suddenly more serious now it was only the two of them.

"You have done a really good job with that class. Look, I know it's a lot to ask but, erm…" He smiled encouragingly at her. It did encourage her somewhat. It was the first time he had done so in a week. "When the new deputy head arrives, would you talk them through what you've done here? You know, your scheme of work, your lesson plans…" He avoided her eye, his smile dropping. "That sort of thing. It's just that I hate to see your hard work go to waste."

Or he could just stay. It would have been her preferred option.

"Yeah, sure," he muttered.

"Great," she beamed.

He went back into his classroom as Tom rushed down the corridor. Bolton must have been asleep again.

"Wake up, Bolton!" was heard from Eddie as he stormed back through the door.

Jumping slightly, she glared through the window at him. He ignored her, scribbling on the whiteboard.

* * *

"They won't come," explained Tom when he was close, "I don't know what they're playing at."

She threw her hands up in the air, sighing in irritation. This was the last thing she needed. She had honestly believed that Mika would have listened to Tom and be back in lessons soon after. That plan had failed. Rachel rushed down the corridor, thinking furiously about how to get them back into school.

Eventually her only idea was to use the school council. You could have all the freedom of speech you wanted there and usually something was done and arranged by the teachers during that time. But after talking to Mika and Brett, it was obvious that it was too below them. Tom returned again, informing her that there were now men at the protest, a group that Mika had met online.

She closed the cooler door behind her, positively fuming at the news there were strangers on site. Steph and Tom were waiting for her outside, waiting for her to tell them what to do.

"Now, that's it!" she cried, "I'm calling the police."

Steph glanced down nervously, folding her arms.

"That's what this Leon character wants," Tom argued, "Publicity. His face in the newspaper. I-it's nothing. It's just him and his two mates."

She couldn't allow even that. The matter needed to be resolved and she was anxious of the amount of time it had taken just to convince them to come back in.

"Tom, they're on school premises. The police will shift them in minutes."

"Yeah, well, they won't," he remarked, "They've put up a barbed wire barricade and they're going to climb the tree."

She turned to Steph in surprise, who returned the gesture. This had gone too far already. Her head turned from side to side in disbelief. Tom tried to ease her worries.

"Look, erm, I- I'm pretty sure that Brett wants to give it up. If we let him work on Mika then they'll move on."

She hoped he was right because she was slowly getting exasperated with the two of them.

"Then I'll give it to the end of lunchtime," she told him.

Tom nodded in response, hurrying back down the corridor to tell Mika the news. Steph and Rachel exchanged another weary glance before they went back into the cooler. She closed the door behind her, taking note of the school council. Danielle and Aleesha were there, having being made the spokespeople for the protestors. Sitting at the head of the table, she pulled the list of concerns towards her. Steph sat to her right, leaning slightly across to look for herself.

"So, is this everything?" questioned Rachel.

"Yeah," nodded Danielle.

She started to read off the list, annoyed at her time being wasted.

"Light bulbs, paper cups for the coolers, energy efficient heating, uniform… Uniforms?"

Her voice rose in annoyance, her head flicking up to stare accusingly at Danielle and Aleesha.

"We want ethically made uniforms," explained Aleesha.

They had to be kidding. How could she take all of these concerns seriously? As much as she appreciated they had a set of values, they couldn't expect to live in a completely green world. She was still staring at them in astonishment, mouth wide open. Daniella must have realised that the headmistress wasn't buying into their idea, scrambling to explain herself.

"Mika says that the kids that make our uniforms in third world sweatshops don't get to go to school…"

"Is this a wind up?" interrupted Steph.

Rachel was glad for once that Steph was on her side. Clearly she could be serious when she needed to be. The two girls were looking between them, unsure of why they were in the wrong. Daniella shook her head slowly.

"So this is a Fairtrade, eco protest?" Rachel laughed in frustration, still staring at them.

Steph dropped her head in her hands. They were interrupted by a knock on the door. Glancing over her shoulder, she saw Brett enter. Rachel wondered if that meant they had taken her option, deciding to use the council instead.

"Ah, Mr Aspinall," she remarked, "Down from the trees, I see."

"Yes, miss." He paused for a second. "Temporarily. I'm afraid that list of demands is now superfluous."

He pulled out a folded piece of paper from his coat pocket, shuffling nervously towards her. He handed her the list, recoiling his hand as she snatched it from him. As Rachel read further and further down the list, she couldn't help but frown in disapproval. This was getting way out of hand.

* * *

Tom was called back up and Rachel left the council once again to get advice from fellow teachers. Rachel held the paper up, hoping Steph had something wise to say that could magically solve everything.

"Well, it's your call," Steph answered slowly.

Tom was seen turning round the corner, rushing towards them.

"And it's a lot of money," noted Rachel.

She brushed her fringe aside to look back down at the list. The original demands had been bad enough without adding to it. Brett was right. It was superfluous. He must have realised how much trouble he was in, running back to the tree before she could say anything to him.

"How much is the delay costing?" Steph asked.

Sighing, Rachel didn't even want to think about how angry Stuart would be. "I don't know but it's probably more than this." Tom stopped beside her so she handed him the list to read. She was surprised he hadn't been able to talk sense into them. "A conservation garden, the cheeky devils…"

He read the whole list, his breathy short and heavy.

"Now we've got those eco-warriors winding them up," sniffed Steph. She was silent for a moment, studying Rachel curiously. "Look, you know when you were a kid and you started to go out on dates, the only thing the boys were interested in was getting to fourth base as quickly as possible, yeah?"

Rachel didn't particularly want to have that conversation but she guessed Steph had a point to it.

"I hate to see where this is leading but yeah?"

Steph was glad that she hadn't been reprimanded for once, sliding a little closer.

"So to give them something to remember the night by and to keep them interested, you let them get to first base."

Rachel glanced up at the ceiling when she realised what Steph was hinting at, thinking carefully about it.

"Okay," she mused, "So hopefully they forget about fourth."

"Exactly," grinned Steph, pleased with herself. "Give them a bit of top. Get to keep your knickers on."

Rachel was still thinking about it, guessing it was their best bet so far.

"Or so I'm told," Steph added quickly.

Rachel didn't care what she did with other men, she wasn't one to judge. Instead she glanced at Tom, smiling widely.

"Shall we give it a go?"

She was suddenly more confident now they had another plan. Tom seemed confused by the exchange, shrugging as he struggled to understand what they had said. His eyes widened as he followed Steph into the cooler, muttering something about women. Rachel was about to follow them when Eddie stormed down the corridor.

"I need a word," he called.

Steph turned round but Rachel knew she couldn't stay. Eddie looked furious.

"Two minutes, yeah?"

Closing the door quickly, she cut them off before they could respond. Not only were two members of staff there, the student council were also in that room. None of them needed to hear Eddie in a strop.

"What's going on?" he demanded, glancing at the cooler door. "I'm still the deputy. I've got a contract. You're handing out all my responsibilities."

So her plan to exclude him had been working. He was obviously furious that he wasn't helping anymore.

"When you signed that piece of paper, you wash your hands of this place," she replied calmly, "I have to think about the future."

"Steph Haydock?!" he shouted, growing angrier by the second.

"Steph has worked here for fifteen years," she argued, "Her loyalty isn't in question."

She knew that would upset him and it seemed she was right. He stepped back, grunting loudly in displeasure as he realised how much she was trying to keep him from being involved. Eddie tried to say something but changed his mind, his jaw jutting as it often did when he was mad. Without another word, he strode back down the corridor, slamming the nearest door behind him. She stared at the door, slightly worried at how livid she had made him.

* * *

Rachel had decided to give the conservation garden a chance, as long as Mika and Brett agreed to come down. Tom was yet to discuss it with them. Glad they had come to some final decision, she headed back to her office. She stopped short when she saw Eddie sitting in the anti-chamber. Bridget was not there, she might have been on a break. Either way, Rachel wished she was back.

He glanced up for a moment, his gaze darkening before he went back to flicking through paperwork. No matter how angry he was, she realised he was still there in his free period to work with her. Slightly smug, Rachel started to sort through some of her own neglected paperwork. They didn't say anything and Rachel wasn't about to force conversation between them.

She was flicking through folders in her filing cabinet when she heard the sound of shattering glass and a scream. Panicking, she glanced at Eddie, both still at the sudden commotion. Then they heard another glass being shattered and they both reacted immediately, running to the door. He let her through first.

"What do you think it was?" she asked, panicking.

"I don't know. It was probably a window."

They ran past Grantly's room to find him staring out of a broken glass pane.

"This is absolutely ludicrous," he cried, noticing them at the door, "Those imbeciles threw a brick through my window, and not to mention ruining my non-contact time. They got Stephanie as well."

Now it had definitely gone too far. Two members of staff could have been seriously hurt. Turning to Eddie, she instructed him to find Tom. Grantly hadn't finished with his dramatics yet.

"I hope you're planning to…"

"Yes, Grantly!" she cried, "I'll be calling the police. Just go and find Steph, please, and make sure she is okay."

He left, muttering to himself. Tom appeared a couple of minutes later with Eddie in tow. She had been watching the protestors through the classroom window, seeing if they had moved since throwing bricks. They'd stayed up in the tree. Turning from the sight, she knew something had to be done.

"Someone could have been killed," she told him.

"Eh, c-come on," frowned Tom, although he looked incredibly nervous, "I-it's just a couple of panes of glass. Nobody got hurt."

"It's got a little bit too far now, Tom."

Tom couldn't accept that Mika had done it. It wasn't like her to take a violent approach to anything, even Rachel knew that.

"Look, it's just a few militant nutters," he exclaimed, "It's not our Mika."

She couldn't have cared less who did it or whose idea it was. The safety of her staff and pupils were at risk. It had gone further than it needed to be.

"Well, it's time to let them know. They either come down now or I'm excluding them."

Tom knew it was his last chance, leaving to go reason with them. One glance from Eddie and she knew he was going too. They nodded slightly at each other before he followed Tom outside.

* * *

Sitting down in her office, she was glad for a moment of peace before her office phone starting to ring. Groaning, she picked it up.

"What's this I've heard about my building being put on hold?"

Stuart's voice was the last thing she needed to hear, even while it seemed inevitable that he would phone her.

"Er, Stuart," she frowned, "this has got absolutely nothing to do with Waterloo Road."

"I take it you've called the police."

"Well, no, not yet but I'm about to. So far we've been able to contain it ourselves."

"I've lost five grand before a hole's even been dug."

"Well, I'm afraid any compensation claims need to go to the LEA." There was nothing but silence from the other end of the phone. Rachel suddenly realised why, hoping to have something against him. "What? You don't want them prying into your affairs?"

"Just get it sorted, alright?"

It was the angriest she had heard him but before she could speak, the line disconnected. Glad he had kept it brief, she started to dial emergency services.

"Yes, police, please. Hello, I would like to report an incident of vandalism and trespass…"

* * *

The phone rang again five minutes later. Eddie's voice rang through, evidently alarmed at something that had happened. All she registered was: "up tree", "ladder", "Tom", "fell", "called ambulance".

That was all she needed to hear before she had sped down to the protest. She couldn't believe how fast it had escalated. The last thing she had wanted was for the police and the ambulance to be at Waterloo Road. Her mind was racing as she thought about Tom and the potential damage that may have happened to him. Even as he had hurt himself, Eddie wasn't beside himself with worry so it can't have been that bad. It was partly her fault for pressuring Tom to sort Mika out, as well as not sorting it out herself.

She emerged outside as the ambulance and police car turned into the gates. Eddie was crouching next to Tom, who happened to be conscious.

"Is he okay?" she shouted. When there wasn't an answer after a second, her voice rose higher. "Is he okay?"

"He's fine," snapped Eddie, keeping his eye on Tom. "I called the ambulance but I think he's alright."

"I'm fine," muttered Tom.

He was blinking heavily in the sunlight. Rachel sighed in relief, knowing it was still better to be safe than sorry. At least Mika had finally come down from the tree, crying loudly and bending over Tom.

"I'm really sorry," she sobbed.

Rachel knew that Mika needed to leave and calm down. She was fretting too much; it wasn't something for her to see. Davina seemed to have good timing, appearing to see what the commotion was about.

"Davina," she called, "Do you mind?"

She gestured towards Mika. Nodding, Davina pulled her away lightly, taking her back into the school. Rachel could still feel her heart beating fast at the thought of Tom being seriously hurt. He glanced up at her, still lying on the floor.

"I'm fine," he repeated.

Before she could reply, the paramedics ushered her and Eddie away so they could check Tom. There was nothing wrong. They still treated him for shock, ordering him to sit in the back of the ambulance with a blanket. Rachel paced slightly, her fingers wringing together. She was still incredibly anxious about the day's events. Eddie noticed, stepping closer to her.

"He's okay, Rachel." He reached across, his fingers grazing her arm. "Nothing bad happened to him."

"Someone could have been seriously hurt," she fretted, "Tom, the kids, the staff. Today could have been a disaster. It was a disaster."

Eddie glanced over at Tom. "But he's fine. Rachel, look at him. Everyone is fine and they came down. Now, that's all that matters."

She met his strong gaze, gaining comfort from his mere presence. Rachel never understood how he did that. Breathing in, she closed her eyes and nodded, going over to Tom. He seemed fine. He had been offered a cup of coffee, sipping it as she joined him. At the same time, Davina tried to bring Mika round to see him.

"Davina, not now, please," she muttered.

Davina nodded, leading the crying girl away again. Not having noticed their presence, Tom pulled the blanket tighter around him. Rachel bent down to speak to him.

"I would have preferred a negotiated settlement," she joked, "But I suppose a swan dive from a twenty foot tree is enough to get them down."

She rubbed his back, giggling to herself. He managed a smile, sipping his coffee again, thoughtfully.

"I'll remember that next time, shall I?"

* * *

Once Mika had been allowed to see Tom, Rachel asked Brett to join her in her office. Hearing the door click shut, she spun around to face him, her anger catching up with her.

"What is it with you, Brett?" she demanded, "You're an extremely clever young man."

He sighed heavily in response. "Here we go. Forget about what's going on in the world and come straighten your exams."

That wasn't what she had wanted to hear, grinding her teeth as she started towards her desk. She was more offended by Brett than she was with Mika.

"Come on," she exhaled, "You're a dabbler, a dilettante." She sat elegantly in her chair. "This is all some intellectual test for you."

"Look, you can question my commitment all you like…"

"For God's sake," she yelled, "You climbed up a tree and you wouldn't come down." She shook her head, furious, leaning across her desk. "You know what? I'd have more respect for you if you actually cared about what you fight for. You know, with Mika at least she's got passion, she's got substance but you…"

She couldn't even finish her sentence, extremely disappointed in him. There were no words for that. He seemed to realise, gulping visibly and his eyes shining.

"I'm guessing Mr Clarkson's injuries put pay to the conservation garden," he muttered.

She frowned up at him, her voice low and steady. "Why? I gave you my word. Some of us have got principles, Brett."

He stared at the carpet, ashamed of himself. Rachel had said all she needed to say.

"You can go."

Eddie entered minutes later, informing her about Tom and his state. He hadn't been harmed, that was all that mattered. Eddie dropped into a chair at the round table, having nothing more to say. Rachel knew she needed him to stay and the sooner she convinced him, the better. She got out the whiskey bottle. They were going to need it. He was staring out the window when she turned round, listening to the sounds of the students as they left for the day. It was extremely obvious how much he would miss being there.

"You know it's going to be hard to leave this place behind," she said.

He didn't reply, his eyes swivelling to meet hers but he was still silent. She smirked, placing a glass in front of him.

"I've got a list of deputy head vacancies," she continued, "Couple of head teacher jobs." She poured him a drink, a double. "Give you a good reference." He had moved his gaze to the floor but she still tried to smile at him. Sitting opposite, she poured herself a drink. "There are some good schools out there."

"Not many as challenging as Waterloo Road," he stated.

He raised his eyebrows, meeting her curious gaze. He raised his glass before downing half of it. Not once did she stop looking at him.

"Seconds thoughts?" she challenged.

"I'm not stupid, Rachel. All day you've been showing me what you think I'd miss about this place."

She couldn't help but smile, glancing down at her whisky.

"You're winding me up," he complained.

"So stay."

She had said it quieter than intended but he still heard, his glass stopping halfway to his mouth. Putting it down, he ran his hand through his hair in frustration.

"Okay."

Rachel felt her heart almost skip a beat, biting her lip to stop him from seeing how excited she was.

"But Hordley has to go."

She felt her smile drop.

"It's the only way we can work together, Rachel," he reasoned. When he saw her shake her head in denial, he pressed on. "You've got to call his bluff."

"It's not a bluff," she argued, her head still shaking.

Her head rested on her hand, trying to appear nonchalant but he could see straight past her.

"I was going to deal with this myself." He reached into his top pocket in his blazer, pulling out a small piece of paper. "But…"

She was handed the paper, realising it was a cheque. It was the sum of money that Hordley had promised to Steph, cashing in at two thousand pounds. She looked up at him in resignation. Eddie just wasn't going to let it go.

"We've got to stop him," he insisted.

Rachel wanted him to stay. She wanted him to stay more than anything, but that meant she had to choose between him and Stuart. Usually, personally, it would have been obvious who was more important to her but Stuart still had the upper hand. She couldn't get rid of him.

"I'll call," she nodded. She'd just tell him she had. "I'll call the council. I'll tell them everything."

He grinned at her, a gesture she hadn't seen in a while. She'd do anything for him to forgive her, apart from calling the LEA. Eddie raised his glass to her, downing the remnants of the alcohol. She followed suite, hoping he wouldn't suddenly notice that she was lying to him. Reaching for the bottle of whisky, she knew she was going to need more.

After another drink, Eddie stood suddenly. She hoped he was going but he turned towards her desk.

"Shall we do it now then?"

"Now?" she cried, surprised he was staying.

She had thought he would leave it to her. Rachel realised how much he didn't trust her anymore, something she guessed she deserved.

"I was going to do it later," she excused, "Maybe tomorrow morning."

"Why can't you do it now?" he frowned, edging towards the phone, "It will be much easier. Then it will be over and done with."

He passed her the number for the LEA offices. Knowing she had no other choice, she licked her lips nervously, almost scrunching the paper in her hands. She didn't want to phone them. He watched her expectantly as she sunk slowly into her chair, her hands starting to tremble. Eddie sat opposite on top of the cupboard, arms crossed. Rachel could feel his gaze tearing into her and she thought for a moment that she might faint. This wasn't how she had planned it. Her hands moved back and forth across the desk, unable to touch the phone.

"Do it quickly then it's over," he urged.

He nodded in encouragement but it didn't make her feel any better. She started to call the number. She was halfway through when she realised what she was doing, pressing the cancel button. Rachel couldn't bring herself to do it.

Eddie saw her hesitation. "I'll do it."

He moved to stand up but she felt herself panicking.

"No!" she shouted. Taking a deep breath, she met his eye. "I can do it."

He sat back down, throwing his hands in the air as he huffed. Patience was not one of his virtues. Pulling the paper towards her, she stared at the numbers for a moment, thinking fast about what to do. Eventually she started to type out a number that she knew very well. Glancing at him, she wanted him to see her pressing the buttons. He smiled genuinely at her and she smiled back, upset he had forced her into that situation. She pressed the phone to her hear, listening to it ring. The line connected almost straight away.

"Yes, hi, it's Rachel Mason."

A man's voice answered. "Hi, can I take your order?"

"That's right. Waterloo Road. Can I speak to the director of finance, please?"

She watched Eddie to see how he was taking it. He didn't seem to think anything was amiss, staring expectantly at her.

"Do you want to place an order?" the man repeated.

"Can I leave a message? I need to discuss the Hordley contract." She paused for effect. "Well, as soon as possible. I've got some disturbing information about Stuart Hordley's bid."

The man had had enough of her.

"I think you've got the wrong number, love," he told her.

The line disconnected and she knew she had to end the conversation. Smiling up at Eddie, she hoped he hadn't noticed. He hadn't.

"Okay, well, if you can call me in the morning. Thank you. Bye."

She dropped the phone quickly, her hand sinking back to her lap. Sighing heavily, Rachel looked everywhere but at Eddie. It was hard to lie to his face.

"The director of finance is calling me in the morning and I am top priority."

She still didn't look at him. He jumped up, suddenly back to the Eddie she knew so well.

"I am so proud of you, Rachel!" he cried, excited. "Ugh, I wish I can see his face when you tell him."

She couldn't bear to see him so happy when she had deceived him. He didn't deserve that, but she also didn't deserve to be forced into revealing her past. Eddie noticed her staring at him sadly. As soon as he saw her, she avoided her eyes, staring down at the desk. He mistook it over worry for Stuart.

"Hey, come on," he assured her, "Anything he throws at us, we'll handle it together. Okay?"

He sounded so comforting that she managed to smile at him, wondering how she was going to cover up her latest lie.

"Yeah."

* * *

 _6_ _th_ _April 2008_

 _Dear Eddie,_

 _Am I wrong to believe that everything is finally starting to get back on track? With you and me, at least. Our friendship, which I thought had been completely ruined, seemed to have almost shifted to how it used to be. We're not as close but there was a slight tenderness to you today that I haven't seen in over a week. Are you finally starting to forgive me? I think you have. Why else would you have stayed?_

 _I'd been trying so hard over the past week to slowly exclude you from executive decisions but it hadn't mattered until today. It's been pretty boring this week until Brett and Mika decided to climb a tree. That's when you really started to notice. And it worked, didn't it? To some degree. You ended up staying but at a terrible cost for me. You had insisted all week that people should be told. The real reason I didn't was because I was holding out hope that you'd stay so there was no reason to worry anyone. Also, I didn't want to consider the possibility that you really would be leaving. Would you have kept in contact with me? I don't know. Before all of the trouble, I might have reasoned that we could have remained friends if you left, maybe inquiring occasionally into your wellbeing. If you'd left during this week, I'm sure we would never have spoken again unless in a professional capacity. That hurt. It hurt a lot._

 _You see, I've been thinking a lot about you this week, more than usual. Would you think about me when you left? Would you care anymore? I wasn't really sure about the answer. I guess you don't have much reason to think about me now. I'd be only a faint memory to you once you'd moved on. After all, we've only worked together for a few months. But I'd miss you terribly, Eddie. I missed you before you'd even left and I thought of you every second that you weren't there, scared I'd blink and you'd be gone. To make it worse, it would only have been my fault in the end. I was the reason you were leaving. Nothing seemed worse to me._

 _I tried to halve your responsibilities between Tom and Steph today. I'm not really sure how that went. Tom seems to be having a family crisis, which I'm hoping has been sorted after today, and continually seemed confused. Steph was different to how I'd expected. She was a lot more serious and did everything I asked her to. The only problem is, she was only able to give me one piece of advice today. It was good, don't get me wrong, but I needed her to have more initiative. I know it's there. Anyway, I'm not entirely sure that I'm being entirely fair. Whoever that new deputy may have been, I wouldn't have given them a chance. If it wasn't you then I didn't want to know. All of my expectations measure up to you. So unless my deputy was Eddie Lawson, I wouldn't want another._

 _It sounds rather silly. There are plenty of deputy's throughout the country and you'd think there must be someone better, but to me there isn't. I couldn't imagine coming in on the morning and not seeing you walk through my door, or hear your voice, or even see those eyes again. I bet you wouldn't even care about me if you'd gone. You'd probably have a great time away from my nagging and deceit. I wish I could change your perception of me, to do it all over again. But there's no point dwelling on something I cannot change._

 _Today was rather challenging; I would have benefited from having your help. I really missed you offering your opinions and advice. Would the situation have been different if it had been you and me? I'm not sure. Mika and Brett were pretty adamant to stay out there and… Anyway, no. Let's not get into this because I was extremely angry with them today, particularly Brett._

 _In all honesty, I don't know where to go with this. All I can feel right now is relief. The reason I've been so tired is because I've been sitting up all night worrying about how to make you stay. It occurred to me what it might have been like if I could have been the reason you stayed. I know I wasn't and would never be, but what a thought! I know I'm only meant to be here for six months but I'm really considering staying. It's the first time in a long time that I've felt truly happy somewhere, even with the ever looming threat of Hordley. Would you want me to stay? Probably not._

 _But I still feel as if you care to some extent. You noticed me panicking when Tom fell from the tree, probably hard to miss. I really appreciate your comfort, although I couldn't help noticing your fingers running along my arm, even for a brief second. It drove me to distraction. Thank you. I know you don't particularly like me at the moment, yet you still tried to help me. So thanks._

 _What's really been bothering me is what happened after the school day. I managed to convince you to stay. At least, I believe I had. For all I know you've been sitting at home contemplating your decision and came to that conclusion all on your own. You've obviously thought of the terms in which you'd stay. It was strange for you to be so uncharacteristically quiet. When it came to it, I was actually incredibly nervous to ask you to stay. It probably wasn't my place and I'm not sure I was the right person to convince you. So when you said yes, I nearly forgot to breathe. I've been worrying incessantly about what I was going to do but it turned out that all I had to do was ask. And then the moment was ruined._

" _Hordley has to go."  
Oh, Eddie, haven't you got it yet? He can't go. No matter how much I want him to. It's not as if you've haven't seen all the evidence he has against me. Am I really naïve enough to believe he doesn't have space copies? A man like him… It just isn't possible. How can you be so believing that people would be that good? Hordley isn't going to give in, not now. Thankfully, I haven't seen him since I turned down his offer of dinner but I know he won't leave me alone. It occurred to me that he might not ever leave me alone. He can afford to. I can't understand how you can't see that. You say it's the only way we can work together but that's simply not true. And now, even if you don't know it, we are still working together, despite Hordley still lingering nearby. _

_Your hatred for him goes beyond me and that blinds you. You think the simple conclusion would be to call his bluff, to show how terrible he really is. But have you thought about what would happen after? Have you thought what would happen to me? I could not carry on working at Waterloo Road. I'm not even sure I would be allowed. Did that cross your mind? Your ideal of us working together could ultimately lead us to doing the exact opposite. And I can't do that. I can't do that because I can't reveal my past, I can't let that affect Waterloo Road as a whole, I can't leave a place where I'm finally happy, and I can't leave you. I can't._

 _Sometimes I think you can see right through me, that you understand me that much. Other times I feel like you don't understand me at all. My distress was evident. I don't know how plainer I could have made my feelings. I just wanted you to leave and not resort to lying any more than necessary. But I ended up having to lie to you and that killed me. It made me the exact person you believed me to be. That wasn't what I wanted._

 _If you ever find out that I lied to you, God help me. I don't want you to be any more disappointed than you already are. You were so excited when you had thought I had phoned the LEA, proud almost, if I may say so. It wasn't really the LEA office, Eddie. It was nothing like that. I panicked and called my local Chinese take-away instead. They must have thought I was crazy. Whenever I looked at you, your eyes glistened and you were back to the old Eddie, my Eddie. Before you were angry with me. I couldn't even look at you. You thought it was because I was uncomfortable with phoning the office but I was really upset at having to lie to you, at being pushed into a situation where I had to. That was one of the last things I wanted to do. You were suddenly my friend again. I was so relieved to have you back that I almost forgot about everything else. I managed to glance up at you and you were so happy. Your smile was exquisite. Then I was reminded of why I had made you happy and I couldn't stand thinking that I had made you so happy when I had deceived you. You don't deserve that. You deserve much more._

 _And then you said something that nearly ended me. "We'll handle it together." You said it so sincerely, so warm, so caring. I didn't even know what to say. Does that mean you'll stick with me? Does that mean we can be friends again? That you've forgiven me for my past? I really do hope so._

 _Yours,_

 _Rachel xxx_


	14. Chapter 14

A week had passed and Rachel had worried incessantly that Eddie would realise her lie. He had nagged her, wearing down her defences, until she had finally told him that Hordley's contract was cancelled. Since then, he had hardly mentioned it. All she wanted was for him to forgive her.

Breathing out, she glanced over at the pile of paperwork she needed to get through. The further she got into the term, the more it seemed to rise. Pulling a paper in front of her, she was only halfway down the page when Eddie entered, his phone held up. She knew immediately that something was wrong.

"I've just heard back from the council."

Something was definitely wrong.

"They know nothing about that contract being cancelled," he accused, "But I suppose you know about that already."

She flicked her fringe out of her eyes to see him better, her nerves settling uncomfortably.

"Look…" she tried.

"You lied to me."

Closing her eyes, she'd always known he'd figure it out. She just wasn't sure when.

"I'm sorry," she faltered, "I didn't have a choice. That construction deal is worth millions to him. If he lost his contract, I'll lose my job. It's as simple as that."

It was usually a rule that Rachel didn't explain herself. She didn't have to. But somehow, she always felt herself having to explain herself to Eddie. It seemed important that he understand.

"You have to call the police."

Not that he usually did understand.

"Oh, and say what, Eddie?" she scoffed, "That's not an option."

Her hands rose in the air, unsure of what to do with herself. This was becoming a frequent problem. He thought she had to do one thing but she wanted to do another. Her fingers brushed her forehead lightly as she waited for him to respond, nervous.

"Then…" He paused, glancing around the room for inspiration. "Let me help. What can I do to get you out of all this?"

It was such an incredibly sweet thing for him to say, a very typical retort. She wasn't sure how to respond. Her immediate and usual reaction was to push him away. As much as she relished in their friendship, she was also aware she was becoming dependent on him in a way that she never had with anyone else in years.

"I'm dealing with it." That was all she had to say about that, looking down at the desk. "I'm doing it in my own way."

Which meant she wasn't dealing with it at all.

"Doesn't look like it from here," he remarked.

He pursed his lips, not bothered by her irritation. She glared up at him, leaning forward partially.

"Eddie, can't you just take a hint?" she hissed, her anger rising, "This is a part of my life I hate to even think about, let alone discuss." He glanced away as she took a deep breath. "If you can't get that into your head then can you just go?"

"Fine."

He stormed out with a terrible look. She knew she was going to have to do something about Hordley but she was too scared to. Her head dropped into her hands as she tried to regulate her heart rate. Once she was less anxious, she knew she had to go see Eddie. Again, she felt the extreme need to explain herself to him. Plus, he would be in a bad mood all day if she didn't figure it out.

She paused outside of his door, watching him undisturbed for a moment. He had his back to her, flicking through a large textbook. Rachel knew she couldn't stay out there any longer. If he turned and saw her, it would be awkward. He turned around when he heard the door open, glancing down when he saw who it was. She sighed heavily.

"I don't want you to get caught up in this," she explained, letting the door drop closed behind her. "It's my mess."

"I just want to help," he mumbled, "Maybe you need to talk to someone. Get some perspective on it."

She rolled her eyes, looking over at the window. It somehow calmed her to see the continuous blue sky.

"Perspective," she whispered.

There was no possible situation where she would speak to someone about it. The only people she could speak to was Eddie and Melissa. She wasn't bringing her sister back into her mess. Eddie interrupted her thoughts.

"Worst case scenario, it comes out. Then what?"

She stared at him, unable to comprehend what he was saying.

"Hinchcliff and co may moan a bit," he guessed, "But they're not going to fire you."

That wasn't something he could promise, she knew that. Scoffing, she walked over to the front of his desk, leaning across it.

"Eddie, how can you possible know that?"

"You haven't done anything wrong," he shrugged.

"Okay, then, they might not fire me but do you honestly think I can stay here?" She watched him as he closed his eyes, thinking about the possibility. "And carry on as if nothing has happened? Hundreds of parents find out that an ex-prostitute is running their kids school…" She shook her head, unable to even comprehend it. "What do you think they're going to do? Congratulate me?" He couldn't even look her in the eye. "They'd be after my blood and you know what, I couldn't blame them."

"It's a long time ago, Rachel."

He said it softly that she almost believed he could be right.

"That makes absolutely no difference in the minds of these people, believe me," she sighed, straightening up.

Eddie was about to argue when the door opened. Rachel spun around, frustrated they had been interrupted. Tom was there with one of the pupils behind him, Sameen. She was still in her football kit. There was obviously something wrong.

* * *

It turned out that Sameen was uncharacteristically angry during football practice that morning. She'd argued with the students and teachers. In the changing room, she'd claimed someone had stolen her uniform, which all the girls denied. Janeece had then found a pair of sweaty pyjamas. Tom had guessed they were Sameen's and she hadn't got a uniform. Something was wrong. She didn't usually cause a problem.

Sitting behind her desk, she leant on the table top as she looked up at the girl in front of her.

"Seriously, Sameen, this isn't like you."

Her hands clasped together as Sameen kept her mouth firmly shut. She could feel the anger bristling off her from where she was sitting.

"I know you weren't in school yesterday," she pressed on. "Has something happened?"

Sameen's gaze was on the floor as she answered. "No, nothing."

She sounded incredibly irritated. Rachel couldn't help but exchange a glance with Tom. They both knew something was the matter, else she wouldn't be in such a foul mood.

"So why the pyjamas? I mean, people just don't turn up at school dressed like that for no reason. Is everything alright at home?"

"Yeah."

There was silence for a moment as Rachel considered her. She already knew that Sameen wasn't going to say anything, but she decided to push anyway, one last time.

"Sameen, we want to help you. If there's something wrong, a problem, then you need to tell us."

"There's nothing wrong, okay?" she exclaimed, "I keep saying. You can't make me say if I don't want to talk, can you?"

Tom was trying hard not to frequently glance at Rachel, seeing how she'd react to the girl. She didn't, not wanting to give her the satisfaction.

"No, no. You're quite right. I can't." She stood up. "So maybe you should take yourself off to the cooler, hm?" She went over to Sameen, her hand resting lightly on her shoulder. They both moved to the door, stopping at the entrance. "Come on. See if you can bring yourself to explain why you turned up in your pyjamas." Her hand dropped to her side, reaching for the door handle instead. "Can you just wait in here for a minute, please?"

Once she knew Sameen had seated herself, she turned to grimace at Tom. Walking towards him, she wasn't sure how to proceed. How were they going to get Sameen to talk?

"Is she usually like this?" she asked.

He shook his head frantically. "No, she's a model student."

She was unsure of what to do.

"So what do we know about her family?"

Tom was obviously thinking furiously. The Azizi family weren't usually people to bring attention to themselves.

"Nice people, very supportive, involved. I mean, there was a question mark over their immigration status not long back but I thought that was all sorted."

Rachel realised that might be a possible problem. She wasn't particularly sure. Folding her arms, she knew she had to leave it for a while, wait for Sameen to calm down. That started with her being comfortable.

"Can you do me a favour and find her some uniform from lost property?" She moved back over to her desk, tugging on the front of her blazer. "And I will contact her parents and see what's going on."

"Right," Tom acknowledged, leaving the office.

As she watched him leave with Sameen, she reached out for the phone.

* * *

She had tried to phone the Azizi household but there hadn't been any answer. There didn't seem to be any rush so she asked Bridget to keep on checking throughout the day. Rachel had given herself a well-deserved morning break. She'd made herself a coffee, sat down on the sofa, and stared out of the window. She wasn't looking at anything in particular. No matter how much she tried, her mind kept on going back to Eddie and his request.

Bridget came in, interrupting her thoughts for the moment. Rachel noticed she had a brown envelope in her hand. She had been waiting for them, reaching up to take them.

"Thank you, Bridget," she smiled, "Have you heard any news from Sameen Azizi's parents?"

"No, nothing. It's just ringing out."

Frustrated, she glanced back out of the window. She wanted to know what was going on. A car caught her eye as a man and woman climbed out, dressed formally in suits. She didn't know them but she guessed they would be looking for her. She stood up quickly, her rejected coffee sitting on the table.

"We have some guests," she told a questioning Bridget.

Rachel managed to meet them as they were about to access a side entrance to the art corridor.

"Hello, can I help you?" she inquired.

The man spoke first. "We're looking for a Miss Mason."

It must be serious.

"That's me," she affirmed.

"We're from the, er…" He rummaged in his blazer pocket, pulling out a badge, flashing it at her. "Border immigration agency. We're actually looking for Sameen Azizi."

She felt her mouth drop open. So whatever Tom had said earlier, it turned out their migration papers had not been sorted. It would explain why Sameen had been acting strange.

"Why?" she frowned.

"We've found she's in this country illegally, Miss Mason," he explained, "She and her family are to be removed."

Rachel shook her head in denial. She didn't know the family very well but she never would have thought they would be sent back to their home country, that they were immigrants. This was a conversation they needed to have in her office. On the way up, she found out the man's name was Baxter and the woman's Dhumal.

She entered her office, her hands knitting together.

"You see, I don't understand because I thought Sameen and her family were in the middle of an appeal."

"No," said Baxter, "They were removed to a detention centre two days ago."

She spun around in surprise. Well, that explained why they hadn't been answering the home phone.

"They're due to fly out later today."  
"Sameen ran away this morning," Dhumal told her, "and we thought she may have come here. She doesn't have anywhere else to go."

Rachel knew she was in a moral dilemma. She couldn't give Sameen up yet, not without consulting her first.

"Okay, erm…" She gestured towards the sofa, trying to smile confidently. "Come sit down, please." She waited for them to sit before she did so herself. "You see, the thing is Sameen has been at Waterloo Road for five years. Her little sister was born in England. You can't just cut off her education. She's been doing really well here."

The girl had been doing astonishingly well. It would be a shame to stop it now. The immigration officers didn't share her views.

"Miss Mason, we think it's in Sameen's best interests to be with her family at this difficult time, and obviously when they return to Iran."

Rachel folded her arms, feeling her fingers bury themselves into the material of her blazer.

"Erm, sorry," she argued, "but as far as I'm concerned, Iran doesn't do much for a girl's interests, Mr Baxter."

They glanced down at the floor before glancing back over at her. They didn't seem pleased.

"Look, I know it may seem brutal but you know the law," said Baxter. "The fact is the Azizi family are in this country illegally. So, if you could take us to her."

Rachel didn't want to do that. Sameen needed space first. There was a reason she ran to school instead of staying with her family.

"Sorry?" She cocked her head to one side.

"To wherever she is in the school," prompted Baxter.

He stared expectantly at her as she thought about what she was going to do. Blinking quickly, she shook her head.

"She's not. I mean, she hasn't been seen at school today."

Miss Dhumal quickly latched onto what she had said, highly suspicious of her.

"And you know all the kids that don't come to school?"

"No." Rachel's mind was wheeling as she scrambled for an excuse. She smiled at them, hoping she appeared confident. "But she's due to play a very important football game. She's our star player."

Dhumal raised her eyebrow, leaning back as the two women observed each other.

"Sameen's been absent for the past few days," Rachel told her. The two officers glanced between each other while Rachel noticed the time on her watch. "It's registration now. How about I take you to her form and you can see for yourselves?"

* * *

After asking Bridget, she found out that Sameen was supposed to be in Grantly's registration. Of course, she wouldn't be; Rachel had sent her to the cooler. Sameen should be one of the first on the list so they had to be fairly quick. Rachel opened the door in time to hear him call out her name. Perfect timing.

"Sameen?" Grantly drawled, not interested whether she was there or not.

Rachel made a point of asking, feeling the presence of the officers behind her.

"No Sameen again?" she questioned.

She could see some of the girls' confusion as they muttered between themselves. They were also on the football team. Danielle put her hand up.

"Sir?"

He glanced over to her and Rachel knew they had to be going. Danielle was going to put her in a compromising situation.

"Erm, thank you, Mr Budgen."

Rachel quickly ushered them out, closing the door firmly behind them so nothing was said. As they had been assured, they allowed her to lead them back to their car. Baxter handed her a small business card.

"You will call us if she turns up?" he asked.

"Yes, of course." She took the card daintily off him. "It must be terrible when a child slips through the net."

The card flicked against her hand as she became restless for them to leave. He frowned at her when she smiled coyly, hesitating before getting back into his car. She watched them as the engine started.

"Rachel?"

She turned to the sound of Eddie's voice. She wanted to make sure the officers couldn't hear, peering over her shoulder. Eddie glanced too before his shoulders hunched. This was a personal conversation, she could tell already.

"Er, listen." He dug his hands into his pockets, his eyes flickering around the playground but not at her. "I didn't realise that…"

She raised her eyebrows, realising what he was going to say. It made her offer him a small smile, encouraging him to answer, even if his voice was low and soft.

"I didn't really think it through." He managed to meet her eye. "I was a bit of a prat. I'm sorry."

"I really don't want you to leave Waterloo Road, Eddie."

She didn't know where the honesty had come from but she didn't regret it. Everything about him seemed to soften and Rachel thought for a moment that he looked incredibly sad.

"Nor do I," he muttered.

That was exactly what she had wanted to hear.

"Good," she breathed, "I will- I will try and find a way of getting rid of Hordley."

"I don't want you to do it by yourself." He glanced, chuckling slightly in embarrassment. "And I promise, no more lectures about coming clean. I know you can't but we've got to fight back."

She nodded a little, glad he had listened to her. That was all she had wanted.

"Get him off your case. Otherwise he'll just been hanging over you forever."

"Yeah." She didn't want to go any further into the conversation now he had apologised. That didn't mean she wasn't extremely grateful. "I'm afraid we've got another battle on our hands at the moment." They start to walk back inside, side by side as their bodies moved in sync. "We need a staff meeting with all the heads of department."

That peaked his interest immediately. "Okay? What's it about?"

She peered up at the sky while he glanced over his shoulder at the retreating car.

"Something to do with these guys?" he questioned.

"Waterloo Road versus Her Majesty's government."

"Hm…"

She could tell he was secretly relishing the upcoming fight.

* * *

The first thing to do, before anything else, was to speak to Sameen. That was the most important thing before she bulldozed her way into other people's affairs. While Rachel was headed for the cooler, Eddie went to gather the teachers. Sitting opposite Sameen, the girl's head bent down, almost touching the desk so she didn't have to look at her headmistress.

"Why did you run?" she asked, "Why didn't you stay with your family?"

Sameera knew she had figured it out, still staring at the desk.

"Part of me wishes I had but my mom…" She glanced up as her speech faltered. There was a short pause as she struggled to speak. "She told me to run. She said that she wanted me to stay here and get my education, no matter what. So I came here."

"Sameen, the British government obviously thinks it's safe to go back."

She breathed out, shaking her head. "Not for us. My dad could be in trouble. Can you promise me that he's not going to get punished for something he did years ago?"

Rachel scanned the room, knowing she didn't have an answer. She wasn't entirely sure of why they had left Iran but she knew whatever the reason, they hadn't wanted to go back.

"Sameen, there's something else you need to know. Immigration turned up at school."

That caused an instantaneous reaction.

"Miss Mason, please don't make me go with them," she urged, her voice breaking, "Please don't make me go with them!"

"I won't," she affirmed. And she meant it. "And they've gone. But I'm afraid they're likely to return. If you wanna stay, we will fight it." Sameen looked her in the eye, her eyes widening. It was clear how deep her gratefulness was. "I will do everything in my power to stop this deportation. We all will."

She smiled comfortingly, which caused a reaction from Sameen, a small smile appearing on her face. It dropped a moment later.

"What about my family, miss?" she quizzed, "They're due to fly out this afternoon."

Rachel saw that as a challenge that she would work for. She wanted nothing more than to give the best to all her students, Sameen included.

"Well then, we'll have to work fast, won't we?"

Sameen nodded. Rachel hated seeing a pupil in distress, reaching out for her, her fingers curling around her wrist.

"Why don't you go back to class?" she asked softly, "We won't talk to anyone about this for now, yeah?"

Sameen was obviously grateful, smiling in relief. "Thanks, miss."

"Okay."

Standing, Sameen seemed glad to return to her normal routine. Rachel smiled encouragingly at her until she heard the door click shut, her smile dropping instantly. This was going to be a nightmare to figure out. Rushing back to her office, she found Bridget flicking through a file. Rachel practically ran past, calling out for her.

"Bridget, what do you know about deportation and trying to stop it?"

She could tell her secretary was puzzled, dropping her file to pick up a writing pad. Her footsteps were heard following her into the office.

"Erm…" she muttered.

Rachel spun around, desperate for any advice. She had no idea what to do.

"To be honest, nothing," admitted Bridget.

Her face scrunched slightly as she shrugged. She was obviously embarrassed at her lack of knowledge. Rachel knew she and Bridget had to work fast and in as much detail before the bell rang at the end of the day, whatever it was they knew about deportation.

"Okay… Well, by the end of the day, you and I are going to be experts."

She exhaled happily and sharply, tugging on the front of her blazer. This was the kind of challenge she wanted when she became a teacher, as long as Sameen benefited from it. Bridget just nodded slowly, knowing it'd be best not to question her.

"Right, I need you to get online," Rachel ordered, "And find a support group for this kind of thing."

Bridget started to scribble furiously, nodding occasionally to show she was listening.

"Yeah? And call Emma from social services." She clapped her hands together. "I need to know where to start."

It was a new situation for her, not knowing what was she was meant to be doing first. Moving behind her desk, she grabbed the phone. Bridget had already returned to her desk, still writing. Rachel called through, seeing her through the window.

"Can you also arrange a call from one of the governors? Er, preferably Nigel Hinchliff."

Bridget's head popped up from the bottom of the window. "Yep."

* * *

Eddie had been true to his word, rounding up all of the heads of department. They were crowded at the bottom of the staffroom. Rachel was almost intimidated by them before she reminded herself that they would want to help. They turned around when they heard her walk in and she wasted no time telling them the situation. As she spoke, she could already tell there was going to be a mixed reception.

"Waterloo Road is going to do all they can to prevent this deportation and quickly. I mean, we can only help her while she is in our care." She took a moment to let them think about it. "Immigration have already showed up once. It's only a matter of time before they turn up again. Now, I've spoken to the LEA and they suggest we put together a folder of Sameen's work…"

"What for?" interrupted Steph.

She was one of those that obviously opposed the idea. Rachel couldn't understand what the problem was. It was quite obvious why they were doing it. Steph was usually so supportive that Rachel was suddenly unsure of what to say.

"We're lodging an appeal to revoke." She carried on, pretending she hadn't been interrupted. "I mean, if we can convince our local MP that, you know, she has great potential and finish her exams, we might get a stop order."

Grantly visibly shook his head.

"And how are we going to do that?" he opposed. "She's no genius in English."

She wasn't perturbed, an answer ready when she turned to him.

"Well, if you could get together some work that reflects grade A ability and get it to me as soon as possible, that would be great."

Grantly sighed heavily, bending his head down in defeat. Some of the teachers evidently were unhappy with what she was saying.

"Aren't you asking him to commit fraud?" frowned Steph.

It was going to take a lot to convince her, that much was obvious. Tom glared at her, agreeing with Rachel, his folded arms tightening more.

"She's asking us to give a fourteen year old kid a break."

Rachel nodded, pleased with his support. Grantly took this chance to voice his opinion.

"Excuse me."

She glanced over at him.

"No offence," he excused. Great; exactly what she needed. Sitting down, she tried her best not to roll her eyes. "But are we to presume that we'll be doing this every time immigration decide to send a pupil home?"

"Well, as far as Sameen is concerned, this is her home."

He scoffed, standing up abruptly.

"This country is stretched to the limits with asylum seekers." He turned to face the staff. "We give them a safe place to live, health care, benefits, but when it's time for them to go home." He shrugged. "It's time for them to go home."

Rachel stared at him incredulously, unable to believe he could be that selfish. Breathing out slowly, her lips pursed thinly, not trusting herself to say anything yet. He glanced down at her smugly, expecting her to agree with him. She nodded, extremely irritated.

"Duly noted, Grantly," she seethed, "Thank you."

Her eyes flicked to his seat. He understood what she wanted, sitting back down sheepishly.

"Now," she continued, "I want everyone involved in this. So, erm…" Rachel looked around for a good example, particularly a teacher that would back her firmly. "Tom." She leant forward, glad there was someone. "Can you get a photo of Sameen as captain of the football team?"

He didn't hesitate in answering. "Absolutely."

"Great." She stood up, knowing she had made her point. "I want to make it impossible for the home office to dispute how well she's doing here. And how detrimental it would be to her education to remove her so please, come on."

She saw Grantly shake his head, his mouth gaping open in anger.

"Yeah?" she checked.

Rachel left before anybody else could argue. She didn't have time for Grantly and Steph to make excuses.

* * *

As she was walking back to her office, Eddie was rushing down the stairs. She stopped halfway, intrigued as to why he was running with his coat on.

"Where are you going?" she questioned.

"I'm just going to have a word with Hordley."

She now knew how he felt when she had been interfering with Alison, apart from this was a little more serious. Trying her hardest not to shout, she stopped him before he could go any further.

"No, Eddie, don't!" she exclaimed, her heart beating painfully against her chest, "Look, let's talk first. I mean, I appreciate you helping but you'll make it worse if you go steaming in."

She thought he had learnt from their discussion earlier. His mouth downturned and she knew he'd do anything to get rid of Hordley. Part of her was glad but she was also terrified of what he might do. Eddie opened his mouth to answer, although he was cut short by Bridget who came from out of the anti-chamber, leaning over the banister.

"Miss Mason, I've got the LEA on the phone regarding Sameen Azizi."

Eddie seized his chance. "Look, you're busy. You deal with this and I'll deal with Hordley."

He saw her about to protest, his hand running down her arm.

"I'm just going to ruffle his feathers," he assured her.

She couldn't even argue any further, her arm intentionally pressing against his hand. Then he was gone. The bell rang as she turned around, her mind reeling. She knew she had to concentrate, especially with Bridget waiting for her at the top. Rachel didn't know what to think about it.

* * *

She was reading incoming work from the teachers when her laptop beeped with a notification. Glancing over with curiosity, she could see she'd received a new email. It was from Hordley. All she could see was 'I DON'T'. She clicked on it.

I DON'T TAKE KINDLY TO THREATS.

Closing her eyes briefly, she wondered what Eddie had done. He'd obviously managed to upset Stuart greatly. Rolling her eyes, she heard Bridget pulling the glass window back.

"Our MPs on the line for you," she called.

"Right."

Smiling thankfully, she reached for the phone. Her eyes couldn't stop staring at the message so her hand clasped on the top of the laptop, slamming the top shut.

* * *

"We need your support with the home office…" Mr Charlton was really testing her. "Yes, she's an incredibly bright pupil. She's an asset to this school and we need you behind us. I can get her file to you within the hour. Well, thank you, Mr Charlton. Thank you."

Eddie stormed in, a file gripped in his hand.

"Yes. Bye, bye."

She slammed the phone down, incredibly annoyed to see him. She would have thought that he'd have left Stuart alone but that email had ruined her mood. Glaring up at him, he didn't seem to notice.

"Eddie, what were you doing this morning?" she accused, "Stuart's furious. He's threatening all sorts of things." He smirked, not seeing the issue. "He's emailed me."

He moved to look, his eyebrows shooting up to his forehead.

"Really? Let's have a look."

He bent over to read the message. She was too busy being immersed in the smell of him to hear him sigh in irritation.

"It's not enough," he muttered, "But it's working." He stood straight and she sat back against her chair, huffing. "In the meantime…" He threw the file on her desk. "Here we go."

Rachel still couldn't shake her irritation off, snatching the file and noticing the endless pages of notes.

"Here we go, what?" she snapped.

"Child employment regulations," he explained, smirking as her gaze snapped up in surprise. "I've been doing a bit of digging. Stuart contravenes most of those."

She flicked through, her interest peaking. Eddie was obviously onto something. One step ahead as always.

"Are you serious?"

"Deadly. It's all in there."

She suddenly thought of Bolton. That must have been why Stuart was so desperate to have a real job interview. Flicking through, she couldn't believe what she was reading. Eddie moved back to the front of her desk as she read.

"They're not supposed to start before seven am," he told her, "and they're not allowed to work more than one hour before school. Candice tells me Bolton's been working up to six hours a day."

Her eyes widened, upset she had let Bolton work for him in the first place. She'd always known it was a bad idea. Stuart had been making his money all along on blackmail and cheap labour.

"And there are other kids Bolton's age who are doing the same," he added.

This was finally something that could make Stuart leave them alone.

"I hope you're right about this, Eddie," she glowered, "Because Stuart is hopping mad."

She closed the file, not wanting to look at it anymore. He smiled down at her. Eddie already had a plan, that was clear.

"I don't know what you said to him…" she started.

"Look, trust me," he interrupted. "I know what I'm doing."

Her gaze dropped down at the desk, unsure of what to do. She did trust him but what if he got her into deeper trouble? He could see her doubts.

"I need you to do something," he said slowly.

Rachel managed to meet his eye, scared of what he was about to say.

* * *

The phone was pressed tightly to her ear but she couldn't seem to move her hand away. It was gripping the plastic tightly as her other hand twiddled a pen between her fingers.

"I know Eddie's taking it a little too far. I know that now. It's all out of control." She exhaled shakily. "He's trying to get your contract cancelled. I just need you to know that it's got nothing to do with me, okay?"

His voice came across the line, incredibly abrupt. "I don't care who it is, Rachel. I strongly recommend that you persuade him to back off, for your sake."

"Look, we need to talk," she urged.

It was the complete opposite of what she wanted to do but it was necessary.

"Urgently," she added, "I can't get over to you. Is there any chance that you can come here?"

He didn't hesitate in answering. "Okay."

"Okay," she grinned, her tongue running slowly against her top lip, "Great. Well, thank you."

The line disconnected straight away. She had been right in thinking Eddie had extremely angered him. It didn't matter anymore. They had the upper hand. As she put the phone down, she couldn't help the small smile that spread across her face. Eddie had been right. Stuart could finally leave her be.

* * *

Bridget led the immigration officers back into Rachel's office an hour later. The secretary looked apologetic as she halted at the door. Rachel stopped typing on her laptop to smile politely at her.

"Thank you, Bridget."

Bridget nodded, disappearing back to her desk. Baxter and Dhumal stood side by side at the door, staring down at her.

"So, have you found her?" she inquired.

"No, we haven't, Miss Mason," Baxter answered, "but we have a confirmed sighting. A local resident saw a young girl in pyjamas running into the school grounds early this morning."

Great, as if the neighbours weren't nosy enough. Of course Rachel knew that she was working on limited time.

"If Sameen is here, Miss Mason," sniffed Dhumal, "you're splitting a family apart."

Rachel shook her head instantly. "I can assure you Sameen Azizi is not here."

They left straight after, knowing there was nothing else they could do. Once they had gone, Rachel seated herself at the round table to eat her lunch. She decided to read up a little more on the child regulation booklet. Moments later, Jasmine burst into the room, halting abruptly at the door.

"Rachel, come quickly," she cried, "We have a situation."

Rachel dropped her sandwich, glancing at it a little forlornly. She just wanted to eat her lunch. Hurrying after Jasmine, she was told that Sameen had locked herself in the gym changing rooms with Danielle and Aleesha. Tom had been trying to convince her to come out when the officers heard him calling her name. Baxter and Dhumal were now standing outside of the changing rooms. She saw for herself when she rounded the corner, pushing past the small congregation of students.

"Can you please move away from the door?" she exclaimed, stepping up to them.

The officers turned to her accusingly.

"You assured us Sameen wasn't in school," frowned Baxter.

The three of them glanced between each other. Rachel folded her hands in front of her, her eyebrows rising patiently. She didn't say anything. Her lack of response vexed the officers, especially as the jeers from the students became louder.

"Look, we don't want to cause a fuss but we've got a job to do," Baxter sighed, "So please co-operate with us."

Rachel wasn't about to let Sameen go after all of the work they had contributed to help her stay.

"Sameen at this very moment is having her case reviewed by the home office. If there is a fraction of a chance of her getting a stop order, I am not going to help you. Now you're on school grounds and I remember asking you to leave."

She moved to go back down the steps, feeling their conversation was over. They didn't seem to agree.

"You're harbouring an illegal immigrant," Baxter shouted after her. "Which means by law we can force entry and take her. It also means you are liable for prosecution."

After all the threats she had faced, Rachel didn't care about legal action. She had already taken those steps to help her student stay. Turning back to them, her voice was calm and she felt her hand tighten against the other.

"Well then, we are at a stand off because, by law, I have to protect my pupil's welfare."

The two officers rolled their eyes in unison, frustrated at her lack of co-operation. They noticed Tom, hoping he would be more likely to help. He leant back against the door, folding his arms, making it quite clear where he stood in the situation. Baxter stepped closer to the door.

"Sameen," he called, "Please open the door."

There was no reply from inside. From behind, Bridget bundled up the stairs, pausing by Rachel.

"Miss Mason," she interrupted, "Mr Charlton's called. The home office is looking at Sameen's case and he's hoping to have an answer for us soon."

That was exactly the news that she had been hoping to hear. It meant there was a chance that Sameen could stay. Grinning widely, Bridget returned the gesture.

"Okay," she beamed. She turned back to the officers. "So all we can do is wait." Then she looked at Tom. "I want to be there when he calls. Can I leave you in charge?"  
Before he had even responded, she knew she could trust him. He proved her right. Nodding, he glanced angrily towards Baxter and Dhumal.

"Course," he affirmed.

"Okay."

She hurried back to her office with Bridget, her mood lifting.

* * *

Rachel was pacing in her office, ten minutes later, waiting for the phone to ring. Her good mood had deteriorated quickly. She knew logically that it would take a lot longer than a few minutes to review a case, no matter how urgent it was. Still, she was no longer in a patient mood.

"Have you spoken to Hordley yet?"

Broken from her thoughts, she spun around to find Eddie standing in the doorway. Rachel was conscious at first that he had been watching her, yet pushed that aside.

"Oh, yes, I have." She was annoyed he had decided to question her, considering there were more pressing issues to deal with. "But listen, immigration are back." She heard his heavy sigh. "They know she's here. They're trying to take her, her family are due to fly out in four hours and I've still got no news on Stockwood."

He shrugged, immensely calmer than she was.

"What if it doesn't come through in time?" he asked.

Her head cocked up, unable to consider the answer. She had too much on her mind.

"And if it does," he continued, "we'll be responsible for splitting up the family. She'll be on her own."

Rachel placed her hands on her hips, unsure of what the right thing to do was. Sameen had been happy to stay but she was still a child. Had she really thought of the consequences?

"Then if she gets sent back," he added, "There'll be no guarantee that she'll be reunited."

She stared out of the window, the sight of the sky catching her attention. It allowed her to think clearly. A lot clearer than his heavy stare. Eddie usually made her feel better but he was currently doing the complete opposite. As much as she disliked him for it, she knew he was doing her a favour. He was trying to help.

"I need to know we're not bullying her into a decision she might regret," she admitted.

Part of her had been worried throughout the day that it was exactly what she was doing. That part had been pushed back quickly, scared it would ruin her decisiveness.

"Do you want me to talk to her?" he offered.

She was relieved he always wanted to help, her mood softening.

"Yeah," she nodded, "she's really going through it. The poor kid."

"Hm."

He moved from the doorway, disappearing through the anti-chamber. She knew he was in a hurry; their time was limited. Her doubts were starting to rise more than ever.

* * *

She phoned the office again, desperate for any news on the report. Her quick talk with the secretary was more than helpful. Walking out of her office, she flipped her mobile phone between her hands.

"Mr Charlton should know the decision by the end of the day," she told Bridget.

Rachel had been confident at first that she could help Sameen, fast and efficiently. She should have known better. They weren't going to be fast enough to help her. Bridget seemed to agree, spinning round in her chair.

"What does the end of the day mean?" she questioned, as doubtful as her boss.

"That's a good question," Rachel sighed heavily, "We can only hope now, can't we? Look, come and get me if the call comes through." She started towards the door. "I'm going to go see what's happening."

Bridget nodded dutifully, starting her work again.

* * *

As she stepped next to the door, she could hear Eddie's voice. Rachel didn't know what he was saying but the sound of him was enough to calm her nerves slightly. She knocked on the door loudly and rapidly.

"Eddie, it's me. Can you unlock the door and let me in?"

From the other side, something was heard scraping heavily against the floor. She could see the shadow of Eddie through the door, moving something before it opened. Rachel glanced at Tom before she disappeared inside. Eddie closed the door behind her, watching as she peered up at him.

"Sameen?" she asked softly.

He nodded, gesturing to the second bench along. Sameen was bent over, evidently crying. Rachel sat down beside her instantly, rubbing her on the back. Danielle and Aleesha were still there with her, perhaps taking the opportunity to usurp.

"Has Mr Lawson explained the situation?" she questioned.

"Yes, miss."

"Look, there's still absolutely every hope of still getting this stop order and I'm very confident that we will, but I know there's a lot more than that for you."

Rachel was wary that Sameen may be changing her mind. She had had plenty of time to think about it but still no time at all, not for such a big decision. Sameen took a deep breath.

"It's just not fair," she exclaimed. Her head snapped up to look at Rachel. "I don't know what to do. What do you think I should do?"  
"You should stay right here," interrupted Danielle, "At least you know if the appeal's going to work."

Aleesha nodded in agreement. "Too right."

"But if I do, I might not see my family ever again."

She started to cry. Rachel knew she wouldn't be able to make a decision with the two girls there, making it clear they shouldn't be there.

"I think Sameen needs some space," she told them, "I think it's time to go."

She stood up, knowing they would protest otherwise. Eddie cut in too.

"Come on, girls," he urged, "Let's go."

They both looked at Sameen, as if she would ask them to stay.

"She's right," Sameen sighed, "I don't want to get anyone into any more trouble."

"You sure?" asked Danielle.

Sameen nodded, giving them a weak smile. She sniffed loudly and started to cry once more as they slipped through the door. Before Eddie could leave with them, Rachel reached out, her fingers brushing lightly against his back. He reacted instantly to her touch.

"Eddie, before you go, chase that decision."

He nodded in response, leaving silently. Rachel took that time to sit back beside Sameen. Taking a deep breath, it was the perfect time for her to find out exactly how Sameen wanted to proceed.

"If I had a daughter," she spoke softly, "like you, I'd want her to grab a chance to have the best start in life. I'd want her to make the most of her potential and any possibilities that she had."

"Even if it meant you never saw her again?"

Rachel thought of her own mother, the way she had left with no guilt. She could never do that. If she did, it would be for selfless reasons and only then. She managed to respond, her mind still on her own family as her voice stuttered.

"W-well, if being with her meant putting her in danger or…" She struggled to find the words to explain herself. "Or making her life unhappy then yes, I think so."

She truly believed that was what she would do. Nodding encouragingly, she wanted Sameen to tell her what she wanted.

"What if she was going to be left on her own and her life was going to be unhappy anyhow?"

Rachel could relate to that feeling, knowing she could not subject Sameen to the same unhappiness that she felt.

"And would it be?" she asked, "Without your family?"

"If it works and I stay, how am I supposed to enjoy my life when I don't know what's happening to my mum, and my dad, and my little sister? It's her fourth birthday next week." Sameen stopped to smile fondly, her tears ceasing for the moment. "My mum always told me that in life you're always going to be faced with difficult choices, you just have to make the best ones for now."

Rachel stared down at the floor, listening to her speak. When she stopped, her eyes flickered back up.

"Well, if you want to make something of yourself, you will, no matter where you are."

"As long as I've got the support of my family." Her decision seemed to have been made, standing up suddenly. "I want my mom, miss."

Rachel stood too, relieved they had made a decision.

"Are you sure, hm? Without being influenced by anyone else. Is that what you want?"

"I want to be with my family," Sameen affirmed.

Rachel considered her for a moment, biting her bottom lip. "Of course you do."

She pulled her into a hug, holding her tightly. It was going to be the last time she would see Sameen.

"And I'm sure they want you more than anything else," she added.

In their embrace, she could feel Sameen hold her just as tight, both needing the comfort. Stepping back, she knew they had to go. Sameen had been there long enough.

"Okay, come on."

There was no protest but the two went to the door together. Rachel felt Sameen's hand reach for hers and she allowed her to hold it. She was no longer a student. If she wanted support, she was going to have it, especially for her last moments at Waterloo Road. The crowd outside could be clearly heard, growing louder as they left the changing rooms. As soon as Sameen was close enough, the two officers grabbed each arm and started to pull her. Rachel felt her temper flash, grabbing Dhumal's hand and yanking it from her student.

"Get away from her!" she yelled, seething.

Sameen didn't need to be defended, pulling away from them.

"Get off me," she shouted, "I'll walk on my own."

She stormed down the corridor with the officers in tow. Rachel hurried after them. She was going to ensure Sameen's safety until she no longer could. Danielle was the first to follow them, stopping in front of Rachel when they were outside.

"You can't let them do this, miss," she cried, "It's not right."

Rachel didn't answer. There was nothing she could say. Danielle was naturally going to be upset at the loss of a friend and there was nothing Rachel could do to sooth that loss. When she didn't reply, Danielle grew desperate.

"Miss Korechi, you said the school would be doing something," she demanded. "Why are you just standing back and letting them take her?" When there was still no response, she started on Baxter. "Why are you doing this? Let her go." Eventually, she settled for Sameen, her voice dropping as she pleaded. "Sameen, if you go now, you might not ever be able to come back."

The car door was opened, indicating it was time to go.

"I know that but I have to go."

The two hugged, Sameen being the first to pull away. She peered at Rachel over the car door. Rachel couldn't stop the way her heart ached as the small girl looked up at her, wide eyed, her hands gripping the top of the car door.

"Thank you, miss, for everything."

She smiled but her bottom lip trembled. Rachel leant over, resting her hand over hers.

"It's okay, Sameen," she nodded.

She watched as Sameen climbed into the car, the door closed behind her. Rachel could feel Eddie's presence behind her before he said anything, breathing slowly as his breath brushed against her hair.

"You've done the best you can, Rachel. You've given her a good start."

With the crowd of students and teachers, all she could sense in that moment was his hand resting gently on her arm. He was trying to be reassuring and it worked to some degree, yet she knew that wasn't why she was so fixed on his touch. The car drove from the gates, Sameen's figure still visible, waving. Rachel folded her arms tightly. Once the car was out of the grounds, the crowd dispersed. Rachel knew there was no reason to stay, following them all inside. She turned to check Eddie was with her before she did.

* * *

When she saw Hordley's car pull into the car park, the first thing Rachel did was message Eddie. She was behind her desk when there was a knock at the door. Scared he would figure their plan, she dropped her phone hurriedly.

"Come in," she called.

It was no surprise when Hordley entered the room.

"Nice to start off as politely as possible," he remarked, "Under the circumstance."

The very sight of him and the sound of his voice repulsed her immensely, more so than usual. After everything she had done to help Bolton, Hordley had exploited him. She could handle him doing it to her but not one of her pupils.

"Oh, I don't see the need when dealing with scum like you."

Even with her disgust, she still couldn't entirely look him in the eye.

"Let's get this straight, Rachel." His tone caused her to look up at him. "You get your crony off my back or I will blow your nasty little Pandora box wide open."

She closed her eyes, hands gripping each other tighter at the thought of her past being revealed. All she could see was his anger as she looked up at him through her eyelashes.

"How long are you going to keep blackmailing me for, Stuart?" she asked.

"As long as it takes."

She smiled faintly, knowing she finally had the upper hand. The door opened and Eddie entered, her smile widening to a genuine one at the sight of him. Stuart peered over his shoulder, not expecting to see him there.

"Hello, Stuart," he smiled. He closed the door behind him. Stuart stared down at her in astonishment but she only avoided his glare with an unrepressed smirk. "So, I thought I told you to keep away from Rachel but as you're here, I think you should see this."

He held up the file that he had made, glancing down at Rachel. Eddie was obviously pleased with himself. She couldn't help but smile back, his easy confidence infectious. Stuart took the file from him, throwing it down on the desk.

"What is it?" he snapped.

"Employment rights for young people," Eddie explained, "Course, if you've broken any of those laws, you'll probably never work again."

Rachel picked up her phone, unable to hold back her smile. The very thought of a life without Stuart Hordley was extremely appealing. "And as I have our very interesting blackmail chat on record, I think that we've got enough evidence to ensure we do not see you here again."

Stuart looked between the two of them. "You're bluffing."

"Investigations into Hordley Construction?" he smirked, "Five years at Her Majesty's for blackmail? It's all starting to sound very tiresome. If I were you, I'd quit while I was ahead."

Hordley changed his plan, understanding that the best thing to do was try and turn Eddie against Rachel.

"You think it's a good idea having her run this place, do you?"

For a moment, Rachel thought he might question his decision, deciding she wasn't worth it after all. His eyes met hers and she didn't know why she had been worrying. Eddie's support was evident. Biting her lip, she couldn't help but grin.

"Hm," huffed Stuart, "I bet you love working for a two bit hooker, don't you?" He circled Eddie, stopping behind him. "I bet she gives it to you for free."

Eddie's lips parted as he huffed in response. Rachel waited curiously to see what he might do. He spun around, punching Hordley square in the face. That hadn't been what she expected. She stood in surprise, her breath stuck somewhere in her throat. Her main concern was that Hordley would retaliate violently towards Eddie and that was the last thing she wanted.

"If you wouldn't mind pissing off, Hordley," snapped Eddie, "you're starting to irritate us now."

Rachel managed to release a shaky breath, glancing at Stuart. She could tell they had angered him beyond belief but their knowledge in his exploitation let her believe they were safe. Hordley stormed out, the door slamming behind him. Eddie turned round with a smile.

"Do you want to see him off?"

She nodded timidly, slightly shaken from the turn in events. They walked together to the playground. He let her through first. There was something comforting to her about their movements being in time with each other.

"Is that it? Do you think he's gone for good?"  
She looked for reassurance in him and she could tell that was his first instinct. Her breath left her mouth in mist, her body shivering slightly.

"Absolutely," he nodded.

He dug his hands into his pockets, a familiar gesture to her now. She glanced down at the sight of a silver locket sprawled on the floor. Bending down, Rachel picked it up. Eddie noticed, leaning over to look closer.

"Who's that?" he asked.

"Sameen's."

She opened the heart shaped locket to find a picture of Sameen's parents inside. The sight of them upset her, closing the locket quickly. Eddie started to walk back inside so she followed, brushing her hands against her arms to keep herself warm.

* * *

 _13_ _th_ _April 2008_

 _Dear Eddie,_

 _Today was a rollercoaster of emotions. The day didn't start too well. Since last week, I've been constantly alert, waiting for you to confront me when you realised I had never made the phone call. It's been a constant source of stress for me. We were getting along so well after you forgave me, for me to then throw that all away. But you can understand, can't you? I know you do because you apologised. You promised we would sort it out and I hope we do. I want to._

 _One thing I'm glad for is how strong our friendship has grown, how I believe it has. I am glad you've forgiven me. I don't know what I would have done otherwise. I would have been devastated. You forgiving me is the confidence I needed to continue doing well at school. It also surprises me how quick I am to explain myself to you. I try to never do that to anyone, learning from a young age that I shouldn't have to. But being with you, I can't help myself. I always feel the need to. I want you to understand me and for me to understand you._

 _We always disagree and yet you still manage to be so sweet. You think about everyone but yourself first, even with me. I can't thank you enough. Nobody has done that for a long time and I couldn't be happier. What worries me, however, is that I depend on you so heavily when I shouldn't do. Trusting you is so natural._

 _I trusted you when it came to Hordley and it turns out, it paid off. Hopefully we won't be seeing him again for a long time. The punch that you gave him frightened me. I've seen violence before, especially when I was younger, at a very frequent rate, but I wasn't scared of you. I never could be. I was scared for you. It occurred to me that Hordley could react and I was frightened that you would be harmed. For what? For me. Then would I be worth it?_

 _It surprised me that you bended so easily to my will when you have been fighting me for weeks. Worn from your insistence, I did not expect anything less than you to demand the LEA be involved. Yet even when you knew I had lied to you, you were not angry with me but understanding. This was something I had not expected but I shouldn't complain, not after everything that has happened. I haven't been so happy in a long time._

 _I'm still waiting for you to realise what you have agreed to and decide that you don't want any part in this sordid situation. Perhaps you have passed the point of leaving Waterloo Road but you could still reject me. Of course, I hope that never happens but I would understand. This secret is a terrible burden, from someone who knows, and I would not blame you if you woke up one day and decided that I'm not worth it. I hope that doesn't happen. I don't think I would be able to cope._

 _Yours always,_

 _Rachel xxx_


	15. Chapter 15

Finally uploaded something. Please enjoy x

* * *

Rachel left her office, a small smile playing on her lips. She had been incredibly happy with the past month. Her headship had been moving from strength to strength, the new building was underway, and her friendship with Eddie had slowly mended itself to something stronger.

She weighed the papers in her hand, knowing there was a lot to do. The mysterious Monsieur Legaurde was visiting from Paris after frequent contact with Steph. It was important the deal was done. As Rachel came to the top of the stairwell, she noticed Tom bundling up the stairs.

"Ah, the very man," she called. "I'm looking for someone to be Davina's mentor in next year's teaching training programme."

He came to a stop in front of her, glancing anxiously at Mika and Chlo, who had been following him.

"Do you think I'm the right man for the job?" he muttered.

"In fact, I know, but I'm not exactly spoilt for choice, am I? I have Grantly to supervise."

Tom smiled knowingly, sympathising her situation.

"Well, I'll think about it," he promised.

"Yeah?" Smiling in relief, she handed him the papers. "Okay."

Rachel spun on her heel, returning back to her office. Minutes later, Eddie appeared, his arms swinging wide and a beam on his face. The sight was enough to raise her spirits.

"What's made you so happy this morning, Mr Lawson?" she smiled, rising from her chair.

"Nothing in particular," he shrugged. "It's a good day, isn't it?"

"Yes, I suppose it is. Coffee?"

"Sure."

The coffee machine was in the anti-chamber, shoved between the stacks of files. As she was making Eddie's coffee, she was startled in realising she knew exactly how he liked it. There weren't any other members of staff she could say that for, except perhaps Steph. That woman had an unhealthy amount of sugar in hers.

Neither said anything as the machine churned away. It was a comfortable silence. She had her back to him but she knew he was still incredibly happy, sitting on the table behind her. His happiness was radiant.

Turning round, Rachel passed him his mug. "Here you go."

She watched it steadily, having accidentally filled it to the top.

"Thank you."

Out of impulse, she had tried to avoid his touch, holding the handle daintily. His fingers still managed to brush against hers innocently as he took the mug from her. Rachel sat down instantly, rubbing her neck slowly.

"Ugh, the relief," he sighed, "It is like a proverbial weight being lifted off your shoulders."

She didn't say anything, sighing heavily as her fingers pressed into the back of her neck. Her hand dropped and Rachel noticed he was staring at her over his mug. She sipped her coffee slowly, the lids of her eyes down turning.

"Is there any news on Hordley's whereabouts?" he inquired.

"Not that I know of. I hope I never have to see him again."

And she meant it.

"Hm." Eddie lowered his cup, raising his eyes.

She could tell he was about to question her again, the first time he'd mentioned Hordley since last month. Somehow she felt okay with it, something that hadn't happened before. He was stopped by a knock on the door. Danielle came in, dressed smartly and with a French banner over her shoulder.

"Miss Haydock sent me," she said. "Monsieur Legaurde is here."

The girl didn't seem too pleased that she had been sent. Smirking, Rachel took a massive gulp of her coffee, not wishing to waste it. Legaurde had arrived earlier than expected.

"Okay. Guess I'll go meet and greet." As she stood, rolling her eyes, she noticed Danielle had already disappeared. "I'll see you later."

Eddie peered over his shoulder. "Two language labs can't be bad."

"Yeah, let's hope so. Nearly three grand this schmoozing business has cost us."

He evidently had not taken that into consideration, frowning slightly. Then he smiled again.

"It'll be alright," he assured her, "You're just a natural worrier."

She paused with her hand on the door handle. Being an anxious person had always been a quality people disliked in her but he had said it so lightly that he didn't seem to mind. Rachel grinned, pushing the door open to hide her response. She knew he would still be there when she returned.

* * *

Rachel hurried down the stairs, noticing Monsieur Legaurde kissing Steph on the cheek. He turned to look at the school and saw the hesitation in him. Obviously Steph needed to get a move on.

"Here we are," exclaimed Steph, gesturing towards Rachel. "Miss Mason."

Rachel shook his hand immediately.

"Monsieur Legaurde," she greeted, "thank you so much for coming."

"Enchantè."

Steph said something hurriedly in French. Rachel didn't understand what was being said but continued to smile, knowing this deal needed particular charm. He answered back in French. It suddenly dawned on her that he might not speak English. She decided to interrupt.

"Your very generous sponsorship of our language labs will really secure our vocational French courses. Thank you so much."

Steph started to translate contentedly. Filled with worry, Rachel watched her, hoping she didn't mess up. Near the end, Steph paused, struggling to find the last word. Rachel held her breath, her smile dropping at the idea that their only French teacher couldn't speak French. After a pause, Steph managed to get the word out. Rachel exhaled quickly, her wide smile returning. Brett said something behind them in fluent French.

"Bravo," Legaurde complimented, "but Stephanie, there is no need to translate. My English is very good. It is a matter of honour for me to try and speak the language of one's host when possible."

Rachel was undoubtedly relieved.

"Absolutely. Ah, Steph, are you going to show Monsieur Legaurde around?"

This was a test to see just how well Steph performed under pressure and with higher responsibility.

"Yes, yes," nodded Steph, turning to him. "I'll give you the _grande_ tour."

She gave that ever familiar Steph chuckle.

"So, I'll see you in my office at start of lesson three for some coffee," mentioned Rachel.

He nodded graciously, letting Steph take him by the arm.

"Thank you."

Rachel returned back inside, no longer interested until they met her in the office.

* * *

For a special occasion, pastries had been placed on the table by the sofas. Rachel wanted to offer anything that Monsieur Legaurde might want. This was a deal she needed. Steph brought their guest in shortly, settling down beside him on the sofa. Rachel sat opposite them. Her hands rested in her lap demurely as she observed her guest with interest.

"So, Claude, what do you think of our school?"

He did not seem negative at what he had seen, smiling ardently.

"The pupils are extraordinary, very warm."

Rachel couldn't help but smile in relief, incredibly happy to think they could be receiving language labs, something Steph had been teetering for during the past few months.

"Excellent," she grinned, "How do you take your coffee?"

Steph leant forward in earnest, interrupting.

"Black. He likes it black."

She beamed over at Eddie and Rachel, the pleasure of knowing Legaurde were painfully evident. Rachel poured the steaming liquid into a clean mug that she had scrubbed herself. She was more concerned at hiding her amusement at Steph's eagerness in Legaurde, knowing Eddie was as amused as her. He was sitting beside her, sipping his coffee slowly. Although he said nothing, he glanced frequently in her direction.

"So, Mr Legaurde," he spoke, putting down his cup. "How much are we actually talking about here? Steph has been a bit vague with the figures."

Steph laughed nervously.

"When Stephanie first told me of your plight, it was my plan to offer you money for your labs, but where are the teachers to teach in them?"

Rachel hesitated when she heard him say that, and so did Eddie. They both looked across at Steph at the same time. All three were as alarmed as the other.

"Erm, hello?"

Steph stared at him, her hand resting on her chest to indicate she was the very person. She was smiling but it was evident that she was highly offended. Legaurde glanced across at her.

"And where are the pupils to learn? Only very few I am told are studying for their A-Level. This is very offensive to me."

This was devastating for their campaign in obtaining the language labs. Rachel could tell she was feeling the beginning of a major panic, her back straightening. She tried to say something, hoping to persuade him otherwise, but no words fell from her lips. Eddie was staring at her. He seemed to think she would turn the situation around.

"I am sorry, Madame Mason." Legaurde sighed heavily. "But it is not the language lab that you need. It is the teachers who can inspire."

Rachel could feel herself scrambling to rectify the situation, unsure of what she was saying.

"We are always trying to improve our teaching standards but it would be, well, the labs that would inspire the kids to learn…"

"I am sorry but I have to say no. I will be talking to schools that have more potential."

Rachel could feel her heart drop, her mouth left hanging open.

"When you have invested in the teachers then I will be willing to return," he added.

He stood, reaching for his coat that had been hanging on the back of the chair. Rachel stood too, her mouth still open without realising. She peered at Eddie who was just as confused and irritated as her. Seeing him calmed her slightly and she closed her mouth, shaking Legaurde's hand.

"Madame Mason."

No sound left but some estranged, strangled noise.

"Mr Lawson."

Eddie stood, reaching out his hand. "Monsieur."

"Stephanie."

She did not reply, her hand hanging lowly. Rachel opened the door, letting him leave. All she could do was watch his retreating figure, almost feeling as if she were watching money being thrust from her hands.

"Au revoir," he called.

"Au revoir."

Her voice was faint and it was doubtful that he had heard her. Eddie could be heard grinding his teeth, sullenly sticking his hands into his pockets. There was a moment of silence where all three had no idea how to proceed. Rachel closed the door slowly, leaning on the wooden frame for support, almost tempted to lean back onto Eddie. Standing straight, she flung her arms down in a fit of anger.

"Steph!"

* * *

Rachel distracted herself with paperwork, knowing that Eddie was near. He was sitting at the round table but neither of them said anything. Steph had been sent after Legaurde in the hope that she could change his mind, yet she had not returned for her last lesson, meaning they had to hurry to find a substitute.

Steph had arrived, dejected and frustrated. She slammed her bag down onto the chair on the other side of the desk, her hands flicking her fringe to one side.

"Look, I'm sorry that it's bad news but I tried my best. I'm going for a drink."  
She grabbed her bag once more, moving to leave, but Rachel was still livid at the result.

"Well, you better make it a large one," she remarked, "because I'm afraid your role as financial director is over."

"Rachel, Claude so much as promised me that money." She was shouting without realising, annoyed her professionalism was even in question. "It's not my fault he turned out to be a liar."

She glared across at Eddie who had sat in silence. He only returned the gesture.

"What the hell was I thinking giving you the role in the first place?" Rachel exclaimed.

All of Steph's past mistakes were remembered in a harsh light. It left her to wonder what ever led her to believe Steph would be able to hold responsibility.

"I put everything- everything!- into the job, but if that's not good enough then fine."  
She was close to tears, rubbing her nose as she blinked rapidly. Rachel felt herself gulp, close to pitying the woman before her.

"Sack me."

Steph rushed out with a click of heels.

"Oh, Steph, it's not about being…"

There was no reason to continue. Steph had gone with a slam of the door. Leaning over the desk, Rachel felt her eyes roll, leaning her head on her hands. She glanced over at Eddie, worried about the whole situation but all he did was shake his head.

* * *

Eddie was leaning over the desk, showing her a small photo he had taken over the weekend. It was a picture of Michael playing with the train set she had gotten him for Christmas.

"He loved it, Rach, look. He said thank you."

She couldn't take her eyes from the picture, ecstatic that Michael had enjoyed the present. Even happier to see Eddie so proud. There was a knock on the office door, ruining their moment of peace. Eddie stuffed his phone back into his blazer pocket and offered to answer the knock. Rachel thought nothing of who it may be until she noticed Legaurde standing on the other side. She stood immediately.

"Monsieur Legaurde…"

He nodded his head. "Madame Mason. I might have a serious complaint to make against your school."

Rachel couldn't think of anything they had done wrong, wondering what Steph had done in the time she had gone to see Legaurde. Surely she wasn't silly enough to do anything unprofessional when something this important was at stake.

"Excuse me?" she frowned.

"Madame Haydock," he explained. "In your country, I believe you call it sexual harassment."

Rachel could not comprehend what he was saying, not believing even Steph was capable of such a thing. She glanced at Eddie in the hope he knew what to do, but he was staring at the ceiling, trying to figure the situation. He looked back at her as if to say it was a distinct possibility.

"However, I think her heart was in the correct place," Legaurde added.

She gestured toward the sofas. Rachel did not know what else she could do.

"I can only apologise if you feel compromised."

Sitting down beside him, she thought fiercely about how to amend the issue.

"No, no, no. I am a big boy and Stephanie showed her passion for the children. Madame Mason, I have changed my mind." He took out a small piece of paper from his coat as she was still trying to comprehend the turn in conversation. "This is a check for thirty thousand euros."

She took it slowly, feeling the paper between her fingers. It was wholly unexpected after the day she'd had yet she did not complain, breathless that they had achieved the desired amount.

"What?" she breathed.

Rachel glanced up at Eddie, who was beaming.

"I thought you could use it to fund a student teacher from France perhaps to work with your staff, but that is up to you."

She could hardly hear what he was saying, holding the cheque by the edges and smiling down at the paper.

"Perhaps some of the money can be used to retrain Stephanie."

"Well, she is a little inexperienced in business," Rachel laughed.

"But please, don't send her back to Paris."

Eddie couldn't hide the puff of laughter that escaped him, turning slightly to face the wall. Trying to remain professional, Rachel managed to keep her amusement to only a smile.

"No." She felt her good mood returning. "Nowhere near you."

* * *

Eddie offered to buy her a drink and Rachel couldn't deny him. She also wanted to go since Steph was usually there. After the day they'd had, she had no doubt that Steph would be drowning her sorrows.

She did not disappoint. Steph was leaning against the bar, already tipsy, and ordering another drink to add to her intoxication. Rachel waved for the barman's attention when she got closer to the counter. She was dying for a drink. Eddie leant beside her, his arm brushing against her, whilst he tried to shout across at Steph.

"A pint of Beck's and a glass of Merlot, please." He told the barman, his eyes flickering over to his colleague. "Don't worry, these are on me."

"If I'd known that, I would have ordered a triple," she scoffed.

Rachel smiled down at the bar.

"Guess how much money Claude gave us," Eddie mentioned.

"Yeah, alright," she snapped. Obviously it was a sore subject for her. "He blew me out the little, French…"

"Thirty thousand euro. Over twenty grand."

She stared at them, trying to figure out if they were construing some joke. It was improbable to her.

"You're lying…"

Rachel shook her head, reaching out to take the wine glass in front of her. "Came to see us after you left."

"Can't believe it." Steph hurried round the other side of the bar to stand beside them. "What happened to make him change his mind?"

"You, apparently."

Rachel was still incredibly amused, despite the serious claims from Legaurde. Steph did not seem to realise, leaning back in a drunken stupor and giggling.

"See, told you you were wrong." Her finger wavered between them. "I did it."

She followed Rachel as they sat down at a small table. Eddie still stood, knowing the conversation would not be long and him and Rachel would be left alone.

"Yeah, well done," she sighed. "I can't say I approve of your methods of persuasion."

"Every financial director has their own little ways, Rachel." She tapped her nose with a wink.

Eddie and Rachel glanced at each other, worried that the accusations might actually be true. Seeing the way they looked at one another, Steph's smile dropped.

"I'm still for the chop, aren't I?" she muttered.

Neither of them said anything for a moment. Eventually, Rachel recited their meeting with Legaurde and how they had managed to get the cheque. Steph rolled her eyes before the story had even finished.

"Oh, get over yourself?" Steph scoffed. "So what? I flashed a bit of thigh. Don't tell me you've never done it."

Rachel felt her stomach churn. More than anything, she could feel Eddie's worried stare. It hardened her gaze more than anything.

"I'm not reinstating you, Steph. We'll discuss your responsibilities when I've thought of something. This way, you'll do the least damage."

Steph nodded slowly, seemingly having sobered up a little.

"Thanks…" She stood a little shakily. "For nothing."

* * *

Rachel almost felt guilty for what they had said to Steph, yet she knew in a professional capacity, she had no other choice. Sipping on her wine, she could feel Eddie's questioning stare.

"You shouldn't doubt your decision," he said.

Sighing, she put the glass down. "Oh, Eddie, I know. But no matter what she does, somehow I always feel bad. I know that there's more to her and she really does try."

"And you have a job to do. It's not your fault that she messed up."

The glisten of his dark eyes calmed her. Recently, her nerves had caught up with her but Eddie was always the voice of reason.

"Thank you." Rachel couldn't stop looking into his eyes. "For everything."

"I haven't done anything," he smiled, glancing down with part embarrassment.

"You've done more than you ever know."

There was a mutual comfortable silence. A lot of that had happened in the past week and Rachel found she wasn't bothered. Something between them had extended past their earlier friendship into something she didn't quite understand yet. Whatever it was, she didn't want it to end.


	16. Chapter 16

The flash of sun reflected from the roof of the silver Audi, glimmering as Rachel pulled into the nearest parking space. It was round the back of the school, rather than her usual spot near the front doors, considering she had accidentally slept a little longer than normal. Still, she found that it hadn't bothered her as much as she thought. It was the last day of the academic year. A natural end had come to her worries- about Hordley, about her job, about the usual issues of school life, resolved by the sweet bliss of summer break. So, an extra forty minutes sleep was not harmful.

Glancing across the car park, Rachel noticed the other teachers that were filtering to the closest doors. She slammed the car door shut. Only six more hours and she would be free for six weeks. Tom and Davina could be seen walking together, their arms around each other and casually stealing quick kisses. The sight warmed her. Normally she would have questioned what the students thought, but nothing could ruin her high spirits.

Smiling in pleasure, she began to walk toward the school. A football whizzed in her direction. The girls football team were practising outside before the game later that day, calling over to her. Rachel stuck her foot out to stop the ball, her boot resting on top.

"Woah," she laughed.

Janeece and Maxine ran over to get the ball back.

"Sorry, miss," grinned Janeece.

"It's alright." She enjoyed seeing her students have fun, especially since the summer was looming. "I wouldn't want to distract your training. Are you ready for this afternoon?"

"Yeah, miss." Maxine folded her arms. "We're gonna show them posh kids how it's done."

The girl glanced over at Janeece, both of them full of competitive spirit. Nobody loved a good competition more than the Waterloo Road students. That's something that attracted Rachel to their character, the fight that lurked within them all. Rachel laughed in response, almost wishing the term wasn't ending.

"Go for it, girls," she encouraged.

Janeece giggled. "Yeah, and Karla is gonna thrash them at the spelling bee but we're gonna just destroy them on the pitch."

She bopped her own hip against Maxine's and they raised their voices in cheer and laughter.

"You what?" chanted Maxine, "Boom!"

Rachel passed the ball back to them as they danced back to the team. She was pleased to see her reasoning was paying off. It had been her idea to ask Forest Mount for a friendly competition, wanting to show off their skills to a school that looked down on them as inferior, in knowledge and skills. She flicked her hair over her shoulder as she passed the spelling bee team. They were sitting on the metal staircase by an old fire exit. Rachel could hear them challenging each other to spell words. There was no doubt they would do well, not with Mika, Brett, Karla, and Dom for their team.

Inside the front foyer, there had been an effort for decoration, simple but lovely. Rachel found her good mood lift even more at the thought of Candice spending time preparing when she didn't necessarily have to. She was standing by the hall doors, laying out a table of food and drinks for their guests. This was the kind of day Rachel had envisioned when she accepted the job. It had all finally come together.

"Morning, Candice."

"Mornin'."

She looked down at the array of food.

"Wow, you're splashing out. Chocolate biscuits…"

Unable to help herself, she dug into the packet to take out a biscuit. Even the idea of chocolate biscuits excited her.

"Yeah, I know," smiled Candice. "I could always get out the custard creams."

Rachel pretended to act authoritive. "Don't you dare. I'm having two."

She took another biscuit from the packet, knowing the parents would soon eat up all the free food. Candice grinned widely.

"See you later."

Rachel opened the door to the hall, peering in to see how the preparations were going for the spelling bee. Matt was instructing the student volunteers on where to put the chairs, checking they were in perfect rows. He turned, seeing her there, and threw his arms up in question.

"Hey, looks good?"

She had already shoved one of the biscuits into her mouth, trying to gulp some down before answering.

"Looks great," she called back. "I wouldn't change a thing."

He smiled and she returned the gesture. As she turned to leave, she crammed the last biscuit into her mouth, crunching on it with delight. She was tempted to steal another one but decided against it.

* * *

Walking into the antechamber, Rachel held her shoulders back and spine straight. Bridget noticed her immediately, rushing over to the prepared paperwork.

"I've had a call from Forest Mount and they're on their way."

"Excellent."

She was handed two large brown envelopes along with a small stash of letters. It was all the usual mail. Rachel didn't feel the urge to check straight away, knowing the whole day wouldn't count as usual school time.

"And the winner's trophy is here," Bridget added.

"Perfect, thank you."

She sounded at ease and confident, something that hadn't happened in a while. Not after the Hordley incident. Reaching out her hand, Rachel went to grab the handle of her office door but heard the rustle of trousers, making her heart race. Eddie entered the antechamber. Although she didn't think it was possible, her mood lifted to a new high.

"Good morning!" she chirped.

He didn't look happy, whatever the problem was, cocking his head slightly in question. She was reminded of a confused puppy. Just as cute, she blushed.

"Can I have a word?" he asked.

"You can go mad and have several, if you like. Come on."

Rachel gestured with her head toward the office, not bothered by whatever it was that he had to say. Nothing could infringe on her mood. She beamed at him before walking into the office but he didn't return the gesture. He closed the door securely behind him. Dropping her bag onto the round table and draping her coat over the back of the chair, she brought the letters with her to the desk.

"What is it?

She flicked her fringe out of her eyes.

"I don't want to worry or panic you, okay?"

She sagged her shoulders and sighed dramatically. Somehow, she still wasn't worried about what the matter was. Eddie watched her letters drop onto the desk.

"Oh, I knew this day was too good to be true," she moaned. "You're going to spoil it, aren't you?"

He smiled slightly, more out of confusion than amusement. His eyes flickered to the wall.

"What?" he huffed.

"I know it's as rare as hen's teeth but you're looking at a happy headmistress."

She reached down to pick up the letters, leafing through to see if she could recognise who it was from. Eddie seemed panicked as he watched her.

"Why so happy?"

"Well, it's the end of term and, well, we're going to thrash Forest Mount at the spelling bee and with the football, and you know what? I think this school is finally working out."

He smiled warmly, his slow sigh barely audible.

"And this is the first time I've come in and I've not been greeted with doom, disaster, and destruction." Rachel flopped the letters onto the desk, raising her eyebrows. "So, what is it?"

Eddie hesitated for a moment, struggling to say something.

"You know what? It can wait," he decided.

He smiled awkwardly, beginning to edge out of the door, but she wanted to know what the matter was. Eddie couldn't make such a deal of something without telling her. He had been so serious. Resting her hands flat on the desk, she leaned across.

"No, no, no. Tell me. What is it?"

He was struggling to talk again, trying to mouth something but no sound left. She raised her eyebrows to prompt him. Her wide eyes and tilt of the head was meant to be questioning, but the way he stopped to look at her, she wondered if he found it alluring.

"What are you doing tonight?" he blurted.

Rachel stood straight, unable to comprehend what he had just asked. It was the last thing she had expected. She was undoubtedly shocked, her mind racing with possibilities.

"Uh, tonight? I don't know. Why?"

He wouldn't look her in the eye. Observing his bashfulness, she found it quite endearing. Was he asking her on a date?

"It's the end of term, I thought…"

He glanced quickly over at her. They briefly met each other's questioning gaze and she couldn't hide her surprise. She also couldn't hide her smile, the sight making him lose his nerve again and look over at the window. He must be asking her on a date. The six weeks off seemed much more appealing, particularly at the idea of spending more time with Eddie, in a more personal setting. As she pinkened, Rachel didn't even try to hide her enthusiasm.

"I could take you out and celebrate," he finished.

For a second, he glanced back at her questioningly. She was trying to keep her voice calm.

"That's really nice of you to ask, erm…" Glancing down, she tried to hide a widening smile. Rachel took a deep breath as she scrambled for words to say. Both were as embarrassed as the other.

"Yeah, you know, I thought it'd be nice to talk." He watched her nod in encouragement. "You know… Away from this place."

The moment was more enjoyable than she had ever anticipated. Biting her bottom lip, she looked at him through wide eyes.

"Yeah, what about?"

She had asked too quickly, trying to dampen her enthusiasm. It had worked a certain amount, as he shrugged slightly, raising his eyebrows.

"Everything? Have a drink?"

Glancing back down, she tried to wipe the returning smirk. Her day had reached a new height of perfection. Eddie knew how to cheer her up.

"I would love to," she murmured. "Thank you."

"Good, right…"

They smiled at each other in silence before Eddie took a step back, trying to regain his confidence.

"About eight o' clock?" he checked.

"Fine by me."

He bowed his head, neither able to look at each other for long.

"Good."

Eddie was still backing toward the door, as they both continued to smile at each other. He turned, about to open the door when he changed his mind, becoming serious once more.

"I need to see the budget for the PE department."

He walked back toward the desk.

"Ah, I got that somewhere."

She went over to the cabinets, flickering through. Rachel didn't understand what he needed it for but let him have it anyway. Taking the folder out, she peered over her shoulder at him before turning.

"Here we go."

They exchanged another smile and the folder.

"Great." He kept his eyes on the folder. "Eight o' clock?"

"Yeah."

Eddie nodded awkwardly before leaving the office. She watched him go, unable to take her eyes from him for long. It wasn't until the antechamber door closed that she let herself smile properly. The thought of spending time with him, the stretch of summer ahead of them, warmed her immensely.

* * *

With Eddie in tow, Rachel headed to the staffroom where staff that weren't preparing were waiting. The last day meant no official classes and the excitement hadn't stayed with only the kids. In the staffroom, the teachers were chatting between themselves. Rachel began to speak as soon as she was inside.

"Alright, folks. Forest Mount are here. Now, I'm going to say to you what I said to the kids, let's be on our best behaviour. We're going to show them what we're all about, yeah? And when it's all over, drinks are on me. Well, the first drink anyway."

She gave a small laugh, unable to hide her delight. Once drinks were over with the staff, it would be drinks with Eddie and that was all she had thought about since he asked. There was a similar state of apprehension and enthusiasm mirrored from the staff. No matter how much she wanted to stop and speak to her colleagues, she had to attend to the collection of Forest Mount students in the foyer. She reached out to rest her hand on Eddie's arm before leaving. The contact relieved her from any anxiety she might have had.

* * *

Students and parents packed all corners of the front foyer. Among them, stiff from fear of the Waterloo Road students, the head teacher of Forest Mount was glancing over their heads. Rachel decided to be playful. She had built a good rapport with Jeff, the headmaster, after having briefly worked with him years ago.

"Jeff, you made it."

He was evidently relieved to see her, his shoulders sagging. The throng of students had caused the foyer to heat up and he had hooked his blazer over his bent arm. Even in a partially dishevelled state, he still looked dapper.

"All in one piece. From what I've heard from the Waterloo Road estate, I was expecting to be held at gun point."

One thing Rachel hated was jokes on behalf of her students, but she could take it in the respect of championing them in both competitions.

"Oh, no, no, no," she grinned. "Friday is the armed robber's day off."

She peered up at him teasingly when he smiled back. Their banter was well established, but even after years of knowing each other, it never quite equalled what she had with Eddie.

"Same old Rachel. Smiling through adversity."

Rachel didn't quite perceive her job the same way. Her work was not adverse by any means and those professionals who wrote off such jobs, they thought too much of what was involved. The students were always more willing than they thought.

"What adversity?"

"Well, I understand you've inherited quite a mess from Jack Rimmer."

"There were a few wrinkles to iron out…" she frowned.

He scoffed over her. "Oh, really?"

She knew better than to take it personally. Whatever had happened before under Rimmer's care, it had not impacted the work she had done. Rachel had still conquered.

"You know," he teased, "if you ever get bored from martyring yourself around here…"

Rachel raised her eyebrows, accepting the praise modestly. Naturally, that was not how she envisioned it.

"Jeff," she warned.

"I'm just saying. Kingsmere Girls School is looking for a head."

That was most definitely not what she defined as an exciting job; there was no challenge. How some teachers could take such a cushy job for their entire work-span was beyond her. It became trivial after the first month or so.

"Yeah, but you know I have no interest in working in a private school."

"Just a thought," he shrugged.

Wanting to change the subject, Rachel wanted to get the day started. Let Jeff condescend all he wanted until her students beat his.

"So shall we crack on?"

"Why?" He glanced around at the mixture of Waterloo Road students. "Want to get the humiliation over with?"

She opened her mouth in pretend shock, lowering her folded arms to her hips.

"I told my lot to go easy," he added.

"Well, that's very kind of you. Thanks very much."

There was barely any consequence in what he said. Rachel flicked her head over to the double doors of the hall, knowing it was time they began.

"Let's see, shall we?" She parted from Jeff, glad to start work. "Alright everyone, shall we do this? Come on, let's get in the hall." Filtering through, she noticed Steph walking by, distracted. "Steph, you found him?"

Grantly had not been seen that morning but he was head of the English Department. He needed to be there for the spelling bee, at least.

"No, sorry," Steph muttered.

It was uncharacteristic of her but Rachel didn't have time to question it. There were students to take care of, whether Grantly was there or not. She was slightly pushed by the moving of the crowd as they gathered in the hall.

"Forest Mount, can everyone go over to the left, please?" She shouted over the mutter of voices and clatter of feet. "Thank you. No, my left."

She double-checked that they were sitting in the right seats before heading to the back of the stage, where the competitors were huddled together. Jasmine followed her from the hall, having been a coach to them. As she met them, Dom shoved a piece of paper into his pocket hurriedly. A little late for revising but she understood his nerves.

"Hi, guys," she gushed. "I just want to say good luck. What I really want to say is kick their butts. We want a white wash."

Rachel glanced around between them with a laugh, brimming with excitement. Yet, they stared at her with a blank expression.

"You'll get one," Brett offered.

"That's what I like to hear."

She ducked out, knowing everything needed to be done on time. The hall was packed with students, teachers, and parents. They sounded just as excited as she felt. That was exactly what she wanted to see. From near the front, Eddie strode over to his seat, glancing around casually before catching her eye. He seemed satisfied to catch sight of her. They exchanged a smile as he sat down, leaving the end seat free for her. She sat beside him, comforted to take their usual seats together.

Matt called up from the stage. "Okay, everyone. Thank you, thank you. Can we please welcome the spelling teams from Forest Mount and Waterloo Road?"

The two teams filed from behind the curtains, taking their prepared seats. At the sight of them, there was a loud cheer from the crowd. Rachel was delighted at the reaction between the students as they stood to support their team. Eddie leant toward her.

"I didn't know Dom was on our team," he mentioned.

"He's a smart lad. He just does a pretty good job of hiding it."

He sat back, glancing sceptically.

"Hm," he mumbled, "I'll take your word for it."

She looked over with a smile, enjoying his grumbling. No matter what, Rachel hadn't forgotten about him asking about the drink. Every time she looked at him, it made her immensely happy.

"You won't have to. You can see for yourself."

Gesturing to the stage, she gave a smug smile which he responded to with a chuckle. Matt continued to speak.

"Welcome to the first Waterloo Road spelling bee. Let's get ready to rumble!"

There was a collection of cheers. But despite the good cheer, Waterloo Road started badly. Rachel caught Jeff glance over at her, nodding self-righteously. She gave him her own smile back, trusting in her own students. And soon she was proved right as they began to catch up, tying with Forest Mount at fifty-five points. Karla was the last contestant, being the tie breaker with the word 'claustrophobia'. There was a terrible silence as they waited for her to finish spelling the word. Yet, Karla never got it wrong and they won by five points. An eruption ran across the Waterloo Road side and Rachel jumped from her seat with an excited scream, clapping her hands together. Leaning across to Jeff, she couldn't help a pompous laugh.

"Thanks for going easy on us."

The annoyance was evident in his face but she paid no notice. They had proved they were just as intelligent in a fair competition, winning over a supposed better school. Every passing moment was making the last day much better. She got up to give a speech while a standing ovation was still continuing. Her heart raced with elation at seeing those people watching her, a feeling she regularly got when publicly speaking. She stepped up to the microphone at centre stage.

"Well, thank you." Rachel motioned for them to sit down. "Wow… Congratulations to Waterloo Road spellers." As there was another round of applause and yelling, she took the change to adjust the mike to her height. "And commiserations to the Forest Mount team. You gave us a good fight, didn't they?" There was a milder round of applause. "Erm, I just want to give a really big thank you to our English department." Glancing over to the staff row, she still couldn't see Grantly. "Because they have been coaching these spellers for the past couple of weeks and you've done a fantastic job, thank you. Let's hope Mr Clarkson and Miss Korechi have done just good a job with the football team."

The girls in the crowd began to chant 'who are ya', pointing over at the Forest Mount students. Rachel laughed along with them. She was confident they would also win.

"Now, as you all know, this has been my first year at Waterloo Road and it's been a wonderful year." She looked down at Eddie, her heart swelling. "You know, just getting to know you all and…" Taking a deep breath, she began to feel emotional. "I hope you feel the same way."

"Yeah, but they don't know you, do they?"

Everyone turned at the sound of Hordley's voice. Rachel had only just noticed him, seeing him skulk past the back row. She thought for a moment her heart had stopped. How could she have been so naïve to think her last day could possibly be okay?

"Not really. They don't know the truth, do they, Amanda?"

There was a short murmur of gasps. Despite wanting him to stop, Rachel couldn't bring herself to move or speak.

"Yeah, that's her real name, see. Or at least it was when she was a prostitute."

Eddie reacted immediately, springing from his chair in anger. Rachel could feel her heart beating painfully, no longer enjoying the feeling, and it worsened with each small snigger she heard. Still, she couldn't move.

"Hey!" Eddie was halfway down the aisle, brimming with anger.

"That's right, boys and girls," Stuart shouted over Eddie. "Your Miss Mason used to earn her living on her back."

Half of the crowd were looking at him in shock and the other half at her. She didn't look at any of them, unable to take her eyes from Stuart. It felt like a ghost had appeared to drag her from the happiness she almost thought she deserved.

Eddie got to Hordley, pushing him toward the door. "Hey, that's enough, Hordley. Time to go."

Hordley pushed him back and a small battle of wills passed between them by shoving each other. Luckily, Matt and Tom had responded too and pulled them apart.

"You want me to take that back?" Stuart taunted.

Eddie was seething, his jaw jutting out. Rachel had never seen him that angry.

"Get out," he fumed.

"Going to get into her knickers now, are you? Going to get into her knickers now?"

Rachel thought she may start hyperventilating, any surrounding oxygen seemed to have disappeared. They began to push each other again.

"Alright, that's…" yelled Eddie.

"Enough," Matt finished.

He stepped between the two as Tom pulled Eddie back. In front of the students was one thing but with guests and parents there, the whole morning had been turned on its head. Rachel could see her day going up in flames before her very eyes.

Stuart was being pushed toward the door but he raised his hands. "I'm going."

People were beginning to stand, trying to catch sight of what was happening while it moved outside. Nobody made a sound, glancing around in confusion. And the worst of it all, Rachel had done nothing but watch.

"I've said all I wanted to say," Stuart shouted.

He pushed the door open, rushing out with the threat of Eddie looming over him. Yet, with Hordley was gone, the attention pivoted back to her. She was still standing there, unable to move a muscle or even utter a word. Eddie stormed back down the aisle to the stage, pointing over at those who were still standing.

"Back in your seats," he barked.

He bounded up the stage stairs, his feet echoing in the silent hall. Rachel was staring down at the floor. She couldn't look at him nor anybody else. Eddie halted beside her, his back to the others, looking only at her. Not being able to see his expression, she could smell his cologne.

"Come on, let's get out of here."

Rachel thought she could cry. He was so sweet and thoughtful, his voice so soft, that she felt even more unbearable. His face was close to hers and she managed to glance up at him, wanting to respond without the microphone in front of her mouth. Everybody was still staring at her.

"No, I can't lie to the people that have trusted me."

It was impossible to speak above a whisper. Eddie's dark gaze was understanding and that strengthened her slightly. She trusted him and she felt he trusted her too. Peering over at the students, she knew it was impossible to lie.

"They deserve better than that."

On the front row, Tom sat forward to hear what she had to say. Surely she owed it to her staff and pupils who put so much trust in her. Turning her face back to the front, her mouth was back close to the microphone.

"What that man just said was true."

Eddie stepped away from her, knowing she needed her space. In that second, Rachel questioned if he was embarrassed to be with her, especially now everybody would know. They'd be back to square one, back to when he hated her.

"I was a prostitute."

A ripple of gasps passed through the room.

"A long time ago. It was the worst time of my life." She exhaled quickly, feeling everyone stare, particularly Eddie. "I feel very ashamed about it and, erm, I've kept it a secret for all this time." The first bubble of a sob raised in her throat and Rachel clutched at the necklace around her neck, letting go nervously. She bit her lip, inhaling slowly before trying to talk again. "If I thought for one second that my past would any way damage this school then I would leave…" She tried to smile comfortingly but couldn't bring herself too. "But that's not for me to decide."

Before anybody could say or do anything, she rushed off the stage while there was still stunned silence. Not once did she look at Eddie, nor his general direction. Rachel couldn't bring herself to. It would be a fool's thought to believe there wouldn't be a scandal and especially not hurtful gossip. As she reached the nearest door to the corridor, there was a collection of clapping. Pausing, she rested her head against the ajar door, feeling her chest wrack with an oncome of another sob. Rachel blinked in embarrassment, knowing she couldn't be weak, and rushed down the corridor.

* * *

Bridget was busy printing when Rachel entered the antechamber. The last thing she needed was somebody questioning what had happened with an unknown innocence. All she wanted was to be alone. Keeping her head down, Rachel tried to rush into the office before Bridget even noticed. But she had fast reactions and she was also very cheerful.

"Well, did we win?" she questioned.

"Yes," she snapped shortly.

Slamming the door behind her, Rachel would have questioned if she had been offensive, but that was at the back of her mind. She stood there for a moment. It was unclear what to do. Looking over to the window, she placed her hands on her hips, trying to calm herself before her emotions spun out of control. In mere seconds, the best day had turned into the worst. Rachel spun once, unsure of what she was doing, before placing her hand flat on her forehead. Then her hand fell back over her mouth. She was trying to hide an ugly sob that was wracking through her chest. Sitting on the sofa, she ran her fingers through her hair as she felt a tear drop down her cheek.

* * *

Once she had calmed down enough, Rachel began to pack. She had cleared out most of her drawers when she heard a murmur of voices from the antechamber. Knowing somebody wanted to see her, she quickly checked her reflection in a small compact mirror. No matter how much she rearranged her fringe, the red in her eyes was still evident, and most of all, she still looked pitiful. The door opened with no knock and Eddie was standing in the doorway. Closing the mirror, she dropped it back into the handbag that was waiting to be carried away with her two boxes. He was silent for a moment, observing the chaos. Rachel couldn't even bring herself to look at him.

"What are you doing?"

The door closed with a defining thud. Yet, she pretended to be oblivious to his presence, even with his boring stare and continued to pack her box. Rachel was close to crying again. The thought that he was disappointed in her was the worst feeling, more than any other point of the day.

"Alright." His hands slid into his pockets. "Where are you going?"

"Straight to hell, no doubt." Her voice was shaking, a clear indication of her earlier crying. "I'm sure that's what everyone is saying."

Rifling through the drawers, Rachel knew they were empty but wanted to feel like there was more she could do.

"No, not all of them," he said softly.

He was so calm; she couldn't help looking over to him, sorrowfully. Eddie offered a small smile and she almost managed to smile back. He raised his arm to point out of the window.

"Did you hear that applause?"

Rachel didn't want a reminder of what had occurred in the hall, looking back down into the cardboard box. Rifling through, she pretended to be doing something other than listening to what he was saying. There was no question as to what he was doing.

"That was the kids," he continued. "I think they're a good reason for you to stay."

"No. They're the reason I'm going."

He was visibly taken aback. "Sorry?"

She could feel her bottom lip tremble.

"I know exactly what's going to happen. First it will be the press then it will be knocking on doors, asking the kids questions." She couldn't bear thinking of the consequences, remembering the way they had stared at her. "Then the parents will be uncomfortable and they'll start looking for other schools. And the LEA will step in then…" Exhaling, she had to take a moment to recollect her emotions. Rachel stepped behind the desk where she always felt some sense of security. "It's not right. It's not right that I should bring that on the school."

Rachel managed to catch his eye once again but there was no emotion there. There was no sign of whether he was disgusted, angry, upset… Nothing. That was worse than either of those emotions and she felt a tear well once more. She couldn't help herself.

"I made a really big mistake, Eddie. I should have nipped it in the bud." She glanced over where her name had been printed across a plaque on the door, where it would have to be taken down. Another disappointment. "I should have handed in my resignation the minute…"

"It's not your fault," he protested.

Her head snapped up in surprise. She hadn't expected him to defend her so passionately. Eddie began walking toward her, almost sheepish.

"Not this time. It's mine."

Questioning what he had done, he was already halfway through explaining himself.

"It's… I just couldn't leave it, Rachel."

Eddie was sheepish, foreign to him after the events of that day.

"Why? What have you done?"

"I had a word with a mate of mine from the council. Tipped him the wink about Hordley using illegal labour in council contracts. He said he'd look into it and obviously that's what he's done because he's lost all his contracts."

Rachel began to understand how it had unfolded and most of all, the effort Eddie had gone to. This wasn't only about her but those children Hordley was exploiting. She felt a sudden surge of affection swell in her chest, her gaze running all over his face. He was still abashed at his involvement.

"He lost them all?"

"Every single one."

Glancing around, she wasn't sure what to do with herself, her legs gave way and so she fell into her chair. Rachel licked her lips as she struggled to think of what to do next.

"That's why he's gone bust." Eddie continued to explain himself. "I…" He humphed. "I couldn't let him get away with it."

He was beginning to sound frustrated. The crack in his voice made her glance back up at him, knowing she could never place the blame on him. Her mouth downturned and she shrugged, picking up a file before placing it back down redundantly.

"I'm sure I deserve what I got," she whispered.

"No," he cried, "you've proved what you deserve. You deserve to run this school." He placed his hands flat on the desk, leaning toward her with every assertion he had. "You deserve everyone's respect."

Rachel stared at him pitifully. "Do I deserve your respect?"

He exhaled heavily, unable to understand her reasoning.

"Of course." Eddie smiled in a way she had never seen before, completely adoring. "And I thought you knew it."

A stronger feeling than before welled, increasing what had been there before, and Rachel was sure she had never felt that way about Eddie before. Surprised, she returned the smile with the same adoration, wishing that he would hold her. At least they could pretend for a moment that it was only them.

"Don't go, Rachel."

He was so caring and so sweet. Rachel bit her lip to prevent any further tears from falling, her bottom lip jutting out. His dark eyes glistened as he observed her.

"I'm going to clear this mess up today and then I'm gone," she decided.

It was only fair. Digging around in the few remaining possessions, she refused to look any longer at Eddie. He would only make her question her decisions. With an intake of breath, Eddie was about to protest further when the door opened and a woman stormed in. Grantly followed sheepishly, his shoulders hunched over. Rachel knew instantly there was something wrong. Grantly had been missing all morning.

"I'm sorry to interrupt but I think I've waited quite long enough," the woman exclaimed.

Both Rachel and Eddie glanced at each other in confusion. This severe woman could see something was amiss.

"I'm Stella Hanson from the exam board." There was a returning silence. "I'm here about the investigation…"

There was still silence and the surprise on everybody's features was painful, all besides Grantly. He knew he was in the wrong. Work was the only factor in her life that truly made her concentrate. So, Rachel sprung into action, beckoning them to sit down at the round table. As they were all seated, she managed to fit in one angry glare toward Grantly before he avoided eye contact. Hanson was wasting no time.

"Obviously when I arranged to visit Waterloo Road, I expected to be seen by yourself.

Rachel's mind was whirling and she had no idea how to respond, unable to formulate any coherent thought. Eddie saved her.

"I think that is a fair expectation," he said.

"As I said," Grantly interrupted, "I thought I was doing the right thing. What is it you always say, Miss Mason?" He finally looked at her, catching her sad, scathing attention. "Countability and responsibility."

It was completely the wrong context. Still, that wasn't what irritated her. It was his pleading tone and need to please, characteristics so foreign to Grantly. This meant he had messed up terribly.

Hanson laughed. "That is all very well but I find it hard to believe that we managed to conduct an investigation without it once popping up on your radar."

There was a shared profound shame between the two senior members of staff. They had been consumed by various distractions but they were personal. In that distraction, they had neglected the basic needs of the very jobs they were paid for. Neither tried to argue and Rachel felt her usual fire diminish. Another thing to be ashamed of.

"Believe me, Mrs Hanson, neither can I," she muttered.

Her shoulders jerked upwards, nonchalantly. It was so uncharacteristic of her, to be that careless in a professional capacity. Either way, Hanson was unperturbed.

"Cheating was picked up initially in your English department. Now, of course, all your other subjects are being brought into question."

"I suggest that we get the English department together and get to the bottom of this," advised Eddie.

The day was slowly spiralling into turmoil, even when Rachel thought the morning had preceded everything. She couldn't bring herself to see any other members of staff. Her eyes were fixed on the cardboard box, a flimsy reminder of her short career at Waterloo Road. The end of her whole career. In a blink of an eye, everything she had worked for had fallen heavily atop her in burning flames, leaving her buried.

"Rachel?"

It felt an eternal effort to drag her gaze over to him. She hadn't heard if anything else had been said.

"What?"

Blinking, Rachel knew she should be embarrassed to have missed anything. Yet even this unfazed Eddie. He didn't judge her but glanced at the others to check they hadn't noticed.

"The English department," he prompted.

She nodded slowly, understanding what needed to be done. The closed door was her comfort but soon she would have to leave, to face this world that knew her dirty secret.


	17. Chapter 17

We did it, guys! Finally, the end of series 3. There isn't a lot of detail, I don't think, in this one. There's just so much going on already. But now I can do a couple of more freelance chapters after this so maybe they'll come faster. Sorry for such long waits but y'know uni and summer jobs. Thanks so much for everyone who has read so far and please still let me know what you think x

* * *

Once rounded, the English department knew there was a serious issue. They shuffled past Rachel sheepishly, yet she hardly noticed. There was Tom, Grantly, and Jasmine, two other less enthusiastic members of staff by the name of Geoff and Len, and Matt. Rachel had already seated herself without thinking so Eddie sat opposite her, watching carefully. It was evident he was worried about how she would handle the situation. Hanson was sat at the head of the small congregation of chairs, glancing around at the culprits. Rachel stared in her lap, feeling like a naughty school girl. Now she knew how the kids felt.

"Our initial investigations uncovered fifteen clear cases of plagiarism and copying…"

"Fifteen?!" Tom exclaimed. "Well, that's more than half of our AS level group."

There was a murmur of discontent among the English teachers, showing clearly what they thought of this accusation.

Hanson almost looked amused. "Hm, these are only some of the more blatant cases. The ones that we can prove. Don't take disqualification lightly."

"Disqualification?" Matt frowned. "Are you saying this means the pupils involved are just going to fail the year?"

"Well, there is an appeal procedure but the exam board is rarely wrong."

Matt was frustrated but knew better than to throw a tantrum. Clearly something had gone wrong and he couldn't argue with those results.

"Would be in my experience," muttered Grantly.

Rachel wished he had kept his mouth shut.

"Excuse me?" Hanson was not pleased with Grantly, especially after he had made her wait all morning for a headmistress that did not know she was there.

Grantly hadn't noticed, his gaze rolling over, as sour as he had always been. He didn't say anything but with an attitude like that, he didn't need to. Hanson leant forward to look through her folder, flicking through the organised evidence.

"Picking one example at random- Maxine Barlow. Went from barely scraping a D in one essay to getting an A in the next."

Eddie raised his eyebrows, evidently surprised at the depth of negligence. As another tense hush descended, all Rachel wanted to do was leave. She hadn't wanted to be there in the first place and now her leadership was being questioned further. Not even her professional work could be respected, not with a mess like that.

"Seriously?" Hanson sat back. "How is that not picked up at a coursework moderation meeting?"

The silence was the most condemning answer. Rachel stared expectantly at Grantly, knowing he was the head of the department. He made eye contact with nobody and said nothing.

"Okay, different question," Eddie sighed. "When did you last have a coursework moderation meeting?"

Rachel changed her tactic, expecting Tom to explain himself. At least he was trusted to be truthful, yet there was still no response. Eddie sighed again, more irritable than the last.

"I can't believe this."

He was beginning to grow exasperated. Even after this embarrassing charade, Rachel still couldn't bring herself to say anything, her eyes fixed on the material of her skirt, humiliated. She was meant to be a leader, their leader. Everything that had felt so secure that morning had fallen around her in mere hours.

"Well, they just kept being put back," Tom finally said. "We ran out of term time."

"Put back by who?" demanded Eddie.

Everyone in the room stared directly at Grantly, who was still unbothered by his lack of professionalism.

"What difference does it make? Whether we caught them cheating or the exam board did, the lazy little animals are just getting what they deserve."

"What did you say?"

It was the only thing that had caught her attention throughout the whole conversation. Words had passed over her head with no consequence, but this deliberate attack on her students was difficult to ignore. Anger boiled through her, all the resentment from that day spotlighting on Grantly. She would give her everything for her students, all she had, and he couldn't care less. He felt bold for a second.

"Just that," he stated.

All her anger was directed in her stare, knowing she could do nothing more, and his confidence wiltered under her gaze.

"I mean, if they are cheating… Might teach them a lesson."

His gaze remained far from her but she continued to stare. She was boiling with rage but her voice was soft.

"Well, at least they'll learn something from your department."

"What's that supposed to mean?" His pride conquered his arrogance.

Jasmine was quick to add her own opinion. "It means that maybe if you'd done some of your own work this year instead of loading it off on the rest of us. If you had, we wouldn't be in this mess."

"How dare you. I'm not taking that from some slip of a girl who's only been qualified for five minutes. I'll have you know I've got…"

"Thirty years at the chalk face," Tom finished. He was tired, his chin beginning to rest on one hand.

Matt sat forward, eager to forward the attack. "Hey, Grantly. How about you change the record, yeah?"

"Don't you speak to me like that!"

He shifted in his chair, ready for an argument that would ensue but Matt was too irritated to care.

"Well, it's true, isn't it?" he snapped. "You're always going on about it. You're lazy."

Pointing his finger accusingly, he sprang back in his chair.

"I'm not!" protested Grantly.

"Yes, you are," Jasmine added, scathingly.

"I'm not taking this from the two most junior…"

"Right that is enough!" Rachel could feel all those voices ringing round her mind. "You are worse than the kids. Now, I don't want to know whose fault it is…"

"Well, we at the exam board do want to know." Hanson was as weary of the petty disagreements than Rachel, although, less forgiving. "As I should imagine, so do the LEA."

There was a haunting silence, as each member of staff reflected on their mistakes. But nobody felt that mistake more than Rachel. If the morning's revelation wasn't shameful enough, her leadership which had never been in question was now spotlighted under professional scrutiny. Yet, Rachel could feel a part of her fire returning at the thought of her pupils being punished. She had always performed best under pressure, the skill that had earned her title as a talented head-teacher, and now she had something to prove.

Leaning forward, her voice was low. "We need to discuss this in private, Mrs Hanson."

"With pleasure."

Rachel pushed herself to her feet, ensuring that Hanson was following her out of the staffroom. She did not dare to look back at her staff. Even though she had defended them against Hanson, that didn't mean they wouldn't feel her wrath later. They reached the stairwell by her office and Rachel knew she needed to regain some control.

"I need the time to uncover the facts, liaise with my staff, and speak with the pupils involved. What I don't need is you breathing down my neck while I do it. You can't threaten me or my staff. This is still my school, Mrs Hanson."

Hanson halted suddenly, forcing Rachel to stop and face her. They were situated at the bottom of the stairs, students passing them by. She was very conscious of that fact.

"Not for much longer, so I hear," Hanson remarked.

Blinking, Rachel was surprised how fast gossip had travelled. "Well, that's between me and the LEA."

A small group of students passed and she watched them, nervously. They didn't pay any more notice to her than usual, but she couldn't dampen her paranoia. There needn't be any more of her issues showcased in public.

"Hm, if I was a governor at this school, I'd be straight on the phone with them."

"Is that a threat?"

She tried to keep her voice quiet with so many people present, incredibly shaken but furious at the insinuation. Hanson cocked her head arrogantly.

"You can save your breath." Rachel always had to have the last word. "I'll be speaking with the LEA today and don't worry, they will be fully informed. Now, if there isn't anything else, can you please leave me to do my job?"

Hanson was left standing there. Even as some of her confidence had returned, Rachel felt as if all of her walls were being stripped away, leaving her prey to everyone's judgement. At least she had managed to keep a sliver of her façade. That was all she needed till the end of the day.

* * *

Once she had returned to the office, Grantly was called to see her. He entered with evident remorse, more for his public shame than the wrong he had done to his pupils. Even the sight of him riled her. She had needed a quiet day and had been handed nothing but mess to top her own. Still, sitting behind the desk and seeing his discomfort brought back a small sense of authority.

"Erm, I know I haven't handled the situation very well."

"You haven't handled it at all. How long did you think you could cover it up for?"

"It was not a cover-up," he insisted. "I was just trying to manage the situation."

Rachel closed her eyes briefly in anger, trying to regain a crumbling composure.

"You had so much on your plate…" he tried.

"Oh, spare me," she hissed. "You're watching your own back, not mine and certainly not your pupils or colleagues."

He took a sharp intake of breath. "I resent that implication."

"Well, tough." She leant her elbows on the desk, able to retain her intimidating posture. "The stupid thing is, if you'd come to me, I would have helped you."

"And now?" He sounded almost hopeful.

"You are suspended, pending an investigation."

Grantly's eyebrows rose, questioningly. He was a man who had spent his career breezing through and expecting no consequences, but she had had enough.

"What? I don't know how you are in the best position to make that kind of decision right now."

She felt further disappointment in him, a pang of sadness settling in her stomach. Nodding her head sadly, Rachel reminded herself she had every right to make that decision.

"I am still in charge here, Grantly." There was a thoughtful pause. "Go home."

"Right. We'll see what the union says, shall we?"

It was so typical of him that she couldn't help a small smile. In some ways, she had to admit she'd miss him, all of them. There were so many complications that had exasperated her but she would give anything to deal with them now. At least then, she would know she still had a job at Waterloo Road.

* * *

The bell rang and within minutes, the staffroom was brimming with teachers. Among them were the English department who were still chatting between themselves. Rachel spotted them and headed toward the man who was apart from the conversation. Tom was trying to pack his briefcase. She called out his name and he turned to look at her, the others falling silent.

"How do you feel about being the acting head of department? Not saying it's going to be easy."

She could see his conflict, but with a glance at Jasmine and Matt, they were brimming with encouragement.

"I-I don't know."

He glanced around once more, nervously, and he caught sight of Jasmine nodding eagerly.

"Yeah," he decided.

She smiled in relief. That was one problem sorted if she had to leave. Holding out a piece of paper, she let him take it.

"Good, well you can start with these pupils." She knew that Chlo's name was on there, curious to how he would deal with it. "Let's see if there is a culture of cheating in this school."

His gaze ran down the list and she could see his expression drop near the bottom.

"Like I said, not easy."

He brushed past her. Rachel knew he was going to find Chlo first, yet there was nothing left for her to do there. Leaving the staffroom, she took a moment to ponder where she was going next. Literally and metaphorically. Eddie was with the pupils and she couldn't interrupt him for no reason at all. She imagined him visiting her in the office, holding her. But that would never happen.

Remembering Jeff, she made her way to one of the empty classrooms that they were inhabiting. He had been a good friend to her so far. Rachel was relying heavily on that at this moment in time. Through the window, she could see him among his pupils. They didn't seem inconvenienced by earlier events or that they were stuck in a classroom, an indication of how good a teacher he was. Opening the door, she motioned to him when he caught sight of her. He was already halfway across the room.

"Sorry about this." She peered around the crowded class. "As you can tell, we've had a couple of dramas this morning."

Rachel laughed nervously but the sound died slowly. There was no chance of her pretending that the morning had never happened.

"Well, the pupils did have a front row for one of them."

His accusing stare made her ashamed all over again.

"I can only apologise for that," she replied rather sharply. "If you can give us half an hour, I'm sure we'd be able to get the football match underway."

She turned to leave the room when he spoke over her.

"I don't think so."

"Why not?"

He gestured toward the door with a nod of his head. Rachel couldn't bring herself to even blink, knowing this was a terrible sign. She had ruined the last opportunity for a good day for her students. It was meant to be their day, their victory. Nobody was going to remember the victory of their spelling competition over the news of their headmistress. In the corridor, she kept her back to him, opting to stare out of the window instead. She flicked her fringe out of her eyes as the sound of the door closed behind her. The voices from the class were silenced, enveloping them in reticence.

"Look, the Forest Mount parents are a bit unhappy about us being here in the first place." He watched her as she cocked her head to the side, frowning up at him. "I appreciate a large part of this is prejudice and even snobbery…"

She nodded sharply, holding her breath in humiliation. One thing she did not allow was other professionals insulting the students.

"Yeah, that's what I'd call it."

"But the stories that these kids will be going home with. It's not exactly going to change their point of view."

This wasn't about her students. This was about her. She squinted at him with scrutiny.

"And what stories will they be, Jeff?" she demanded.

Why she asked, she didn't know. The answer was quite evident. Still, she needed to hear him say it out loud.

"For a start, turns out my pupils have been involved in gambling. I heard they were conned into it by one of your girls."

Rachel couldn't help being slightly amused.

"Conned?" she scoffed. "I take it they lost."

"That's beside the point."

"But that's not really your problem, is it? Hm? Your real problem is me." The edges of her mouth downturned as she tried to calm the rising dismay.

"This has obviously been a very difficult day for you." He was evidently trying to remove himself from the conversation. "I personally don't think it reflects on you as a head teacher."

Any pride she had left seemed to disappear. Rachel inhaled sharply, feeling her self-worth take a final beating.

"You know that job you were talking about this morning? Is it still open because I might need it." She let out a short laugh to keep from delving into further despair, but he never responded. "No? I didn't think so. Excuse me."

She brushed past him, rushing back down the corridor whilst trying to retain any dignity she might have.

* * *

Rachel stumbled to the nearest staircase, desperate for fresh air. The corridors had suddenly become stuffy and she could feel her chest beginning to tighten, gasping for any air around her.

"Oh, here she is. Joan of Arc."

The voice ran chills down her body as she saw him striding toward her. It seems Stuart had not left after he had been taken out of the hall. He was dressed all in black and the hatred in his eyes was clear. There were a mix of emotions at his presence. He had threatened her, revealed her secret, but seeing him like that left mostly pity. With all of his effrontery, she forgot that he was just as broken as her.

"I loved your little martyr act," he spat.

They came face-to-face at the platform between the stairs. He was so close to her; she could feel her heart pounding.

"Why are you still here, huh?" All of her feelings rolled into one force of passion. "Don't you get it? It's over."

As much as she wanted to argue with him, prove him wrong, she knew it was best to leave. Rachel couldn't bring herself to be with him any longer. He grabbed her arm when she tried to pass, his fingers painfully tight. Before she knew it, he was pulling her toward him but she pushed back.

"Yeah, it is now your life is just as much a mess as mine."

"Get out of my school!"

Her screech surprised even her. As hard as she pushed, he pinned her to the wall, her back pressed against the various forms of graffiti.

"Get out of my school!" she panicked.

Rachel shoved against his shoulders, yet he only slammed her back into the wall. Her spine panged slightly with pain whilst his hands still pinned into her skin with brute force. She glared at him through her splayed hair, questioning whether anybody would find her before the situation escalated further.

"Your school?" His face was frighteningly close. Although crazed, he also appeared hurt.

"If you don't leave then I'll get someone to make you leave."

She briefly thought of Eddie, the way he had pushed Stuart out of the hall. He would never have let Stuart hurt her like that. With another surge of anger, she shrugged off his grip, despite his face still millimetres from hers.

"We're the same, you and I," he insisted. "We just did what we had to survive."

It surprised her that even then he wanted to connect with her. Hordley had a disorientated view on the world and particularly, so it seemed, with her. She jutted her chin out, their faces even closer.

"I did not hurt anyone." Each word was clearly punctuated with spite.

"Except yourself."

In the corner of her mouth, she could feel a piece of hair resting between her lips, but it hardly mattered. Rachel was troubled by leaving the staircase without being physically hurt.

"You tried to destroy me," she hissed.

"No, you can blame Eddie for that for talking to those people…"

She shoved him in the chest with energy she didn't know she had, only because he had mentioned Eddie. As far as she was concerned, Eddie had done nothing wrong. He had every right to mention Hordley to the authorities- all he wanted was to help her.

"I'm the one that told him to."

"You can't walk away from this, Rachel," he shouted over her.

"Look, if you don't leave then I will get someone to make you leave."

Her voice was beginning to rise in volume, unthinking that somebody may be able to hear them. Besides, she was about to lose her job anyway, wasn't she? She tried again to move past him but he grabbed her by the shoulders to pull her back. Her feet almost tripped over each other as they fumbled to stand straight. Rachel knew it was the time to panic.

"You think you're so much better than me, don't you? Well, I…"

She interrupted him by grabbing onto his shoulders and raising her knee with considerable force into his groin. Hordley exclaimed in surprise and pain, reaching down to clutch where he had been hit but losing his balance. He seemed to fall down the stairs backward in slow motion. Rachel suddenly questioned whether she should have done that, concerned she had seriously hurt him. She hadn't meant for him to fall down the stairs. With a smack, he reached the floor, rolling onto his side as he tried to regain some control. Once the sight had registered in her mind, she was already down the stairs, beside him. She wished he hadn't riled her so much. This made her as bad as him. Maybe he was right, that was what scared her the most. Once a bad person, always a bad person.

"Stuart." Her hands waved frantically over him, not sure what to do first. "Stuart, are you okay?"

She decided on his nearest arm, trying to pull him up but he nudged her hand away.

"I'm fine. Get off," he grunted.

There was blood on his hand and some trickling down his nose. Standing straight, she took a step back in horror. Rachel wasn't sure what she should do. She couldn't leave him there. He managed to prop his body up on all fours. As she stepped forward to help him again, a sound echoed through the halls with a sickening reverberation, like thunder. Rachel snapped her head toward the sound. Her mind couldn't comprehend what had happened.

"What was that?" she panicked.

There was no reply from Stuart but within seconds, the ear-splitting shriek of the fire bell began to ring. There was a lurking sickness rising in her stomach. Something was terribly, terribly wrong. But her first and main priority was the students.

"Look, Stuart, just go. Leave the building."

She managed to hoist him slightly and he staggered to the nearest door. For a moment, she watched him go, more for her own peace of mind that he had finally gone. Yet, Rachel didn't have time to think about him. The headmistress had a job to do. Pupils could be heard stampeding down the stairs where she had been only a minute ago. They rushed through the corridors with pounding steps and confused yelling. Normally she would have insisted that they walk silently but that exploding sound had shaken her to the core. This was not a drill and it certainly was not a small incident. Something awful had happened.

It was her duty to ensure all floors were empty before departing to the procedure point. Trying to get up the stairs, she tried to push past them. The fear on their faces sickened her.

"Everything's alright. Just get outside. Straight to the carpark. Calmly, quickly. Exit is ahead."

At the platform, she could see a bunch of boys congregated near the bottom step of the second floor. They were in Forest Mount uniform. Beside them, Jeff could be seen crouching by a boy.

"Come on, get moving," she frowned.

The attention was on a pupil who was hunched over the step, heaving for breath. He looked up at her desperately.

"What's the matter?" she inquired.

Jeff didn't answer, standing straight with the boy's blazer still draped over his arm.

"He's having an asthma attack, Miss," someone answered for him.

"What?" She glared accusingly at Jeff. "Where's his inhaler?"

"No idea," he managed to reply.

She huffed heavily, a clear indication of what she thought of his supposed supervision. This was standard procedure, especially for a head-teacher. Bending down, she began to rummage around.

"Did you check his pockets?"

Jeff started sorting through his blazer while she grabbed his bag, tipping it upside down. The contents flew into a scattered pile on the floor. Throwing everything aside, she found the inhaler between a doodled notebook and a wallet.

"There, got it."

She placed the inhaler into the boy's mouth for him, propping his chin up with her other hand. "Here, take a deep breath."

The usual time was counted by her. Once finished, she shoved the inhaler into the boy's hand and heaved him to his feet under the armpits.

"Come on, up you get," she insisted, softly. "Boys take him downstairs."

She followed them to the bottom of the stairs, ensuring they no longer needed her assistance. Jeff didn't even glance back in her direction. Normally that would have upset her but there were more pressing matters. The students filing from upstairs were beginning to thin out so she assumed the top floor was almost empty.

"Downstairs, please." She pointed to the double doors down the corridor when the remaining Forest Mount students passed. "To the end of the corridor, through the doors, and into the carpark. My lot, you know the routine. That's it."

"Rachel."

She responded to Eddie's voice with relief. It was the only sound that could calm her in that moment. His head could be seen above the throng of kids, trying to reach her. Rachel met him halfway, tempted to reach out and touch him.

"Are you okay?" he questioned.

She didn't pause to think that was his first priority, her mind in turmoil. "Yes, I'm fine. What's going on?"

"The cafeteria. Everything is on fire."

That was a worst-case scenario, but at least it explained the force of the explosion. It meant a lot of damage and it also posed a real threat to her students.

"Is anyone hurt?" she feared.

He shrugged, glancing over to the corridor that led to the cafeteria. "It's too early to tell."

There was a rush of urgency now that she knew there was a real crisis. She advanced toward the remaining students.

"Come on, kids. Get a move on! That's it."

Rachel could feel her chest tighten even more, her breathing struggling to come out evenly. She had been in a perpetual state of panic since Stuart had called across from the back of the hall. Eddie's presence behind her was the only thing keeping her from curling into a ball and staying there. No matter how long she had left as the headmistress, she still had a job to do.

* * *

The two agreed to separate so they could each inspect one half of the school. Rachel had to check the bottom half, whilst avoiding the cafeteria. Nobody seemed to be left in any of the classrooms or toilets. Everything was in order and the students were safe. They met near her office where Eddie rounded the corner as she arrived. Her mouth gaped open when she saw him, another rush of relief, hurrying toward him.  
"All clear?" she checked.

"Yeah."

"Okay, I'm going to do one last sweep, just in case."

As she stepped sideways, he imitated her action. "Well, I'll come with you."

Rachel knew he wanted to go so he could guarantee her safety. This once, she didn't appreciate it. She could do this on her own.

"No, you go to the assembly point," she assured him. "I'll be right behind you."

She offered a genuine smile for his thoughtfulness, her hand resting on his arm. Eddie paused for a second, glancing down at her hand against his blazer.

"Huh," he grumbled.

She let her hand slide from his arm, remembering briefly the agreement she had made to have drinks with him later. Perhaps that could still happen. She would check the school, the kids were safe, the fire service would arrive. Everything would happen the way it was supposed to. It would be okay in the end. Somehow, she thought she could see the same thought in his expression as he watched her go. Before she turned the corner, she peered over her shoulder once more and saw him still staring at her.

"See you outside."

* * *

The school looked empty and she was assured nobody was left inside. Heading toward the front doors, she could hear the sirens of the fire engines outside the front of the school. The cafeteria was close to the front, the smoke the thickest there. She began to cough as her throat burned with smog, her hand covering her mouth. It felt as though her head was being filled with the fumes. She was close to the doors, her hand reaching out to touch the door when she saw a figure in the distance of the corridor. The same corridor that lead to the cafeteria. From behind, the edgings of the fire could be seen. She couldn't leave them there.

Running over, she coughed roughly, knowing her hand couldn't stop the smoke from entering her lungs. As she came closer, Rachel could see it was Stuart. How the hell was he still in the school? He had left on the other side when the explosion had sounded.

"Stuart?"

She bent down to check he was definitely unconscious. The fire seemed to be moving closer and she knew there was no other choice. He had to be dragged as far from the fire as possible.

"Stuart?!"

Rachel nudged him slightly with the tip of her boot but he still didn't move. The smoke was beginning to burn her eyes and throat. In the corridor, all she could see was white, thick smoke and feel the heat of the nearby fire. Grunting in frustration, she bent down to grab his arms, pulling him down the corridor.

"Stop being a pain in the arse," she exclaimed.

She knew he couldn't hear her and she immediately regretted speaking at all. It was becoming increasingly difficult to speak and breathe. He was heavy for a thin man but she reasoned the doors were so close. Rachel looked over her shoulder to the glass doors, the promise of fresh air. With a heave, she pulled him even further with a new surge of strength. Something began to crumble atop her. It was just some debris. Then with a searing pain in her back, Rachel felt something fall atop her with incredible weight. Exclaiming, she cried out in pain. And then she felt nothing.


	18. Chapter 18

Y'know, I noticed the other day that I've been writing this for two years now. I am so slow, so thanks to everyone who is still reading this. It means so much! I also noticed that my writing was terrible so thanks again for putting up with it.

What always struck me when I was watching the series was that Rachel had a lot of mental health issues, which I don't think were addressed. I mean, it started in series 4 and kind of got worse. Even, Eva said herself in one interview that she felt Rachel was getting worse and there was no kind of recognition of that from the writers. So I mentioned her mental health in this because I want to look more into that. She obviously had a lot of problems, especially in the first episode of 4, and I think that would be interesting to think about and explore.

Let me know what you guys think as a whole; it's nice to know if you guys are enjoying it or not. Thanks so much x

* * *

 _16_ _th_ _August 2008_

 _Dear Eddie,_

 _Where should I start? In a matter that could have been so simple, I have landed myself in a tumultuous mess. Nevertheless, it is a mess of my own creation for which I should take full credit. There is much to say and yet, I know when I see you again, there will be nothing to say at all. Mostly because what is there to say?_

 _I regained consciousness last week. The first thing I saw was the white washed tiles of the hospital ceilings. After almost three months of being unconscious, that was what I saw. There was a spot of damp in the corner._

 _So I was finally awake and I guess I should be thankful, but I found myself alone. Not for the first time in my life. Nobody came to visit me that day or the remaining days I had to spend there. What can I expect? I guess I have no right to expect such a thing. Melissa hadn't known about what happened and I didn't tell her, so my only family member didn't come to see me. That was partly my fault. But that doesn't stop me for being slightly angry. Another reason why nobody would want to see me- there is every reason to dislike me. I am not the kind of person you would want to associate with. This is what I deserve._

 _When I woke, a nurse noticed and called a doctor to come see me. She said she'd stay with me so I didn't feel disorientated now I was awake. I would have preferred it if she had left. The doctor appeared and spent what felt like an eternity explaining what had happened to me. All I could remember of the event was the smoke, the fire, and Hordley. The burning in my throat and the suffocating air. One minute I had been conscious and the next, I wasn't. According to the doctor, I had attained multiple bruises and slight damage to my back from the blunt force of the ceiling when it had fell, although this had healed whilst I was still in a coma. A coma. I had been in a coma, Eddie. How can that have really happened?_

 _The force of the impact, the amount of smoke inhalation, and the burnt damage on my skin was what had left me in a coma. My body had taken a long time to recover. My mind, however, doesn't feel like it will ever recover._

 _For two weeks after I had woken up, I had to stay in hospital so the doctors could supervise my physio. My legs and back needed to work properly before I could return home. I struggled for the first few days since my legs hadn't moved for months. It was embarrassing, to say the least. It made me glad in some ways that nobody had come to visit me. I didn't want anybody to see me in that state._

 _But worst of all, I woke to find a repulsive scar that reached from my neck down to my right side, most of which is covering my breast. I knew it had been there but it was covered for a while by a large dressing. The doctor came to check on it, making me sit there while he undressed it. I refused to look. It was hideous. I don't know how I managed to refrain from crying, especially feeling my skin react to the fresh air. If I had ever questioned my attractiveness before, I definitely feel ugly now._

 _Once the dressing was off, I spent an hour looking at it through a small mirror in my hospital room. I even wondered what you would think of it. How grotesque you may find me. I could feel the tears as I imagined you staring down at me, at the scar. It hurt me more than anything. Yet, I haven't even see you. Not since that time. So then I came to think of you in general. What had happened during those months I wasn't awake? What had happened to the school, to the kids… To you._

 _The nurse came in one day and it had taken me all morning to find the courage, but I finally asked her what had happened. With the school, at least. She told me that it had been in the news for a good few weeks and as far as she knew, the school was half-burnt to the ground, but she had reassured me that it was already being rebuilt and would be finished by the start of the new year. So, give thanks for small mercies, I suppose. She didn't look at me any different, although I was positive she knew about me and my past, and I would always be grateful for that. But the kids were okay. I knew that, having been the one to scour the school before I tried to leave. Then that left only you._

 _So much had passed between us on the last day. You had asked me for drinks, which I still think about now, the way you had supported me all day when I could not even comprehend what was happening, and most of all, you were the last person I saw before I fell unconscious. Not including Stuart. I remember seeing your face, the look in your eyes._

 _'_ _See you outside.'_

 _I never did get to see you. What must you have thought? Of me and of this whole thing. Did you even think of that? Perhaps you've already moved on with your life. Maybe you spend your days in the sun, playing with Michael or drinking beer with your friends in the local pub. Where we once sat together. All those days of summer that you didn't think of me. I wouldn't blame you. I bet you've even forgotten why you asked me for drinks in the first place. Maybe you thought what happened was penance for all the chaos I caused, in your life and the school. Or if I hoped hard enough, you would be genuinely worried for me. I couldn't say. Sometimes I used to think I knew precisely what you were thinking, but I cannot dare to presume that now. Did you once ever think of visiting me? While I was lying there. Did you ever come into that dull, dim room with the smell of bleach and speak to me or even hold my hand? I wish, in some ways, you hadn't done either of those things. I don't want to think that there were conversations you had with me that I never heard or touches that I never felt and appreciated._

 _Either way, I bet you decided what I had known all along- that you had always been too good for me. That trust and respect you said you had for me, all gone in mere seconds. Now, with a scar to show how terrible I have been, you'll finally leave._

 _Two weeks. I had to remain in hospital for two weeks before I could be discharged. It was painful to leave that hospital with nobody waiting for me, even worse than no visitors. I imagined once that I left and you were waiting there, leaning against your shabby 4x4 with your hands stuffed in your pockets. That sheepish look you get, the one that is so endearing._

 _But I dreamt a lot during that time. I imagined and dreamt so many things that I couldn't distinguish for a while what was real and what wasn't. You were in all of my dreams, or arguably, nightmares. But you were never pleased to see me in any of them. In one, I woke up and found myself walking through the corridors of Waterloo Road. There wasn't anyone there but then I was in the hall. Everyone was sitting, as if it was an assembly, and they were all chanting for me to leave. I ended up on the stage and I tried to explain myself, but nobody was listening. They kept on chanting. That wasn't the worst of it. On the front row, in the same seat as always, you were staring up at me with clear hatred. I don't think I have ever seen that look before, not even at the lowest point of our friendship. Above everyone else, I could hear your voice carrying across the hateful chants. Mason, out. You wanted me to leave and you wouldn't let me explain myself. I tried to. Still, I know it wasn't real but this hurt me._

 _There was one that hurt me more. It still haunts me, although I have to reason that it wasn't reality. We were sitting in the pub, in the same old booth we always sit in, and we were having drinks. The same ones we have after a bad day. For a while, we spoke about normal things. It felt so real. Then you turned around and looked at me. You looked me straight in the eye, leant forward so I could feel your breath on my cheek (although I didn't find this uncomfortable), and told me that it would have been better for everyone if I'd just died in the fire._

 _I woke up in my bed alone, sweating and crying._

 _I am not stupid. As much as I like to think you do, I know you have never dreamt of me or even imagined a life with me in it. I bet you go to sleep at night and sleep deeply, without a second thought for the woman who was unconscious in the hospital. Your dreams must be wonderful, if you ever have. This certain image of you isn't fair, I know that, but this is how I feel. I believe you haven't had a thought for me and that sounds cruel, but it's only natural after everything I have put you through. I don't deserve even a fleeting thought in your mind._

 _Home was haunting. It still is. I returned home in a spare set of clothes that the nurse brought with her. All I had was the suit that I wore in the fire, which still smelled of smoke, and the white shirt was burnt slightly where it had seared through to my skin. I binned the suit outside of the hospital. The only thing I kept were the boots. I left in clothes that weren't mine, in a taxi alone._

 _I live in this large, empty house on my own. Everything seems like a vast echo. It has always been a symbol of my achievements in life, to afford such a house, and now it's a reminder of how lonely I am. One time, you must think I'm crazy, but I thought I heard the rustle of trousers. Just like yours. And I turned, expecting you to come through the kitchen door and ask for your normal cup of coffee. But you never did walk through the door and I had one empty cup left on the side. That cup is still there now. I can't bring myself to move it._

 _The nights are always the worst. My bed feels like some vast expanse that is never quite right or comfortable enough. I roll around because I can't sleep. Sometimes I hold the other pillow, squeezing it pitifully tight, imagining that it could have been you. How foolish of me. But I can't help it. What if I hadn't been caught in the fire? It could have been a possibility. If the drinks had gone well- the date had gone well. The house wouldn't be empty and I wouldn't be alone._

 _I never know whether to sleep with the lights on or not. The dark reminds me of the crippling pressure of the fire. I can hear it sometimes, even with my eyes open. Yet, the light keeps me awake, my senses raging. I lie there and think that must have been how I looked when I lay in the school. The way I was when they found me._

 _Worst of all, I am left alone with my thoughts with no release. There are so many voices in my head but the room is silent. They say a range of things, some I could never say aloud, not to you or anyone. I have considered everything they have said and I wish I could say I hadn't. Once I lay there, wondering if I had the guts, but turns out that I don't. I couldn't even do that._

 _The week after I was released, there was a knock on my door. I opened the front door to find the police there. At first, I thought they were there for me. But they asked politely if they could enter, said no to my offer of a drink, and explained promptly why they were there. Since we had been found together, they wanted me to know what had happened to Hordley. They told me that he had died during the fire. Stuart Hordley died. That was the worst of it all. I had never liked him but that doesn't mean he deserved what had happened. It was my fault. That was all I could think. This was my fault. He had been there because of me and he wouldn't have been caught under the debris if I hadn't dragged him there. I thanked the officers and let them leave. Then I locked the door fast behind them._

 _I realise it could have been me. I could have died. Yet, I know deep down that I would have deserved it. Everyone would have been so much better without me in their life, smearing whatever good I try to do with my past. Then I was back to the thoughts that had haunted me in my sleep._

 _Three days ago, I had an arranged conference call with the school governors. Luck seemed to be on my side, in some parts. I was advised by the doctor to remain at home for the time-being and for once, I listened. I could not bring myself to see another human being. Besides, some of them had made it quite clear what they thought of my past and the role I had in the new academic year of Waterloo Road, particularly the new Chair. Nigel had finished his time, although he had sent an unofficial letter explaining he did not judge me and would offer help if I ever needed it. I wish the new Chair had been so understanding. Ralph Mellor, you know him well, had taken over the job and was less supporting. He made it evident what he thought of me. He wanted me to resign. Still, I was voted in by a majority. He told me in private that I was lucky I had been given this chance, how much he had disagreed, and even handed me a resignation letter. I went home and stared at it for a long time before I threw it in the bin._

 _Deep down I know I should probably resign. It would be the best decision for everybody but I can't bring myself to. Waterloo Road has given me a sense of security that I haven't felt in years, whether it be the actual building or my job satisfaction. Most of all, it has been you that offers that sense of security. I am not naïve enough to think that security will still be present when I return. Things will never be the same. At least I have this chance to redeem myself and I want to prove I deserve it. As much as I try to deny it, I know I don't want to return for my ruined career. I want to see you. This summer has been horrendous and I crave that routine, one with you in it. Could I ever truly admit that? On this paper, yes. I know I could never truly tell you this, especially not now, and I know it will never be the same when I see you at school. I don't know what will occur, nor if you'll want to see me, but I would like to see you. Very much._

 _I had the regular visit from the doctor the other day. He asked how I was feeling whilst checking my scar, making sure it was being taken care of properly and all those usual procedures. I tried to remain vague but I think he sensed something in me. He referred me to the GP, who referred me to medication. According to them both, they think I have severe depression and anxiety issues. From the trauma, they said. My unearthed past, being blackmailed, and then the fire that scarred me had unleashed deep mental health problems. All of this was explained very slowly and carefully to me. I didn't believe them and I still don't. Despite the way I feel, the utter despair at the current state of my life, I strongly believe that it is only an after-feeling to what had happened. Nothing more. It will pass._

 _I refused the medication, no matter how much my GP protested, and I refused to take any more time from work. He told me I should take another month or so of medical leave once September starts, see how the medication goes. I told them this was not an option. There seems to be no other choice for me. I want to return when school starts. I want to be standing there when the cars arrive, the students filter into the front doors, and the bell rings. That's what I need to do. I need it._

 _Despite my protests, I know my GP has already contacted the school board, telling them I won't be there. I am certain they would have mentioned it to you. But I will be there, Eddie. I am not as weak as I seem. I cannot be weak again, not this year, and I won't be. There is so much I have left to give._

 _With all of this in mind, I decided there was something I had to do. I phoned Melissa today. I let her tell me all about the things she had been up to, how well Phillip was doing. It was nice to feel some sort of normality. Then I told her about the fire and being in hospital. She started to yell at me over the phone, unable to understand why she hadn't been told. I did not want to tell her that when I filled the medical forms, I left the next of kin blank. We hadn't spoken then and I didn't know her contact details, let alone ask her. Eventually we agreed that she would live in Rochdale until she was certain I was okay. I don't feel as if I'll ever be okay again, not in the same way, but I won't ever tell her this. There is no need to worry her unnecessarily. I don't know what will happen when she gets here. I suppose, after everything, I should be grateful that somebody is there for me. Then I may not be as alone as I thought._

 _After all of this, what stays in my mind is what you think of me. Perhaps you will think less of me but I don't think that's possible right now. Everyone's opinion of me must already be at an all-time low. However, this isn't what bothers me. What you think is what bothers me because no matter how much I try to deny it, I care immensely about your opinion. This has never been an issue before. Not with any other person. I am desperate for anything from you, anything that says you still care. You care so much about so many things and so many people, I want to be part of that. I want to feel you care more than anything. To know that I could possibly be worthy of that._

 _I felt something for you that day, the day of the fire. It was a new feeling for you. That feeling was incredibly intense. If it is what I believe it to be, I think I may be in trouble._

 _Love always,_

 _Rachel_

 _xxxx_


	19. Chapter 19

The door beeped open with the crackled sound of a nurse speaking through the intercom. Pushing open the door, Eddie felt his grip tighten on the paper wrapping. The corridor was empty when he entered, his hand brushing his t-shirt, over some invented crease. The motion made him feel better. He knew where he was going; he had been there often. Even the nurse passed him a look of recognition as he passed. He managed a small smile in her direction. Hospitals always made him nervous.

Entering the room, he could hear the beeping of the machine. It was a terrible sound but at least he knew she was still alive. Eddie glanced down at the dozen carnations he had bought, regretting his decision. They felt like a pathetic gesture. A light pink- he had thought they were pretty. He thought she would have liked them.

The table beside her bed was stacked with cards, all filled with well wishes. They were all from students and teachers of Waterloo Road. Eddie noticed one was from Candice and Bolton. Smiling, he carefully placed the flowers on the edge of the table. Now there was a sign of his own contribution. This wasn't the first time he had been there but it was the first time he had taken a gift. It felt right that he did. Besides, he wanted to. He liked to think if the last day hadn't happened, he would have bought her those flowers anyway, but she would have been conscious to appreciate them.

Pulling at the heavy chair with its thick wooden frame and green plastic cushioning, Eddie moved closer to the bed. He stood there for a while, watching her in the hope she moved. The heart monitor continued to bleep regularly. Unless someone looked closely, it almost seemed that she wasn't breathing. Eddie didn't like that idea much.

"Hi," he muttered uselessly.

Rachel didn't look the same. It didn't seem right to see her that way. There were oxygen tubes inserted into her nose, kept in place with yellowish tape. A white bandage could be seen peeping through the neck of her hospital gown. Her hair was splayed all over the pillow, which Eddie was sure he had seen the nurse spray with dry shampoo once, but her light brown hair looked darker now. There was no noise. Nothing. Eddie wanted to hear her voice, her laugh, hoping she would open her eyes. But she never did.

He visited at least once a week, more if he could. The summer holidays had given him more time to spend with her. Not the time he had hoped, but he was grateful she was alive. Blinking in frustration, he sat down. A puff of air was released from the cheap plastic. All he had thought about was that day.

It was his fault. He shouldn't have left her like that. There was no doubt the school was dangerous from the gas eruption and he had still left her. Eddie had thought of nothing but the way she had looked when she glanced over her shoulder at him, a slight smile of encouragement. That sight had haunted his dreams. All he could think of was every moment he had spent with her, unappreciative of her presence. Of every little detail. Now he felt like he knew every detail of her face, of her hands. He did nothing else but stare at them for hours, listening to the sound of her heartbeat.

If she had died, it would have been his fault.

Sure, she was stubborn, but that didn't mean he shouldn't have gone with her. Or at least, convinced her it was okay to leave.

So instead, he sat there, sometimes reading her the newspaper, usually the articles related to the school fire to let her know what was happening, or short excerpts from Pride and Prejudice, which she had once mentioned was a favourite of hers. He thought she might appreciate it. Maybe if she heard something familiar, it might stir something in her brain. That was his reasoning. One time he had read her the infamous declaration of love from Darcy to Elizabeth Bennett. He had stopped halfway through, a lump in his throat. Nevertheless, he persisted.

"My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you."

He paused, glancing up at Rachel. She was still unconscious. So he had pressed on reading to her. _My affections and wishes are unchanged; but one word from you will silence me on this subject for ever_. Eddie had pondered that line, worried for a while that his own feelings for Rachel would never be expressed. He promised himself that if she were to awake, whatever condition she may be in, he would let her know. The silence felt like an eternity. Surely, at some point, she had felt the same way. He thought he had seen it in the way she looked at him.

But now, he sat with his elbows resting on his thighs, his chin on his curled fists. There was no talking. Eddie had visited her a few days ago and already told her about the time he had spent with Michael. Nothing else had happened since then. So he sat, watching her, conscious he was doing so. Her hand was resting near the edge of the bed, lying flat against the starch sheets. He wondered if they were itchy. Would she have found them uncomfortable?

Eddie considered holding her hand more than once. Every visit he had looked across and imagined encasing it in his, but he wanted her permission. He had no right to touch her like that. Even as fragile and soft as she looked.

The door opened behind him, the usual nurse glancing over the dismal scene. She offered a sympathetic smile. Closing the door behind her, she advanced towards Eddie.

"You know, I was speaking to Dr Edwards and he was saying that her body is recovering significantly from the damage. She's done really well, considering. There is a high chance she could wake up some time soon. Now that her body has healed."

He was pleased to hear that, although he wished there was a more specific time they could give. It didn't feel enough to hear she was recovering. He wanted her to be awake.

"Thanks," he acknowledged.

The nurse lingered for a moment before leaving the room. If Rachel were to wake soon, that meant she wouldn't miss the beginning of term. Eddie knew she needed the time off but he couldn't help feeling his hopes rise at the thought of her being there. The school had been rebuilt in some parts where there had been considerable fire damage. Although her office hadn't been damaged, he had insisted they refurbish and redecorate the room. There wasn't a lot left in the budget and donations were hard to come by with the recent events, but he had managed. The thought that she would return to a comfortable environment, personally decorated for her, was what spurred his motivation. Ralph Mellor had told him that it was all a waste of time.

"Rachel Mason should be gone. She is nothing but a parasite to this school."

Eddie had flinched when he said that. There had been a meeting shortly after the fire in terms of what lay ahead for the school. All of the governors were there and some of the senior members of staff. However, most of the governors agreed that she should stay, to which he would always be grateful, and the staff generally agreed. The only staff member who wasn't present was Grantly since he was suspension was on-going. Yet, even Steph Haydock, who was still head of pastoral care, defended Rachel's position. Eddie had wanted to question her about it afterwards but she had disappeared rather hastily once it had ended. There appeared to be more support for Rachel than he had hoped, which he had to remind himself, shouldn't be a surprise.

Yet, Eddie knew Mellor wasn't going to leave her alone that easily. If she were to return, he would make his feelings quite obvious and that was the last thing she needed. He had even been offered the role as headmaster. But that would have been the ultimate insult.

"I won't let them hurt you," he thought aloud.

He sat there for another hour before deciding to leave. If he could, he would have sat there all day, yet he felt he was intruding. Eddie stared at her face for a minute, wishing he could reach down and kiss her forehead. Anything to show that he cared. Stepping back, he retreated out of the room with a lingering look over his shoulder.

* * *

He returned the week after, at the beginning of the month of August. There was only a month left till term started and he hoped this meant she may wake up soon. Rachel had been unconscious too long. With the usual crackle of the intercom, Eddie entered the ward, unperturbed by the now familiar surroundings. He thought he might tell her about her office today, about what it looked like. It had finally finished being decorated and he was proud of it.

Passing the nurses' desk, he heard the rustle of fabric as the nurse rushed from behind the desk. She was not the usual one but he still recognised her from some of his visits. Perhaps this meant there was news. He stared at her expectantly.

"Mr Lawson, she's awake."

It took a moment to register what she had said.

"Awake?" he repeated lowly.

"Yes, she woke up last night. I don't know whether she's asleep now but you can go in and check."

Eddie glanced towards the door. She was in there and she was awake. The nurse patted his arm in encouragement, leaving him to see her alone. He stood there, unsure of what to do, although he knew exactly what he needed to do. Starting towards the door, he raised his hand to knock, but it never did reach out, falling back to his side. He put his hand on the handle but he didn't press down either. Eddie didn't know why he was hesitating. This was what he had wanted. Raking his hands through his hair, he spun around and hurried back down the corridor. The nurse peered over her files at him, questioningly.

"Just getting some coffee." He tried to smile but failed.

Leaving the ward, he didn't stop till he was sitting in his car. He gripped onto the steering wheel, staring straight ahead.

"You fool. Stupid, stupid fool."

There was a chance to see her, to talk to her. He had waited for this moment for months and now he was going to throw it away. Why? Because he was a coward. All he had to do was walk back up there. She would be sitting in her bed, all on her own. Rachel needed somebody and he could be that person. And now he had thrown that chance away. He could never take that back.


	20. Chapter 20

Please let me know what you think. I'm going into series 4 now so it's nice to know if it's going okay. Also, since I'm on chapter 20 now, thanks to all those who have followed, favourited, reviewed, and just read it. It's been great!

* * *

 **2010**

Eddie Lawson typed aimlessly on his office computer. If someone were to ask him what he was writing, he wouldn't be entirely sure. Some proposal for next term. That was what it was meant to be. His secretary had mentioned that the deadline was approaching, although he should have known that himself. The morning had been spent writing this proposal that never seemed to end. His attention was on something else.

Across the desk, the black journal was resting atop a pile of paperwork. He had read the first letter, this one that stated how much he had annoyed her and that she would never write to him again. Yet he knew that there were more, so he had stopped, unsure of what to expect. When he had looked up from the first letter, Philip had seated himself in the living room. Whether it was out of respect or he was just scared to see Eddie's reaction, he wasn't sure. Eddie had said nothing, continuing the evening as he would have anyway. He left the journal in the kitchen. Neither of them mentioned it again. When Philip had left, he had taken the journal with him to bed, kept on his bedside table. He had sat with it in the morning but he never opened it. It had been a week since then and he had not read any further. His mind was still racing from the first, let alone a whole journal's worth.

As he glanced across at this simple book, he had to question what it was that frightened him. Was it the reminder of what he had? What he could have had? Or the simple fact that he didn't want to know what she thought of him. What if it was negative? That was what he couldn't bear, the idea that he had never made her happy. Not the way he wanted. Perhaps at the end of all these letters she quite simply stated that she didn't love him nor had she ever. But the fact she had written so many was promising in itself. Either way, it terrified him.

Rachel, in so many ways, had been simple but so hard to read. He thought he knew her and then more was shown, reminding him that he may never have known her at all. But he knew one thing. He loved her and she had loved him once.

There was a polite knock on the door. Blinking in surprise, Eddie looked at the closed door, clearing his throat.

"Come in."

Jennifer slid through with an airy countenance, her fashionable but baggy clothes hung from her small frame. Something about her reminded him of Rachel- if he could possibly say that. He thought it was her smile, but it wasn't. Her nose, her eyes, her ears, her voice, the way she walked. But when it came to it, nothing was reminiscent of her other than the simple fact he wanted to think of her.

"I hope I'm not intruding but I have a couple of things to ask." She had a lovely smile, but he was too distracted to notice. "I wanted to check that you have the list for our new arts evening."

Eddie blinked, taking a moment to register what she had said. His hands ran over the desk.

"Yes, right, erm…" He glanced down at the cluttered desk, desperately trying to think where he had put it. "Ah."

Pulling out the sheet, he pushed it to the edge of the desk. She reached out to take it with an understanding nod.

"Thanks." She held the paper to her chest, watching him intently. "And, the word from the staffroom is that there will be drinks later this evening. I don't know if I could stomach it but it might be a laugh if you come."

Eddie shot a panicked look toward the journal, as if Rachel were to appear herself, criticising him for something. But it lay there and Jennifer was still waiting for a response. He couldn't do it. Perhaps if the past year or two hadn't happened, he would have agreed, even contemplated furthering their friendship. Yet, all he did was stare blankly at her.

"I'm afraid I can't. I've let the paperwork pile up."

He wasn't exactly lying. The journal had distracted him from the work he was supposed to have done and although he wasn't planning to read it anytime soon, he still wanted to allow himself that free time. Jennifer didn't hide her disappointment, the page swishing through the air, back to her side. She gripped it in her curled fist.

"Yeah, of course. Maybe some other time."

Her voice trailed off and he briefly felt a surge of guilt. Eddie knew he should have been nicer to her, but there were more important things to think of.

"Yeah," he muttered.

She stood there for a second longer, perhaps contemplating what to say next. The way he stared ahead of him, not at her but through her, she knew there was no point. Jennifer left in disappointment. A minute after she'd gone, he'd nearly forgotten she'd been there at all.

* * *

Settling himself on the sofa, Eddie took a moment to relax. He'd poured a beer after three hours of paperwork. Putting the journal aside, he had to reason that some work had to be done, whether he had other things to think about. But it was over now. The journal was back to his side, taunting him. He had to read it at some point. Surely, she would have noticed it was gone by now. That had spurred him to consider opening it.

Eddie knew he was being irrational. There was nothing for him to worry about. The letters were undoubtedly personal and they would cover moments that he may be unprepared to think of, but Philip had given them to him for a reason. Not only because they were addressed to him. It was full of these letters and something must be there, whether at the end or elsewhere, that was specifically for him to read.

With that in mind, he picked up the journal, weighing it in his hand. It felt light. Raising it close to his face, Eddie could smell the faint trace of her perfume. He was transported back to the few months of their relationship. The whole of her. Opening the journal once more, he flicked to the second diary entrance, the familiar cursive that wrote his name. Eddie liked the way it looked in her handwriting. Looking at it made him feel comforted, like hearing her say his name.

Recognising the date, he remembered what day that was. He emitted a huff of laughter. It was the day when he had gone on the camping trip, where he had twisted his neck and ended in a brace. Suddenly curious as to what she had to say about that, he started to read, immersed in the beginnings of their relationship.


End file.
